September 09, 2012

Judy's Ghost

When we said we were going to do it we were only kidding. It was supposed to be the kind of joke that couples make.

It wouldn't be funny to anyone else but us and it was. Whenever we talked about doing it we would laugh hard and share that special smile that we saved for each other..

We were going to visit Judy and have sex on her porch or maybe inside her apartment. Can't remember who came up with the idea and why, but we did. And like I said I can't tell you why it was funny nor does it really matter.

It was just something we said we were going to do but it became more than that. It was sort of a catchphrase for doing something ridiculous and silly.

When Judy got sick I told Anne that we ought to think twice about whether doing it would be a way to honor Judy or if it would be disrespectful.

We both knew that wasn't really what we were talking about, but it was just how we dealt with something hard and difficult to talk about.

"It is not like Judy's ghost is going to come haunt or walk in on us."

I laughed and told her that I loved her so much that if I died before she did I would come back to visit her.

"Daniel, that is not funny. I don't know what I would do if you died."

I took her hand and kissed her cheek.

"Anne, you will go live your life and be happy. You will find someone new and move on. Sometimes you will think about me and wonder what could have been, but if you are smart you won't spend your days looking back."

She started to respond and I kissed her so she would stop worrying about it. I don't think that I made her forget, but I distracted her.

Later that night I watched as she slept and promised her that as long as I lived I would do what I could to make her happy and protect her from whatever came, including Judy's ghost.

And then came the day that

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