- Home Sweet Home- Motley Crue
- I'm On Fire- Bruce Springsteen
- In My Life- The Beatles
- In My Life- Johnny Cash
- In My Life- Ozzy Osbourne
- Mess Around- Ray Charles
- Misty Mountains- The Dwarf Cast & Richard Armitage
- Mud on The Tires- Brad Paisley
- I Miss You A Little- John Michael Montgomery
- No One Will Ever Love You (Nashville Cast Version)
- All I Want Is You- U2
- You Are Loved- Josh Groban
It is where I got my start and where I learned the ropes but it is not home in the same way any more. It is a place filled with mist and memories and fragments of other stuff.
So I have to decide whether it is time to shut the doors or if there is a different way of doing things. Have to decide what purpose this serves and then adjust things because there is only so much time in the day and I can't spread myself any thinner.
Are you searching for something or someone that you have yet to find/meet or are you stuck in the past.
Maybe you are somewhere in between trying to figure out how to unlock potential that has yet to be given a chance to show itself.
If there is anything to be learned from the past it is that almost every personal challenge we face today is old news that others have been through before.
Doesn't necessarily make it any easier but it lends some perspective. Maybe Danny Zuko and Sandy figure it out in real life and maybe they don't.
Of course if they had nothing but clear skies to walk through there wouldn't be opportunities for songs like "Hopelessly Devoted To You" and others like "You're The One That I Want" wouldn't have the same ring to them now would they. ;)
Ain't life just a motherfucker.
And just in case you aren't certain you can always take a short online course to bone up on how to properly wrap your hands around one of these suckers.
Sure, it is not the same sort of snake you are used to handling but what harm could come from wrestling with a muscle that is bigger, thicker, longer and just as dumb as the others from your childhood.
It would be fair to say I am willing to press the limits such as the time I wrote about sleeping with a nun or why sex with twins is best. It is a risk doing this because those who skim through my posts often miss the deeper meaning, assuming that there is one.
It is a risk because you never get a second chance to make a first impression and some people run from the more "risque" remarks. It makes me miss the old days a little bit because back then I didn't worry one whit about whether an off the cuff remark would offend or upset.
I suppose it raises all sorts of questions in my head.
How Honest Are You In Your Posts?Sometimes I wonder about how honest people are in their posts and not just because I have been known to share some fiction and or engage in hyperbole.
Maybe it is because I am in transition and ...
We live in the richest country in the world and yet I keep running into the homeless and hungry. Our farmers produce more than enough food to feed everyone but it doesn't get distributed to those who need it most.
Somewhere a useful idiot will explain to me why I am wrong and how I don't understand the way the world works.
I may remain silent and ignore their attempt to educate me or I may unleash a verbal torrent upon them that they won't soon forget. I may overwhelm them with facts and information that they cannot ignore because I can't stomach their lack of compassion masked behind some silly sophomoric rant about socialism or some other such thing.
Sometimes I wonder what they would say if they were in a situation in which they couldn't feed their families or what they would do if they ended up on the street.
I wonder if they would talk about how many good and kind people there are and say not to worry because they know that people weren't overtaxed and that means they will get help.
Gah, it just makes me crazy.
So here is a quick look at the most popular posts and keywords that are driving in traffic. Don't know that there is much to learn from this, but just for kicks here are the most popular posts this week
10 interesting vocabulary words
how to live out of your truck
"man forced to have sex"
A sexually incompatible marriage
She will come back
best friends in love
because mothers are overrated
coca cola with extra caffeine
coping with teenage hormones
erotic adventures for married couples
favorite song verses
how do air force pilots go to the bathroom
When I was in my twenties I remember going to a few funerals for parents of friends but it was clear to all that these men/women had died at very young ages.
Things have definitely changed, because now our parents are not so young anymore. You wouldn't necessarily call them old, but they have reached that place where they are again in the "in between" place that people sometimes hit.
People in their seventies, I am not quite sure how to "categorize" them. Don't know if there is a need, but when you are stuck in traffic sometimes your head wanders to all sorts of different places.
Incidentally these posts are blowing up on the other blog:
Why Should I Care- Diana Krall
Cornflake Girl- Tori Amos
A Face In The Crowd- Tom Petty
The Battle Of Evermore-Led Zeppelin
Hang On Sloopy-The McCoys
I'm Going Slightly Mad- Queen
Lady Jane- The Rolling Stones
Wish You Were Here- Pink Floyd
Me or Him- Roger Waters
So I sit here in silence thinking about what has happened and wondering what the best response to the current conditions would be.
I prefer to be proactive and am not a fan of being reactive but this particular predicament prevents that sort of push and those who I would have called upon for counsel are gone.
Not sure that I really care about that because ultimately the decision will come back to me and I am confident about the choices I choose to make.
Life is more than interesting now. We shall see how it develops and where it goes.
It is not because I intend to delete this blog or have any plans to abandon it, but things happen. I could always decide to walk away, Blogger could disappear or more likely they could delete/remove/suspend this account for any reason they choose.
Again, I have no reason to believe this will happen but experience has taught me to not rely solely upon my gut. As shocking as it may sound, sometimes I am proven and or found to be wrong.
Yeah, I know it is surprising but it has happened more than once and probably will again. So my goal is to do what I can to protect myself and my work.
Sometimes I figure screw it, no one but me will notice if it disappears or if I never write again. Sometimes I think about hanging up the keyboard and starting over somewhere else.
New beginnings are kind of fun and I have had a few during the last few years so I am getting to be pretty good at it.
But there is something to be said for the old familiar faces and places routine and this one is part of that group.
And since there is some value in driving traffic to some of the new haunts here are a few links:
The Faces That Women Want
Blogging Every Day Is Easy- The Class Of ’69 Speaks
Beat The Clock- Hard Decisions Edition
A Game Changing Moment
You Are Too Stupid To Read This Post- Go Away!
Dad Will Kill Them Dead!
A Father Describes Parenting
A Father’s Burden
How Sister’s Helped to Train A Father of “Daddy’s Girl”
Inside the Blogger’s Studio- A Dream, Er Nightmare
What I Dream About
I am In Love
Becoming a Dad
Dad’s Most Important Job
A Decade of Dad
Why Your Post Sucks and Everyone Hates Your Blog
A Letter To My Children-2011
Dad Balances Fear Versus Reality
Q&A With Daddy Blogger JackB
Save The Last Dance For Me- 75 Years of Marriage
An Uncertain Certainty
Four Generations & A Wedding
The Best Thing My Father Ever Said To Me
1 Foolproof Way To Become a Better Writer
The Story Of A House- The Final Days
He Died A Hero
Twenty-Five Links That Will Make You A Better Writer/Blogger
I voted. I voted with my conscience and with thought. I voted with intent and with purpose.
I am an Independent and I cross party lines without a second thought. Don't care if the Democrats favor or oppose any more than I care if the Republicans do.
That is because I vote base upon the issue. The question is never whether the party supports it but whether it is good for America.
Will it help educate/feed/clothe/house/defend the people without creating major issues elsewhere. Will it make healthcare more affordable or will people go bankrupt trying to take care of themselves and their families.
I have little tolerance for most of the political crap that people try to feed me. When I am nice I am self deprecating about it and describe myself as being a bit of a snob, but that is not fair to me.
That is because I didn't sleep through school or cheat my way through basic civics. I paid attention in history. I listened to my Constitutional Law professors and did my best to absorb all that was thrown my way.
It is because I operate in the real world. I am a writer who loves to write fiction but when it comes to politics it is simple to me.
You won't hear me rattle on about what the world should be like because I am focused on what it is like. If you don't like what it is going on then work within the system to change it and stop wasting our time talking about how it should be.
That damn river never should have burst into flames and people shouldn't die from hunger but it happens.
So what do we do about it besides bitch and moan.
So as you dance through the sea of junkies, hicks from Arkansas and ignorance here are things to read or not read.
Got to say this old blog is doing a tremendous job of driving traffic, not too shabby. Maybe it is not old and broken.
You can blame my confusion upon our having slept together on a number of different occasions. The first time it happened was a surprise to both of us or so I had thought. Conversation with a dear friend of the fairer sex suggested that there might have been more planning involved than I knew.
"We know within moments of meeting you whether you might have the right stuff to end up in our beds. But there are a million different things that can make or break that for you."
I laughed and told her I thought the million different things was the biggest crock I have ever heard of but admitted I had learned to be relatively silent.
"Silence can be your friend. You don't want to be too quiet because that can wreck your chances, but too much talking can kill it for you too. There was a guy in my physics class I was really hot for. One night I was determined to make things happen and then he just killed my mood with stupid comments."
Well I must not have said anything really stupid nor done anything really offensive on the day in question because two hours of studying for a history midterm led to the best seven minutes of her life..
Ok, I can't say for certain that it was the best seven minutes of her life but the moment we share was short enough to me to be somewhat embarrassed and obvious enough for her to smile and say it was ok.
A quick nap followed and redemption was earned later but that wasn't enough to keep us from going our separate ways. It wasn't for lack of effort on my part, she just wasn't interested. I chased and pursued for a while and then gave up because I wasn't getting anywhere.
Lack of pursuit led to more interest and another moment shared in the blankets. This time was far different.I was much more comfortable but she seemed far more distant and I wondered if I was pinch hitting for someone else.
Time passed again and there were a few shared moments but nothing to write home about. Graduation came and went and we forgot about each other and things might have stayed that way had it not been for a party.
The food and drinks were good but the company was not so we left and wandered around laughing about how unexpected it had been to bump into each other.
Midway through our walk I pulled her into my arms and kissed her hard. For a moment she kissed me back and then stopped.
"I want to, but I am involved with someone."
I nodded my head and walked her to her car. Ten minutes later we came up for air long enough for her to politely tell me to go. She wanted to go farther but she was involved. This was fun. It was good. It was chemical. It was too much and it was over.
It was a bad date movie being played out in real life. Frustrated and flustered I watched her give me a half-hearted smile and a "take care of yourself" as she drove away.
For three days I spent my free time staying busy so that I wouldn't think about her. She said she couldn't and that she was involved. There were lots of other women, why try to catch the one I couldn't have.
Day four came and I had had enough of wondering and wanting. I did some research, found her telephone number and called her.
"We are just friends. That is all we can be."
Those words echoed in my head.
"If I hadn't been a gentleman you wouldn't have stopped me. You would have gone with the moment...gladly.
There was a long pause and then a response.
"You are probably right, I would have. But is that really how you want me. Do you want the sort of mercy moment that some girls give guys?"
I didn't know how to respond to that. Was it a test? Did she want me to show that I would fight for her? Was I supposed to tell her I had to find out what we could be together or was it exactly as it sounded.
I paused, closed my eyes and saw her eyes staring back at me. I could feel her body pressed up against mine and I remembered how for just a moment she kissed me back. It hadn't been a reaction, it was voluntary.
"Action speak louder than words. You can say what you want. You can claim that we are only friends but I think you are lying to yourself. That is not how I want to go through life. I don't know what to make of anything, but I know there is something here."
She asked me now to make it any harder and I told her it was her fault. When we hung up the phone I closed my eyes again and wondered what the hell had happened. Something had changed and I wasn't quite sure what it was.
I just knew that when I went to sleep it was with her scent in my nose and the feel of her body against mine.
This is what they call a "real predicament."
Don't ask the magician to share their secret because when you do the mystery of the magic is removed and you lose something more special than you can imagine.
It doesn't really matter much because ultimately I refuse to say more than I have and share more than you have seen.
There are limits to what I will reveal and I simply won't bend. Those few who find their way into the inner circle may learn more but even then it is questionable.
Some of it is because experience has taught me to keep my own counsel for I won't betray myself as others have done. Trust is a commodity and I am cautious with mine.
Drew Carey Theme
Sometimes life is a real kick in the pants. Never know where you'll go and what you will do.
Your Time Is Gonna Come- Led Zeppelin
Hard Hearted Hannah- Ray Charles
Woke Up This Morning- A3
How To Save A Life- The Fray
Praan- Garry Schyman
Love Without End, Amen- George Strait
What I Got- Sublime
Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack
And much, much more.
- How Many Bloggers Does It Take To Make a Sandwich
- A Reading Comprehension Experiment
- Barry Manilow Could Be A Blogger
- Your Blog Is Like A Village
- Come Sail With The Dread Pirate Roberts
And some boundaries simply aren't broken. While I may not fear to cross some lines there are others that remain untouchable because some things will always remain off limits.
What you see isn't always what you get.
Unfortunately there are other things that are more important than making this look exactly as I want and wish it to.
With some luck that won't prevent you from taking time to read through. There are some older posts here that were fun to look at. Some of the comments made me snort, reminded me of promises made and promises broken.
Life is nothing but interesting.
Another Meme- 7 Things
- Too Much Information- The Girl in the Men's Room
- My Son & The Strip Club
- Rules For Life
- Dear Santa Take a Memo
- The Auto Flush
And that leads me to somewhere else, a thought about finishing something else. It is what I am doing now. I am finishing something else that will lead to the next place.
Transition. I am in transition and I am excited and nervous, but in a good way. The train has left the station and the engine is chugging down the line, there is no turning back and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Read this once or read it twice- the end result is the same thing. I am going after what I want.
That is not to say there will not be any more original content here, because there has been and will continue to be. This place is not abandoned, but it is purpose has been adjusted and we're working off of that.
You should expect to find some more fiction, some posts about parenting and some random thoughts here. In the interim I want to encourage you to check out the headlines below.
Fear of rejection. Fear of being hurt. Fear of a thousand different things. There are things I could say. Things I might say. Things I want to say.
But at the moment I won't.
Blame it on fear or attribute to other things. The time is not right or maybe it is.
It wouldn't be funny to anyone else but us and it was. Whenever we talked about doing it we would laugh hard and share that special smile that we saved for each other..
We were going to visit Judy and have sex on her porch or maybe inside her apartment. Can't remember who came up with the idea and why, but we did. And like I said I can't tell you why it was funny nor does it really matter.
It was just something we said we were going to do but it became more than that. It was sort of a catchphrase for doing something ridiculous and silly.
When Judy got sick I told Anne that we ought to think twice about whether doing it would be a way to honor Judy or if it would be disrespectful.
We both knew that wasn't really what we were talking about, but it was just how we dealt with something hard and difficult to talk about.
"It is not like Judy's ghost is going to come haunt or walk in on us."
I laughed and told her that I loved her so much that if I died before she did I would come back to visit her.
"Daniel, that is not funny. I don't know what I would do if you died."
I took her hand and kissed her cheek.
"Anne, you will go live your life and be happy. You will find someone new and move on. Sometimes you will think about me and wonder what could have been, but if you are smart you won't spend your days looking back."
She started to respond and I kissed her so she would stop worrying about it. I don't think that I made her forget, but I distracted her.
Later that night I watched as she slept and promised her that as long as I lived I would do what I could to make her happy and protect her from whatever came, including Judy's ghost.
And then came the day that
It has to be apparent that this place doesn't hold the same attention for me as it once did and that I have made an effort to move forward.
But that doesn't negate the place this blog holds in my heart and the sheer love I hold for what it has given me.
Nor does it preclude a relationship because that suggests there is no room to move from the past into the present and that is something I simply do not believe.
There is opportunity and all that is required is the willingness to take a leap of faith.
I have relatively few regrets in life and those I do have generally stem from my having been slow or unwilling to take those leaps of faith.
That is not how I live any more and thus I find myself enjoying new opportunities and experiences. Moving forward doesn't have to mean we forget who we were or who we are. It just means we understand sometimes you have to take a chance to get the bigger rewards in life.
You think that from a distance you can watch and observe what happens in my life and that it will be enough to keep you connected but not in a way that will make you miss me in that "painful" way. You won't let go but it isn't because you haven't tried.
That is because you have.
You have tried to walk away and you have tried to run.
You have pushed, pulled, begged and screamed but none of them worked.
Neither did making a list of pros and cons. It didn't and doesn't matter if the 'cons' logically outweighed the pros because you can't apply reason and rational thought to affairs of the heart.
The simple truth is that you never stopped loving me. When I fought for your hand and asked you not to go it was easy to find ways to be angry with me and that anger is what you used to pry us apart.
But time has a ways of making the bad things fade and highlighting the good. Time smooths over the wrinkles and shines a light on places that might not have looked so sweet and inviting.
And now you find yourself hiding in the darkness wondering if my words are nothing more than macho talk. Now you wonder what is really going but you won't take those steps into the light without something more. You won't step forward unless I wrap an arm around you and gently carry you forward.
So I'll help you a little bit. I'll tease you some and taunt you with comments about how I tamed you and can do it again. It is part of my own hiding.
That is because I don't need to see you with my eyes. I see you as we have always seen each other with that third eye that hides inside our chest and behind our hearts. I feel you there and I know you aren't going anywhere because you wonder if maybe I am right.
All it took to light that fire was that one kiss and that one kiss would set off a series of sparks that would burn more brightly than before.
You hope and you burn as I do. You ache and you wonder if one day I will come for you and you will see me standing there with my hand outstretched again.
Close your eyes and you find mine staring back at you. Close your eyes and you can feel me standing there and maybe one day you'll open them and really see me.
And when that day comes it will be as if no time had passed and all that we once knew about each other will be there as it ever was except with more depth and intensity than ever before.
Telephone line, if you would pick it up you would find out if you are always on my mind and I might tell you everything or perhaps I might not.
Does it matter. Should we care. Is it worth breaching the walls of Jericho or is it something not worth doing. Those are questions that could be discussed and perhaps should be discussed, but they won't be talked about here and now.
Not today and probably not tomorrow, but soon...maybe.
For now it is time to get some sleep, time to wrap ourselves in a Shmata and think about the things that bring peace and quiet.
Now is the time to close our eyes and dream about how to live our dreams and not dream our lives.
- If You Could Do Anything What Would You Do?
- Using Content To Build Connections
- Different Worlds
- If You Write It They Will Come
- This Is How You Do It
- 3.14 Reasons Why Movies Are More Important Than Pi
Shmata Queen- I know you cannot ignore numbers. More to come on this.
This is a great clip. I am going to take a quote from this piece and use it for the story here and something else I am working on at TheJackB.
Here is the key quote:
"You know, we just don't recognize the most significant moments of lives while they are happening. Back then I thought, Well there'll be other days. I didn't realize that was the only day."
Archibald (Moonlight) Graham
Field of Dreams
Last week I wrote two posts that I am really proud of. They are called Lessons for Being Human and Is It Intuition Or Desire?
I like them because they had a certain flow and feeling that I felt like had been missing from my writing. That feeling is important to me. It is what makes these posts into something more than just words slapped on a page.
Been thinking about a couple of dear old friends and how I rarely speak with them. I know exactly why it is the case with one but there really isn't an excuse for the other. It bothers me, the silence that is. So does the distance.
Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. Though I am blessed with many good friends these are two of the most important and I am concerned.
Things change. People change and friendships evolve.
It is possible that this is what has happened but I am not certain this is so. I love them both so I won't just let them slip away. They are too important.
Should it come to pass that they really are over I will have the knowledge that I did all that I could to save them.
That is important to me. It is part of what helps me sleep at night, that knowledge that I did my best. Sometimes we fall short, but better to try and fail than fail to try.
This was part of Just Write #42. Most of the time you will find these posts on my main blog but today I decided to do things a little bit differently.
That is of especial interest to me for a whole variety of reasons not the least of which is that it validates a personal theory of mine.
The outcome of some of the things that took place during my time abroad will have a significant impact upon my life, regardless of what happens.
But the good news for me is that there is only upside to be seen.
In related news I have decided that I really need to save a couple of bucks for an iPad. It would have been quite useful on the plane and is something that I will use daily.
So just in case the iPad fairy is listening, you know where to send one.
Things you might enjoy reading:
Lessons for Being Human
Things you might enjoy watching
This is a post from my mobile phone. If there are numerous grammatical errors or spelling mistakes please forgive me.
To be perfectly honest, I'm testing this out to see how it works.
This is my first time using the mobile app. But as Yoda says there is no try.
I did not bring my laptop with me, so I am almost completely disconnected.
It is kind of refreshing to be like this. But as you can see, I haven't let go of the collective yet. Or maybe it's the opposite way around. :)
Most of the prep work has been done- ticket has been purchased, clothes have been selected etc. Got a few days before launch and I am excited.
It is good stuff that I am looking at but I would be lying if I said anticipation wasn't making me a little bit crazy. Yet because I am a walking contradiction there is a piece of me that is a bit nervous.
Reminds me a bit of Bruce singing Cautious Man. A couple of sections of the song come to mind:
"Bill Horton was a cautious man of the roadand
He walked lookin' over his shoulder and remained faithful to its code
When something caught his eye he'd measure his need
And then very carefully he'd proceed"
"On his right hand Billy'd tattooed the word love and on his left hand was the word fearIf I have learned one thing in life it is that you can't ever get to where you are going if you aren't willing to walk through the doors that open. Sometimes door number one is the path to glory and sometimes it is not, but you can't figure it out while standing on the outside looking in.
And in which hand he held his fate was never clear"
So I am rolling the dice and giving in to chance and choice to see what happens. Ain't life grand.
Can't say much and won't say much other than if things go the way I expect there will be some pretty big changes. I am excited about it but a bit nervous.
The unknown offers so many possibilities. I choose to look at all this in the most positive way but that doesn't mean that my head isn't spinning a bit with the possibilities.
I like possibilities because they open us up to opportunities and that is a good thing. Life isn't stagnant and you can't ever force time to stop. Can't move backwards so you can only walk forwards into the future and do the best you can to make it what you want.
Got to admit though that I am not as big a flyer as I used to be. Truth is airplane travel wears on me a bit but I am sure that I will get used to it again.
- A Texas father caught a man sexually assaulting his 4-year-old daughter and punched him in the head repeatedly, killing him, authorities said.
Asked whether they would press charges against the father, the sheriff responded, "You have a right to defend your daughter. He acted in defense of his third person. Once the investigation is completed we will submit it to the district attorney who then submits it to the grand jury, who will decide if they will indict him."Follow that up with this video
Harmon described the dad as "very remorseful," adding that he didn't know the man was going to die.
In concept we aren't supposed to take the law into our own hands but when you involve children and heinous crimes things can change dramatically.
It is cluttered, chaotic and in need of some T.L.C.
I suppose it is fair to say that I need to figure out what I want to do with this place.I am not ready to shut it down or close up shop. This is where it all began and I like keeping it around for sentimental reasons.
I expect that I will start by changing templates and tweaking a few things.
What sort of changes would you like to see?
If you want a regular post scroll down to the one below this or hang on and I should have something new up a bit later this evening.
What you are going to find here are a series of ads for different products that I think would make a good Father's Day Gift.
Are you ready? Let's turn this sucker on and see what happens:
Televisions: We have two models to choose from:
Computers: One lap top and one desk top
You can never have too much storage:
How about a camera:
It is too bad the Shmata Queen never got to visit Ritchie's Pizza because if she had she would understand why a post I wrote 15 years a...
Someone once told me that the heart wants what the heart wants. I don’t know if that is a line from a book or a movie, it could be. Then aga...
The GermoPhobe with a capital 'P' in phobe is a man who works on the same floor of my office building. I have seen him around the bu...
(For Fragments of Fiction) "Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend I want to guard your dreams and visions Just wrap your legs rou...