June 30, 2005

Blogging for Ego, For Experience, For What

One of the things that I love about the blogosphere is that I am a part of community.

Community, not one, but many.

I rise up into the ether and find myself a part of a community of bloggers, of those who share my faith, interests, goals, objectives and so much more.

It is a place that I find fascinating. I frequently speak about how I love the interaction and sometimes the voeyeuristic component of this. I peak into lives and see people who I think are just like and I watch others who are so very different.

I learn about them and myself and I really believe that I am growing, at least that is the hope. I know for certain that this has been a positive experience for me if for no other reason than the outlet it provides as well as the chance to work on my writing. I need the practice.

And I know that the outlet provides me with a certain freedom to say things I might not say and to admit things that I might not otherwise. So here is my confession of the moment.

I check my stats way too frequently. I look at Technorati to see if people have decided that I am a necessary part of their daily diet, have they blogrolled me or have they unblogrolled me. I am interested, but in truth I am more touched when someone writes a post because of something they said, wrote, saw or experienced here.

I am sometimes frustrated when there are no comments, especially on posts where I really feel like I have hit a homerun.

So the reality and the truth is that there is some ego involved here, a bit of a come love me component, but I accept that. Is it wrong to admit this, should I be ashamed that I would like for people to look to my blog for this and that.

I don't think so. I feel a little foolish admitting it, but as I said, this is the place where I let those things out, where the dark corners get to see a little light.

I am still a dreamer, a person who lives in the stars. I am not just a father, not just a mealticket or provider.

I am still that boy who dreams of playing a professional sport, who wanted to be part of some amazing story like a Harry Potter or LOTR book.

Blogging really has done a lot for me, I am truly thankful. And if the time comes when I decide I need to hangup my spikes I likely will not announce it. I will probably avoid making a big deal of it because I don't want a bunch of people begging me to stay and if they do not I will be pissed off and mildly hurt.

Silly ego.

Better to walk away and leave a little mystery to where I have gone and if I will return.

6 comments:

Lyss said...

At least you're willing to admit it.

Air Time said...

telling everyone you are leaving is like listening to your funeral.

From someone who checked stats all day and needed some time to step away from the blog.

Michael said...

Ego comment

Jack's Shack said...

Sometimes you do what you do and that is all that you do.

PsychoToddler said...

You echoed a lot of my sentiments about blogging here. I've gotten to meet some of the "community" recently, which is interesting because in general I'm not looking to make new friends. This is more like "targeted socializing" because I can just interact with people whom I know share my interests. It's more hit or miss (mostly miss) in real life.

And a really interesting by-product (one which you don't get by being anonymous) is discovering that people whom I actually know are much more like me than I thought.

Jack's Shack said...

This is more like "targeted socializing"

That is a good way of describing it.