November 30, 2006

I Hate The Holiday Season

Yes that is right. I hate the holiday season.
  • I hate being told to be of good cheer.
  • I hate reading about the fake war on Xmas.
  • I hate being assaulted by all of the crass commercialism.
  • I hate being told that we should be nicer now than during the rest of the year.
  • I hate emails that are blindly sent out without regard for whether the message is of interest to all of the recipients.
  • I hate all of the stupid decorations. Gaudy is not cool and I don't care if they are Jewish or Xtian. I dislike them all.
  • I hate fighting crowds at the mall.
  • I hate reading about knuckleheads shooting each other over a video game system.
  • I hate the stupid elves that try and get my children to take a picture on Santa's lap. Don't they know that I wished Death upon Santa.
  • I hate knowing that my cousin the Grinch rolled over and gave in.
  • I hate most Elmo toys. That little red fiend's voice grates on my nerves.
  • I hate all of these stupid battery operated toys that beep, squawk and whistle. The next person who gives my kids one of those toys is going to wake up to the sound of a marching band outside their home.
  • I hate the stupid holiday music. If I could I'd kick that little drummer boy right in the ass. And that kid who made that dreidel out of clay can bite me too. What the hell is up with a clay dreidel, the best are made out of wood.
  • I hate fake snow. I don't like the real stuff, but the fake crap is even worse. I live in California for a reason. If you need snow to feel like you are a part of the season get the hell out of here. There is too much traffic anyway.
  • I hate, I hate, I hate.
Phew. I feel better now.

37 comments:

bornfool said...

Sadly, I agree with most of this list. Maybe the grinch is my cousin, too.

Leaf said...

Fantastic post

judi said...

Here, Jack. This'll cheer you up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIED86zZBxs

Anonymous said...

Ditto, dude. (I can call you 'dude' because you're in California, right?)

Chana said...

Red and Green M&M's.

People who assume Hanukkah is the Jewish Xmas, or has anywhere the same significance on our calendar.

Oh, don't get me started...

Is it MLK Day yet?

Anonymous said...

Awww Jack...come make latkes with me on Sunday - it will surely change your holiday mood. I know it's going to change mine!

cruisin-mom said...

well, can't say I agree Jack...I really love this season.

TamarEden said...

You forgot Salvation Army bell ringers.

Anonymous said...

I hate holiday movies that pretend they're not.

Anonymous said...

The rampant consumerism this time of year actually makes RaggedyDad nostalgic for Russia when there was only one type of any given item. Of course, it usually meant waiting in line for 4 hours. Hmm . . waiting in line for 4 hours . . I feel like I just did that the other day!

Jack's Shack said...

BF,

Hey, since we're family can you loan me $50. ;)

Leaf,

Thanks.

Judi,

I feel better already.

Miriam,

Dude works for me.

Chana,

Good job.

Orieyenta,

As long as I don't have to do any dishes. I hate doing dishes.

Tamara,

You are right. Those freaks make me crazy.

Table,

Add it to the list.

RM,

4 hours in line- feh on that.

marallyn ben moshe said...

oy jack...you are so brave...the little drummer boy? you attacked the little drummer boy? quick climb a high tree and hide behind the little angel...wait...wait...i think i just had you barking up the wrong tree...come here to israel my friend...i don't think they ever put those little lights on a eucaliptus (sp?)...shabbat shalom...another outrageous great blog...yahoooooooooo

Anonymous said...

I don't mind geting a few days off.
and I think the decorations are pretty.
For the rest I agree.

Anonymous said...

I do admit to liking a few of the holiday-related rock songs (as I blogged last year), as well as some of the classic cartoons from my childhood. Otherwise I agree with Chana above. Nothing annoys me more than the melding of Chanukah and Xmas into one big unitarian "holiday season".

I'm tickled pink for Christians to have their religious holiday, as long as they let us have ours. In fact, the more obviously religiously Christmas is treated, the better as far as I'm concerned, since that makes it more obvious that I need not be involved.

Bill said...

Sorry Jack as you might expect I like the holiday.

It is just a different perspective I guess. I am able to ignore the nonsense created around the holiday, by fools that will capitalize on anything.

This holiday season does two things (or should do) bring families together, and brighten an otherwise dismal time of year (at least for us northern types)

I don't care what faith what holiday it is for anyone Xmas Kwanza Hanukkah etc..

We all need one big festival some time in the year. I do agree the season is abused but I'm happy to celebrate in my own why while others don't.

Happy Hanukkah ya old Grinch (-:

Jack's Shack said...

MBM,

I am fearless.

Prag,

In moderation the decorations would be fine.

Elie,

I hear you.

Bill,

Well I am partial to Festivus.

Rhea said...

I actually love this time of year. I love the lights, the spectacle, the fact that a lot of folks really do try to be nicer than usual, lots of parties to go to. And I love that I am Jewish at the this time of year. No pressure. I can just sit back and enjoy it all.

dorothy rothschild said...

Oh, hell. yes!

And for some reason, it's getting to me worse this year than it ever has.

I hate being expected to buy crap for people that they won't even like and that I can't afford and that they will either return, exchange, or regift, and that will ultimately end up somewhere in a landfill polluting the earth.

I've just about made up my mind to donate the money that I would have spent on gifts for people to a charity and send people on whose behalf I have made the donation a nice, hand written letter to that effect, but am not sure I'm brave enough to do it.

Jack's Shack said...

Rhea,

To each their own.


I've just about made up my mind to donate the money that I would have spent on gifts for people to a charity and send people on whose behalf I have made the donation a nice, hand written letter to that effect, but am not sure I'm brave enough to do it.


Do it. That is pretty cool.

My Thoughts said...

You are not alone in hating the holidays. Jews, Christians and many from all beliefs dread this time of year. The fault lies not in the commercialism, nor the fakeness and bubbly cheer that everyone wants you to have. The holidays are merely an excuse for individuals to celebrate what is good in life, or is used by others to complain about what is not had. You sound as miserable as the one who called you scrooge. If you are miserable than this is an issue for you to solve. If you cannot find something good in life to celebrate, than what you hate is your life not the "Holiday Season."

Jack's Shack said...

MT,

Miserable- you clearly haven't read anything else I have written.

My Thoughts said...

Did not mean to judge, just observe. Sorry if my observations came out as such. To engage in an demeaning arguement about who is right, write about it as a badge of honor, and to end your narative about the holiday season by saying, "I hate, I hate, I hate" appears to me as being miserable. Jewish, Christian, or whatever . . . the Holdiay Season needs to be about you. What you do, not what you have or what others want you to have.

Your other writings are interesting.

Jack's Shack said...

Gotcha.

Curmudgeonly Yours said...

A-bloody-men.

Jack's Shack said...

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Christmas is merely a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Notice I say birth not birthday. Jesus was not born in December, more likely june or july. But I buy my grandson a birth cake anytime he wants one and we celebrate the fact that he was born. On his birthday he gets a birthday cake. Personally I celebrate the Birth of Christ everyday. I pray that all find a way to extract some happiness from this Holiday Season. I Praise God for sending His Son to save me and you. God Bless!!!

John DaBaptiste said...

jesus is dead.

Anonymous said...

My personal pet peeves about the Holiday Season:

1. Crappy holiday parties
2. Spending time with my mushy,clingy,annoying inlaws that you're supposed to pretend to like just because it's christmas..
3. People who get up at 4am the day after Thanksgiving just to save $10 on a rudolph the red nosed reindeer sweater
4. People who spend 3 days setting up christmas lights on the roof of their house that cost $100/month in electricity.
5. Parents lining up to have their kids sit on the lap of a dirty old man in a red pimp suit that smells like pee, cheap beer,marlboros, and fresh baby vomit.

I like watching Bad Santa with Billy Bob Thorton this time of the year to put me in the mood :)

Rock on, brother Jack-keep on writing.

Jack's Shack said...

Anon,

How are things with Mr. Benchley? Or have I mistaken you for someone else. Haven't seen Bad Santa, but I might have to check it out.

Anonymous said...

I must say that I agree. Just to add something else to the list of "i hate,"

I HATE that my family is no longer able to get along and that somehow it is my fault that I am the only one that can say something about it because I am not playing games with these maniacs.

i feel better

Juggling Frogs said...

Hang in there, Jack. Chocolate Santas will be 90% off in the clearance bin next week.

Juggling Frogs said...

P.S. I celebrate December 25 as the of the end of the Christmas Musak season.

Anonymous said...

I hate having to pretend I don't hate it, since I'm under strict instructions to remain positive, cheerful and upbeat on the blog I maintain to promote my business. In fact, I believe it's incumbent on me to sign this comment anonymously, lest some potential customer with xmas stars in her eyes happen upon it and discover me for the Semite I am.

Jack's Shack said...

I HATE that my family is no longer able to get along and that somehow it is my fault that I am the only one that can say something about it because I am not playing games with these maniacs.

Anon,

Sorry to hear that. It must be uncomfortable.

JF,

The Muzak makes me nuts.

Anon,

We won't tell anyone. ;)

Rivster said...

I hate that homework assignments in my son's public school all revolve around the holiday.

Example: math class. Will the other kids' Christmas experience REALLY be ruined if they count blocks and not candy canes? Or "winter trees"? Or elves? The flip-side is that my poor little Jewish kid gets a daily reinforcement that he's not part of the host majority culture.

UGH!

Anonymous said...

i always feel i'm not having as much holiday fun as everybody else...if that makes sense. like i should be doing something fun and exciting because its the week before christmas! it just really bugs me. i agree with 96% of your list as well. :)

scriblegurl said...

I'll have to agree with you. Man I can't wait for this to end.