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Showing posts from January, 2012

Learning to Fly

I am throwing myself into the fire and doing what I do best...dancing. I don't know how to do this any other way. Can't be anyone but me and that is ok with me because I like me. Doesn't mean that I haven't been him but I have been more restrained. I haven't let the man inside that keeps running the iron cup across the bars go free. Haven't let the demons free to run alongside him and the wolves. That crazy guy inside who is filled with battle lust really  isn't crazy. He knows what he is doing and he just does it. Much of it is based upon instinct and split decisions that aren't weighed and measured a thousand different ways. He is much more of a force of nature and exerts the kind of presence that you can't help but notice but the thing is that he doesn't care. And it is because he doesn't care that he is considered to be so magnetic by so many. He is me without care and without restriction. And he is the driving force that pushes m

Lots O'Links To Read

When Bloggers Sing- Technical Difficulties Edition Go The F*ck To Sleep Kids- The Sleepover Party Nightmare The Best Way To Blog Is…Your Way This Was Our Song When I AM King Of The World…. Pray For Him What Songs Inspire You?

Your Songwriter

Dear woman, That is sort of a nondescript way of addressing you now isn't it. I could be far more direct and make it clear to all who read this exactly who it is I am speaking to, because I am most certainly speaking. You may be reading these words but I know you inside out and even after all of this time I know that when you read my words you hear my voice. You hear my voice and feel my presence and it makes you feel warm, loved and confused. The logic and reason with which you want to view the world won't work here. I know because I ask for them to do so too. I look at math and science and search for something that makes sense of this crazy confusion. There are no theorems or proofs to apply. Newton can't explain it and Faraday can't diagram it. But I know that you are the song of my heart and that once you said I was the love of your life. And I know that the song of my heart still remembers the love of her life in ways that cannot be broken or forgotten. It

He Tried To Forget Her

She was the one who came unsought and unseen into his life and turned it upside down. She was ready but he wasn't and then he was ready and she wasn't. It was an awkward dance of ups and downs and uncertainties. It was a time of change in many things and many places and it was never clear what was really going on. And so they took a step back to look at their lives and to review what it was and what it was not. A seesaw is a great place for a child but not always as much fun for an adult and so it seemed that if they could not be then the best thing to do would be to walk away. To walk away and say that if it was meant to be then somehow it would work out. He said it and he meant it but deep inside it never did take. Though he did his best to try and forget her there were always things to remind him that something was missing from his life. It was a funny sort of realization because something had been missing from his life for a long time and her arrival in it had filled

What You Should Be Reading

The Day I Had Lunch With Bruce Springsteen & J.R.R. Tolkien How To Save The Internet- Stop SOPA And PIPA There Is A Cop At The Door How 3,000 Sycophants Made One Man A Better Blogger What Is Your Blog About? The Speech That Martin Luther King Jr. Never Wrote She Still Dances

Just Write Boychik

It is pushing midnight but I am still awake. Still here at my keyboard searching for the keystrokes that will bring you closer to where I am and where we were. Unsure and uncertain of how to find them I go back in time to the songs we listened to and hope that music helps to reconnect and recreate the magic of the day and the music of the night. I do it because I promised to be your hero. I took the vow and swore the oath that will not let me rest. I fight the battles and go to war each day because there are no alternatives for me. It is not hype nor melodrama. I feel and hear the sound of that drummer and I dance because that is what is required. But I do it with hope and a full heart. I am alone and apart because that is how I choose to be. I choose to remember and to believe in a past and a future that none could have predicted or imagined. Let others live the life that is dictated by those who haven't the will to chase their true desire. That is not I

It is A Constant Source of Amusement

I am a big fan of Letters of Note . It is a constant source of amusement. I loved the response that Saroyan got about wanting to become an editor: I note what you say about your aspiration to edit a magazine. I am sending you by this mail a six-chambered revolver. Load it and fire every one into your head. Classic.

How Many Blogs Must A Man Write

Jimmy killed himself 11 years ago or maybe it was 12, I am not really sure. I know for certain when Max died because it was the Fall of 1989 when he decided that life wasn't worth living. Been thinking about suicide quite a bit. Been wondering how you get to that dark place where you can't see daylight or feel the warmth of the sun. It is not because I have any desire to end my life because that is not remotely close. We all have our troubles and I feel like I have received a double dose but I never seriously considered ending things. Strange to think about how many people I know who have because I can name a few more beyond those two. I wasn't particularly close with any of them but I spent a lot of time with Max and Jimmy. We went to the same summer camps and participated in the same youth groups. Happy talk, isn't it, these musings about death. ***** Been thinking about the various places in which I publish and wondering if it makes sense to have so

Articles Worth Reading

Cheaper Than A $5 Whore With Less Risk of Infection The Blog is Broken It Is Not Cute When I Act Like a Father Sometimes Music is Necessary One Hell Of A Story The Writer’s Workout Three Words Your Children Should Never Read Posted via email from thejackb's posterous

Blogging 2012

2012.  Every time I type that out I find myself shaking my head and wondering how this little corner of cyberspace has managed to survive for so long. This may it will be 8 years since I opened up this place and I can't imagine life without it. This blog may not be my primary residence online any more but it is my retreat and somewhere that I visit because it is like a home that forever welcomes me with open arms. Here is where I have loved and lost. Here is where it all started but not where it ends, at least not yet. That is a story that has yet to be told and I can only hope that when it does it will be an epic adventure worthy of all that I wish for it. This joint will continue to be a repository of thoughts and ideas. It will continue to serve as another place to write and share pieces of passion and personality. Some will be fiction and some will not. It remains to be seen whether I will share which is what.