"One Post to rule them all, One Post to find them,"

"One Post to rule them all, One Post to find them,
One Post to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."

Thus spaketh Jack, Bishop of Bullfrog and traveler in cyberspace. I am not a hobbit, a dwarf nor an elf. I am not from Numenor. No will confuse me with a balrog or Gandalf. I am just a blogger.

It is Saturday night and I am going to try and hang up my spikes for the rest of the year. Instead of spending hours trying to prepare a complete end of the year post I am going to spend a little time listing some posts of mine (there are around 1,000) from this past year. They may not be my best, but they are those that caught my eye this final Saturday night of 2006.

January

Obsessed With the Blogroll
The Many Layers of Hell
Blog Disappointment
Women and the Look of Death
Charlie's Angels- Child of the '70s
You Just Aren't that Funny
Commenting on Comments
A Question of Faith
My Daughter's Favorite Book

February

A Boy Named Mookie
The Olympics- Snowboarding and My Age
Valentine's Day Should Be Banned
What Do You Know About Me
Where I Come From
^@^@$$^^* Voicemail- Another Rant
It Would Have Been Great
Sounds of My Youth
Just More Ranting

March

American Inventor
Teach Your Boy to Pee Like a Man
He Stole My Lunch
When your Favorite Blog Suddenly Goes Bad
The Talking Penis- A New Bathroom Adventure
My Bill Collecting Service
**A Question For the Readers**
Afraid to Say Goodbye
Things Men Do

April

How Do You Make a Baby?
Comic Books Find Religion
Cookie Gives Shaft a Run For The Money
Shaving
What I Fear
How Do I Respond to This?
The Hokey Pokey Versus The Bunny Hop
Wondrous Places & Things
The Boys
Horror Movies- No Sound Equals No Fear
Women and Shoes

May

The Dodgers of My Youth- That Infield
Laws of return: diasporas as part of the state community
Diaper Changing Dilemma
How To Build More Traffic to Your Blog
Yom Yerushalayim
How To Deal With Angry Canadians
I Want A Castle
Darth Vader Reports- Death Star Destroyed
The US Civil War- Old Photos
My Son Speaks to G-d But He Doesn't Answer
What Do You Call Your Blog?

June

My Grandfather Laid Tefillin
Thoughts About My Grandfather
The Couple That Pees Together
Eliyahu Asheri Deserved Better
Gaza
Dear Soccer Hating American
Pictures, Videos and Memories
The Bearer of Bad Tidings- One Less Set of Footsteps
No, You Cannot Cancel AOL
The Father Leans On The Son
A Father's Day Post
Father’s Love Their Daddies Too
I Don't Always Believe In Happy Endings

July

Why Don't We Hear About Israeli Refugees?
'He who cannot defend Liberty does not deserve Liberty'
You Are How You Camp
A Soldier Says Tefilat Ha-Derech
Three Days in Israel- Graphic Images
Do The Dead Walk In Dreams
A Little SchoolHouse Rock
It Was a Bad Date
Because They Can't Steal Our Kids

August

A Secret For My Children
Frum & Gay
The Ginsu Knife
My Parents Purchased Cemetery Plots
Japanese Chair Ejector Video
Grandpa Is Still Gone
Eicha- An Aching Heart Mumbles

September

Do You Have An Accent?
My Theme Song
And That Is The Way that it Was- A New Year's Reflection
Seinfeld in Prison
The Pain In My Grandfather's Eyes
The Birthday Party Dilemma
The Phone Sex Surprise
How To Tell The Sex of a Bird
As The Bodies Fell- He Played
Morality Without Religion- A Comment to The Self-Righteous

October

Did You Listen to Abba?
Does Blogging Make You Feel Obligated?
A Little Notoriety For The Shack
How Stonehenge Was Built
Blogging Can Help You Make/Lose Friends
He Put a Gun To My Head
Who Would You Rather Be?
Twenty Five Years of Torah Reading

November

I Hate The Holiday Season
Movies Use The Same Scream Sound Effect
The Moon Is Following Us
My Brother- A Lesson in Simple Physics
Why The Baal Teshuva World Irritates Me
Israel & The Next War
It is a Useful Talent
My New Haircut
How Long Will You Keep On Blogging?

I think that I am going to pass on doing a December roundup. A safe and happy new year to you all.

Shouldn't That Be Merman

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs

From GoodEgg.com for those who need to know:

"Extremely fresh eggs will not peel easily. In fact, an egg that is just a day or two old is almost impossible to peel. As eggs age, the shells will peel more easily. It is advisable that eggs used for hard cooking (including Easter Eggs) be at least 2 weeks old before cooking for easiest peeling. Hard cooked eggs that are cooked slowly over low heat (and not ‘boiled’) will be more difficult to peel.

Directions
1. Place eggs in a saucepan with enough COLD tap water to cover completely by 1 inch. Bring to a ROLLING boil over HIGH heat. Once the water is brought to a rolling boil, PROMPTLY reduce heat to a lower medium boil and cook an additional 10 minutes for a “hard boiled” egg. For a “soft boiled” egg reduce the time by a few minutes.

2. Remove from heat and IMMEDIATELY place eggs under ice cold water or in a bowl of ICED water to chill promptly to help yolks stay bright yellow. Chill for a few minutes in the cold water until the egg is completely cooled. This is an extremely important step which prevents the greenish “ring” from forming on the surface of the yolk over time. If the egg is not chilled immediately after cooking an unsightly dark greenish ring will eventually appear on the outside of the yolk."

Saddam Hussein Execution Video

If you are interested in viewing the video Beth has it here.

Studying For Bar Mitzvah Aides Football Player

Some of what makes Taylor Mays a precociously talented safety for USC can be traced back to when he was 13.

There were months of intense study. Repetitive practice. And memorization of every nuance of his responsibilities. Mays was preparing for his bar mitzvah.

The experience of reading from the Torah shaped him in ways he did not anticipate, ways that have helped him thrive as a person and an athlete.

"I don't think at the time I really understood what that meant," Mays said of the ceremony that is a Jewish rite of passage into adulthood. "Now, looking back on it, I feel like I have come a long way in regard to maturity and becoming an adult.

"I think that helped me do it."

For the full story click here.

Blog Questions We Ask Ourselves

Originally posted here

The title of this post is a bit presumptuous because I am assuming that I am not the only blogger to ask these questions, or maybe I am.

1) If you are an anonymous blogger would the loss of your anonymity stop you from blogging? Golda Leah touched upon this in her post today and many other bloggers have dealt with it.

My own anonymity has been compromised and I simply refuse to stop writing because this is outlet means a lot to me. I am appreciative of the community I have become a part of and happy that I have been given the opportunity to learn.

But there is no doubt that the removal of the veil changes a blogger's approach. What do you think?

2) Many blogs have regulars, you know they are the commenters that show up on most if not all of the posts. Sometimes those commenters disappear. Do you wonder where they went? Do you wonder if they think that your blog has jumped the shark, if you upset them or if there is some other explanation for why they have forsaken you.

3) Do you ever wonder what the shelf life of your blog is? That is, how long will you be able to keep you going/how long do you want to keep going?

I readily admit to all of these, but I have to say that I my smallest concern is how long I can keep this up. I don't have a problem coming up with content. The big question is how much of my evening I want to dedicate to this.

If you enjoyed this or are curious to read my other rambling remarks about blogging try reviewing the posts on the blogging drop down menu such as

Blogging for Ego, For Experience, For What
Do you Have Blog Envy?
How Many Blogs Do You Read?

Old Posts Versus New Content

A few more housekeeping notes. From time to time I republish some old posts based. This is done based upon some arbitrary criteria.

1. I evaluate the post and determine whether it makes more sense to refer back to it in a new post. Sometimes it does and sometimes it is better to let it stand on its own.
2. Sometimes I feel that the post didn't get a fair shake and it is worth putting it out there again.
3. I don't remember ever running out of things to blog about. However there are times where I just don't feel like putting in the effort to produce something new. Yes, your host is sometimes lazy.
   

And there you have the short version of how I determine what to do. Any questions?

Old Saturday Night Live Skits

I just learned that NBC has placed many of its SNL videos online. You can find them here. It appears that they cover multiple seasons. I just watched the Buckwheat Has Been Shot news reports for the first time in years, as well as some other good bits.

"Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger, Cheeseburger."

On a sad side note, how many of these guys are gone now. Belushi, Radner, Hartman and Farley.

The Apprentice Just Jumped The Shark

I used to be a fan of The Apprentice but now I am not so sure. They have made some foolish changes.

If you never watched the show the premise was very simple. Contestants engaged in various tasks hoping to win a position as an employee of one of Donald Trump's companies. Typically the contestants were presented with various business challenges and given limited time and money to try and develop the best possible solution.

It was enjoyable to watch them compete and every now and then you might pick up an idea that you could incorporate into your own business.

The first five seasons were all held in Manhattan. Being a big fan of LA I was excited to see that season six is going to be held in my hometown. And then I read about some of the changes.

In a compelling social experiment of haves and have nots, contestants this season will have to earn the right to live like Trump. Each week, the contestants on the winning team will get to live in a luxurious mansion. But contestants on the losing team will have to sleep outside in tents in the back yard of the mansion with outdoor showers and port-a-potties, giving contestants more incentive than ever to win their tasks each week.

Talk about marketing BS. A compelling social experiment? My ass. Leave the Survivor elements where they belong, in Survivor. I see this as detracting from the show. Just my two cents.

It Said Some Assembly Required

In the aftermath of the holidays I think that I can speak for both Jewish and Christian parents when I say that I view gifts that have the words Some Assembly Required on the box in the same way that I view a colonoscopy.

If you are familiar with the preparation for a colonoscopy you can probably appreciate just how exciting I find this to be:

Thorough cleansing of the bowel is necessary before a colonoscopy. You will likely be asked to take a laxative the night before the procedure. In some cases you may be asked to give yourself an enema. An enema is performed by inserting a bottle with water and sometimes a mild soap in your anus to clean out the bowels.

Any time you are required to shove something up an into a place that's primary use is an exit for waste you can be certain that the experience is going to be something that is less than pleasurable.

If you are the nervous type you might find that your doctor/friends try and gloss over the discomfort by saying that one day this is going to make a great story. That is code for saying that you are about to get fucked. Now I don't know about you, but I liked to be kissed before I am fucked.

Call me a sentimental old fool, or just naive but I am funny that way. Back to the topic at hand.

My children were the beneficiaries of a number of gifts that included the curse words I mentioned above, mind you in very small print. Said small print was placed right next to the gigantic photo of kids using said toy.

Of course my kids never notice the fine print. All they see is the picture of other children having more fun than they can imagine leading them to shriek with joy at the thought of being able to use the same toy.

It doesn't take much imagination to see how this goes. Good old dad pulls the gift out of the box and with great gusto attempts to understand the schematic that serves as instructions for assembly. Said schematic usually is written in four languages, none of which are English and none of which I speak.

Fortunately I am relatively handy. It may take a little while, but I manage to assemble the toy in question. What I want to know is why do I always find myself holding three extra parts.
It makes me wonder if the engineer that designed these things might be related to me because I am diabolical enough to intentionally include a couple useless extra parts for the sole purpose of causing parents to curse.

Hmmm...I wonder if karma is kicking me in the ass.

Chain Email Letters

The next person who sends me a chain email letter in which they threaten me with bad luck for not passing along their stupid fucking message is going to get blasted by me.

Blame my bad humor on the time of year, time of month or whatever makes sense to you. I don't care. What I do know is that I despise these simplistic and moronic notes that promise me three wishes, true love and world peace, but only if I send the note along to the next 30 people in my address book.

If you are sending these notes out then you are a spammer and not even a honest spammer. Hell, a real spammer just goes out and sends off these missives promising pills that will give me an eternal erection, stock tips, lotto winner and the 1,002,876 requests from kind hearted souls who need my help in securing money by helping to perpetuate fraud.

At least those jackasses send these things out knowing that it is a flat out lie.

You others just fill my inbox with stupid crap and think that if we only held hands and sang Kumbaya war would immediately cease. Let's get a few things straight.

1. If you think that George Bush is the world's biggest terrorist you are just short of delusional. Ok, that is probably unfair but the moral ambiguity you demonstrate with comments like that is frightening.
2. Telling me that the death toll in Iraq now exceeds 911 is not significant or meaningful. Place it in some kind of context and maybe it makes sense.
3. Telling me that the war in Iraq has now outlasted the time it took to fight WWII lacks the same meaning and significance as the item in number 2.
4. Captain Kirk still kicks Picard's ass.
5. New Coke was a terrible mistake.
6. So was Caddyshack II.

I am too hungry to try and come up with anything else for this list. The well has gone dry. Must get some meat for my belly. More blogging later.

General Housekeeping Notes.

I set up Things I Want To Remember as a storehouse for blog posts and thoughts. The thought was that it would be an easier way for me to be organized, at least as far as blogging is concerned.

However for a variety of reasons I haven't been able to keep it going. So now I find myself at the tail end of the year wondering if I should delete the whole freaking thing.

On the other hand I just might try to use it to produce another recap of the past year in blogging.

I am still debating as to what to do about Fragments of Fiction. Do I really need both blogs to make this thing happen. The answer is no. I have been holding off nuking one or the other for sentimental reasons.

Former President Ford dies at 93

RANCHO MIRAGE, California (CNN) -- Former President Gerald Ford, who became president in 1974 after the resignation of Richard Nixon, died Tuesday at age 93.

Ford, the oldest surviving former U.S. president, died peacefully at 6:45 p.m. PT (9:45 p.m. ET) Tuesday at his home in Rancho Mirage, California, according to a statement from his office. The cause of death was not given.

Thank you for your service.

My Next Job

My next job will be driving one of these bad boys all around the country. I'll be the most popular guy at every stadium.

On the other hand maybe I'll just opt to pick up one of the other bad boys listed at:

Top 10 Coolest BBQ Grills (And Then Some!)

10 Most Bizarre People on Earth

The list is here.

Some Posts That Are Worth Looking At Again

When you are as prolific as I am it is easy for posts to get lost in the shuffle. Here are some links/comments about a few that are worth looking at again.

What Are Your Favorite Song Lyrics?-I Love Music

The Day School Dilemma- Paying For Private School -If you are a parent then you are going to have to think long and hard about education. It is a tough decision.

PostSecret- Just because.

Children of the '70s Raise Your Hands- Whoa.

The Salvation Army Bell Ringer Doesn't Like Me - I need to write part two.

Our Most Effective Man In The War On Terror- I can't believe that this didn't receive more comments.

The Agony of Defeat- Vinko Bogataj- Vinko deserves more notoriety.

The Latest Dispatch from Daniel Gordis- Worth a second look.

The Paradox of Choice and the Secret to Happiness- Outstanding

And the most popular post of December having received more than 1,000 visits in the last week:

A Full Metal Christmas

Anger- Do You Identify With These Lyrics?

"Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should"
Not Ready To Make Nice -Dixie Chicks

Would You Turn Down A Billion Dollar Offer?

AT 22, Mark Zuckerberg, a Harvard dropout, is being labelled as the next Bill Gates. But even the Microsoft founder might have hesitated before blowing the chance of a $1.6 billion (£819m) offer for his fledgling business.

Zuckerberg, founder of the Facebook social networking website, has told Yahoo!, the internet giant, that $1 billion is not enough to sell out. Now leaked documents suggest that Yahoo! was willing to raise its bid to $1.6 billion.

Facebook, which he launched as a service for Harvard students in 2004, has become the seventh busiest website on the internet, and with 13m users is the second biggest social network in America.

It has also become popular on British campuses, partly because it allows users to ensure that only people from their own university or place of work are put in touch.

However, it has also been blamed for carrying abuse about students and tutors. In one case, an Oxford University don found that someone had created a false profile in his name, claiming that he had been a member of the Hitler Youth. Although Facebook does have a facility to report unpleasant comments, few universities have the resources to patrol its pages.

There have also been warnings that students who post embarrassing personal material on the site could find it being used against them by future employers.

Zuckerberg cultivates the appearance of a dishevelled student but he keeps a tight grip on his company. He used to hand out business cards which said “I’m CEO . . . bitch” and has joked that the company is aiming for “world domination”.

His stake in the company is thought to be about 30%, worth $500m at the highest of Yahoo!’s valuations. Industry sources suggest that he has rebuffed suitors because he thinks he can do even better and because he does not relish the restrictions of corporate life.

One story has it that Microsoft had to abandon a planned 8am conference call with Zuckerberg because he said that he would still be in bed then. Zuckerberg, who often turns up to his office in Palo Alto, California, wearing Adidas sandals, took exception to a drawing in The Wall Street Journal because it showed him wearing a shirt with a collar instead of his habitual T-shirt.

Click here to read the whole story.

James Brown- RIP

Reports out of Atlanta are saying that James Brown has died at the age of 73.

There are a lot of things that can be said about James. For now I'll just focus on the music and say thank you for some great times.

Updated: Here is part of the CNN obituary.

ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) -- James Brown, the legendary R&B belter, a singer and songwriter who created a foundation for funk and provided the roots of rap, a man of many nicknames but a talent that can only be described as one of a kind, is dead.

Brown died early Monday at Atlanta's Emory Crawford Long Hospital of congestive heart failure, his agent said. He was 73.

Brown was in Atlanta for a dental appointment when he fell ill and was admitted to the hospital over the weekend for treatment of "severe pneumonia," said his agent, Frank Copsidas.

"It appears what happened is that he did die of a heart attack as a result of his pneumonia," Copsidas told CNN Radio.

Brown -- known variously as "the Godfather of Soul," "The Hardest Working Man in Show Business," "Soul Brother Number One" and "Mr. Dynamite" (and often introduced as all of the above) -- was known for his elastic dance moves, razor-sharp musicianship and all-stops-out performances.

He was, literally, an impossible act to follow: Keith Richards has said that the Rolling Stones' appearance following Brown in "The T.A.M.I. Show," a 1964 concert that appeared on film the next year, was the biggest mistake of their lives. Brown's performance in that show even earned an ovation from the backing band.

"You have the Rolling Stones on the same stage, all of the important rock acts of the day, doing their best -- and James Brown comes out and destroys them," producer Rick Rubin wrote in Rolling Stone."

The Barbershop

David has a good post about it over here.

If Chatrooms Were Real- Adult Humor

Warning- Adult Material ahead.

Keyword Searches- How You Found Me

Every so often I like to share this information with you. Here is a partial list of recent terms that led people to the blog.

sex internet talmud
dennis wolfberg
meaning of happy holidays
three days in israel
funny thoughts telemarketers
ladies urinal
shmata loves shack
throw me a rope tunstall meaning
letters about xmas
full metal christmas
sex with a rabbi
burning christmas trees
python
happy holidays in different languages
hummer school bus
I hate the holidays
Baal teshuva
random thoughts
Frum Sex
rabbi kolko

The Giant Squid

This is pretty cool.

TOKYO, Japan (AP) -- A Japanese research team has succeeded in filming a giant squid live -- possibly for the first time -- and says the elusive creatures may be more plentiful than previously believed, a researcher said Friday.

The research team, led by Tsunemi Kubodera, videotaped the giant squid at the surface as they captured it off the Ogasawara Islands south of Tokyo earlier this month. The squid, which measured about 24-feet long, died while it was being caught.

"We believe this is the first time anyone has successfully filmed a giant squid that was alive," said Kubodera, a researcher with Japan's National Science Museum. "Now that we know where to find them, we think we can be more successful at studying them in the future."

Giant squid, formally called Architeuthis, are the world's largest invertebrates. Because they live in the depths of the ocean, they have long been wrapped in mystery and embellished in the folklore of sea monsters, appearing in ancient Greek myths or attacking the submarine in Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."

The captured squid was caught using a smaller type of squid as bait, and was pulled into a research vessel "after putting up quite a fight," Kubodera said.

"It took two people to pull it in, and they lost it once, which might have caused the injuries that killed it," he said.

The squid, a female, was not fully grown and was relatively small by giant squid standards. The longest one on record is 60 feet, he said.

To read the whole story click here.

The Day School Dilemma- Paying For Private School

My name is Jack and I am a recovering father. It is not a joke. As a parent you are always recovering from something that your children have done, might do or are doing. It is a never ending battle to maintain your equilibrium.

In my mind's eye I like to imagine a lumberjack in one of those logrolling contests. The log spins one way and then suddenly it spins another. I am forever working hard not to fall off of the log. It is not easy, there is always something. And like so many things in life much of the spinning is financial in nature.

This is not the first time that I have blogged about this. I started to search for the initial entry, but I never did stumble across it. However I did come up with this little ditty from last March.

"All of this begs the question of when does sacrificing for your children cross the line of reality and common sense."

It is a smart question and one that I am finding hard to answer. I am a big proponent of education. It is an investment in the future. There is nothing hokey or cliche about that, it is fact.

But that doesn't change the reality of trying to ascertain when to say enough is enough.

The impetus for this post showed up in the form of a letter from the school advising me that tuition for next year will soon come due. It was like someone dumped a bucket of cold water on my head. I was not pleased.

At 4 am I was still pacing the house trying to figure out what makes the most sense. There is no question that I can continue to maintain his place in the school for another year or two. But that doesn't indicate the sustainability of it beyond that time frame and in truth I find it galling to consider how much I have already spent.

Here is what I know. His mother and I are quite happy with the school. The secular and Judaic studies have been excellent. The teachers are outstanding. He has made some incredible friendships and there is no reason to believe that any of these things will change in the near future.

At the same time I have to ask myself if I am being foolish. Would it not be smarter to try and move to a place where the public school was a real option. Why not apply these dollars to my home.

Part of the reason that I don't want to move him is because I am more than satisfied with the education and because he would be devastated.

That doesn't mean that he wouldn't get over it and that he wouldn't do well elsewhere. I am confident about all of these things.

But this is one of those areas where it hurts me to think about telling him that he cannot go to school there any longer. In general I don't let six year-old children dictate how I live my life, but I just hate the idea.

So I am going to sit on this for a bit and consider all of my options. Who knows maybe I'll win the lottery and the point will be moot.

HH #99

It is live here.

The 50 Greatest Cartoons

Over at CityRag I found a link to the 50 greatest cartoons as voted upon by the animation industry in 1994. It includes links to videos of most of them. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Betty Boop Minnie the Moocher

Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century

Chanukah is About to End

And so here we are at the tail end of another chag. Chanukah is about to end. It makes me a little bit sad, always does. The end of summer does the same thing to me.

It is not the idea that there are no more presents. That doesn't really make much of an impact upon me. Sure, I love to see the look on the faces of my kids as they unwrap their gifts, but this is different.

One of the things that I love best about this holiday is watching the kids as we light candles. There is this indescribable look on their faces. I love watching the reflections of the candlelight dance in their eyes. I love to hear my baby girl say the blessings. She stomps her little feet and marches in circles with this huge smile on her face.

And then just as we are about to finish she grabs my hand and raises her arms so that I can pick her up. For a moment we stare at the lights while she absentmindedly strokes my face. It is moments like this that make me want to stop time.

My son stands up so very straight. He knows the blessings inside and out. He likes to correct my Hebrew. The way that I pronounce the words doesn't sound as authentic as the manner of his Israeli Hebrew teachers, nor does it sound like his own pronunciation. The advantage of learning at such a young age is that he doesn't speak with such a thick American accent.

Every now and then I intentionally use Ashkenazic pronunciations like she'asah nisim la'avoseinu it throws him off a bit. He is not used to it. It is how the older generation of the family speaks and it helps me remember family that has passed on and past chagim.

PostSecret

How many people here read PostSecret? It is kind of a cool site. You know you head over there and read the postcards people send in with their deepest and darkest secrets.

Here is my confession. For the past six months I have been part of a team of people scattered around the country that send in fake secrets.

You'd be surprised how hard it is to write these cards. I have developed a formula that seems to work. I'd share it but it wouldn't be a secret any longer.

Shh......

Children of the '70s Raise Your Hands

My Theme Song

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.

Copyright © 1957, Dr. Seuss.

Chanukah- Too Many Presents!!!!!!!

My house is overflowing in presents. Too many presents. Too many gifts that beep, whistle, scream, shriek and geshrei.

There are worse problems to have, I know. Believe me, I am quite thankful for what I have. I am especially thankful for our good health. Today I learned that an acquaintance was in a major auto accident and is now paralyzed.

I have few real problems and for that I count my blessings. But that only goes so far. I still have to deal with the problem of too many gifts. It is the blessing and the curse of a large family. Everyone gives the kids something.

Having dealt with this before I made a point of going through old and unused toys with the kids. We gave away a bunch. We got rid of all sorts of stuff and like the cat in the hat it has come back.

I am tempted to try and set a moratorium on gift giving, but the question is how to make it happen. Who do I tell not to give the kids anything. Who won't be offended. Who won't ignore my wishes.

See, I can ask the familia for their cooperation and they'll give it, but it will be adapted. And the truth is that it is not like they are giving outlandish gifts. The haul includes books, clothes and toys.

Truth is, I won't set a limit on books. I will do everything in my power to foster a love of reading and that means that I never set a limit on books. Thus far it is working, they love to read.

Clothes are a necessary evil. The funny thing about kids is that they grow. My son just got three new pairs of jeans because the old ones magically shrunk. No sense having him look like he is ready for the next flood.

Educational toys were part of the big haul. I have to say that I let things go there. If that beeping noise helps them learn how to become mathematicians I have to say that there is some value to it.

Still I think that this weekend the kids and I are going to spend some more time talking again about being appreciative of our good fortune and why it is important to give back.

In the meantime I am going to get the hell off this thing. I have to kill that blasted whistling toy. If I hear it go off one more time I am going to lose the last few shreds of my mind.

The Salvation Army Bell Ringer Doesn't Like Me

Now I know that you are going to be surprised to hear this, but during a recent trip to the store I was accosted by the bell ringer for the Salvation Army.

Army: Sir, could you spare some change?
Me: Not today.

Army: Just a little would help.
Me: A little would help me too.

Army: Perhaps you can give something small.
Me: Perhaps you might like to give me something small.

Army: Sorry, I can't help you today.
Me: No problem. I can't help you either.

Army: My refusal shouldn't stop you.
Me: Stop me from what?

Army: From making a donation.
Me: It is not going to happen.

Army: Just give something.
Me: Ok. How about some advice.

Army: Seriously, just give me something.
Me: I am serious. Give me something first and I'll consider it.

Army: That is not how it works.
Me: Oh really.

Army: Yes. Jesus asks that you give and when you do you are rewarded.
Me: I don't think that you want to go there with me.

Army: Why? Don't you want to learn about how you can be saved.
Me: It would be easier to shoot up with heroin and far less painful.

Army: That is really offensive.
Me: Nah, I haven't even begun to be offensive. Say something else and let's see what happens.

Army: Sir, it is not my fault that your heart won't let you see.
Me: It is not my fault that you have been lied to for your entire life either.

Army: G-d will forgive you.
Me: You don't know what G-d will or won't do so stop speaking for him/her or it.

Army: All that energy and what have you accomplished.
Me: I have kept you from bothering the fine folks that shop at this establishment that wishes all of its good patrons happy holidays.

Army: Perhaps you should just leave.
Me: Nah, I like it here. I think that I may set up my own bucket. Instead of a bell I am going to use an air horn. Since the establishment has a big sign saying that they don't approve of soliciting I should have as much right to hang out here as you do.

Army: Would you just leave?
Me: Give me twenty bucks and I'll take off.

Army: Twenty. No way.
Me: What about 15.

Army: Uh, no.
Me: Ten?

Army: No
Me: Ok, what about five.

And with that the bell ringer broke down and reached into the bucket. With a stern look on his face he handed me a five dollar bill and pointed towards the parking lot.

I'll have to try this again at a different store.

The Python Versus The Alligator

The residents of the shack are nature lovers and interested in science. As you may recall we have blogged about pythons that tried to eat alligators, sheep and alligators that have eaten people. Now we are pleased to provide you with some more news about pythons in the Everglades.

EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK, Florida (AP) -- "SNAKE!" Hearing this shout, Skip Snow slammed on the brakes. When the off-roader plowed to a halt, he and his partner, Lori Oberhofer, leaped out and took off running toward two snakes, actually -- a pair of 10-foot Burmese pythons lying on a levee, sunning themselves.

After slipping, sliding and tumbling down a rocky embankment, Snow, a wildlife biologist, grabbed one of the creatures by the tail. The python, Oberhofer says, did not care much for that.

"It made a sound like Darth Vader breathing," she says, "and then its head swung around and I saw this white mouth flying through the air."

Snow saw the mouth, too -- the jaws open 180 degrees, the gums an obscene white, the needle-sharp teeth bared in an almost devilish grin. He let out a shriek, then blinked, and when his eyes opened the python's head was hanging in mid-air, less than a foot from his own.

Oberhofer, with a Ninja-like thrust, had snared the python in mid-strike.

"I snagged it right behind its head, on its neck," the 43-year-old wildlife technician recalls. "It was pure reflex -- a defensive move. I don't know if I could ever do it again."

The python hadn't succumbed yet, however. "They defecate on you, on purpose, hoping to make you reconsider what you're doing," Oberhofer says. "It's not pleasant."

Nope, I don't think that it would be. Let's take a look at the story highlights for a moment

• Foreign snake species threatening native wildlife in Everglades
• Python prey: Raccoons, possums, muskrats and native cotton rats
• More than 1 million pythons have been imported to the U.S. since 2000
• Slithery giants can grow as long as 26 feet, weigh more than 200 pounds

And now back to the story

Scientists also worry that these slithery giants -- which have been known to grow as long as 26 feet -- may soon start to feast on native species whose survival is in doubt.

"The Everglades doesn't work by itself anymore," says Leon Howell, 58, who has been associated with the park for the last 21 years as a visitor, naturalist, fishing guide and, presently, park ranger. "This whole landscape has to be managed today: water, fire, exotics -- you name it."

Which explains the evolution of Snow and Oberhofer into a human firewall against non-native exotics. Without them, Howell figures, "there'd be pythons all over the place."

A decade ago, Snow and Oberhofer spent their days reintroducing rare, native birds to the pinelands and monitoring "indicator" species, such as wading birds, alligators, bald eagles, panthers. Then, in the late '90s, pythons began turning up.

Pet owners were releasing their giant, unwanted snakes in and around the park. But convincing the public that pythons are a danger to this otherworldly mosaic of marshes, sloughs, marl prairies and shadowy hammocks was, and still is, a tough sell.

Perhaps that is because of the Everglades' primeval nature. Truly: Where else in North America can the visitor find crocodiles, manatees and rainbow-colored tree snails, roseate spoonbills and ghost orchids, towering royal palms and gumbo limbos? Here, biblical clouds of mosquitoes can turn a white off-road vehicle black within seconds. Waterlilies can perfume the air for miles.

At night, the beam of a lamp through a marsh often catches the eerie, ruby shine of a lurking alligator's eyes.

Drained and abused wetlands

Yet, as vast and threatening as these wetlands may appear, they have been so drained and abused by humans in the last century that a population of pythons, if left unchallenged, could take down this fragile web of life within a generation.

"It's a now-or-never thing," Oberhofer says. "We still have a chance, with the python's numbers being so limited, to do something. But if we let this go, we don't know how far the pythons will migrate, how much they will reproduce."

One thing is certain, Snow says. "They'll eat just about everything that's warm-blooded."

Three years ago, a party of bird-watchers walking along the eastern Everglades' Anhinga Trail stumbled upon a death match of super predators -- python versus alligator. The gator, it appeared, had the upper hand: Its jaws, capable of a bite pressure of more than 3,000 pounds per square inch, were clenched on the snake, and for hours the gator carried its prey about, waiting for the python to go limp.

But it didn't; after nearly 30 hours the python wriggled free of the alligator's jaws and swam off into the high grass. "We looked for buzzards feeding on a snake carcass," Snow recalls, "but we never found any."

That a python could survive a gator attack was a red flag, and it was soon followed by others.

In February 2004, tourists at the Pa-hay-okee Overlook watched, stunned, as a python wrapped itself around an alligator, which countered by rolling over and grabbing the snake in its mouth and swimming off. And then, last fall, the carcasses of a 13-foot python and a 6-foot gator that had squared off were found later floating in a marsh, the gator's tail and hind legs protruding from the split-open gut of the python.

"Sometimes," says Snow, "pythons swallow things they shouldn't."

That last line is a bit disturbing, isn't it.

Our Most Effective Man In The War On Terror

Every time I see a picture of Ayman al-Zawahiri it makes me think of how Lt. Frank Drebin handled Gorbachev in the video below.

For that matter look how effective he was in dealing with other terrorists and two bit dictators.

Rocky Balboa- Confession Part II

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about my desire to see the upcoming Rocky Balboa movie. Since that day I have redoubled my efforts to get myself back into fighting shape.

I have resumed lifting weights each day and am pushing myself, although not so hard that I haven't enjoyed sufganiyot and some gelt. But given how hard I have been training I am not worried about the extra calories.

If you want some insight on how I continue to motivate myself click here and scroll down to the links called training, pep talks and knockouts.

When I am not at the 'puter or the gym I cruise the parking lots at Costco and Trader Joes and or wish people Happy Holidays. That always gives me more fodder for the fire

Readers Come And Go

One of the things about blogging that I have noticed is that readers come and go. I recognize that there is nothing profound about this, but I find it to be interesting. I suppose that I should elaborate upon this idea.

If you get involved in following the various stat checking tools (stat counters, Technorati, etc.) you begin to notice that there are certain people who consistently appear at your blog. They may not always comment, for that matter they may never do so, but they still follow your work.

The seventeen longtime readers are well aware that I check my stats on a regular basis, maybe too consistently. I won't say that I cannot help it, but I really do find it quite interesting to see what is moving here. Which posts are the most widely read, what keywords are used to bring people here etc.

Anyway, from time to time I notice that some people have dropped me and I am usually curious why. I wonder if they got bored, if I offended them or if they just found better things to do with their time.

Then again I wonder whether who would win in a fight between Scooby Doo and the Jetson's dog Astro. Maybe I am spending too much time here at the keyboard.

Hmmmmmmmm..............

It Is Juvenile, But It Bothers Me

I know that this is juvenile, but it bothers me when other cars pass me on the freeway. Ok, that is not entirely true, it doesn't always bother me.

But sometimes it just grates on my nerves to see the guy driving that sports car that I could never afford go ambling by like I am standing still. Even worse is watching the girl in the beat up clunker pass me.

Confession of the moment. Sometimes if I see a car trying to pass me I'll speed up so that they cannot. Go pass someone else, my fragile male ego can't always take it.

The Chanukah Meme

Amy Guth is doing a Chanukah blog tour in which she is visiting a variety of bloggers who have taken time to fill out here meme. I am not always great about answering meme's honestly,
but I'll do my best here.

In case you are wondering who else is participating on this particular day they include the following bloggers, none of who I am familiar with. Maybe that will change.

Want Some Cheese With That W(h)ine?
True Ancestor
The Shalvster
Not Chosen, Just Posin'

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet
delight (as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them
up, flavor and/or garnish them?

I would be quite careful with this. I like the standard latke, but I suppose that I might consider something that added some spice to them. A little Tabasco sauce. Come to think of it, spicy latkes sound pretty damn good.

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

Hmm...That is a hard question to answer as I have heard so many stupid things. Someone once told me that they thought that Chanukah was a waste of time. Their rationale went as follows:

1)jesus was King of the Jews (Ed. Note: They weren't Jewish and I certainly don't believe this.)
2) Kings have everything they need.
3) Therefore you shouldn't buy gifts because a king doesn't need anything.

Not the smartest guy. Nice guy, but not very smart at all. Incredible logic, don'tcha think.

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Sorry, this blog is PG-13.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

You know this could be a great set-up for Tony Soprano. I wonder if James Gandolfini would be willing to make a guest appearance here at The Shack.

I'd have to tell him that I hated him in The Last Castle. It was terrible.

Ok, back on task. I like Latkes and Hamantaschen. Two different holidays, two different treats. Sufganiyot aren't bad but why not just inject straight fat into your belly. It is faster.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

A blindfold and a bottle of Tequila.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

I have been married 9 times. I don't want any women who aren't here to clean coming over. Excuse me while I duck and run for cover

7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think
would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

It is called Fragments of Fiction, but it is not quite ready to be released yet.

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?
(link to them)

The answer to this one is written in invisible ink.

The Agony of Defeat- Vinko Bogataj

If you were a child/teen living in the US during the '70s chances are that at some point in time you came across or watched ABC's Wide World of Sports. The link takes you to a page that offers a video the opening to that show.

Jim McKay offered the following narrative against a montage of athletes performing in their various sports:

"Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport…

the thrill of victory…

and the agony of defeat…

the human drama of athletic competition…

this is ABC's Wide World of Sports!"

The key part of that was always the line about the agony of defeat. Why? Because of Vinko Bogataj. He was the skier who had that awful crash. More than 30 years later he has become one of those people that stands out from our childhood.

Apparently the man has done ok for himself, which is a good thing considering how his misfortune made him the butt of so many jokes.

The Simpsons Voices One More Time

Trolls, Antisemites and More

The beauty of blogging is that you just never know who is going to decide to come and visit your blog. Some of your guests are going to be delightful and others are going to be less delightful. Some of them are going to have manners and some are going to be examples of the worst that man has to offer.

No exaggeration. I mean that wholeheartedly. People will say anything, especially from the safety of their keyboard

Now there are things that you can do try and monitor/moderate the discussion among you and your guests. Technology offers all sorts of tools that you can use to maintain a civil discourse. I have made a point of not using most of those.

The problem with applying filters is that it sometimes catches people that you prefer would be allowed to roam the premises. That is not how I want this blog to operate. It is an open forum in which virtually any comment is allowed to stay.

That doesn't mean that I do not reserve the right to remove comments for any reason whatsoever. I don't suffer spam. Blatant ads are removed. Racist comments are generally removed as well.

I say generally removed because sometimes I will leave them up because they help to provide a context for a discussion. I do not do so gratuitously. I just know that sometimes the best way to make a point is to provide a good example.

In case you are wondering what motivated this post it is because of a number of emails and comments I recently received that follow Aryan/Nazi protocol. Some of these fine people would prefer to see me dead, or so they have expressed. Ok, it is not just me, there are quite a few people that they would like to see die.

Since we do not have the pleasure of meeting in person I am not able to provide you with my own special greeting. I would be happy to help you enjoy an extra large dose of STFU and GFY. I do believe that my size 12 boot would lend itself well to this endeavor.

That is all for now.

The Who

I have been a fan of The Who for many years now. Been listening to them on iTunes for a good chunk of the evening. Here are some lyrics from some of my favorite songs.

"Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?
Who are you?
Who, who, who, who?

I woke up in a Soho doorway
A policeman knew my name
He said "You can go sleep at home tonight
If you can get up and walk away"

I staggered back to the underground
And the breeze blew back my hair
I remember throwin' punches around
And preachin' from my chair

chorus:
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
'Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)"
Who Are You
(My 8th grade history teacher used to sing this to us all the time)

"Out here in the fields
I farm for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland"
Baba O'Riley
(This is one those anthem type songs that you sing/shout with your friends from the back of a convertible.)

"No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you!

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

And If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
And If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes"
Behind blue eyes
(Somewhere the 19 year-old version of me still listens intently to this song)

The Chanukah Song

Stupid Toilet Tricks

For those of you who enjoy potty humor I present the Toilet Monster and accompanying pottytoys.

What items does that list include? I am glad you asked they include such favorites as:

The Turd Twister

Revenge Toilet Paper

Pretty nifty stuff. If those items don't catch your fancy you might try:

Screw You Santa Or Obnoxious Garden Gnomes.

Digital Photography Thoughts

A little free association for you.

I have been lucky enough to own a digital camera for the past four, maybe five years or so. The days of dealing with 110, 126 and 35mm are fading fast. Ok, upon occasion I still use my 35mm. It takes nice photos and there are some advantages to using it.

I have two digital cameras. They are both made by Sony. One is a 3.2 pixel model and the other is 6.0. I remember being really pleased by the older model. It made me feel like a kid in a candy shop. There were so many cool things to do with it.

I especially loved having the ability to delete bad shots. No longer would I have wasted film. The old trick of throwing out the bad photos was no longer needed.

Over time my love for the camera waned a bit. We grew apart, our interests didn't mesh in the same way anymore. You see the camera was a bit like the turtle I blogged about earlier.

It moved slowly. It wasn't interested in trying to keep up with precocious children. It refused to snap the photos as fast I wanted it to. My photos began to look like some weird avant-garde artist's collection. There were lots of pictures of the backs and sides of children. The same children who moments before were in the full frame.

All it had to do was move a bit faster. We could have made it work. Snap the photos more quickly. I begged, please little camera just click while the kids are facing you. But it just refused so I had to go out and grab a replacement.

The new guy has been around for several months. He is better about keeping up and he takes nice shots, but there is a problem with him too. The new guy has a 1 gig memory stick.

Now I have to work hard to keep up with him. If I am not careful he'll hold onto 1,202,987 pictures. Do you know what a pain-in-the-ass it is to try and review all of those shots. Let me tell you, it is not easy.

Every week I have to make time to sit down and upload the photos to the computer. Every week I have to take my time to sift through the shots and make sure that I keep the good and get rid of the bad.

I wish that I could say that I always keep my appointments with the little master, but sometimes circumstances have prevented me from doing so. It is a mess.

Oy.

A Few Things That Captured My Interest

Killer elephant named after Osama slain

GAUHATI, India - A killer elephant named after
Osama bin Laden by fearful villagers was killed by sharpshooters, officials said Sunday. The animal was blamed for 14 deaths in the northeastern state of Assam.

.....In the past five years, more than 250 people have been killed in Assam by elephants, while angry villagers killed 268 elephants during the same period, officials said.

Jumbo loses to man again.

Haveil Havalim is Up

"Professor," I asked, cautiously, "are we looking for some particular manuscript?"

He didn't answer right away. Eventually he said, seemingly to himself, "Oh anything. There is one thing ... but, no, anything."

"One thing?" I pressed.

He finally looked back at me. "Well, I have some rough evidence that the 98th book of Havel Havalim is supposed to be in this area. But perhaps that's all part of this seemingly elaborate joke!"

"Havel Havalim? What's that?" asked Julie, saving me from having to do so."

Life is a game, is it not.

All but Ageless, Turtles Face Their Biggest Threat: Humans

"Dr. Christopher J. Raxworthy, the associate curator of herpetology at the American Museum of Natural History, says the liver, lungs and kidneys of a centenarian turtle are virtually indistinguishable from those of its teenage counterpart, a Ponce de Leonic quality that has inspired investigators to begin examining the turtle genome for novel longevity genes.

“Turtles don’t really die of old age,” Dr. Raxworthy said. In fact, if turtles didn’t get eaten, crushed by an automobile or fall prey to a disease, he said, they might just live indefinitely.

Turtles have the power to almost stop the ticking of their personal clock. “Their heart isn’t necessarily stimulated by nerves, and it doesn’t need to beat constantly,” said Dr. George Zug, curator of herpetology at the Smithsonian Institution. “They can turn it on and off essentially at will.”

Slow and steady wins the race.

All Sorts of Cool Information About Early Photography

Click here.

Top 50 Music Videos Of 2006

Click here.

The Business of Swing

"Dec. 15, 2006 — From the outside, the resort looks just like any other along the sun-soaked beaches of Los Cabos, Mexico: pools and bars and volleyball. But before long, it's easy to see signs that this place is different.

In the gift shop, not far from the sun block, were boxes of Viagra.

Outside by the pool were big red beds, draped with wispy curtains. And these beds were not for tanning. It was very quickly clear that at this clothing-optional resort, most enjoyed that option. Nudity was the norm. After all, this was Desire, the second-best-known "swingers" resort on the planet.

Swinging is when husbands and wives, or boyfriends and girlfriends, swap partners with other couples and sleep with people who are not their husbands and wives, or boyfriends or girlfriends. And Desire is just the latest example of entrepreneurs cashing in on what they see as a growing lifestyle and, as a result, a lucrative business opportunity.

Robert McGinley, the 72-year-old founder and CEO of Lifestyles Organization, the world's leading company devoted to "swinging," believes that one specific element makes swingers resorts successful.

"Freedom — freedom of expression, freedom to be what you want to be, freedom to be stark naked nude next to someone, and they don't care," he said.

"They want to be able to, if they're, say, here in the Jacuzzi or in the disco dance, and get turned on by another couple, those two couples want to be able to go someplace like this bed that I'm sitting on right here and take it a step further — sexual exploration."

You can call it wife-swapping, call it creepy — call it what you like, but it appears that the business of swing is booming."

See what happens when you allow mixed dancing. ;)

A Few Thoughts on Symbolism

I stumbled onto a blog that has a post called Symbolism I found interesting.

"What with all the hoo-ha about the Sea-Tac Airport Xmas Tree thang, I thought I'd pose the question: Is a Christmas Tree a religious symbol?

As far as I know, the Christmas Tree's origins are thus: It is a Pagan symbol of a flaming/burning tree (I can't remember off the top of my head the purpose but I know it's Solstice-related - I'm at work so I can't go look it up right now). Like the Yule Log, it was incorporated into Christian traditions when Rome was trying to convert the Pagan peoples of Europe to Christianity - If you guys join us, we'll let you keep your tree and log symbols. See what a nice, inclusive religion this is? Now join up or we'll conquer you. It was a carrot to gain converts. Fair enough, Christianity has always been about marketing and spin (hence the Council of Nicea and the like) in order to gain converts.

On this basis, I believe that the tree is a religious symbol. Either A) It's a religious symbol for the Pagans or B) it's a religious symbol by incorporation (same with eggs at Easter re: Pagan fertility beliefs) for Christians. Christmas Trees are found in Christian churches and Christian homes, and are named for the Christian holiday for which people procure them."

A Few Musings About the Weblog Awards

The 2006 edition of the Weblog awards is just about over with. As always it is fun to participate in it. I usually enjoy the back and forth with the other contestants.

As you can see from this link the Shack placed in the bottom half of my category. I feel good about it. Aside from a couple of posts here I didn't engage in any campaigning. There was no blegging for votes. Unlike some others I didn't try to win by offering endorsements.

It is a fine line to walk. If you are going to participate in a competition you should play to win but at the same time the manner in which you play is important. I tried to straddle that center line as best I could. I wanted to make sure that people knew of my nomination, but at the same time I didn't want to end/begin every post with a plea for a vote.

I wanted to win without engaging in any of that. I am not slamming any of my competition or anyone else for that matter. If you have spent any real time here you'll see that I haven't any compunction about calling someone out. If it irritated me enough I would have certainly done so.

What I like most about the Weblog awards is the opportunity it provides to go out and discover new blogs to read. There are some phenomenal writers and people out there and given the vast number of blogs it always helps to have some sort of guide to follow.

In any case I want to congratulate all of those who participated. I wish you all good luck and hope to see you again next year.

The Latest Dispatch from Daniel Gordis

Daniel Gordis' latest dispatch is called One Day Forgotten Eight Worth Remembering. As with most of his dispatches I thought that it was good. Here are some selections that caught my eye:

"Those were days of broken sieges. Of leaders larger than life. Of courage and resolve in the face of aggression, and savoir-faire in the face of complexity. And now … November 1947 seems like a different country, doesn't it?

Or maybe it's because in 1947 Jews understood that they were going to have to fight for what little territory they had. This country's filled with graves of survivors of Europe's atrocities who were saved from Europe, brought here by boat, and upon disembarking, given a rifle and sent to the front. Lots of them survived, but many didn't. And some were killed before anyone here even knew who they were. So they're buried in cemeteries across the country, un-named, with nothing on their tombstone but the day that they were killed, and in the name of the battle in which they lost their lives.

The late 40's and the early 50's were years in which Israel's borders were notoriously porous, the IDF largely unable to stop the attacks of the Fedayeen. But no one ran. Kibbutzim guarded. And the IDF, still in its infancy, retaliated as best it could. And eventually, the attacks stopped. Because back then, there was no moving us.

Today, when Kassams rain across the border into Sderot and the other town surrounding the Gaza border, the response is muted. A response here, a response there, always aimed at the (largely) innocent Palestinians from whose neighborhoods the Kassams are being fired, and not at the leadership of Hammas in Gaza City who ordered the firing in the first place. So, eventually, tragedies like Beit Hanun will happen, and when they do, and when Israel is the recipient of the world's opprobrium, the IDF silences its canons. And Hamas learns its lesson – there's no cost to shelling Israeli towns that are in undisputed Israeli territory (unless you're Hamas and the whole thing is disputed). Israel has lost its resoluteness.

Israelis are tired of fighting, Hamas has figured out. Time is on Hamas' side. A few more years of this, a bit more of that, and the Israelis will move again. Out of Lebanon. Out of Gaza. Where will they abandon next? Sderot? Ashkelon? This time, they fled Sderot for Eilat for a few days. But for how long, next time? Sure, they'll respond here and there, but the fire in the belly is gone. Just keep it up, they've decided. It's just a matter of time. Is it possible that Ahmadinejad isn't as wacko as we'd like to think when he says that Zionism is almost over?

Remember all the years when Kiryat Shmona was under Katyusha attack from the North? When kibbutzim were attacked from Syria, Jofrdan and Egypt? Who ran? Who fled? Who waited for a Russian billionaire to send them to Eilat for a few days?"

Read the whole thing.

Wolf Blitzer Fights With David Duke

The video is here. You'll see that Duke does a fine job of never answering the questions. What a pathetic excuse of a man.

It boggles the mind that some people actually believe what he says. I hesitated to give this worm any space on my blog, but I think that it is important to expose him for what he is.

Jon Stewart responds to some of this here.

Blogger Issues

Hi Folks,

There seems to be some sort of bug affecting my ability to comment on those blogs that have switched over to the new Beta version.

I am not sure why it is happening, I just know that it is. So if you are wondering why you haven't received any comments from me that is probably the reason.

Or it could be that I just don't like your posts.


Just kidding. ;)

World's tallest man saves China dolphins

"BEIJING - The long arms of the world's tallest man reached in and saved two dolphins by pulling out plastic from their stomachs, state media and an aquarium official said Thursday.

The dolphins got sick after nibbling on plastic from the edge of their pool at an aquarium in Liaoning province. Attempts to use surgical instruments to remove the plastic failed because the dolphins' stomachs contracted in response to the instruments, the China Daily newspaper reported.

Veterinarians then decided to ask for help from Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-9 herdsman from Inner Mongolia with 41.7-inch arms, state media said.

Bao, 54, was confirmed last year by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's tallest living man.

Chen Lujun, the manager of the Royal Jidi Ocean World aquarium, told The Associated Press that the shape of the dolphins' stomachs made it difficult to push an instrument very far in without hurting the animals. People with shorter arms could not reach the plastic, he said."

That is pretty wild.

The Death of a Blog

I noticed that several blogs I read on a semi-regular basis seem to be dying, if not dead. They fall into a couple of categories:

1) Have been deleted and their domains taken over by others.
2) Have not been updated in months.
3) Someone is in the process of deleting posts.

Blogging is a marathon, not a sprint. I think that for some people it is just too hard to continue to maintain their blogs.

All I know is that I was sorry to see some of them go.

The Most Popular Videos/Clips of The Shack

A partial list:

Darth Vader Reports- Death Star Destroyed

The Paradox of Choice and the Secret to Happiness

Japanese Game Show- Silent Torture

It Was a Bad Date

Sometimes I Sing These Songs When I Am Alone

It Is Not Our Attitude That Needs To Change

I recently read an interview with Al-Jazeera Editor-in-Chief Ahmed Sheikh that I found to be very enlightening. I'd like to provide a couple of excerpts:

Mr. Sheikh, as the Editor in Chief of Al-Jazeera, you are one of the most important opinion-makers in the Arab world. What do you call suicide bombers?

For what is happening in Palestine, we never use the expression "suicide bombing."

What do you call it then?

In English, I would describe it as "bombings."

And in Arabic?

Literally translated, we would speak of "commando attacks." In our culture, it is precisely not suicide.

But instead a praiseworthy act?

When the country is occupied and the people are being killed by the enemy, everyone must take action, even if he sacrifices himself in so doing.

Even if in so doing he kills innocent civilians?

That is not a Palestinian problem, but a problem of the Israelis.

I should very much like to see what would happen if Israel truly took a similar attitude. You can bet that the screaming of injustice and the demand for UN Resolutions condemning Israel would be never ending.

You sound bitter.

Yes, I am.

At whom are you angry?

It's not only the lack of democracy in the region that makes me worried. I don't understand why we don't develop as quickly and dynamically as the rest of the world. We have to face the challenge and say: enough is enough! When a President can stay in power for 25 years, like in Egypt, and he is not in a position to implement reforms, we have a problem. Either the man has to change or he has to be replaced. But the society is not dynamic enough to bring about such a change in a peaceful and constructive fashion.

Why not?

In many Arab states, the middle class is disappearing. The rich get richer and the poor get still poorer. Look at the schools in Jordan, Egypt or Morocco: You have up to 70 youngsters crammed together in a single classroom. How can a teacher do his job in such circumstances? The public hospitals are also in a hopeless condition. These are just examples. They show how hopeless the situation is for us in the Middle East.

He admits to being angry. Fine, I don't have a problem with that and I can see why he might be angry. Let's go to the next section about why.

Who is responsible for the situation?

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is one of the most important reasons why these crises and problems continue to simmer. The day when Israel was founded created the basis for our problems. The West should finally come to understand this. Everything would be much calmer if the Palestinians were given their rights.

Do you mean to say that if Israel did not exist, there would suddenly be democracy in Egypt, that the schools in Morocco would be better, that the public clinics in Jordan would function better?

I think so.

As an armchair psychologist allow me to provide my own diagnosis. Learn how to take responsibility for your own actions and life gets to be much easier. Talk about the enfant terrible, this is just pathetic.

I have a terrible time understanding how any self respecting person could accept this type of excuse. What does the situation have to do with Jordan, with Egypt, Morocco etc.

Where Spam Comes From

You Forgot About The Store Cameras

Dance with Reckless Abandon My Friend

AM Radio

My first car had an AM Radio. Knobs and little push buttons kept me in touch with the various stations. Every time I think about it I smile. KRLA- I know that I am not the only one who remembers them.

An Interview With Gilad Shalit's Father

Lisa has an excellent interview with Gilad Shalit's father. You may recall that he was kidnapped by terrorists this past summer. His father is quite interesting.

Click here.

A Few Thoughts About Iran

I have blogged about this on more than one occasion. Just type in "Iran" into the search box and you'll find plenty of my posts concerning this topic. Here are a few of them:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Is Dangerous
Iran- Thoughts From Around the Web
"Holocaust" Cartoon Contest Winner Announced

When I have more time I will revisit this topic. If you are interested in reading some more current thoughts Ozzie has a round up over here.

Tuesday Night Two Step- Posts You Might Not Have Seen

Here is what has been playing at the Shack:

George Lucas Remasters Singing In The Rain

The Ladies Urinal

A Full Metal Christmas

The Weblog Awards & The Shack

Truth Or Fiction

What Do You Like Best About Blogging?

And your blast from the past posts:

Cheap Sunglasses

Groucho Marx

George Lucas Remasters Singing In The Rain

The Ladies Urinal

I don't know where to begin with this one.

A Full Metal Christmas

The Weblog Awards & The Shack

I just surfed over to check on the results of the Weblog awards. The Shack is getting hammered.

Whoa, just experienced some major Deja Vu. Oops, that is not really the word I want to use. Suffice it to say that I went to school with a guy who adored Rickey Henderson.

He, like Rickey had a proclivity for referring to himself in the third person. Anyway, I managed to remind myself about an experience that I once had with him.

So here is what I really meant to say. I am losing...Badly.

Part of me doesn't care at all. I blogged before the awards and I'll keep blogging after. I don't need the validation. But that doesn't mean that my fragile male ego doesn't want more. And the reality is that I am pretty competitive. It is not easy to see the Empire get smacked around.

So here is what I propose to do about this. If you are new to the blog I recommend that you take a few moments to look around. I have more than 4,000 posts so you might want to look at the drop down menus on the right side of the page. They have links to some of the stuff that I think was pretty good.

If you have the time and wherewithal feel free to peruse the archives. Not all of the good stuff is linked in the drop down menus, there are a few nuggets to be found.

Beyond that all I can ask is that you give me your vote. I could give you a list of reasons why. I could try to campaign for it, but why waste your time. Just vote for me here. You won't get anything out of it. No tax reduction, no cushy government job, no fancy slogan, not even a car.

Instead I offer you this quote from Bill Murray's character in Caddyshack:

"Carl Spackler: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald. striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga gunga - gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Dr. Seuss Revisited

I first blogged about Dr. Seuss and his political cartoons here. Thought that it might be interesting to look at them again.

To see more look here.

Truth Or Fiction

Just for fun I thought that I'd create a list of things/experiences that I may or may not have done. It is an interactive exercise. If you wish to participate your job is to identify which things I have really done and which I have not.

Ready? Here we go:

1. I used to do 700 push ups each night.
   
2. Climbed Mt. McKinley.
3. Proposed marriage on top of the Eiffel Tower.
4. Appeared on a Game Show.
5. Won the lottery.
6. Joined the Marines.
7. Been hit by a car.
8. Gone River rafting down the Amazon.
9. Played bass in a garage band.
10. Was a member of three Safaris.
11. Won the Pacific Coast Showmens League scholarship four years running.
12. Placed 212th in 1990 Heisman balloting.
13. Successfully drank a gallon of beer at one sitting.
14. Lived in cleveland for three weeks and survived.
15. Benchpressed 330 pounds.
16. I can bark like a dog.
17. Tore the doors off a pickup truck.
18. Was employed as a waiter.
19. Was employed as a teacher.
20. Was employed as a professional clown.
21. Took 3rd place in the International Festival of Blind Polka Dancers.

I Went Fishing

I recently went on a fishing trip. I did pretty well for myself, but I am still disappointed about the one that got away.

Fortunately my buddy snapped a picture of the mighty beast so that you might see the greatest trophy fish I never caught.

Pretty majestic looking. Sigh.

The Superfriends Have Changed

For those of a certain age you'll remember watching the Superfriends as seen in the next video.

Now here is a more updated version. Things have changed a bit.

Are You Afraid of Heights?

Click here.

What Do You Like Best About Blogging?

What do you like best about blogging? The floor is open.

Giving Hitler Hell Revisited

I first blogged about this incredible story around 18 months ago. If you haven't had the time to read it I strongly urge you to check it out. Here is an excerpt.

"The highest-ranking Nazi who was still on the loose was Bormann," says Weiss. Martin Bormann, the Brown Eminence, had been the Nazi Party secretary and Hitler's gatekeeper. He had controlled access to the Fuhrer. If anyone knew what had happened to Hitler, it was Bormann. "I remembered vaguely that his adjutant was from Munich."

Conversations With a Six Year Old

Playing on iTunes: Blue October: Hate Me

And now for your reading pleasure allow me to share with you some of the conversations my son and I had this week. We'll start with the serious one.

Son: Dad, what happens if I get tooken?
Dad: What do you mean by tooken?

Son: Bad guys might steal me and then I'll get tooken.
Me: No one is going to take you.

Son: But what if they did.
Me: Your mother and I will never let that happen. If anyone tried to take you I'd hurt them. I'd punch them in the nose, kick them in the butt and throw them down the stairs.

Son: But then you'll go to jail.
Me: That wouldn't happen. The police know that I am a good guy.

Playing on iTunes: Concrete Blonde: Joey

I don't like lying to my children. I try to make a practice of never doing it, but there are some things that they do not need to know or at least worry about. I don't want him to ever worry about me going to jail, at least not for something like this.

Now you and I both know that life in the real world can be complicated. G-d forbid I ever face this situation. Who knows what could happen. Thankfully the odds are against this which is part of why I was willing to lie to him, or at least stretch the truth. No need for him to worry about me going to jail.

The issue here that troubles me most is the loss of innocence. I am sad that he has to worry about bad people. It hurts me to scare him, but I need for him to have a little fear of strangers. He needs to think about who he encounters. He needs to know that not everyone is nice. It is a terrible thing and very challenging.

It is hard to maintain a balance. I don't want him to be afraid of everyone. He shouldn't fear everyone, the world is full of good people. But at the same time...

Ok, on to the next conversation. The setting for this is the mall.

Playing on iTunes: Clint Mansell: Lux Aeterna

Son: Dad, Santa Claus is fake. Right?
Me: Yes. he is fake.

Son: That means that Xmas is fake too.
Me: It is not something that we believe in.

Son: They are lying to us. They lied about Santa Claus and they are lying about Xmas. It is all fake.
Me: People are entitled to believe what they want. You don't have to agree with it.

Son: So it is ok to lie?
Me: No, it is not.

Son: But why did you say it is ok for them.
Me: How would you feel if someone said that Chanukah was fake.

Son: I'd be so angry.
Me: Well they might get angry if they heard you say Santa was fake.

Son: Ok, I won't say anything.
Me: That is a good idea. We can keep this to ourselves.

Moments later we pass the North Pole section of the mall. As we wander by the friendly elf asks the little boy if he wants to sit on Santa's lap and take a picture.

"My daddy says that I am not supposed to tell you that Santa is fake and that you are all lying."

And that led to yet another conversation. I'll save that for a different day.

Haveil Havalim:Number 97 A Sunday Special

Friends, Romans and Countrymen. Lend Me Your Ears. I don't know about you, but ever since I saw that Our Gang special I have wanted to say that.

It is entirely likely that this may be updated a couple of times through out the day. If you like HH we strongly urge you to place a link promoting it on your own blog.

One more thing in the category of shameless self promotion for the J-blogosphere. Treppenwitz, Elder of Ziyon, Dry Bones and my blog are all up for a Weblog award. Please go and vote for one of us.

You can find the voting for Treppenwitz and EOZ here, Dry Bones over here and the Shack here.

Update:

Town Crier, is also a finalist.

We thank you for your support.

And now on with the show.

Judaism

Its Almost Supernatural presents SA Jewish Board Speaks Out.

Reflections of a Rabbi's Wife has a post about what can happen during a Rabbi's Shower. Over at Beyond BT Shoshana told her story.

There is a Chanukah carnival going on. Click here. How about some Bar Mitzvah thoughts.
Dov Bear explains who Timna was.

Chiddush in Our “Beis Medrash” is the title of Yaakov Rosenblatt's column. Rafi G presents vandalism for halachic reasons posted at Life in Israel.

Cross Currents also has a post about Nancy Pelosi's father and The Shoah.

Life of Rubin found that Wal-Mart has all sorts of Interesting Pictures for sale. Conservajew says Chappy Chanukkah Charlie Brownowitz!

Back at Beyond BT there was an interesting post about Being Stuck In The Middle. It really can be applied in many ways. Ask Elster about Machlokes.

Dag asks Who is the big fish in the Kolko case?

Mental Blog has a video of the Big Debate. Some people may live On the Fringe, but they still have important questions to be answered.

Harry Chapin dealt with 30,000 pounds of bananas, but could he handle 1000 Latkes.

Sheyna Galyan presents Lifeline posted at Books and Beliefs. Irina presents Keeping a Low Profile. posted at The IgNoble Experiment, a.k.a. Live Dangerously!.

A Simple Jew presents Tikkunim For Cremation?

Reb Chaim HaQoton presents Eating the Nerve. Dag presents NY Board of health: Metziza Bpeh OK , Trans fat, banned

Elie presents The Tefilos, They Are A'Changing. Muse presents a good tired, thank G-d!. Elisson offered some insight into a Chanukah tradition.

Jerusalem Joe presents Do Feminist Hate Their Children? posted at The Israeli Tikkun Blog, saying, "some thoughts on a new law in the making that will make daycare tax-deductible in israel.

Politics

Many bloggers are speaking about Iran Meryl hears Echoes of 1938. Some people should read about Sardari's List. Denial is not a river in Egypt. My Right Word says No Assurance.

Can you imagine a Middle East Peace Conference in which Israel is not invited. At the Judeosphere you can learn about the Perspectives of An Emerging Leader.

Boker Tov Boulder discussed The ripple effect ... of Walt & Mearsheimer.

Ozymandias says that Oil Fuels The Terrorists. And now for a personal perspective on Abortion.

Jimmy Carter finally had someone say it to his face. And now Smooth shows that Jimmy Carter's Book Criticized.

Powerline dealt with this too: Errors, omissions, inventions and falsehoods. At Israpundit you can find The Baker Scam..How Jewish people must answer.

Yitzchak Goodman presents IRNA: "Mojtahedzadeh: Zionists, US neo-conservatives plan to divide Iran".

Jewish Blogmeister presents Turkey film pulled out of US for Anti-Semitism.. posted at Jewish Blogmeister. Gail says It is No Surprise. Did the Democrats meet with Hamas?

Freedom of Speech is being tested again The Colossus has the story: College Republicans in trouble for stomping on flag as well a piece about the Palestinian electorate.

What would John Lennon say/do. Seraphic Secret offers Anti-Semitism, Hollywood Style.
Forget Islamophobia--What About Kafirophobia!

Israel

Treppenwitz asks Playing our role again? A recent article at Ha'aretz gave In Context Pause. Elder of Ziyon says that Israel has a Massive PR Failure. Sometimes the chorus surprises you.

Meryl Yourish blogged about a blood libel that is being spread by Palestinian Christians. The Jewish Leadership Blog of Manhigut Yehudit presented Is There An Arab Dictator Nearby Whose Butt I Can Kiss?

bec presents what you should probably not write on your aliyah application... posted at lost in bec's world. Carl in Jerusalem presents More on the Intelligence and Terrorism Information Center report.

Jameel provided a post on A Settler's Olive Tree. Are you Slightly Mad or is there Panic on the Streets of Israel. Rafi G presents Jerusalem the melting pot posted at Life in Israel.

Danny Simkin presents Zionism is not fascism, but could be posted at Samson Blinded. Carl in Jerusalem presents Tell it to Karnit, you moron!.

Rafi G presents soqotd (Stupid Olmert Quote Of The Day) posted at Life in Israel. This sort of Family Affair is just disheartening. Soccer Dad covered the Muslim Charade.

OlehGirl has an opinion About Crocs. The American Thinker says it is In Their Genes.

SnoopyTheGoon presents Good security, an exercise in rudeness or something completely different? and Naughty boy Mahmoud .

Mottel presents The Missing Descendant of the Alter Rebbe posted at Letters of Thought.

Capitulation to terrorism is the title of a post at Israpundit. At Rantings of a Sand Monkey there is a post about Arab Self Esteem as it relates to Israel.

Josh Yuter presents For Crying Out Loud Sammy Benoit presents Is this the Turning Point for The Destruction of Israel ? posted at YID With LID.

Gail presents Wish Her Strength . Read about Hamas' Favorite Terrorists.

Is this the Turning Point for The Destruction of Israel ? posted at YID With LID.

Have you ever seen A Beautiful Sharpshooter. Daled Amos blogged about the kidnapped soldiers: Kidnapped Soldiers Suffered Critical Injuries

Atlas Shrugs covered the establishment of an Israeli-Sudanese fellowship association by a Sudanese human rights activist named Taraji Mustafa.

Miscellaneous

A Baleboosteh blogged about the stress of surgery for one of her children. The official artist of Haveil Havalim is still producing fractals. Jewish Blogmeister interviewed The Bagel Blogger.

Mark James presents Whether Moon-gods Were The High-gods In South Arabian Religions posted at Yoel Natan.

Shiloh Musings has a new image. That must have happened before she posted this. You'd think that in a place like the West Bank there would be some serious fears. In this case it is nothing more than Fraction Phobia.

MoChassid is telling CD Stories. Sometimes you just feel like dancing. That is why you need Chassidisco Fever.

Do you have Chai Expectations? What would you say if you had to deal with this. The Chick With the Knives Finds Out I Have a Blog. Have you ever been to a Jamaican-Jewish Wedding. Irina presents Ahi posted at The IgNoble Experiment, a.k.a. Live Dangerously!.

Have ever encountered Rockin' Moroccans. Sarah presents Sunny Celebration posted at ~ Sarah's View ~. Jerusalem Joe asks Do Feminists Hate Their Children?
Jewish Blogmeister presents Getting Ready for the Next Jblogger victim Interview! posted at Jewish Blogmeister.

The Shmata Queen wants to know what happened to her, aside from being stuck in cleveland. Watch out there is A Brain On The Loose. It is Muslim Brotherhood week.

DaBoys Have Cartoon Lust. Gail says I Love the Internet. Shifra is making Promises. Sometimes you just have to ASK MR. DEBONAIR.

End notes:

That concludes this edition of Haveil Havalim. As always special thanks to Soccer Dad for starting and maintaining this.

The next host of HH is Yehuda. Send your submissions here.

haveil havalim, blog carnival, Israel, Judaism.

The Burger King Scares Me

Hat Tip to The Naked Nerd

Your Evening Dose of Daler Mehndi

This Music Just Does It For Me

The first link just fills me full of energy. What a charge. But then again the second one is quite nice as well. It doesn't have the same strength as the first, but I enjoy it nonetheless.

If you are one of the 17 readers of this blog you know that I love music. I continually write about it. I am willing to bet that out of more than 4,000 posts it is mentioned in more than a third of them.

Music touches me on so many levels. I have a hard time expressing my innermost thoughts. I rarely feel as if I have done as good a job communicating them as I want to. It is a bit frustrating. Maybe that is why some people think of me as being so stoic.

Anyway, just for kicks I tried to dig out some of the posts in which I touched upon music. Here is a random sampling that you can look at.

80's Music- Includes videos by Alphaville, Bette Midler and Big Country.

Music I listened To this Evening-Includes songs by Metallica, Johnny Cash, Asia, Black Sabbath, and The Three Tenors.

Sail Around The World- Wanderlust, wanderlust, wanderlust.

What Are Your Favorite Song Lyrics?- Want to see a partial list of mine, just click here.

Clannad- Love this stuff.

Remember When- Makes me smile

The Incomplete Soundtrack for Fragments of Fiction- One day I'll finish writing this story.

This Song Just Gets to Me- What a song. Great story to go with it. If this song doesn't touch you......

I Have Been Attacked By a Bubblehead

In an earlier post I mentioned that I am a finalist for the Weblog awards. I am rather dubious about awards like this because they have a knack for creating unnecessary dissension.

This morning I see that the first salvo was fired across my bow by the old bubblehead. It seems that he thinks that I am a drunk and suicidal Santa Claus. Now that is just grating on my nerves. I am neither drunk nor suicidal.

I have mulled over the proper response to such. Do I let him know that I am a true holy man. I am Jack, The Bishop of Bullfrog.

Should I explain to him about the origin of this. Shola Rhodes learned all about my affiliation with Holy Croaker circle.

Or perhaps I should reveal that final words of the talking penis man from this story were "Dive, Dive, Dive."

Anyhoo, I haven't had a cup of coffee yet and I learned long ago that questions like this require my caffeine drip.

P.S. I found this little ditty on his blog. Emphasis in bold is mine.

Keeping the blogosphere posted on the goings on of the world of submarines since late 2004... and mocking and belittling general foolishness wherever it may be found. Idaho's first and foremost submarine blog.

Now I am not a sailor nor am I a cartographer, but I do know that Idaho is nowhere near salt water and that most submariners prefer the ocean to their bathtub. But hey, that is just me. ;)

This Evening, or Should I Say Thursday Evening

Went to a big holiday party at a club in Hollywood this evening. I haven't been out to a club in years. It could easily be ten or twelve, I just don't remember.

The party was a lot of fun. The host is a big, or should I say huge Star Wars fan. The place was populated with all sorts of Star Wars characters. I don't know who was playing Darth Vader and Chewbacca, but these men were quite tall. I am 5'10 and I only came up to their shoulders.

There were a bunch of guys dressed up as storm troopers, Boba Fett and all sorts of other characters.

In addition they had an '80s theme so there were all these bands from my high school days. The English Beat played two sets. Save it For Later and Tears of a Clown brought back some good memories.

There is something special about live music, especially when you have a crowd that is into it. And tonight people just let loose. I am not a huge fan of crowds, but I did have a good time wading out onto the dance floor and just moving with the masses.

And now here I sit hours later. I smell like smoke and my clothes are soaked in sweat and the beer that the nice drunk storm trooper spilled on me. I am just trying to unwind so that I can go to sleep.

Since becoming a father I have had more than one night in which I got less than three hours of sleep so tonight won't be anything special. Ok, that is not entirely true. This is the first time in years that I went out on a school night and engaged in a little carousing.

A couple of beers, some party food and dancing. Maybe you can turn the clock back. I have to say that at the moment I feel like I am 25 again.

Twenty-five. It feels like it was yesterday, in fact in my mind's eye I still see the 19 year-old kid I used to be. The problem is that the guy I see in the mirror doesn't look like that 19 year-old anymore. Sure, there is a very strong resemblance. The body is a little thicker here and there and there are a few lines in my face that never used to be there before. Ok, there is a little less hair and a couple of other things but aside from that.........

There is more to say and much more that could be said, but this 25 year old is going to try and count some sheep.

Lailah tov from LA.

The Weblog Awards

Hi folks. I am a finalist in the 2006 Weblog awards in the Best of the Top 2501 - 3500 Blogs category.

I can't say that I am all that familiar with the competition, but those that I have looked at appear to be good.

If you are interested in voting you can do so here.

Pearl Harbor - One Final Gathering

"PEARL HARBOR, Hawaii (AP) -- Nearly 500 survivors of the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor will honor those who died 65 years ago with a moment of silence and a wreath laying ceremony on the anniversary of the assault Thursday.

Many veterans are treating the gathering as their last, uncertain they will still be alive, or healthy enough, to travel to Hawaii for the 70th anniversary.

"Sixty-five years later, there's not too many of us left," said Don Stratton, a seaman 1st class aboard the USS Arizona on December 7, 1941. "In another five years I'll be 89. The good Lord willing, I might be able to make it. If so, I'll probably be here. I might not even be around. Who knows. Only the good Lord knows."

Survivors, family members and others gathered for the commemoration will observe a moment of silence at 7:55 a.m., the minute planes began bombing Pearl Harbor 65 years ago.

A priest will give a Hawaiian blessing and Marines will perform a rifle salute.

Former NBC Nightly News anchor Tom Brokaw, whose book "The Greatest Generation" profiles those who came of age during the Great Depression and World War II, is scheduled to deliver the keynote address.

Stratton and other survivors will later board a boat to the white memorial straddling the sunken hull of the Arizona, where they will lay wreaths and lei in honor of the dead.

The Arizona sank in less than nine minutes after a 1,760-pound armor-piercing bomb struck the battleship's deck and hit its ammunition magazine, igniting flames that engulfed the ship.

More people died on the Arizona than any other ship as 1,177 servicemen, or about 80 percent of its crew, perished.

Altogether, the surprise attack killed 2,390 Americans and injured 1,178."

And another generation heads into the sunset. Much gratitude for their sacrifices and their courage.

Rocky Balboa- My confession

Confession of the morning. I have to go see the new Rocky movie. I watched the trailer this morning and it just got me going.

I suspect that if you are of a certain age, especially if you were a boy/teenager in the 70s-80s time frame you are going to have a certain reaction to hearing the theme. Gonna Fly Now starts playing and you start looking for the punching bag, it is always in my workout rotation.

How many of you have been to Philadelphia and run the steps. I know that I am not the only one who has done it, there must have been a half dozen other guys who just did it with me. I remember the day. It was a good four years or so ago.

There they were, the steps beckoning to me and then suddenly I was off and running. I could hear the guys on other side of me. It was spontaneous, impromptu running, but we just did it. Up the steps we flew hands above our heads triumphantly.

And then it was over and we were just a few average Joes with a sheepish grin across our face.

FWIW, Eye of the Tiger (the link is to the 80's vide0) is on the workout rotation as well. It is another song that gets the blood pumping. It doesn't have the same affect upon me as Gonna Fly Now, but it is close.

The truth is that I dig this kind of stuff. I love testing myself. I love that test of wills. Who wants it more. Who is willing to dig, to take the punishment to win.

Cliche or not, there is truth to old saw 'No Pain, No Gain."

You'll have to excuse me now. I have a heavy bag that I still use. I need to go pound it for a few moments.

Bibi on Bill Maher

Hat Tip to Allison

If Mary Poppins Were A Horror Flick

Frum Sex & The Internet

'Horny haredim provide endless fodder for secular Jews playing the “See, you’re not so holy!” game. After all, if the pious can’t live up to their own rules, then maybe those of us who prefer Henry Miller and absinthe to the Talmud and Manischewitz aren’t so debased. Rumors abound: A former girlfriend of mine who worked the phones at a brothel in Manhattan’s Diamond District claimed that half the customers donning rubbers had been wearing tefillin earlier that day. Certain street corners in Brooklyn are said to host encounters between hookers and the local Satmar Hasids. And Serena Noir, a Manhattan dominatrix, will tell you that Orthodox Jews make up a significant portion of her clientele."

Want to read more. Click here for the full story.

They Might Need Marriage Counseling

For those of you who found the Horsing Around story to be of interest comes this little ditty.

TACOMA, Wash. — A Spanaway man believed to be the first person in the state charged under Washington's new bestiality law bailed out of the Pierce County Jail this morning.

Pierce County prosecutors say 26-year-old Michael Patrick McPhail was caught by his wife on Wednesday night having intercourse on the back porch with their four-year-old female pit bull terrier.

The wife took photos with a cell phone and called police.

Pierce County sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer says "There's pretty clear proof what happened to this dog."

A Lack of Common Sense

NASHVILLE, Tenn. Dec 6, 2006 (AP)— An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.

The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.

The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.

You know, I feel for this woman. As someone who has a dysfunctional digestive system I have shared my own thoughts with the world on more than one occasion. But that is the beauty of a plane, you share all sorts of interesting things with everyone around you.

And obviously I have been on the other side of the fence. It is just great being stuck in a tin can with someone whose intent on assaulting your entire olfactory system.

But in the end you have got to have enough common sense not to light a freaking match on a plane.

Flashback Post

And here is a sample of some old stuff that you might not have seen the first time around.

Actors From The 80s
Do you Have Blog Envy?
Passwords, Passwords, Passwords
Why I Blog
My Daughter's Favorite Book
Charlie's Angels- Child of the '70s

Do You Remember Alfalfa?

How many of you remember Alfalfa? You know, the kid from the Our Gang Show.

Well I learned a little something about Old Alfie that I didn't know. Apparently he was another child star who had a few issues. This is a link to a story about him. It was kind of interesting.

Here is a short excerpt:

Tommy "Butch" Bond, young

According to Tommy Bond (Butch), he hung out with Switzer on a regular basis for many years.

"He had a violent temper," Bond said. "But if he liked you, he loved you, and if he disliked you, he really hated you. Alfie and I were very close. I could calm him down when he blew up." Regarding his death, however, Bond had this to say about his old friend: "I believe, like his family did, that he was unarmed. He never carried weapons. He would use his fists, because he was an old country boy, but even when we went coon hunting, I never knew him to carry a weapon."

George "Spanky" McFarland

George McFarland (Spanky), had little to say, but did feel that Switzer's problems were a result of his upbringing. "Alfalfa just didn't have any direction from his parents," McFarland said. "They were not educated people, and he really didn't have a strong understanding of right and wrong."

Darla Hood, young

During a 1978 interview, Darla Hood said Switzer was fun to be around, but also expressed feeling a sense of uneasiness whenever in his presence. "You never knew what stunt he might pull," she said. "He was mischievous, and sometimes I was afraid of him. You couldn't control him."

Perhaps one of the more telling interviews was one given by Robert Blake (Mickey):

"One time on the set," Blake recalled, "Alfie was fooling around, and the cameraman got mad at him. 'Come on kid,' he barked, 'let's get this scene so we can go to lunch.' The guy was insensitive about it. Alfie simmered. Okay, you could see Alfie was going to fix him. During lunch he grabbed all the gum he could carry, made us chew it up, and then he wadded it into the size of a softball, opened the camera, and jammed it inside the lens, down into the sprockets and gears, just everywhere. No one worked that afternoon, except the cameraman.

"The next time it was an arrogant director harping on him. Alfalfa urinated on the lights. They had to open the doors of the stage and run the big fans through there the rest of the day to get the smell out. He could be a devil."

While most of Switzer's former cast members had their own mischievous stories to relate about him, none felt he deserved to die and the majority doubted he would have pulled a knife on anyone."

How Far Would You Go To Save a Life

It is a serious question. How far would you go to save someones life. What are you willing to do? If someone you knew was engaging in dangerous behavior what would you do to try and change it.

Let's change the scenario. Imagine that someone you know has serious health issues. Imagine that they are not doing a good job of taking care of them and that by doing this they are compromising their health.

Imagine that in spite of your best efforts to help them they still continue to engage in this harmful behavior. It is not illegal. It is not dangerous to anyone other than themselves. But still because you love them dearly the pain of watching them dance upon the head of a pin is insufferable.

Do you rationalize it all and say that unless they want to change it just doesn't matter. Or do you do everything you can think of; beg, plead, scream, berate, bully and discuss in the hope that something you say will have an impact.

If you try and fail will there be consequences that you cannot live with. Or would you be more afraid of what happened if you didn't try.

My Best Writing Is About...

I very much enjoy writing. I find it to be one of my favorite outlets. If I had to list my favorite ways to reduce my stress level it would be within the top five. I spend quite a bit of time thinking about it, considering how to improve and become a better writer.

If I was smart I'd follow Avrech's advice: Rule #5: Writing is Rewriting. I don't like rewriting. I prefer not to do it and since this is a blog I take advantage of it and more often than not I choose not to rewrite.

Part of that is because of the sheer honesty of the writing. Here in the blog I often put down those things that I would rather not share. I expose my darkest fears and deepest desires. Sometime it is easier to pretend that I never shared them than to revisit them.

But that is not the only reason I avoid it. Part of it is because I am highly critical of my work. I tend to dislike most of the things I write. There is always a better way of expressing my thoughts. There is always a more eloquent combination of words. Sometimes I get so caught up with trying to find the perfect combination I find that I haven't produced enough content to satisfy myself.

So here at the Shack I give myself a break and just let loose. It is for the best and in the end I think that I am happier for it.

That leads me back to the title of the post and the topic of recent musing, what do I think my best writing is about. That is, do I do better when I write about specific topics.

For now my answer is that I really prefer to just ramble on. I am good at it. I rather enjoy just prattling on about this and that. You start out one place and just let the road lead you wherever it may.

How many people are thinking about Whitman's poem about The Road Not Taken? Go on, raise your hand, it is ok.

Ok, I'd write more but I am supporting 17 different blogs and I need to come up with something new on a different one. See you all later.

Why I Still Don't Like the JIBs

In the 2.5 years or so that I have been blogging the Jblogosphere has grown exponentially. Once upon a time it felt quite small to me. Ok, not small but more intimate than it feels now. There were a good 25 blogs or so on my blogroll that in my mind were the core of the Jblogging universe.

Some of them were big bloggers, some were new bloggers and some were in between. What the hell did I know, I was just another voice in cyberspace talking about this and that.

When Aussie Dave pioneered the JIBs the first time around I was pretty gung ho about it. As my grandfather would say, that is emes (Truth). But that changed pretty rapidly. Mainly I was turned off by the behavior of some bloggers.

By the second year I grew even more disillusioned with them. I won't lie and say that I didn't have any interest in winning. I readily admit that I would have been pleased with a victory, but I also refused to engage in any of the campaigning. It just irked me.

Enough of the walk down memory lane. If you want to catch up you can read the following posts:

Relax With the JIBs
Why Do You Blog? More about the JIBs
The JIBs- What I find Distasteful

Ok, clearly they made for good blog material, but I digress.

This year Dave is understandably avoiding playing daddy and I can't blame him. The antics and games of the last few years must have gotten old quite quickly. It appears now that a small start-up has agreed to take on the task of trying to sail the ship. Although from what I saw it appears that they are already foundering.

Why reinvent the wheel. I don't get it. There is an existing model that could be followed.

Anyhoo, I'll save some of my comments for later. For now let's move forward and discuss something else.

One of the reasons for the formation of the JIBs was to help promote the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere. It remains an excellent idea. But for my money I prefer Haveil Havalim.

And it just so happens that I am hosting the 97th edition. As a side note I have had the pleasure of hosting it a few times before:

Haveil Havalim #30
Haveil Havalim #43
Haveil Havalim #54 Big and Beautiful
Haveil Havalim #61- Call Me Roger Maris
Haveil Havalim #72- Handed Down From the Mountaintop

If you are good in math you'll notice something special about those. That is for all you reformed clevelanders. ;)

I am currently soliciting for posts for this coming week. Send them in and I'll see that they are included.

Which Wolf do you Feed?

Click here.

Haveil Havalim #96 is Live

Soccer Dad has it.

A Round Up of Recent Posts

In case you have been out here is a round up of the recent 'ritings here.

And Then He Died

The Paradox of Choice and the Secret to Happiness

Watch That Last Step

Sexual Consent Video and Form

The Wild Animal of Israel

A Movie About Horsing Around

I Hate The Holiday Season

Is This The End of The Wiggles

Help a Brother Out- A Request For All Who Read This

A Few Random Thoughts about Life and Blogging

And now for your reading pleasure here are some older posts you might want to check out:

Teaching Children To Lose Gracefully

Children

Some Things I'll Teach My Children

My Son Speaks to G-d But He Doesn't Answer

And Then He Died

I suppose that you could say that at times I am kind of a morbid fellow. I know too many people who have died at ages that most people would say were "far too young." The causes of their deaths is varied. Some had a terminal illness, some had massive heart attacks, others were killed by drunk drivers.

As I sit here typing it occurs to me that my perspective has changed about age. Some of them were less than 20, others were between 50 and 65. In my younger years I would have termed those in the 50-65 range as being old. Now I can no longer do that.

At the tender age of my late 30s I can see how I am going to blink and find myself the parent of teenage children and in another blink I could very well be a grandfather. Perception changes as you age, doesn't it.

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without me. I mull over what would happen. It is part of why I have life insurance. I wonder what lessons the kids would take with them. They are still so young. There is the financial insurance and then there is the spiritual insurance.

That is part of why I share A Secret For My Children with them so frequently as well as why I love to bless them. I want them to never forget their father's love for them.

We all carry our own luggage, the burdens of the past. I know from personal experience the pain and frustration of not having the opportunity to share last words with loved ones. My mother and I recently had a long conversation about this as one of her friends recently passed away.

It was sudden and unexpected. One moment he was speaking to his wife and the next he was gone. It could happen to me. My last words could be "clean up your mess" or "where the bleep did you learn how to drive." Who knows.

Needless to say my mother was upset. But as I told my mother you are in big trouble if after a lifetime together you don't know in your heart that your spouse loved you. Sometimes things happen and you just have to have the intestinal fortitude to go on living.

It is not nice, but it is real. Life is what we make of it.

The Paradox of Choice and the Secret to Happiness

I very much enjoyed this lecture by Professor Barry Schwartz.

Watch That Last Step

Sexual Consent Video and Form

Ok, the video was a joke. But if someone handed me a form like this I think that I would run like hell.

The Wild Animal of Israel

Hat Tip to Israeli.

A Movie About Horsing Around

Sundance picks Seattle film on horse-sex case

The Sundance Film Festival announced Wednesday that Seattle filmmaker Robinson Devor's documentary "Zoo" has been accepted into the 2007 festival's documentary competition. The film examines the widely reported case of an Enumclaw man who died in 2005 after having sex with a horse.

"Zoo" is one of 16 documentaries selected for competition (out of 856 submitted), all of which will screen as world premieres. Devor has had two previous films at Sundance: the made-in-Seattle drama "Police Beat," and "The Woman Chaser."

The Sundance Film Festival will take place Jan. 18-28 in Park City, Utah.

I think that I'll skip this one.