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Showing posts from October, 2010

Halloween 2010

Every time I hear this music I am taken back to my childhood. It is 1978 and I am a precocious nine year-old boy. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and I look forward to celebrating it every year. I have a neighbor who lives across the street. His name is Sam and we walk to and from school together. Some days I go over to his house and we play together until dinner time. Sam has an older brother named Harry who knows much more than we do. In the years that come he and some of his friends will be the guys who educate me about girls. They have magazines that they'll show us. Magazines with lots of pictures of naked women, but that is a post for a different day. For now I am focused on the memories of the 9 year-old boy who watched horror movies at Sam's house. Good old Sam who loved the horror movies and had a room full of models that he would build. Plastic replicas of the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Dracula, Frankenstein and more decorate the walls. When his mom

Things that Frighten Me

In Honor of Halloween here is the list of things that frighten me. Some of these may have changed or require updating but I am going to save that for later. This a list of things that have frightened me in my life. Some are still relevant and some are not. But I thought that it might be interesting to just throw them all out there to see what they look like during daylight hours. P.S. I have explanations for all of these, but I may not include them on the list. Why? I just don't feel like it. :) The Dark The Amityville Horror scared me. Oscar the Grouch Bigfoot- The one from the Bionic Man television Show. He gave Steve Austin plenty of trouble. The Creature in the Legend of Boggy Creek A couple of dogs that chased me on my paper route. The homeless guy from the park. V.L.- He and I got into a fight in high school. I pretty much kicked his ass up and down the corridor, but I do remember shaking with adrenalin afterwards. For about two weeks I was concerned that I was goi

Saturday Morning Music Mash

   Download now or listen on posterous 01_The_Batman_Theme.m4a (5506 KB)    Download now or listen on posterous 07_The_Man's_Too_Strong.m4a (8823 KB)    Download now or listen on posterous 08_Just_Like_Heaven.m4a (7100 KB)    Download now or listen on posterous 16_American_Pie.m4a (16551 KB)    Download now or listen on posterous 16_Shout_It_Out_Loud_(New_Video_Vers.m4a (7158 KB)    Download now or listen on posterous 2-08_The_End.m4a (24510 KB)    Download now or listen on posterous 07_I'm_Shipping_Up_to_Boston.m4a (5448 KB)    Download now or listen on posterous 02_Country_Comfort.m4a (10128 KB)    Download now or listen on p

5 Secrets of Great Bloggers

Here are 5 Secrets that Great Bloggers use every day. They're important enough that you could build a single post around each one individually. Write a picture with your words. Build sights, sounds and imagery that capture your reader's attention. Build a relationship with your readers. Provide content that they can relate and connect to. Be reliable. You don't have to hit a home run with every post but you need show up consistently. Be authentic, be open and be real. Show your readers that a real person is behind your content. Respond to comments on your blog and visit your readers. In other words, engage and interact with them.

The Talking Penis- A New Bathroom Adventure

Longtime readers are well aware that there are plenty o'adventures to be had in a bathroom. I have written about his on numerous occasions. For those who have missed those stories here are a few of them: Jack's Experience In the Ladies Room Bathroom Etiquette The GermoPhobe A Little Digestive Distress- Chicken Vindaloo If you read those then you just never know what is going to happen in a public place, especially a public bathroom. This is the tale of one of my experiences. Let me set the scene. I enter a public restroom. Against the far wall there is a line of a half dozen or so urinals, only one of which was in use. If you are familiar with urinal selection strategy this is a good thing as it provides much to choose from. As I had enjoyed plenty o'coffee I had need of one and so I headed down the line a couple places past a gentleman at the front. He was a big guy, had to be at least 6'2, dark hair and wearing a dark suit. Not that I was l

The Fear of Failure

It is time to update this post so if you have seen it before I encourage you to keep reading because there is new material. "If I find 10,000 ways something won't work, I haven't failed. I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.' Thomas A. Edison "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Thomas A. Edison I suppose that sounds rather New Agey, but anytime I am feeling like I have failed to succeed I try to take a look at these two quotes. Actually there are a bunch of others that I like to read, but I didn't have time to include all of them. And that leads me to my next point/comment. The moments that I find that I am most disappointed with myself are tied into the fear of failure, not failure, but the fear of it. It is much easier to live with knowing that you tried than to say that you never did. "Fear is the main sour

Goodbye Grandma

In Dublin's fair city, where the girls are so pretty I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone As she wheeled her wheelbarrow through streets broad and narrow Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O! A-live a-live O! A-live a-live O! Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O! Molly Malone Yesterday was my grandfather's 96th birthday or should I say that it would have been . Hard to believe that so much time has passed and yet not hard at all. I look at my life today and shake my head in amazement. Four years later grandpa would be shocked to see how much has changed, how much has not and how much will be changing...soon. Four years ago the dark haired beauty was a toddler who didn't understand death. Now she is pushing 6.5 and has no memories of the man I miss. She recognizes his face in pictures but doesn't know that those blue eyes had a special twinkle and no memory how he would sing Molly Malone...badly. I don't have to close my eyes to hear him or

A Letter To A Girl Who Was

I was made to love her, Worship and adore her, Hey, hey, hey. All through thick and thin Our love just won't end, 'Cause I love my baby, love my baby. Ah! My baby loves me, My baby needs me, And I know I ain't going nowhere. I was knee high to a chicken When that love bug bit me, I had the fever with each passing year. Oh, even if the mountain tumbles, If this whole world crumbles, By her side I'll still be standing there. 'Cause I was made to love her, I was made to live for her, yeah! Ah, I was made to love her, Built my world all around her, Hey, hey, hey."   I Was Made To Love Her - Stevie Wonder Hey woman, it is me again. Yeah, I know you can't figure out what I see or why I keep this up. You're tactile and concrete in your world view. The queen of low expectations who likes to think that she is logical and rational, but I know better. You are one crazy broad and I don't care. I don't care because you are th

Hey Shmata Queeen

Hey Shmata Queen- Not sure if you are going to come by today but I wanted to point out that I was right...again. Go read It Is Just Unfair and then tell me to stop lording it over you.  I know, I am a pain in the ass. The crazy Taurus who tamed the even crazier Virgo. It was done using exceptionally complex mathematical equations, numerous quotes from Bertrand Russell, Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond and 23 pounds of Godiva Chocolate. Mind you that it took great skill and agility to avoid being smacked in the head by that exceptionally large black purse she carries. Someone ought to take that away from her long enough to remove the rocks from it. Sheesh.

Of Bullies, Blogging and Hell

There are some outstanding posts here that are just beggging to be read by you. Go on now, don't leave them waiting around. When Bloggers Bully More fun Than A Root Canal The Many Layers of Hell The Red Dress Must Blogging Have a Purpose Facebook Privacy Issues Teach Your Boy To Pee Like A Man And your blasts from the past: The Fear of Failure You Used To Let Me See You Dad, Can You Teach me About Girls

When Bloggers Bully

The fastest way to make friends and enemies in blogging is remarkably simple. All you need to do is create and publish a list called “Best” or “Most Popular” and you are guaranteed to be praised and criticized for your wisdom and or tunnel vision. The interesting thing about it is that it doesn’t matter whether you are an expert in a particular field or the most popular blogger in your niche because you will make waves. You can blame it on human nature or spin it any way you want to because the truth is that with few exceptions most bloggers want to be praised for their work. Most want to have millions of readers and comment sections that are overflowing with discussions about the most recent posts. None of this should be seen as being exceptionally profound or insightful because it doesn’t take a P.H.D. to point out that politics, popularity contests and jealousy rear their heads in the blogosphere with the same frequency as they do everywhere else in life. However, the thing th

More fun Than A Root Canal

If you have to ask what is more fun than a root canal and two crowns you clearly haven't had the pleasure of undergoing all three procedures in a single day. I am told that it would be wrong to compare water boarding to the joys of a four hour stint in the dentist's chair. And in all fairness there is no doubt that it was my choice to be there. I was free to leave any time I wanted to but that provided limited solace and support. I still had lie back and listen to the sound of the drill and there was no doubt that the smoke I smelled was coming from the fire in my mouth. There may not have been flames but it is not an exaggeration to mention the smoke nor to say that this time I was truly spitting blood. So for two days now I have been sucking down Vicodin and Amoxicillin. For two days I have been shocked that my mouth feels like someone has been messing around inside there. Really, I shouldn't be surprised by any of this. The soft tissue isn't made to be stabbed,

The Many Layers of Hell

I can't remember who said that there are many levels of Hell, but I know that there are many and that I have been to at least a couple. The Department of Motor Vehicles, The Mall during the holidays and most recently Costco and Trader Joe's market on a Sunday afternoon. It is common knowledge among the intellectual elite that venturing to a Trader Joe’s, home of “Two Buck Chuck” vintage wines and fine cheeses will involve solving a puzzle that is a prerequisite for entrance into Mensa. It is called parking. Some sick man/woman in their corporate office gleefully searches for store locations that cannot support the traffic that the store will bring, or so it seems. I conducted an unscientific survey in which I drove to four stores and then polled the people there and the three dogs that were tied up in front of the stores about this. All of them agree that parking at any Trader Joe's is an exercise in treachery and guile best left to politicians or thos

The Red Dress

"I thought about you for a long time Can't seem to get you off my mind I can't understand why we're living life this way I found your picture today I swear I'll change my ways I just called to say I want you to come back home I found your picture today I swear I'll change my ways I just called to say I want you to come back home I just called to say, I love you come back home" Picture - Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow Sometimes the only explanation for the unexplainable is that there is no explanation. This is never more true than in what some people call affairs of the heart. When you are dealing with the heart there is nothing more frustrating than trying to apply the rules of logic and reason for no reason other than The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants . It is exactly that simple. The heart wants what the heart wants and rational thought be damned. You can only fight it for so long before you realize that you can't apply mathematical formul

Must Blogging Have a Purpose

( Two years later I still ask some of the same questions) About once a week I come across in article that offers stats that are supposed to show that blogging is so common that it is uncommon for people not to have one. My experience doesn't support that premise. I know very few people that have blogs or at least very few that admit to it. As a point of clarification let me say that I am referring to people I knew prior to beginning my blogging career. With the exception of two people on the blogroll I really didn't know anyone who was blogging until after I leapt into the blogosphere. The wild and woolly blogosphere who has finally gained acceptance as a medium that can affect public opinion. One of the great social equalizers. Here in the blogospheres looks and money are far less important than the real world. Here in the blogosphere anyone and everyone can become an internet hero and leverage their blog into fame and fortune. "Fame and fortune, that

Facebook Privacy Issues

The Wall Street Journal ran a disturbing article that provided details about an investigation that they ran on Facebook regarding privacy issues. Take a look at this: Many of the most popular applications, or "apps," on the social-networking site Facebook Inc. have been transmitting identifying information—in effect, providing access to people's names and, in some cases, their friends' names—to dozens of advertising and Internet tracking companies, a Wall Street Journal investigation has found. The issue affects tens of millions of Facebook app users, including people who set their profiles to Facebook's strictest privacy settings. The practice breaks Facebook's rules, and renews questions about its ability to keep identifiable information about its users' activities secure. The Journal ties this into companies that are building databases that track user activities online. The article says that 10 of the most popular apps on Facebook were tra

Teach Your Boy To Pee Like A Man

Visionaire Products introduces the Peter Potty ® the worlds only flushable toddler urinal. With the Peter Potty ®, the potty training time is reduced by 6 months on average. Because the Peter Potty® is adjustable, and the right size for little boys, it is eliminates accidental messes during the potty training process. It warms my heart to see such an outstanding tool. On a serious note, it kind of irks me to see boys sit down unnecessarily. Stand tall and be proud. With a little practice they can help extinguish a campfire because believe me, until you have experienced that little gem you haven't really lived. (Yes, this post is recycled but we believe in being green.)

They Violated My Home

The call came around a little after 11 A.M. It was my next door neighbor calling to say that he thought that his home had been burglarized. For a moment I felt like I had been sucker punched because I realized that I had heard the person/people breaking into his home. A short while before I heard three loud noises. It sounded like a Pile Driver. It was loud and unexpected. I remember noticing that the dog and I both looked up. I said something to him about wondering where the construction was. The initial bang was followed by two more and then it was silent. For a moment I considered walking outside to see what all the banging was about. It never occurred to me that someone was violating the sanctity of my neighbor's home. So since it was cold and wet outside I chose to stay inside and now I feel a pang of guilt about it. One can argue that it is good that I didn't confront those responsible for this as it could have been dangerous. After all they took some televisions, s

The Running Father

I stumbled across a four year old post today and read my words again . I stumbled across a four year old post today and read words that reminded me that some challenges never go away. 'On the subject of dreams there is always the question of how to fulfill those. What do you do to turn fantasy into reality. How do you bring the image in your head to life. Are you someone who is more content to dream or are you resourceful enough to turn fiction to fact." For a moment I stared at the page and wondered how it is that I am still stuck in this place. Three weeks ago I wrote about Dreams I Have Never Had and described what it felt like to dream "Sometimes I dream about things that never were and places that I have never been. These dreams I have are bold and bright filled with beauty, mystery and sometimes fear. Sometimes I see the echoes of a future I hope to have and fragments of a past that was. There are dreams that I can't quite describe but I can't tell

Things You Should Know About Me/Stuff I think About

I like to debate and I like to argue. I like to get the last word, but what does it all matter. I sometimes hold a grudge. I like Pepsi and I like coke. When I was a younger man, so much younger than today I never need anyone's help in any way. But I still needed ice cream. A good pizza, a good beer and a clear summer night- this is the recipe for a good time. I miss being able to eat with reckless abandon. I miss being able to survive for months at a time on 3 hours sleep. I don't miss being a poor college student. Tonight I'll sing my songs again I'll play the game and pretend But all my words come back to me In shades of mediocrity Like emptiness in harmony I need someone to comfort me People I would have liked to have met: King David, Samson, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Shoeless Joe Jackson, David Ben-Gurion, Casey Stengel, Harriet Tubman, Teddy Roosevelt, Ghandi, Winston Churchill, Julius Caesar, Leonardo Davinci, Galileo, Shakespe

Musical Morning and Some Links

A few links and some music: Me & The Ultimate Fighter- Road Rage Walking With The Dead Courtesy of the  iTunes Shuffle: As Good As I Once Was - Toby Keith How Do You Like Me Now?! - Toby Keith Waiting on a Woman - Brad Paisley Thunderball - Tom Jones Battle Without Honor or Humanity -Tomoyasu Hotei Calling All Angels -Train Panama -Van Halen Long Live Rock (Kid's Are Alright Mix) - The Who Rain in the Summertime - The Alarm Why Should I Care - Diana Krall

Do You Have An Accent?

So here is the question of the moment, Do You Have An Accent? Not clear on what the meaning is, take a look at this link. accent The latter part of the definition is really what we are talking about. The word accent in English is also understood to mean the pronunciation and speech patterns that are typical of a speech community; As a child I never realized that all people have accents, or should I say that it never occurred to me that people would think that my own speech has an accent. I grew up on the West Coast, Los Angeles born and bred. We didn't sound like people from Long Island, Brooklyn, Nashville or Alpharetta. And we certainly didn't sound like we had rolled out of Tel Aviv, JoBurg, Sydney or Mexico City. To be clear, I have always enjoyed accents. It tickled me pink to hear people speak English yet sound so different. In fact, there was a point in time in which I was disappointed that I couldn't speak with an English accent, but that was short

This Time

A new insert for Fragments of Fiction; "Ran into you yesterday Memories rushed through my brain it started to hit me now you're not with me I realized I made a mistake I thought I needed some space But I just let love go to waste This Time - John Legend It sounds like a cheap rip off of a Beatles song but when I saw you standing there my heart stopped beating for a moment. You took my breath away and for a moment I didn't know where I was or why I was there. And then just like in the movies there was a loud whoosh and suddenly time started moving and the loud noise that I found so irritating turned into a woman saying, "excuse me." I moved out of the way and wondered what to do. You were standing there in a red dress, completely unaware that I was in the store. I took two steps backwards and one to the side. I was so stunned to see you there that I needed a moment to compose myself. Thirty seconds wasn't enough time to figure out whether I shoul

The Week Is Over- Sort Of

Don't read this post unless you are prepared to embark on an experience like no other. It is not an exaggeration or hyperbole to say so, really it is not. Hell the damn Bloggess can write about a Bloody Horse so why can't I write the greatest post you have never read. So take a moment to listen to the words found below. I'll wait. Are you done listening yet? It doesn't matter because time doesn't wait for anyone and Jack has to use the damn bathroom so he is typing furiously and talking about himself in the third person. Two days later and my mouth finally stopped aching from the visit to the dentist. So happy to know that I get to go back next week to find out if I am going to have a root canal. Never had one of those and would prefer not to. It sounds about as enjoyable as allowing the doc to shove a camera up my butt so that he can confirm that the G.I. system is working properly. Well, that damn G.I. system is not working the way that it should and it su