Days Gone By

Dear June,

Been thinking about days gone by and days to come. Been wondering and waiting about a bunch of things but have also been active in trying to make things move faster.

They say that it is always darkest before the dawn but I am not certain if that is entirely accurate. Some people might argue that the darkness never leaves and I would have to concur but that is because I don't think that some people know life without darkness.

Me? I know the difference. I know what it is like to walk in shadow and what it is like to walk in light. I mention this because I know you do too. And I wonder where it is that you are walking now. Are you in darkness or in light. Do you feel the warmth of the sun upon your back or are you in search of it.

Got to tell you that I find some actions to be curious and it reminds me of things I have heard. Reminds me of the girl that told me that I shouldn't pay attention to anything she said in anger because she doesn't always mean it. Reminds me of someone who would claim to be logical and reasonable yet often acted otherwise.

Sometimes it feels like you and I are doing some sort of weird and wacky dance. We may not do it from the same place but we dance together on a regular basis. I see you watching me from a distance and wonder if you wish me to know this or would prefer that I don't. Don't know exactly what you are looking for so I maintain my pseudo-silence and say nothing.

It is sort of funny to me because when you said done, over and never I didn't believe any of it and I am convinced that actions prove me right.

So we dance. We watch and circle each other uncertain of why, where how and what but we do it just because that is what we do. But when I close my eyes I see yours and I remember.

Trust me, I know things.

Happy Thanksgiving

The management of the Shack would like to wish all a Happy Thanksgiving. May it be filled with joy, laughter and love.

We also want to send a general message out to those who understand that a certain someone brought the walls tumbling down. You can wander through the vineyards of life and stare at the grapevines or use biblical terms to form a covenant with a tree and understand that not everything is based upon logic and science.

Sometimes things happen for reasons that no on understands and the best thing to do is not to try and understand or explain them. Just submit and accept. Not always easy but helpful and necessary.

Turkey time is calling so for now I bid you adieu. Enjoy and I will see you on the other side.

Just Write- Perspective

It is another night where I haven't found a way to get to bed before midnight. Another night where my body and soul ache and I wonder what lies around the bend.

That ache I feel fits into the category of hurts so good. There is pleasure and there is pain but just where one ends and the other begins I cannot say.

It is all about perspective. That is something that I have known for a million years or more but knowledge and action are two different things. I keep pushing to make the Nanowrimo story into something meaningful and special. I keep pushing people to read it because it feels like there is something there. It feels like I have captured the thread of something significant but then again I fear that I haven't.

There are relatively few comments on it and though what I have received is positive I can't help but wonder if I lack perspective. I see the story in my head. I don't know all of the details yet. I can't tell you where I am going with it or how long it will take to get there but I know that I am on my way.

But it is possible that the song I am singing isn't the one you hear and the picture I am painting isn't the one that you can see. It is possible that words, thoughts, memories and meanings aren't things that can be told or shared. You might not be able to see what I see and there is nothing that I can do about that.

It shouldn't bother me but I find myself troubled by it and I am not quite sure why. Maybe it is because there is so much going on I haven't the bandwidth left to just let things roll the way I would normally do. It may be that I am just mentally exhausted and that has drained much of my capacity for not caring.

But the again who knows and who sees. Does any of this really matter. The answer is no. It is only matters to me because it does. It is getting late and I find myself spouting gibberish so I am going to link to the other blog and ask people to visit me there as well as here.
But beyond that I encourage you all to Just Write.

Things I Wish You Would Read

Jammed for time. School conferences are this morning as are three meetings for work. Kids are home, roaming around enjoying their freedom from the tyranny of homework, school assignments and a desk.

Dogs are barking and television is blaring. Me, I am trying not to scream. Too much to do in too little time. This is perfection meets chaos meets confusion. I don't want to be part of a bad sitcom but there is a part of me that revels in this chaos.

This blog has evolved and has become a secondary home. It is not where I spend most of the my time but it is somewhere I always come back to. It is like Tara. It is comfort, it is home.

The clock is ticking and I am ready to go running but before I do it is time to share updates. Time to ask you to go read these posts and wait for my return:
  1. Dad Bloggers Get Paid To Blog
  2. Stop Hurting Our Children!
  3. This Post Generated 500 Comments
  4. The Importance of Gratitude
  5. Your Blog Still Bores Me- Improve Your Time Management Skills
  6. When Dad Doesn’t Have All The Answers
  7. Three Stories

Winter Approaches

Dear June,

It is the second week of November and I am busting my ass to try and turn fragments of fiction into a blended tapestry of time, moments and music. Don't know if that means a thing to you but I suspect that it does. Can't say for certain but something tells me that if you read this you will nod your head in many of the same places as I do.

Found myself staring at this post and thinking about the words and damn if I didn't end up laughing. Don't ask me to tell you why or what I see because you either get it or you don't. Blame it on that traditional roles bit- submit and be dominated by your partner, best friend, lover and all that other stuff.

Some might say that too much has happened and too much time has passed but I would say that it would take but a moment to bring it all back. Too much thought and analysis can wreak havoc on hopes and fantasies.

The funny thing about fantasies is that some use that word as if it were some sort of pejorative but others use it in a more complimentary fashion- myself included.

Winter approaches June. I feel the cold in places that aren't suited or built for such things. I feel that ache that makes me blue and suspect that you know exactly how to fix that. Certainly I could find my own cure but I think that your medicine might be more to my liking and mine to yours. The secret sauce could be yours again or maybe not.

That is part of the charm of winter. Sometimes it is a winter wonderland and sometimes it is a frozen wasteland. What do you think?

How Do You Manage Three Blogs

The man looked me in the eye and asked me how I manage three blogs. I smiled and told him that the hardest part is dealing with the egos. TheJackB is an egomaniac who refers to himself in the third person, Random Thoughts is a scattered mess and Words Left Unwritten thinks he is an artist.

He didn't smile, chuckle or even let out a small titter that would make me think he appreciated an attempt at humor. Instead his eyes narrowed and he took a step closer and asked me again in a tone that was bordering on angry how I manage three blogs.

I told him that it wasn't polite to point and asked him how much he would charge to haunt a house because an ugly mug like his should be good for more than just scaring the neighbors. I was rewarded with another glare and made one more attempt to make him smile.

If I didn't have such a thick skin I might have been offended by the way he imitated my every expression and move- damn if he didn't do it perfectly. But then again if it hadn't been perfect I would have been scared because it would have meant that the guy staring back at me in the mirror wasn't me.

Of course I would be lying if I said that I recognized that face in the mirror because the reflection isn't what I see in my head. The hairline is off, the face looks a bit more weathered and worn- where did these lines come from anyway.

Actually the truth is that it is relatively easy for me to manage three blogs. For now TheJackB and Words Left Unwritten receive daily attention but it is not so much that it is unmanageable.

The biggest question I face right now is how to most effectively lay out the story I am putting together on Words Left Unwritten. Haven't decided whether new installments should always receive their own post or if everything should be incorporated into one giant post.

I am leaning to the former because I think it should be easier to manage but I reserve the right to change my mind. Truthfully I'd rather reserve a table at my favorite steak restaurant or sushi bar, but we'll save that for a different time.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

"No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometimes you find
You get what you need"

Mick and the boys shared more than a little wisdom in that song but I cannot say whether it was done intentionally or not.

What I do know is that it ties into a life lesson I was taught my parents and have since passed along to my children. Life isn't fair. It never was and it never will be. You really can't always get what you want, but that is not the important part.

The important part is that last section "and if you try sometimes you find you get what you need." It ties into what I said about dreams requiring action. It is a reminder that the good things in life don't come for free but that doesn't mean that you can't get them.

It is part of why I have taken action to make some of my dreams come true. It is part of why I decided to participate in Nanowrimo. I am trying to step up my game. I have stories to tell and books to write so I am making a push to make that happen.

If you want to share my adventure and be a part of the journey you can do so at Words Left Unspoken. The first step into the unknown and to a new future that remains to be written. See you there.

This is part of the Just Write project.

Pallywood Posts

 I think a bunch of the posts about Pallywood that have been written and or linked here have to be updated. Probably a bunch of bad links, k...