A Quick Round Up

It is time for a short recap of some of the posts that have appeared here recently. On a side note I realize that the posts here have been a little weak lately. I am working on it.

South Park Superfriends
The Most Popular Story in the Jblogosphere
Telling The Kids That You Are Going To Die
This Made Me Smile
Caught My Eye- Hookers, Robots & More
When Does A Cow Not Say Moo
Magazine Renewals
Creative Writing
Midnight Hour Musings
What is Your Dream Job?

And your blast from the past:

Why I Blog
How I Became a Blogger

South Park Superfriends

This made me chuckle.



Related to this post.

The Most Popular Story in the Jblogosphere

The Most Popular Story in the Jblogosphere is the Hulk Hogan video about Kashrut. Orieyenta picked up on this last November. But within the last two weeks I have seen the video running on more than 27 Jblogs, including my own.

And that is why I am declaring it to be January's most popular story in the Jblogosphere. If you haven't seen it here it is again.

A Lack Of Judgement

Life is not black and white. Sometimes you need to take a step back and carefully consider your actions. This story just makes me shake my head.

TAMPA, Florida (AP) -- A college student who told police she had been raped was jailed for two days after officers found an old warrant accusing her of failing to pay restitution for a 2003 theft arrest.

While she was behind bars, a jail worker refused to give her a second dose of the morning-after contraceptive pill because of the worker's religious convictions, the college student's attorney said.

The 21-year-old woman was released Monday only after attorney Vic Moore reported her plight to the local media.

"Shocked. Stunned. Outraged. I don't have words to describe it," Moore said. "She is not a victim of any one person. She is a victim of the system. There's just got to be some humanity involved when it's a victim of rape."

Moore said the young woman was not allowed to take the second emergency contraceptive pill until Monday afternoon, a day late, after reporters called police and jail officials.

Tampa Police Chief Steve Hogue said the arrest led to a new policy Tuesday that tells officers not to arrest a crime victim who has suffered injury or mental trauma whenever "reasonably possible." The agency also apologized to the student.

"Obviously, any policy that allows a sexual battery victim to spend a night in jail is a flawed policy," police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said.

The woman is not being identified by The Associated Press because she reported being the victim of a sex crime.

Tampa attorney Jennifer D'Angelo, who represents the jail worker, said Tuesday that her client is prohibited from giving inmates any medication without specific orders. The worker insists she never discussed religion with the woman who reported being raped."

Telling The Kids That You Are Going To Die

GRAYSLAKE, Illinois (AP) -- Seven-year-old Nicholas Chamernik had rarely seen his parents cry. So he felt a pang of worry when he looked up one evening to see his father wiping away tears.

"Dad, what's wrong?" he asked.

Jim Chamernik was too choked up to respond. After 18 months of grasping for answers, he and his wife, Aimee, finally had an explanation for symptoms Aimee had been having -- slurred speech and weakness in her right arm among them. The diagnosis was Lou Gehrig's disease, a degenerative condition of the nervous system, also known as ALS.

There is no cure. But how could they explain that to their eldest son, the first in the family to notice his mom's slurring, when she read him bedtime stories?

How, they wondered, do you tell a child that his mom is dying?

Wow. That has got to be so darn hard. I can't imagine being placed in that position.

This Made Me Smile

If you find flying the friendly skies to be challenging because of annoying seat mates you could try this. Just be prepared for the consequences. Oy.


(P.S. This is not an endorsement of said practice. My in-house counsel made me write that.)

Caught My Eye- Hookers, Robots & More

Robot Parking Garage to Open in New York

Would you trust a robot to park your car? The question will confront New Yorkers in February as the city's first robotic parking opens in Chinatown. The technology has had a good track record overseas, but the only other public robotic garage in the United States has been troublesome, dropping vehicles and trapping cars because of technical glitches.

Related: Volkswagen Storage Facility

Woman MP demands hookers for the troops

A top female politician ín Holland wants Dutch prostitutes sent abroad with the troops to help them relax.

Annemarie Jorritsma, a politician for the centre-right People's Party for Freedom and Democracy (VVD) and the mayor of the town of Almere, went on national Dutch TV to demand the 'extra benefits' for soldiers.

She added: "The army must think about how their soldiers can let off some steam."

How about some PandaMonium.

When Does A Cow Not Say Moo

I love this kind of stuff.

Animals make much the same sounds around the world, but each language expresses them differently. English and French cows sound the same, but not in English and French! Explore the sounds of the world's languages through the sounds of the world's animals.

Example:

Afrikaans: moe-moe

Albanian: mu

Arabic (Algeria): mooooooo

Bengali: hamba

Catalan: muuuu

Chinese (Mandarin): mu mu

Croatian: muuuu

Danish: muh

Dutch: boeh

English: moo

English (Old English): Oxa hlewð.

Esperanto: muu

Estonian: muu

Finnish: ammuu

French: meuh

German: mmuuh

Greek: moo

Hebrew: moo

Hindi: mo:-mo:

This information comes from the website of:

Catherine N. Ball
Associate Professor, Department of Linguistics
Georgetown University
Washington DC 20057
ballc@georgetown.edu
http://www.georgetown.edu/cball/

Magazine Renewals

I subscribe to about six different magazines. Newsweek, PC World, Consumer Reports, Better Homes and Gardens and a couple of others. I am good about reading them. It is rare that I don't spend some quiet time flipping through and not unusual for me to read them from cover to cover.

Frankly I spend too much time here at the PC so it gives me another excuse to get away and disconnect from the net. There is something quite nice about sitting in an overstuffed chair to do nothing but read.

There are a couple of problems with that. The first is trying to find the quiet moments in which do said reading. The second is that every time I open a magazine I spend the next ten minutes cleaning up the 27 subscription cards that pop out. That leads me to my next comment.

Is it just me or does every magazine begin soliciting a renewal from you two weeks after your subscription begins. Newsweek does this all the time. I sign up for a year and then three weeks into the new year they begin bombarding me with special offers for renewing my subscription.

It makes me wonder how much money they spend on filling the magazine with content I want to read versus how much they spend to try and grab more eyeballs. There is something not quite right with this formula.

Creative Writing

I enjoy writing. If I could figure out a way to support a family by being a full time writer I probably would, especially if it meant being a full time blogger. I love doing this.

I also very much enjoy writing stories about all sorts of stuff. It may come as a surprise to some of you, but some of the things that appear here are fiction. Now that I have switched over to the Beta version I am labeling them as Fragments of Fiction.

If you are interested in reading any of it here is a link to a story that I have been working on for quite some time as well as a couple of pieces that I enjoy.

He Put a Gun To My Head
Stumbling Through Life
Me & The UItimate Fighter- Road Rage
Sometimes the hardest part of life is just living
Two Kinds of Pain
The Story of Two Souls
Fragments of Fiction- Version 178

Midnight Hour Musings

I am a night owl. During my college years I would routinely be up almost all night and then sleep until about 11 am or so. Sometimes it was because I was out with the boys, but more often than not it was because I enjoy this time of day.

It is quiet. Here in the dark I gain perspective on the events of the day. Sometimes my perspective is colored by the time. Sometimes the things that bother me feel worse, but that is not a frequent occurrence.

Even now years removed from college my inclination is to be up until 2 or 3. It is not so easily done. There are so many responsibilities. It is not just the kids or work, but the combination of the two. This leads me to my next complaint.

My fragile male ego is having trouble dealing with aging. I truly don't get too riled up at my hair loss. It is thinning, but I am no where close to bald. What bothers me is the gym. In particular running at the gym on the basketball court. I seem to be losing a step.

Some of it can be attributed to carrying extra weight, but not all of it. I am noticeably slower. Guys who shouldn't be able to blow by me are pulling away from me and those that used to be slower seem to be keeping up. I am working on a solution for this, but I am not real sure that I can take a 38 year old body that has been used and abused and turn it into a 25 year old. Not when it comes to speed. I can do it in a number of areas, but speed is doubtful.

Life at home has its moments. There is nothing like the terrible twos. Today we got to play all sorts of fun games. There was let's pee on dad's side of the bed and then there was let's poop in the tub.

On a side note I have an issue with the various words we use for our bathroom business. Maybe I'll stop and blog about it. Nah, I'll just include it here.

sca·tol·o·gy (sk-tl-j)

n.

1. The study and analysis of feces for physiological and diagnostic purposes. Also called coprology.

2. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions.

3. The psychiatric study of such an obsession.

The words we use for this particular function are missing something. The expressions just don't ring true. Here is a short list of things you hear people say. If this is TMI kindly skip to the next post. It goes something like this:

I am going to take a ______________________.

Words that could be inserted in the blank include: Dump, bowel movement, shit, poop, crap, dukie, and or dootie.

Sorry, none of them work for me. Doesn't mean that I don't use some or all of them, but there is something not quite right there.

Moving on to the next post now.

Why Mixed Dancing At Weddings Is a Bad Idea

Sidenote: This is still better than these guys.

Stories That Caught My Eye

Caffeinated Pastries- Add To the health score of your cravings.

DURHAM. N.C. Jan 27, 2007 (AP)— That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That's what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he's developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

Doc Prescribes Penis Therapy

She was a 19-year-old trainee nurse when, suffering from depression, she was referred to a psychiatrist called William Kerr.In the privacy of the consulting room, she says, the doctor exposed himself to her, saying that 'this is what you need'.

The Best Public Restrooms in America

CINCINNATI, OH, April 20, 2006 – The finest restroom in America is at a Wendell’s restaurant in Westerville, Ohio - says the Internet public who cast online ballots in the 5th annual “America’s Best Restroom” contest presented by Cincinnati-based Cintas Corporation (Nasdaq: CTAS),

Calling Her A Baby Making Machine Is Not Wise

Yanagisawa calls women 'birth-giving machines'

MATSUE, Shimane Pref. (Kyodo) Health minister Hakuo Yanagisawa referred to women as "birth-giving machines" in a speech Saturday on welfare and health care.

Addressing prefectural assembly members of the Liberal Democratic Party in Matsue, the 71-year-old Yanagisawa touched on the nation's declining birthrate and said, "The number of women aged between 15 and 50 is fixed. Because the number of birth-giving machines and devices is fixed, all we can ask for is for them to do their best per head, although it may not be so appropriate to call them machines."

Something tells me that these types of comments are unlikely to be well received.

What is Your Dream Job?

Very few of us are Trust Fund Babies so it is safe to say that the overwhelming majority of readers are employed or were at one time. Sadly, relatively few of us have the opportunity to work in our dream job.

Sometimes that is because you do not know what that would be. And sometimes it is just because you haven't found a way to live your dream.

My question for you now is what is your dream job? If you are not currently doing it what do you intend to do to rectify that situation?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Haveil Havalim #104

To Life, To Life, L'Chaim. L'Chaim, L'Chaim for Haveil Havalim. Sorry bud, doesn't make a great song. But it does serve as a great Haveil Havalim.

A Quick Comment about Labels

One of the reasons that I switched to the new blogger is that I very much wanted to be able to use labels. I have long wanted to have some sort of categorization of my posts. I like being able to refer back to older posts and the labels make it much easier to filter and sort.

Of course it is still a major pain-in-the-ass to try and go back and label all of my old crap, but what can you do.

Also, I have found that I am not really sure how to label some posts. Random Thoughts is designed to be a bit of a catchall, but at the same time I would like to try and be specific. Again I will be sure to keep you posted.

Blogger Beta- Part Deux

In between comforting the beautiful 2.5 year old girl in my arms I have been trying to take advantage of the quiet to do some more blog work. In doing so I noticed that when I migrated from old Blogger to the new one some of the comments were affected.

Specifically it seems to have knocked out the names of some commenters and made them anonymous. I can't tell you why, just that it happened.

Also, I seem to have screwed up some of the labels. What that means is that some of my posts have an inaccurate label on them. It is kind of irritating, but there are worse things.

I'll keep you posted as things go along.

Blogger Beta

I finally made the switch. Am slowly going through old posts to label them. Thus far I haven't encountered too many glitches, but I am still holding my breath.

Titanic: The Sequel To The Movie

Audio Blogging

it has been a good three or four months since my last audio post. Since audio blogger is no longer available I no longer have a service to use. Does anyone have a recommendation?

Pictures That Blow My Mind

Click Here

P.S. Soccer Dad has some good links too.

Monty Python Meets Star Wars

Some Old Posts Revisited

The post below this is really important, but so very heavy I felt the need to end on a slightly different note. Here are some older posts that some of you probably haven't seen but might enjoy reading.

My Son Speaks to G-d But He Doesn't Answer
Some Things I'll Teach My Children
Death- My Son Asked Me Not to Die
What Brings You Joy?
A Boy Named Mookie
The Search For Answers About Our Ourselves

The Future Of Israel/Judaism

Daniel Gordis released another dispatch. It is worth reading the whole thing, but for now try this.

"Jimmy Carter writes a book calling Israel an Apartheid state, and despite the numerous reviews which point to the book’s unfairness and numerous errors of fact, the book rockets to the bestseller list. In the United States, not Egypt. It should be lost on no one that people tend to buy books that espouse positions with which they agree.

Who cares how Jimmy Carter tosses the Apartheid word around? We should care. Recall the comments of Jostein Gaarder, the author of “Sophie's World” and a well known Norwegian intellectual. Gaarder didn’t like Israel’s policies during this summer’s war in Lebanon. His reaction? “We could not recognize the Apartheid regime,” he recalls about South Africa, so therefore, “We no longer recognize the State of Israel. We need to get used to the idea: The State of Israel, in its current form, is history.”

When any other country in the world does something people object to, they object to the leader, or the policy. Does anyone opposing the war in Iraq say that the United States no longer has a right to exist? Or that Britain ought to be dismembered? Or that Turkey (an aptly named country if there ever was one) should be shunned because of its treatment of political opposition and its denial of the Armenian genocide?

One hundred and ten years after Herzl, Zionism has not brought normalcy to the Jews. Not in Israel, and not in Europe. Just ask the Jews of France, where the police removed Jewish kids from the Champs Elysees because they couldn’t keep them safe from the mobs of Muslim teenagers (how’s that for a repeat of a European precedent?). Or in Germany, where the first rabbi ordained since the war recently noted that he can’t wear a kippah in public because the far right now knows that they own the streets?

Israel has progressed, but the world hasn’t changed much. Normalcy hasn’t come. And it isn’t likely to. Exit Herzl and Nordau. Enter the desperation.

When faced with the realization that Zionism has brought neither safe refuge nor normalcy to the Jewish people, how hard is it to understand state of Israelis’ morale? “What’s the fight about?” they ask. If the experiment called the State of Israel still leaves us vulnerable both at home and throughout the world, why pay the price? Why send generation after generation to the front, with thousands of mothers and fathers waiting up at night, night after night after night, anxiously waiting for their son to call, so they’ll know he made it back once again? If we got security, or normalcy, then maybe it would be worth it. But all this, just to remain vulnerable? All this, just to remain the only country in the world without a right to be?

It’s not hard to understand the fact that there are no protesters in the streets. This is something way too big for mere protests.

The issue, of course, isn’t really Israel, or even Zionism. It’s the Jews. Again. Amos Oz has written with sadness about the irony that when his father was growing up in Europe, he saw signs that said “Jews Go Home to Palestine,” but that when he, Amos, was growing up in Palestine, the signs said “Jews out of Palestine.” Oz, one of Israel’s best known left-wing intellectuals, summarizes the unavoidable point. “Don’t be here. Don’t be there. In short, don’t be.” An exaggeration? I don’t think so. What did Gaarder call his editorial objecting to Israel’s military policy, claiming that Israel is now “history”? “God’s Chosen People.” How on earth is the issue of Israel’s conduct of the Lebanon war connected to “God’s Chosen People,” unless the issue really isn’t Israel?

It’s not.

Which leaves us with a decision – the Jews have to decide, once again, if we want to survive. If we want to make it, then we need to rekindle one of the basic premises of Zionism, and take matters into our own hands. It’s not enough to simply feel that we’re back where we started, 110 years ago. The question is what we’re going to do about it. The question is, how do we restore hope?

Amazingly, very few people, either in Israel or beyond, are talking about that. The tragedy of today’s situation is that you ask young American Jews to free associate with the word “Israel,” the first thing you’re likely to hear is “Palestinians,” or “war,” or “fence.” But the State wasn’t created for any of these things. Most young Jews, both in Israel and outside, can’t say an intelligent word about why the State was created. They might mention the Shoah. Or the refuge issue. But they’ll miss the major point – that the purpose of Israel was not Statehood. It was hope.

They don’t know, anymore, that the Zionist movement, and then the State, took as its national anthem a poem called “The Hope.” They know the melody, and Israelis know the words. But they have no idea what it’s about. They can’t begin to articulate the notion that Israel represented to Jews across the globe, after the worst century we’d known, life over death. Continuity instead of extermination. A homeland instead of exile. Rebirth instead of extinction.

They’re so consumed with the plight of the Palestinians (a horrific plight, obviously, that has to be addressed – as soon as the Palestinians make that their priority) that they don’t resonate at all to the pride Jews once felt about the rescue of Ethiopian Jews, or the rescue at Entebbe, or the technological prowess of Israeli companies, or by the now stereotypical tanned and hardened Israeli youth, stark contrasts to the common portrayal of Europe’s Jews as pale and passive. They don’t understand that it’s because hope – life over death – was at the core of this country that explains why there are still huge book fairs in this country, celebrating the mere simple fact that thousands of books are published each year in a language that 150 years ago, virtually no one in the world spoke. It was why dance became an integral part of this culture, and why Jews got excited about a song celebrating a sprinkler, written when the National Water Carrier project was completed. What person in their right mind sings about a sprinkler? Who dances to the idea of a sprinkler? Jews did, and do, when the sprinkler brings water from the north to the south, when it bring life to the desert, when it bespeaks not just the flow of water, but the possibility of hope when there could have been nothing but despair.

Songs like that strike our kids’ generation as kitsch, as relics of an era that’s long since gone. But we can’t afford the cynicism. What strikes them as kitsch was what struck Jews a generation ago as rebirth. If today’s Jews are ambivalent about the image of the Jew as soldier, other Jews understood until recently that the Jew as soldier, with all the complexity it would entail, meant that finally, Jews would determine their own fate. If there’s anything that Lebanon II, Iran, Judt, Gaarder, Carter and all the rest have in common, it’s that they afford us a reminder that once again, this place called hope, needs to take control of its destiny,.

If the government is hopelessly corrupt, then it won’t be enough to topple it (it will do that on its own). We’d better build an institution, maybe like Harvard’s Kennedy School, or France’s Ecole Nationale d'Administration, to finally train a decent cadre of leaders. If the system’s broken, let’s fix it.

If it’s unthinkable that more than half the world’s Jews could live in Ahmadenijad’s crosshairs, then we’d better figure out what we’re going to do. The world won’t stop him. Will we? What kind of power would we be willing to use to put an end to Iran’s nuclear capabilities? Would be it moral to use weapons we’ve never used if that’s what it would take? Would be it moral not to, if the future of the Jewish people is at stake? How much are the Jews willing to do in order to survive?

Hizbollah has no territorial quarrel with Israel, but still went to war. Hamas doesn’t recognize Israel’s right to exist, and says that it never will. Why the hand-wringing? Let’s pick borders, and defend them. That much, at least, Sharon understood. The rest of the world doesn’t like unilateralism? What, exactly, does the world actually like about us? The question ought not be what the world wants. The question is whether Zionism can reassert the basic question – what do we want?

We want a Jewish country, and we want a democracy. And we’ve got a huge Arab minority that is growing. Are we going to do something about that, something morally defensible? Can we have a State that is both Jewish and that is democratic? What would it take to have both? It wouldn’t be easy, and it wouldn’t all be pretty, but it could be done. Do we want to survive badly enough to start? Or even to ask the question?

Or how about poverty? Or an educational system badly in need of repair? Or the slave trade of women in this country? Does anyone really think that a state can generate hope without tackling those issues? Do we have it ourselves to roll up our sleeves and to get to work? Would it help if we understood finally that it’s not only about poor people, or literacy, or helpless women – but that it’s about hope, about a future? About the survival of the Jewish people?"

Read the whole thing. There is an awful lot to digest.

Iraq

Playing in the background Marvin Gaye singing "What's Going On"

"Mother, mother
There's too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There's far too many of you dying
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today - Ya

Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today"

It is a nice sentiment, I truly like it. The problem is that I don't believe that love conquers all. I wish that I could. I wish that I believed that people really could beat their swords into plowshares, but I don't. Some will lay down their weapons. Some will gladly reach across the lines and shake hands. But the problem is that there are people standing on the other side of the divide who will smile as they cut off your head. And that leads me into Iraq.

Iraq, Iraq, Iraq. I supported going in and even when we didn't find the WMDs I supported the war. But now I am not sure what to think. There is no doubt that things are bad there. I read enough alternative sources of news to know that there are success stories and that in some ways it is not as bad as it sounds.

That is not the issue. The question I ask myself is whether there are people there who are truly interested in what we have to offer. Are the huddled masses yearning to breathe free or are we just placing American soldiers in harms way for a limited return.

I have no doubt that countries like Iran are doing all that they can to foment discord and chaos. I am sure that they are working hard to create an untenable situation. But I wonder what we are doing to combat that.

In short, I am wondering what we are doing. I am not saying that we should cut and run. But I'd like to hear a coherent explanation of what we are doing and what we are trying to achieve. Right now it feels a bit like the ship is sailing according to the current and not per the captain's wishes and that is an uncomfortable feeling.

I just don't know.

"Hulk Hogan's Kosher Barbecue"

The Peaceful Majority

Benning has a post that provides plenty of food for thought. Click here to read it.

A Quick Roundup of Posts From the Shack

If you blink you might miss two or three posts so here are links to some recent posts.

A Few Posts That Caught My Eye
867-5309
Tuesday Night Tunes
Rappers Delight
John Cusack Movies That I Can Watch Over And Over
The Jesus Diet
How To Boil Water
What Is Your Favorite Topic To Blog About?
Cemetery Blogging
Today is Link to Jack Day

A Few Posts That Caught My Eye

The Olympics

The Secret To Happiness

Just Three Posts Before I Go

High School Confidential

867-5309

Raise your hand if you recognized that number. You're old like me. ;)

Tuesday Night Music

Here is a list of the tunes of the evening.

Feeling Alright
Joe Cocker
Hey Joe
Jimi Hendrix
Life in the Fast Lane
The Eagles
Joey
Concrete Blonde
Ode To Billy Joe
Bobbie Gentry
Baby Grand (Duet With Ray Charles)
Billy Joel with Ray Charles
And So It Goes
Billy Joel
Goodnight Saigon
Billy Joel
Time Of The Season
The Zombies
Tomorrow People
Ziggy Marley
Heart Full of Soul
The Yardbirds
Behind Blue Eyes
The Who
Everyone Have Fun Tonight
Wang Chung
Whenever God Shines His Light
Van Morrison
I Love A Piano
Tony Bennett
Runnin Down A Dream
Tom Petty
Proud Mary
Tina and Ike Turner
Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)
Toby Keith
Everybody Wants To Rule The World
Tears for Fears
Mr. Roboto
Styx

Rapper's Delight

Rapper's Delight- So Many Memories tied up in this. How many of you know the lyrics?

(Wonder Mike)
I said a hip, a hop, the hippie, the hippie
To the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
The rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
Now what you hear is not a test - I'm rappin to the beat
And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet
Ya see: I am Wonder Mike and I like to say hello
To the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow
But first I gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie
Say up jump the boogie to the bang bang boogie
Let's rock, you don't stop
Rock the rhythm that will make your body rock
Well, so far you've heard my voice but I brought two friends along
And next on the mike is my man Hank:
Come on, Hank, sing that song

(Performed by Big Bank Hank but written by Grandmaster Caz)
Check it out, I'm the C-A-S, an' the O-V-A
And the rest is F-L-Y
Ya see: I go by the code of the doctor of the mix
And these reasons I'll tell ya why
Ya see: I'm six foot one and I'm tons of fun
And I dress to a T
Ya see: I got more clothes than Muhammad Ali and I dress so viciously
I got bodyguards, I got two big cars
That definitely ain't the wack
I got a Lincoln Continental and a sunroof Cadillac
So after school, I take a dip in the pool
Which is really on the wall
I got a color TV, so I can see
The Knicks play basketball
Hear me talkin bout checkbooks, credit cards
More money than a sucker could ever spend
But I wouldn't give a sucker or a bum from the rucker
Not a dime til I made it again
Ya go: Hotel, Motel, whatcha gonna do today? (say what?)
Ya say: I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spankin,
Drive off in a def O.J.
Everybody go: Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn
Say: If your girl starts acting up, then you take her friend
Master Gee, am I mellow?
It's on you so what you gonna do?

(Master Gee)
Well it's on n on n on on n on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn
I said M-A-S, T-E-R, a G with a double E
I said I go by the unforgettable name
Of the man they call the Master Gee
Well, my name is known all over the world
By all the foxy ladies and the pretty girls
I'm goin down in history
As the baddest rapper there ever could be
Now I'm feelin the highs and ya feelin the lows
The beat starts gettin into your toes
Ya start poppin ya fingers and stompin your feet
And movin' your body while you're sittin in your seat
And then: Damn! Ya start doin the freak
I said: Damn! Right outta your seat
Then ya throw your hands high in the air
Ya rockin to the rhythm, shake your derriere
Ya rockin to the beat without a care
With the sureshot MC:s for the affair
Now, I'm not as tall as the rest of the gang
But I rap to the beat just the same
I got a little face and a pair of brown eyes
All I'm here to do ladies is hypnotize
Singin on n n on n on n on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn
Singin on n n on n on on n on
Like a hot buttered a pop da pop da pop dibbie dibbie
Pop da pop pop ya don't dare stop,
Come alive y'all - gimme what ya got
I guess by now you can take a hunch
And find that i am the baby of the bunch
But that's okay - I still keep in stride
Cause all I'm here to do is just wiggle your behind
Singin on n n on n on n on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn
Singin on n n on n on on n on
Rock rock y'all, throw it on the floor
I'm gonna freak ya here, I'm gonna freak ya there
I'm gonna move you outta this atmosphere
Cause I'm one of a kind and I'll shock your mind
I'll put tic-tic-tickets in your behind
I said 1-2-3-4, come on girls get on the floor
A-come alive y'all, a-gimme what ya got
Cause I'm guaranteed to make you rock
I said 1-2-3-4 tell me Wonder Mike what are you waitin for?

(Wonder Mike)
I said a hip hop, the hippie to the hippie
The hip hip hop, a you dont stop
The rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat
Skidelee beebop a we rock a scooby doo
And guess what America: we love you!
Cause ya rock and ya roll with so much soul,
You could rock till you're a hundred and one years old
I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast
But we like hot butter on our breakfast toast
Rock it up, baby bubbah
Baby bubbah to the boogie da bang bang da boogie
To the beat beat, it's so unique
Come on everybody and dance to the beat
I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
To the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
Rock it out baby bubbah to the boogie da bang bang
The boogie to the boogie da beat
I said I can't wait til the end of the week
When I'm rappin to the rhythm of a groovy beat
And attempt to raise your body heat
Just blow your mind so that you can't speak
And do a thing but a rock and shuffle your feet
And let it change up to a dance called the freak
And when ya finally do come in to your rhythmic beat
Rest a little while so ya dont get weak
I know a man named Hank
He has more rhymes than a serious bank
So come on Hank, sing that song
To the rhythm of the boogie da bang bang da bong

(Performed by Big Bank Hank but Written by Grandmaster Caz)
Well, I'm Imp the Dimp, the ladies pimp
The women fight for my delight
But I'm the grandmaster with the three MC:s
That shock the house for the young ladies
And when you come inside, into the front
You do the freak, spank, and do the bump
And when the sucker MC:s try to prove a point
We're a treacherous trio, we're the serious joint
From sun to sun and from day to day
I sit down and write a brand new rhyme
Because they say that miracles never cease
I've created a devastating masterpiece
I'm gonna rock the mike til you can't resist
Everybody! I say it goes like this:
Well I was comin home late one dark afternoon
Reporter stopped me for a interview
She said she's heard stories and she's heard fables
That I'm vicious on the mike and the turntables
This young reporter I did adore
So I rocked a vicious rhyme like i never did before
She said "Damn, fly guy! I'm in love with you!
The Casanova legend must have been true!"
I said "By the way baby, what's your name?"
She said "I go by the name of Lois Lane,
And you could be my boyfiend, you surely can
Just let me quit my boyfriend called Superman"
I said "He's a fairy, I do suppose -
Flyin through the air in pantyhose
He may be very sexy or even cute
But he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit!"
I said "You need a man who's got finesse
And his whole name across his chest
He may be able to fly all through the night
But can he rock a party til the early light?
He can't satisfy you with his little worm
But I can bust you out with my super sperm"
I go: Do it! I go: Do it! I go: Do it, do it, do it!
And I'm here, and I'm there, I'm Big Bank Hank, I'm everywhere
Just throw your hands up in the air
And party hardy like you just don't care
Let's do it, don't stop y'all, a-tick-a-tock y'all, you don't stop
I go: Hotel, Motel, whatcha gonna do today? (Say what?)
I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spank, drive off in a def O.J.
Everybody go: Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn
You say: If your girl starts actin up, then you take her friend
I say skip, dive, what can I say?
I can't fit em all inside my O.J.
So I just take half and bust them out
I give the rest to Master Gee, so he could shock the house

(Master Gee)
It was twelve o'clock one Friday night
I was rockin to the beat, and feelin all right
Everybody was dancin on the floor
Doin' all the things they never did before
And then this fly fly girl with a sexy lean
She came into the bar, she came into the scene
As she traveled deeper inside the room
All the fellas checked out her white sassoon
She came up to the table, looked into my eyes
Then she turned around and shook her behind
So I said to myself, "It's time for me to release
My vicious rhyme, I call my masterpiece"
And now people in the house, this is just for you
A little rap to make you boogaloo
Now the group ya hear is called Phase Two
And let me tell ya somethin: we're a helluva crew
Once a week we're on the street
Just a-cuttin' the jams and making it free
For you to party ya got to have the moves
So we'll get right down and give you the groove
For you to dance you gotta be hype
So we'll get right down and make you rock
Now the system's on and the girls are there
Ya definitely have a rockin affair
But let me tell ya somethin there's still one fact:
That to have a party, ya got to have a rap
So when the party's over, you're makin it home
And tryin' to sleep before the break of dawn
And while ya sleepin' ya start to dream
And thinkin' how ya danced on the disco scene
My name appears in your mind
Yeah, a name you know that was right on time
It was Phase Two just a doin a do
Rockin' ya down cause ya know we could
To the rhythm of the beat that makes ya freak
Come alive girls, get on your feet
To the rhythm of the beat to the beat the beat
To the double beat beat that it makes ya freak
To the rhythm of the beat that says ya go on
On n on into the break of dawn
Now I got a man comin on right now
He's guaranteed to throw down
He goes by the name of Wonder Mike
Come on Wonder Mike, do what ya like

(Wonder Mike)
I say: A can of beer that's sweeter than honey,
Like a millionaire that has no money,
Like a rainy day that is not wet,
Like a gambling fiend that does not bet,
Like Dracula without his fangs,
Like the boogie to the boogie without the boogie bang,
Like collard greens that don't taste good,
Like a tree that's not made out of wood,
Like goin up and not comin down,
Is just like the beat without the sound no sound
To the beat beat, ya do the freak
Everybody just rock and dance to the beat
Have you ever went over a friend's house to eat
And the food just ain't no good?
I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed
And the chicken tastes like wood
So you try to play it off like you think you can
By sayin' that you're full
And then your friend says: "Momma, he's just being polite
He ain't finished - uh uh, that's bull!"
So your heart starts pumpin and you think of a lie
And you say that you already ate
And your friend says: "Man - there's plenty of food!"
So you pile some more on your plate
While the stinky foods steamin, your mind starts to dreamin
Of the moment that it's time to leave
And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin
Into something that looks like cheese
So you say: "That's it - I got to leave this place
I don't care what these people think
I'm just sittin here makin myself nauseous
With this ugly food that stinks"
So you bust out the door while it's still closed
Still sick from the food you ate
And then you run to the store for quick relief
From a bottle of Kaopectate
And then you call your friend two weeks later
To see how he has been
And he says: "I understand about the food,
Baby bubbah, but we're still friends"
With a hip hop the hippie to the hippie
The hip hip a hop a you don't stop the rockin
To the bang bang boogie
Say up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat
I said: Hank? Can ya rock?
Can ya rock to the rhythm that just dont stop?
Can ya hip me to the shoobie doo?
I said: Come on make the make the people move

(Performed by Big Bank Hank but Written by Grandmaster Caz)
I go to the halls and then ring the bell
Because I am the man with the clientele
And if ya ask me why I rock so well
A big bank, I got clientele
And from the time I was only six years old
I never forgot what I was told
It was the best advice that I ever had,
It came from my wise dear old dad
He said: "Sit down punk, I wanna talk to you
And don't say a word until I'm through
Now there's a time to laugh, a time to cry
A time to live and a time to die
A time to break and a time to chill
To act civilized or act real ill
But whatever ya do in your lifetime
Ya never let a MC steal your rhyme"
So from sixty six til this very day
I'll always remember what he had to say
So when the sucker MC:s try to chump my style
I let them know that I'm versatile
I got style, finesse and a little black book
That's filled with rhymes and I know you wanna look
But there's a thing that separates you from me
And that's called originality
Because my rhymes are on from what you heard
I didn't even bite and not a god damn word
And I say a little more later on tonight
So the sucker MC:s can bite all night
A-tick-a-tock y'all, a beat beat y'all
A lets rock y'all, ya don't stop
Ya go: Hotel, Motel, whatcha gonna do today? (Say what?)
Ya say: I'm gonna get a fly girl, gonna get some spankin, drive off in a def OJ
Everybody go: Hotel Motel, Holiday Inn
Ya say: If your girl starts acting up, then you take her friends
A like that y'all to the beat y'all
Beat beat y'all ya don't stop
A Master Gee? Am I mellow?
It's on you so whatcha gonna do

(Master Gee)
Well like Johnny Carson on the late show
A like Frankie Croker in stereo
Well like The Barkays singing "Holy Ghost"
The sounds to throw down, they're played the most
It's like my man Captain Sky
Whose name he earned with his super sperm
We rock and we don't stop
Get off y'all, I'm here to give you whatcha got
To the beat that it makes you freak
And come alive girl get on your feet
A like a Perry Mason without a case
Like Farrah Fawcett without her face
Like The Barkays on the mike
Like gettin right down for you tonight
Like movin your body so ya don't know how
Right to the rhythm and throw down
Like comin alive to the Master Gee
The brother who rocks so viciously
I said the age of one my life begun
At the age of two I was doin the do
At the age of three it was you and me
Rockin' to the sounds of the Master Gee
At the age of four I was on the floor
Givin' all the freaks what they bargained for
At the age of five I didn't take no jive
With the Master Gee it's all the way live
At the age of six I was a pickin up sticks
Rappin to the beat my stick was fixed
At the age of seven I was rockin in heaven dontcha know I went off
I got right on down to the beat you see
Gettin' right on down makin all the girls
Just take off their clothes to the beat the beat
To the double beat beat that makes you freak
At the age of eight I was really great
Cause every night you see I had a date
At the age of nine I was right on time
Cause every night I had a party rhyme
Goin' on n n on n on on n on
The beat don't stop until the break of dawn
A sayin' on n n on n on on n on
Like a hot buttered de pop de pop de pop
A saying on n n on n on on n on
A rock rock y'all, gimme whatcha got
Cause I'm a helluva man when I'm on the mike
I am the definite feast delight
I'm a helluva man when I'm on the mike
I am the definate feast delight
Come and meet the Master Gee you see
The brother who rocks so viciously
I'm gonna freak you here, I'm gonna do you there
I'm gonna move you out of this atmosphere
Cos I'm on, all time, and I'll shock your mind ..... (inaudible)
Master Gee, gettin it on
Takin' all the girls
(fade out)

John Cusack Movies That I Can Watch Over and Over

Serendipity
High Fidelity
Being John Malkovich
Grosse Pointe Blank
Say Anything
Better Off Dead

The Jesus Diet

You'll forgive me for laughing at these people.

PLANT CITY - Roger Swanson wants to walk again. Daina Roughgarden hopes to rid her body of nodules that could prove cancerous. Rocio Mazzetti desires to keep symptoms of multiple sclerosis at bay.

They each sought help this month inside a rust-colored house on Thonotosassa Road, home to the Central Florida outpost of the Hallelujah Acres Lifestyle Center. For about $1,200 a week, leaders at the center teach would-be adherents the basics of the Hallelujah Diet, a vegan eating plan that centers on the consumption of raw foods and Christianity."

Crying Child Forces Family From Plane

Jan. 23, 2007 — Every parent has dealt with a child having a tantrum and causing embarrassment at the worst times — in a grocery store, in a restaurant, and at weddings.

For a Massachusetts mom and dad, however, their toddler's tantrum cost them their flight home.

On Jan. 14, 3-year-old Elly Kulesza and her parents, Julie and Gerald, were kicked off an AirTran Airways flight from Florida to their Worcester, Mass., home because Elly would not stop crying.

Elly, who had been a model passenger on the flight to Florida four days earlier, began to cry uncontrollably once she got on the plane, throwing a temper tantrum on the floor.

AirTran employees demanded that the Kuleszas calm down their child. When Elly didn't stop crying, the crew banned the Kuleszas from flying for 24 hours. Later, AirTran offered an apology to the family along with a refund on their tickets.

"As we have an obligation to the 112 other passengers onboard the flight to operate the flight on time," AirTran said in a statement, "we had to make an operational decision to ask the Kulesza party to deplane so the flight could depart."

I wouldn't ever fly them again.

How To Boil Water

Another useful tip from the Shack.

Choose a pot that is large enough to hold the water you wish to boil.

Fill pot with water and place on stove.

Turn the stove on.

Do no watch- watched pots never boil.

Ok, that last line is a myth. Watched pots do boil, but they are kind of dull to watch. ;)

This last post is for people who are still having trouble making hard boiled eggs.

What Is Your Favorite Topic To Blog About?

Nu, what is your favorite topic to blog about?

Cemetery Blogging

I am sitting with my grandparents, or should I say next to their stones.

The last week has been a little rough. In the past I would have picked up grandpa and had lunch.

He would ask about the family and laugh at stories about the kids. Sooner or later we'd talk about the challenge of supporting a family and this and that.

I miss those moments. Our relationship had matured. We were friends who could relate to each other.

When he died I lost a confidant. It is really hard not being able to see him.

So I drove out to Eden and here we are together. I am still telling him stories and I imagine that he is still laughing even though I can't really hear his voice.

It makes me feel better to be here close to him. Sometimes I get upset with life because I feel like I have been robbed of people I love.

But then again I think about what I had and what I have.

Surely things could be worse.

That is all I have to say right now.

Haveil Havalim Is Up

Yehuda managed to speed through this one. Click here.

Door To Door Atheist

Ride The Disco Elevator

Making Boys Into Men- Summer Camp

It is hard to believe, but we are already in the process of trying to figure out what summer camps the children are going to attend this year. It is freaking January, but if you don't do it soon you risk missing out. So here I am like another lemming reading and reviewing camp brochures.

One of the brochures had that tired old line about turning boys into men. It is a phrase that I find tedious, if not downright irksome. It is overused, overplayed and turned into a cheap cliche. More than that I don't see a need for it to be included for a camp for six year olds.

It could be because I find that many of the people who use that line are not people that I consider to be the definition of masculinity. Or maybe it is just because it reminds me of an experience I had during a school camping trip.

The year was 1982 and I was one of about 100 students who were attending a two day overnight at Leo Carrillo State Park. For the most part I have good memories of that trip. There were some great hikes, a couple of cool campfires and a spin the bottle game that was out of control. We were young teenagers on hormonal overdrive. I can still tell you the names of some of the girls that I kissed and how it made me feel.

I could also tell you about the jackass teacher's aide who tried to tell me and some of the other guys what we had to do to be men, especially when it came to women. The things that he said made me very uncomfortable. Now I am not going to lie and say that the reason they made me uncomfortable was solely because he objectified women. It bothered me, but at the same time I didn't necessarily speak up either.

The source of my discomfort came from the way he spoke about women and the feeling that he was lying about his experiences. He was a braggart who reveled in telling these stories about all of the girls that he claimed had been with him. Even though I was pretty naive, I could feel that he wasn't being honest.

And now looking back in time it is so obvious to me that was lying. Certainly he is not the only man to lie about his conquests in the bedroom. It is a stupid trait that some men have. I suppose that some of it comes from insecurity. Maybe it is an inability to allow their illusions of grandeur to be deflated. Self indulgent egos sometimes require stroking. To be fair I should add that I have known women like this as well.

I once had a girlfriend who claimed that she was the one who broke up with me, even though there was a note proving otherwise.

But moving back to the theme of this post, I am interested in making my son into a man. It is my responsibility to do so. But I have very specific ideas of what kind of man I want him to be. He doesn't have to be the best athlete or the smartest, though I wouldn't mind. He doesn't have to be the strongest or the fastest, though I wouldn't mind that either.

What he has to be is someone who has character and integrity. Someone who g-d willing is not driven solely by ego. I want him to learn responsibility, to be accountable for his actions. A person of good character.

If he does these things I can be certain that everything else will fall into place.

On a side note I offer this comment to my fellow parents. Do you ever stare at your children and try to envision what they'll look like as adults?

I do. Not too often, but every now and then I try to picture grown ups walking around the house. Sometimes I think about what it will be like to be called Grandpa Jack.

Enough on that for now.

Jewish Parents React To Daughter's Date

This is a clip from a radio prank. I am evaluating how I feel about this one. Something feels off.

How Many Toilets Must A Man Post About

I read on some other blog that they thought that they were the king of bathroom commentary. Well, I am not going to try and win that competition because I find it a crappy thing to do.

But I will demonstrate that I have spent more than a little time posting about this topic. Maybe too much time.

1. Stupid Toilet Tricks

2. A Bullet Proof Toilet

3. It is Better Than Toilet Paper

4. Some Thoughts About Toilet Paper

5. The Truth About Toilet Seats

6. A Simple Toilet Just Won't Do

7. Excuse me, There is Toilet Paper Stuck To Your Tuchus

8. Rough Toilet Paper/Getting Dressed in the Dark

9. Snake In The Toilet

10. The Auto Flush

11. The Talking Penis- A New Bathroom Adventure

12. Bathroom Etiquette- A Follow Up to The Courtesy Post

13. Urinal Talk With Air Time

14. Urine For a Story
    

15. Jack's Experience In the Ladies Room

16. A Little Digestive Distress- Chicken Vindaloo

17. The Germophobe

18. Teach Your Boy to Pee Like a Man

19. Men Urinate Sitting

Aliyah Musings

I know, another old post. I was going to write about the World's Strongest Man Contest and my training for it, but I am just too tired.

"1 By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.

2 Upon the willows in the midst thereof we hanged up our harps.

3 For there they that led us captive asked of us words of song, and our tormentors asked of us mirth: 'Sing us one of the songs of Zion.'

4 How shall we sing HaShem'S song in a foreign land?

5 If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.

6 Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I remember thee not; if I set not Jerusalem above my chiefest joy." Psalm 137

I have written about my love affair with Israel on many occasions. There are times when reading Eicha feels overwhelming. There are times when my not being there has been among the great heartbreaks of my life.

This is a topic that has been covered a number of times. The most recent that I am aware of was over at MCAryeh's place. He did a very fine job of listing many concerns that I share, but since this is my blog I should spend a few minutes outlining some more of my thoughts.

It is a little more than 20 years since this love affair began. A little more than 20 years since I returned from one of most powerful experiences of my life with lifetime of memories and a keychain of asimonim.

In truth I think that part of why this is so hard to write about is because to a certain extent I am ashamed that I let life and circumstance prevent me from following my heart to learn if Israel was home or just a place that will always occupy a fond place in my heart.

You see, when I visited Trumpeldor's kever in Tel Hai and read Ein davar, tov lamut be'ad arzenu ("Never mind; it is good to die for our country") I really bought into it.

I was 16 and so very free. It was June when we arrived and August when we left Ben-Gurion. When I left I was ready to return to the states but only because I thought that I would be back for college. It was a dream that never became a reality, just the fantasy of a kid.

I came close. I was accepted into a program that would have sent me back my freshman year but it wasn't something that my family could afford. I was ready to try again my junior year but love of a different sort got in the way and I foolishly passed it up.

In the years that have passed I have been back twice. Each trip involved a healthy chunk of time and each time I came back to the states with a heavy heart. But there was the promise of the future and as an adult it seemed to be more real than it had before.

You know, it is funny as I sit here typing I know that I have this dreamy look on my face and a parade of images in my mind. And I imagine that out there some of you are wondering if there is this much affection what is holding things up for me, why wouldn't I try and explore this further.

In my case I think that it is a series of things, family, fear of the unknown, the challenge of convincing a spouse to try to make the move, what would I do for a living, questions about my children etc. So let me try and address some of them in more detail.

My children are among my biggest concerns and I say some of this with great guilt. But if we were to make aliyah I would not be the one facing time in the IDF. I am not the one who would potentially be placed in harms way and there is part of me that says that my job is to keep them safe to the best of my ability.

If we don't make aliyah it is less likely that they will ever serve, not impossible but less probable. And I feel guilty for saying this, for saying that it is better than some other parent face this than I. It would be different if it was me, it would be different because it is my choice.

From a family standpoint it is not all that different than many others. In Los Angeles my children are surrounded by all of their grandparents and a large percentage of aunts, uncles and cousins. We have family throughout Israel and could make it possible for more to come, but there are older relatives such as my own grandparents for whom it would be an impossibility.

What would I do? How would I provide for my family? I am one of those people who really needs to be employed in a position that I enjoy. I really do not do well working in a situation that I hate. I am not suggesting that others do, but some do better with it than I do.

Perhaps I am succumbing to the path of least resistance, but maybe not. My gut is that the day will come when I will make the move. I am not so sure exactly when that is, but truly my heart tells me that the time will come when I will look out the window of my home and it won't be in Los Angeles.

Life is one hell of a crazy journey.

Blogging May Be Light

I am too busy running around over here. Jet lag sucks. It sucked when I was 15, 20, 25 and at 86 it is even worse.

Commenting on Comments

As is my wont I am going through the archives and using some old material again. (Originally Posted Here)

I have been blogging for a little more than 18 months now. In that time I have generated a little more than 3000 posts. Yes, that is right, more than 3,000 posts. Some of those posts have been pulled down, so the number of posts that is actually live is likely to be different, but you get the general idea.

I am prolific. I have a lot of interests and a lot to say and I do stop every now and then to consider whether what I have to say is meaningful. When I consider why I got into blogging and the reasons why I come back to the same place in which I do see meaning. I blog because this gives me a running diary of my life, a place to vent and the opportunity to engage and interact with interesting people.

I try to visit as many blogs as I can, but time is fleeting and it can be a challenge. Nevertheless I make an effort. I also make an effort to comment. I am not much of a lurker. I am "lurking challenged." Some of that is because I feel a bit of an obligation to comment and not be as voyeuristic as I could be by sitting in the background watching and waiting. You took the time the write so I'll take the time to remark is the unofficial motto.

Posts that have No Comments

Early on in my blogging experience I didn't bother to visit any other blogs and I didn't have any sort of stat counter so many of those early posts are devoid of any sort of comments. There is also a chunk of time in which I used Haloscan. When I removed it I lost all of the comments that had accumulated there.

Why do I mention this? Because now when I go back to my earlier work I notice a number of things. My first thought is almost always how bad those posts were. They were just awful but as I mentioned many times I tend to dislike most of my work. The second thing I notice is whether there are any comments or not.

Posts that have no comments look like orphans to me. Sad and lonely collections of words that have received no love. They stand there in the shadows with their heads hung low and a glum expression on their collective typefaces.

As Forest Gump would say, "that is all I have to say on that for now."

Caught My Eye

I did not know that yesterday!

You Sank My Battleship- er Aircraft Carrier



And Project Grizzly



All courtesy of Neatorama.

The Science of Hanging

Soccer Dad has a link to an interesting article about the science of hanging someone. This brings to mind the post The Most Renowned Executioner In Saudi Arabia.

Most people probably haven't spent any time considering the various factors involved in running a proper execution, but it makes sense that someone has. Not your every day line of work or thought, but someone has to do it.

**Just to be clear my comment is in reference to the link over at Soccer Dad's place.

How To Be An Astronaut

Mental Floss has a blurb about this that I found interesting. Here are a couple of excerpts.

Take Your Aspirin
Here’s the secret they don’t tell you about space travel: It hurts. Spacesickness is common, particularly for first-timers and anybody who launches into a bunch of fancy spins or soaring across the station before they’ve had time to get acclimatized. And trust us, hurling in zero-G is no fun. Worse, the effects of weightlessness can really do a number on your body. One symptom is lower back pain, caused by your spine stretching as the fluid within it floats. You get taller, but you also get achier. Headaches are another major issue. Without gravity, it’s harder for your heart to do its job. Blood pressure drops and your blood doesn’t reach your feet as reliably. Instead, it flows to your head, turning your face puffy and red and giving you a headache, just as if you’d been hanging upside down on the monkeybars.

and

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
That’s the official NASA stance on whether anyone’s ever had sex in space. We may never know for certain whether astronauts and/or their international peers are hooking it up up there, but we do know that, if they were, it would come with some less-than-sexy challenges. For one thing, there’s no natural convection in zero gravity, so any heat you work up stays with you. At the same time, however, you also tend to sweat more in zero G, making outer space sex both hotter and wetter than that on Earth—and not in a good way. Another problem is that, in zero G, you naturally push away from anything you touch. That means anybody wanting to have sex in space would probably need to be strapped down and strapped together. Oh, and that drop in blood pressure we already mentioned? That would have dire effects on male “egos” galaxy wide.

I am still interested. I think that it would be so very cool to go into space. It is one of my all time dreams to do so.

Name Five Movies That You Can't Stand

Can you name five movies that you seriously dislike? One more question. When you go see a movie are you the kind of person who walks out if you don't like it or do you insist on staying.

More often than not I stay. It is a combination of this naive hope that it will get better and my irritation with having paid. In LA a bargain matinee will run somewhere between eight and ten bucks a person. Throw in snacks, parking and dinner and you could easily drop sixty or seventy bucks and you haven't done all that much.

Just to get things rolling here are a couple of movies that I didn't like:

Like Water For Chocolate

As Good As it Gets

How about you?

Undercover In The UK Mosques

This is video footage from inside some British mosques. It is part of an undercover assignment gathered by a British television program. It is very alarming.



Part 2

Part 3

How You Ended Up Here

Here are some recent keywords that led some of you to this blog.

how to make hard boiled eggs
random thoughts
jack shack
blogger kingdom
los angeles
operator by jim croce meaning
glucose sweater
center basketball
enemy combatant
natural woman
tai-kwon-leap/boot to the head
random celebrities who have patents
as i wake its kaleidoscopic mind meaning
life without religion
besheret
indirect friend
traitors
example for children
stand upright and be strong favorite song
Hussein execution video
meshugganah definition
fresh eggs peeled versus old eggs
how long can hard boiled eggs stay out
hard boil eggs
origin of the silver surfer
the meaning of fernando by abba
the meaning of movies
bathroom man sign
do americans like soccer
make hard boiled eggs
king mountaintop npr

Smokey The Bear Guidelines

Most American readers of this blog should be familiar with Smokey The Bear. I can hear him say in that deep voice "Only You Can Stop Forest Fires"

But how many of you are aware of the Smokey The Bear guidelines for proper use.

1. Use the costume only to further public information, education, and aware- ness of the
prevention of wildfires.
2. NOT TO SPEAK during appearances. Conversations or explanations should be
carried out by the accompanying official (escort).
3. Never appear in less than full costume.
4. Remain anonymous at every appearance and in any publicity connected with an
appearance. This includes being photographed without the head.
5. Use only costumes that are clean, complete, and in good condition. 6. Keep costume
out-of-sight before and after use.
7. Appear dignified and friendly. Avoid clowning and horseplay.8. Always be accompanied by an appropriately uniformed escort in public appearances,
except where not practical, such as on a parade float where space is limited.
9. Refrain from using alcohol or drugs prior to and during the Smokey Bear appearance.
This condition applies to officials as well.
Appearances
1. The person wearing the costume must exhibit appropriate animation to be effective.
Express sincerity and interest in the appearance by moving paws, head, and legs.
2. There shall be at least one uniformed escort to accompany the Bear. The escort shall
guide the Bear at the elbow.
3. After donning the costume, the escort shall inspect the suit. Check for the following:
Is the drawstring tucked in?
Is the zipper out of sight?
Are the buttons fastened?
Is the belt firmly fastened to the pants?
Are the pant cuffs neat?
Is the hat crown up?
Is the head straight on the shoulders?
Is the fur brushed generously?
4. A private dressing room is necessary for putting on and taking off the costume.
5. The costumed bear should not force itself on anyone. Do not walk rapidly toward
small children.
6. A round-point shovel is part of the Smokey Bear image. It shall be used for
appearances, when appropriate.
7. The costume becomes hot to the wearer after a very short period. Success has been
noted with the use of compartmentalized vests and "Blue Ice", and the addition of a
battery-operated fan in the hat. Several cooling options are available from the costume
manufacturers. Limit appearances to 15-20 minute segments to minimize personal
discomfort.
8. After each appearance, check the costume for needed repairs or cleaning. Note this on
the outside of the storage box for immediate follow-up by the owner/manager of the
costume.

These guidelines are ruining my plan to create a drunk and disorderly Smokey. He is a bear for heavens sake, let him act like a bear. If I were Smokey I'd start out by grabbing picnic baskets.

I'd growl at people and roar at dogs. I don't even want to tell you what I'd be like at a barbecue.

You want to know the thing that makes me the saddest about this. Well, I was truly interested in seeing Smokey take on Woodsy Owl in an Ultimate Fighting Championship. Woodsy is such a little wimp. I'd like to see Smokey kick his ass up and down that ring, make a man/owl of him.

BTW, as long as we are speaking of Woodsy Boing Boing tipped me off to something. Did you know that there are official guidelines for how to destroy Woodsy.

1. Incinerate the complete costume with the oversight of an official USDA Forest Service law enforcement officer*.

2. The entire Woodsy Owl costume including each of the separate pieces is to be destroyed beyond recognition.

* If you do not have access to an official USDA Forest Service law enforcement representative, arrangements will be made for dealing with your costume by contacting the USDA-FS Washington Office at:

Woodsy Owl
C/o National Symbols Program
P. O. Box 96090
Washington, D. C. 20090-6090

In other words if you are incapable of building a big bonfire or haven't access to an industrial size furnace these people can help you.

Star Trek Meets Jefferson Airplane- White Rabbit

I Like Ladino Music

Or should I say that I enjoy listening to songs sung in Ladino. You don't hear or see it spoken as much as Yiddish, but it is beautiful.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Tied up, have to provide a link to what I wrote last year and a video.

Who Remembers Richie's Pizza?

I know that there are at least two people in the blogosphere besides myself that remember Richies Pizza in Jerusalem, Jameel and Trep.

But I am curious. Who else remembers this place? Surely there are others.

Anyone?

How about Lalos or Champs?

What I am Thinking Right Now

Last five songs on my iTunes:

Seven Bridges Road
The Eagles
Hotel California
The Eagles
Get Over It
The Eagles
Son of a Preacher Man
Dusty Springfield
It don't Mean a Thing [If it ain't got that swing]
Duke Ellington

One day some boy is going to catch my daughter's eye. Said boy is going to have less than honorable intentions towards her. As the older brother of three sisters I learned how to encourage boys to treat them with respect. I need to teach my older son all of those tricks and more.

Note to self: enroll son in ninja camp as soon as possible. Hormones make boys/men do stupid things. I need help.

I finally gave in and watched 24. Loved it. Knew that I would. Now I am stuck with another television show. One day I am going to get rid of my television and computer. No really, one day I will. Impulsive man that I am, it will happen. Of course I may be dead before I give up the computer.

Note to self: check on computer addiction treatment. Bytes, blogs and beeps make boys/men do stupid things. I need help.

Tomorrow is MLK day. He was murdered a little less than a year before I was born. Strange to think that my formative years were so close to the beginning of the civil rights movement. What year was the act passed, '64? History is relative. More on this later.

I never doubted Marty Schottenheimer. That is I never doubted that he is a lousy playoff coach. Still like Peyton.

Next five songs on iTunes:

The End
The Doors
Last Dance
Donna Summer
The Boys Of Summer
Don Henley
Brothers In Arms
Dire Straits
The Man's Too Strong
Dire Straits

The End- this is one of those college songs. By that I mean that for a while there was a mandate that at the end of the evening it would have to be played. There'd be somewhere around seven to ten people left in various states of sobriety and someone would put it on.

Inevitably someone else would make some kind of Vietnam reference, usually to a movie we had seen like Apocalypse Now or Platoon. Of course Vietnam was the war of our older brothers/parents. What the hell did we know about it.

Last Dance- Reminds me of that movie Thank God Its Friday. Wasn't that what it was called. It was in the midst of the whole disco era.

Boys of Summer- That is a song that reminds me of an ex-girlfriend or two. What can I say, summer lovin happened so fast.

Dire Straits- Israel 1985. Richie's Pizza, Phil Collins No Jacket Required, A future that was so incredibly bright. I couldn't have imagined what things are like now.

Next Five Songs

Isadora
David Broza
Young Americans
David Bowie
Southern Cross
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Lux Aeterna
Clint Mansell
This Is Radio Clash
The Clash

Sometimes I like to listen to sad music. Sometimes I just need to put myself in that place. Sometimes I doubt myself. Sometimes I feel like the choices I have made have been the wrong choices. Sometimes I feel like I am always fighting. Sometimes I feel like screaming. Sometimes I pound on the heavy bag in my garage.

I like the feeling. I like the sound of the gloves on the bag. I like watching it sway too and fro. I pretend that I am back in the ring. I am stalking my opponent. I am patient. He'll let down his guard. He'll mistake my willingness to take a blow for weakness and then I'll just unload.

And then I'll come out of there. I'll be covered in sweat. My arms will ache and my breath will be short, but I'll feel better. I'll feel better because of the adrenalin rush. I'll feel like I have beaten my demons back. I'll feel like I can do it.

And then I'll remember that I can and that I do. I'll remember that there is no guidebook. I'll remember that it is easy to look back and shake your head at the mistakes you have made, but it is also easy to see the victories.

Last Five of the evening:

Theme from Harry's Game
Clannad
The Devil Went Down To Georgia
The Charlie Daniels Band
Time Has Come Today
Chambers Bros.
Minnie the Moocher
Cab Calloway
Gonna Make You Sweat
C+C Music Factory

Schottenheimer Chokes Again

New England 24, San Diego 21

No surprises here.

I Loved Uncle Charley

What can I say, I am fan of curmudgeons.

Link To Jack Day- Answers To Some Questions

In the afterglow of Link To Jack Day some of you have submitted a few questions. In no particular here are the answers.

Why was Link to Jack Day two days long? For the answer see The Back of The Hill.

I missed Link To Jack Day. Am I too late to participate? No, you can join the festivities now. Just follow the directions and I'll take care of the rest.

I want to support the sponsor. How can I do that? The official sponsor of Link To Jack Day is Muqata Waffles.


The theme song is performed by The Shmata Queen, It is called "Loud, Louder, Loudest."

If you have any more let me know and we'll get you the answers. We aim to please.

Haveil Havalim #102

Soccer Dad has the score.

What You Missed

Here are some of the more recent posts:

JBlogger Interviews

How I Decide To Get A Haircut

The Broken Toy

Today Is Link To Jack Day

Thank You To Those Who Participated In Link To Jack Day

And from last January 13

Popular Posts- Friday Jan. 13 2006

JBlogger Interviews

Is it just me or does it seem like every time a blogger chooses to pick up the torch they make it through two or three of these and then they disappear back into the woodwork.

I don't know, maybe I am mistaken.

How I Decide To Get A Haircut

I need to get my haircut. I am tired of bad hair days. The 'doo is growing unruly and it is refusing to listen to orders. And that is just unacceptable. There can only be one commander-in-chief and that is me. But it appears that a coup d'etat may be underway. It is not the first time. Every so often a wild hair grabs a hold of some crazy idea and tries to lead a rebellion.

What at one time was a large Jewfro is kept clipped short. In my younger years I ruthlessly maintained order by employing severe measures. I wore a flat top, or brush cut as some called it.

I loved it!

It was exceptionally easy to take care of, sleep and wear with no care. I'd wake up and all I had to do was run my fingers through it. But no matter how severe a master, the slave will find a way to rebel. My own hair betrayed me. It was a gradual process. The rebels were smart. They didn't all flee at once, just a few hair and there. In time I noticed that the ranks had been thinned out.

The change was not welcome. It is not because I fear being bald. I do not. The day will come when I choose to shave my head. I will not be the man who loops six long strings across my skull in a sad, myopic attempt to pretend that I still have a full head of hair. No sir.

No the change was unwelcome because I was forced to let my hair grow somewhat longer. The Flat Top just didn't work any longer, but there was far too much hair to shave my head. I figured that there was no point in shaving when I didn't have a choice.

Now I let it grow longer, although longer is a relative term. Most people would still consider it short. Now I go about six to eight weeks between cuts. The sweet spot is about two or three weeks. By that I mean that this is when I think that it looks best. Vanity makes an appearance here and there.

At around the six week mark I usually notice that there are some curls poking up on the side of my head and some hints of trouble brewing on top. I haven't yet reached the point where there crown resembles my baby pictures, but then again it is not so thick up there any longer.

Fortunately the back of my head remains as thick as it ever was. ;)

The Broken Toy

This is the sad and sordid tale of a broken toy. The poor toy never got a fair shot. It wasn't broken in the line of duty. It will not be buried with full honors. It didn't serve long enough to receive a pension. It will not be spoken of in hushed tones of reverence. It will not be remembered as a martyr for a higher purpose.

No, this toy will be one of the many toys that for good or for bad never get their shot. This toy wasn't broken by the child for whom it was intended. It's short life was snuffed out by the an inquisitive toddler. A little sister who desired nothing more than to be like her big brother mishandled it.

It wasn't malicious. In the court of law you wouldn't call it premeditated, it is a case of Toyslaughter. If only it had been Stretch Armstrong. Stretch would have handled the sister. Stretch would have laughed at the rough treatment, he was made to just go with the flow.

As a father I felt badly. My daughter didn't mean to break it, but that didn't make her brother feel less angry. At six it is hard to just accept that sometimes things happen. It took a little time but we worked it out.

As the older brother of many sisters I felt badly as well. I remember similar moments. I can picture more than one occasion in which my sisters aggravated me. Now I look back and smile, but at the time it was no so easy.

In the end he asked if I could fix the broken toy and found other things to occupy his time. I didn't have the heart to tell him that this toy is beyond repair. There is no hospice, no second chance. Just time to put it in the box and say Kaddish. Sometimes things happen.

CES- I Am Sorry I Missed It

The CES show (Consumer Electronics Show) just wrapped up in Las Vegas. As someone who loves gadgets this is the kind of show that really holds my attention. All those toys just waiting for someone like me to come and check them out.

Here is some information from their website that will provide you with a better understanding of what it is:

History

The first CES took place in New York City in June of 1967 with 200 exhibitors and 17,500 attendees. Since then, CES has grown more than eleven-fold. Nearly 2,700 exhibitors, filling 1.6 million net square feet of exhibit space, showcased their latest products and services to more than 140,000 attendees at the 2006 International CES.

Products That Debuted at CES

Videocassette Recorder (VCR), 1970		Hard-disc VCR (PVR), 1999
Laserdisc Player, 1974		Digital Audio Radio (DAR), 2000
Camcorder, 1981		Microsoft Xbox, 2001
Compact Disc Player, 1981		Plasma TV, 2001
Digital Audio Technology, 1990		Home Media Server, 2002
Compact Disc - Interactive, 1991		HD Radio, 2003
Mini Disc, 1993		Blu-Ray DVD, 2003
Radio Data System, 1993		HDTV PVR, 2003
Digital Satellite System, 1994		HD Radio, 2004
Digital Versatile Disk (DVD), 1996		IP TV, 2005
High Definition Television (HDTV), 1998		digital content services, 2006

Look at that list. It just makes me smile. I look at this list and see glimpses of the future.

Blogging Tells

Shifra's post caught me eye.

The blogging world is a weird one: aliases and screen names, fighting for justice from behind a monitor, and telling your deepest secrets to total strangers are all commonplace activities.
Sometimes I think we're all a little messed up. Lately there has been a new phenomenon which I'll call double-blind blogging, even thought thats not really the right words for it. I'm talking about new anonymous mini-blogs like the Hot Channie blog (spawned by snappy catch phrase on my blog) and the Dov Weasel blog (designed to bring down the bear by exposing instances of sentence lifting and plagiarism.)

Most bloggers I've spoken to assume that these new adept bloggers, who seem both technically Savvy and very aware of who's who in the J-blogging world must really be other bloggers in disguise. Based on that assumption they try to figure out who it might be (even if their detective work will only take them as far as their usual blog alias. )

Who is on their email list? Who's blogs do the quote? What is their level of technical skill on the web? What is their writing style, temperament, target audience...
Who would have the time to maintain two blogs?

As I mentioned in the comments at Shifra's place. I maintain several blogs. It is taken incredible effort and discipline, but I can now admit that I am the following bloggers: DovBear, Ezzie, Ren Reb and I used to be ClooJew.

Most Popular Posts of the Past Week

Just for kicks I grabbed the most popular posts of the past week. Here they are:

Today Is Link To Jack Day
What Are Your Favorite Song Lyrics?
How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs
Saddam Hussein Execution Video
Five Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
Going Commando
Why The Baal Teshuva World Irritates Me
Morality Without Religion- A Comment to The Self-Righteous
Saturday Night iTunes Playlist
How Personal Should A Blog Be?

And what did I learn from this? I learned that unsurprisingly the readers interests are just as varied as my own. Those posts range from the very serious to the height of silliness.

But it is always fun to see what catches a person's eye.

Why I Still Don't Like The JIBs

(This was run once here. I have made a couple of simple changes to it.)

In the 2.5 years or so that I have been blogging the Jblogosphere has grown exponentially. Once upon a time it felt quite small to me. Ok, not small but more intimate than it feels now. There were a good 25 blogs or so on my blogroll that in my mind were the core of the Jblogging universe.

Some of them were big bloggers, some were new bloggers and some were in between. What the hell did I know, I was just another voice in cyberspace talking about this and that.

When Aussie Dave pioneered the JIBs the first time around I was pretty gung ho about it. As my grandfather would say, that is emes (Truth). But that changed pretty rapidly. Mainly I was turned off by the behavior of some bloggers.

By the second year I grew even more disillusioned with them. I won't lie and say that I didn't have any interest in winning. I readily admit that I would have been pleased with a victory, but I also refused to engage in any of the campaigning. It just irked me.

Enough of the walk down memory lane. If you want to catch up you can read the following posts:

Relax With the JIBs
Why Do You Blog? More about the JIBs
The JIBs- What I find Distasteful

Ok, clearly they made for good blog material, but I digress.

This year Dave is understandably avoiding playing daddy and I can't blame him. The antics and games of the last few years must have gotten old quite quickly. It appears now that a small start-up has agreed to take on the task of trying to sail the ship. Although from what I saw it appears that there are major issues with it.

I am not the only blogger who has noticed these issues. There are more than a few people who think that the person sponsoring this is not doing so for any sort of altruistic reason, but solely for their personal benefit.

If you were running a contest you would think that in the interest of impartiality you would refrain from nominating contestants. That is not the case with the JIBs. And that is just one of a myriad number of issues with them.

Anyhoo, I'll save some of my comments for later. For now let's move forward and discuss something else.

One of the reasons for the formation of the JIBs was to help promote the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere. It remains an excellent idea. But for my money I prefer Haveil Havalim. On a side note my stat counter shows that these editions of HH are in the top ten of my most popular posts and they still continue to receive their share of visitors.

Haveil Havalim #30
Haveil Havalim #43
Haveil Havalim #54 Big and Beautiful
Haveil Havalim #61- Call Me Roger Maris
Haveil Havalim #72- Handed Down From the Mountaintop
Haveil Havalim:Number 97 A Sunday Special

Let's go back for a moment to the purpose of the JIBs and HH to promote the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere. It seems to me that the overwhelming majority of the readers are already members of the group.

You could make the argument that many of the blogs have a reach into a marketplace outside of the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere. There is definitely some truth to that, but I hazard that it is very limited and that is part of why I find the competition to be less than compelling.

Already we see the campaigning gearing up. Bloggers will be pushing to be nominated and then there will be the posts and reminders to vote. All in all we end up with you standard high school popularity contest.

And that is why I prefer HH. It is open to anyone who wants to participate and it is among the easiest methods to promote your blog and build your readership. It just feels much friendlier to me and much more likely to build community.

Just my nickel on the matter.

Thank You To Those Who Participated In Link To Jack Day

Much thanks to all of the participants in Link to Jack Day. You have made the day a great success. I salute you all and promise not to defenestrate any of you, at least not today. ;)

So it is with much pleasure that I thank you all.

Tikkunger
Life Of Rubin
SoccerDad
The Boomer Chronicles
Paula
Orieyenta
Psycho
DovBear
Ha'azina Tefilati
Kasamba- Should I say gesundheit.
Rant of the Loon
Town Crier
Rubicon 3
Benning
RaggedyMom
Seawitch
Shoshana
Back Of The Hill
Irina
Ezzie
Another meshugannah mommy
Books and Beliefs
MarGavriel
Sarah
Sara with No H
Chandira

Updated to include:

Jameel
Shifra
Jewbiquitous
Elie
Daboys
Sholom

Today Is Link To Jack Day

Yes, you read the title of this post correctly. I am asking everyone who comes by the blog to join me in celebrating Link To Jack Day.

Unlike Festivus there are no feats of strength or airing of grievances. All that I ask is that each one of you link to one of my posts and then leave me a comment letting me know that you did so.

And now let the festivities begin. Link Away!

Defenestrate

Defenestrate is one of my favorite words. There is just something about it that sounds...cool. I first became acquainted with it when I was in my ninth grade English class. Since that time I have had moments in which I proudly engaged in acts of defenestration.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with it here is an easy definition.

de·fen·es·trate (dē-fĕn'ĭ-strāt')
tr.v., -trat·ed, -trat·ing, -trates.

To throw out of a window.

In case you are wondering what made me think of sharing this with you I attribute it to Meryl's post here.

FireFox- YouTube Issue

I just became aware that some of you who are using Firefox are not able to see some of the YouTube videos I have posted here. IE users shouldn't have any trouble.

I have a crack team of IT professionals working on this and will report back later.

The Grandfather Series

I spent a little time reviewing some of the posts that I wrote about my grandfather and thought that I'd provide links to them here. Not sure if I got all of them, but it is a good start.

Afraid to Say Goodbye
What I Fear
The Father Leans On The Son
The Bearer of Bad Tidings- One Less Set of Footsteps
Pictures, Videos and Memories
My Grandfather Laid Tefillin
Do The Dead Walk In Dreams
Grandpa Is Still Gone
Walking With The Dead

Born To Hand Jive

Five Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

1. Casablanca
2. The Godfather
3. Star Wars
4. Raiders of the Lost Ark
5. Gladiator
   

Rhode Island's only kosher bed and breakfast

CNN Has the story:

Rhode Island's only kosher bed and breakfast

NEWPORT, Rhode Island (AP) -- A practicing Catholic who attends church each Sunday, Mary Ellen Newbury hardly seems a sure bet to know the ins and outs of keeping a kosher diet.

But as innkeeper of the Admiral Weaver Inn, the only kosher bed-and-breakfast in Rhode Island, Newbury's job is to ensure her guest's religious needs are satisfied -- whether by making sure that meat and dairy meals are kept separate or by keeping bacon and sausage far away from the house.

Upholding the strict standards of a religion, albeit one different than her own, is a responsibility she takes seriously.

"I respect their beliefs and they in turn respect mine," said Newbury, a lifelong Newport resident and retired school teacher. "That's how it's worked out."

The six-bedroom inn, which opened as a kosher bed-and-breakfast more than five years ago, was the brainchild of a Ukranian immigrant looking to give something back to the Jewish community. The 1860s home, which boasts standard trappings like TVs and personal refrigerators, also has unique features that showcase its commitment to Jewish tradition.

For the full story please click here.

TV In Japan

I stumbled onto a new blog that is kind of fun. It is called TV In Japan. It has links to all sorts of good stuff including some videos. I'll grab a clip and their intro from one of them.

This is one of the most ridiculous clips ever. It might be near the funniest. It’s like a perfect mix of grade-school humor and deadly seriousness.

To set the scene: A group of Japanese scientists are brought together to solve the one problem that has burdened humankind since the beginning. How to escape one’s own farts.

There’s a little bit of serious stuff at the top but stick with it. It gets amazing.

Gaming The Ecosystem

A short while ago I received an email from a younger blogger who wanted to know how they could improve their ranking within the Truth Laid Bear ecosystem. I explained to them that as I understood it the system is based upon the number of other blogs that link to you. So there are a couple of methods of trying to improve your stature.

One of those is to try and game the system. That is, you can try and become a team member of one of the communities in which all community members link to each other. That is a pretty simple way to improve your ranking quite quickly. The other alternative is to do your best to provide consistent and compelling content. Over time other bloggers will link to things that they find to be of interest and your ranking will improve.

Don't get me wrong. I like the ecosystem. I have steadily progressed from being a microbe to an adorable rodent and may even one day become a higher being. Who knows.

Gwynn & Ripken Are Going To The Hall

Two of my favorite players. Good guys who played for the love of the game. ESPN has the story.

Ripken was picked by 537 voters and appeared on 98.53 percent of ballots to finish with the third-highest percentage behind Tom Seaver (98.84) and Nolan Ryan (98.79).

The former Baltimore Orioles shortstop said he was both relieved and euphoric. If he had been picked by two of the eight voters who didn't select him, he would have set the percentage record -- but he didn't mind.

"All I wanted to hear was, 'You're in,'" Ripken said during a conference call. "I really didn't get caught up with wanting to be unanimous or wanting to be the most."

Gwynn received 532 votes for 97.61 percent, the seventh-highest ever, also trailing Ty Cobb, George Brett and Hank Aaron.

"It's an unbelievable feeling to know that people think that what you did was worthy," Gwynn said. "For me, it's kind of validation. The type of player that I was doesn't get a whole lot of credit in today's game."

What I Blogged About Last January 9th

Just for kicks I thought that I'd grab the posts I put up on this day last year.

Aliyah Musings

Communication Breakdown

It Is Not One of My Finer Traits

Living With A Shark

Don't Just Dream Your Dreams

Business Leaders Share Secret to Success

Unintentionally Funny

I don't think that this is supposed to be funny, but it is hard not to make quips about it.

How to Survive an Avalanche

Jan. 7, 2007 — Shortly after the avalanche occurred on a Colorado highway Saturday, Alpine Rescue Team arrived to determine whether any other cars were trapped.

Charley Shimanski, who heads up the crew, told "Good Morning America Weekend Edition" what you should do if you get caught in an avalanche while in your car.

Wear a Seat Belt

If you have your seat belt on, it will help avoid trauma as the car flips. The whole event will last about 10 seconds.

Keep Your Hands in Front of Your Face

Make sure you have your hands in front of your face. That will protect you from breaking glass. Also, it will create an air space for you if the windshield breaks and you become trapped by snow.

Shut Off Your Engine

Shut your engine off. This will help prevent carbon monoxide from getting inside the car.

Wait for Help

Finally, wait for help. You're probably not buried as deep as you think, and people will be quickly on their way to help you.

Ok, while the car is flipping over and over for that eternal ten seconds I'll try to remember to keep my hands in front of my face. I am concerned about a few things.

If I am in the snow I will probably have hot coffee in the car. I hope to remember to keep it in a sealed container because scalding coffee will probably make me move my hands. Of course if I get hit in the head by the Thomas Guide I might move my hands as well.

But I am still a little uncertain about the whole seatbelt thing. What if I am about to get out of the car when the avalanche hits. Will I have enough time to get back inside and attach my seatbelt. The good news is that I probably won't have to remember to turn off the engine unless I am being dropped off in which case the driver better do it because if I survive the avalanche and die from carbon monoxide poisoning I am going to be really pissed off.

(Editor's note: At 11 PM this is mildly humorous to me.)

ABC- Proofread, Proofread Proofread

Dear ABC News,

I wasn't surprised to see that the lowly and overrated Buckeyes lost the national championship. But I must say that I was disappointed in your headline.

As shown above you used the word Duel as Inigo Montoya would say, I do not think that it means what you think that it means.

du·el (dū'əl, dyū'-)
n.

1. A prearranged, formal combat between two persons, usually fought to settle a point of honor.
2. A struggle for domination between two contending persons, groups, or ideas.

v., -eled or -elled, -el·ing or -el·ling, -els or -els. v.tr.

1. To engage (another) in or as if in formal combat.
2. To oppose actively and forcefully.

v.intr.

To engage in or as if in formal combat.

[Middle English duelle, from Medieval Latin duellum, from Latin, war, archaic variant of bellum.]

dueler du'el·er or du'el·ist n.

What you should have used is Dual. Tut, tut, tut.

100 Best Companies to Work For

Fortune has the rundown. Here is the top ten:

1. Google	6. Network Appliance
2. Genentech	7. S.C. Johnson & Son
3. Wegmans Food Markets	8. Boston Consulting Grp.
4. Container Store	9. Methodist Hospital Sys.
5. Whole Foods Market	10. W.L. Gore & Associates

Click here for the full list.

For The Star Wars Fanatic

Gizmodo has the scoop on this R2D2 projector. Here is a little blurb:

This 1/2 scale remote controlled R2D2 has a projector stashed in his dome, capable of an 80-inch picture. And said controller is shaped like the Millenium Falcon. By the falcon's command, the sassy little droid can be driven forward and back and right down the trash compactor. The remote'll also spin his cute little dome piece around, trigger 11 R2 sounds from the movies. And there's a built in DVD player with stereo speakers, an iPod dock connector, USB and memory card slots, as well as AV inputs.

It Is The Right Thing To Do

How many times in your life has someone told you to "Do The Right Thing." It is a common expression but I am not certain how many people live their lives this by it. That is probably not a fair comment because it sets up life as being black and white and that is just not real.

Life is filled with challenges that have black and white answers. I know people that try to live their lives based on black and white precepts. Some of them would consider this post to be an attempt to run a game. They might accuse me of being afraid to take a position. That too would be unfair.

See the funny thing about life is that when you take a hard look you find that there are many shades of gray. Sometimes those shades are helpful. Sometimes those are the moments in which you find the brightest colors and sometimes it is where the darkness hides.

I am working hard on trying to teach my children to do the right thing. I need for them to learn these things at a young age. What they do as they get older will be based upon this and if I can't help them build a proper foundation what kind of father would I be.

Here is an example. During a recent outing to the park my son found a Batman action figure. He loves superheroes and very much wanted to keep it. The truth is that my initial impulse was to let him do so. There weren't that many kids around and those that were there said that it was not their Batman.

The story could have ended there, but I saw an opportunity for a little life lesson. The park has a rec center right next to the playground area. I told my son that we needed to give Batman to the office in the rec center because the owner might come back and see if anyone had turned Batman in.

He didn't want any part of it. He is six and already knows the whole "Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers" bit. But it just didn't feel right to me not to turn it in so I spent a little time explaining to him why we should turn it in. I told him that sometimes the right thing to do is hard and that we needed to pay attention to that voice in our head. He didn't like it much, but I could see the wheels turning inside.

Eventually he gave in and we headed over to the office. The lady behind the desk told him that she would hold onto it for a week and if it wasn't claimed we could come back and she would give it to him. It seemed like a fair compromise and he was ok with it so the deal was made.

When I told my father the story he asked me what I would have done if it would have been a bagful of money. I'd like to say that I would just turn it in, but I am not so sure. Found money is found money. Does it make me a hypocrite to say that I might consider holding onto the bag.

Maybe.

The Apprentice LA- My Intial Impressions

I stand by my earlier post in which I expressed my concern that the show may have jumped the shark. Here are some thoughts:

1. Ivanka Trump hasn't done a thing to impress me. She had the good fortune to be born a Trump but all I see is a girl standing in her father's shadow. She may have something upstairs or she may just be lucky. Right now my vote is for luck.
2. I am a homer. I love my city so I admit to mild irritation that they spend so much time covering the superficial aspects of it.
3. The changes that they have made in the show make it appear to be much more game show like and less reality. If I want game show I can watch Jeopardy.

That is all the time it deserves. I'll check in again to see if I change my mind.

More Than 200,000 Hits

Not that I am counting, but I passed this mark sometime last year and forgot to pat myself on the back. I am not quite sure when it happened. I have several stat counters but there have been chunks of time in which I took them off of the blog.

Haveil Havalim 101

I can't decide whether to make a crack about school or it being worth two zuzim. It is worth reading. Click here.

Your Daughter Is Going To Die

As a father I cannot imagine more horrifying words than being told that your child is going to die. It has to be a complete nightmare. I say this as someone who has seen what the loss of a child can do to a family. That experience is outside of the thoughts and feelings that some bloggers have shared about the loss of their children.

I wrote Taking Stock of Life- A General Accounting because of a number of things, one of which was learning about how very ill a good friend has become. But I didn't share everything that was going on.

You see my baby cousin has a brain tumor. She is not really a baby anymore, not in the traditional sense of the word. She is 25. We grew up in different states and I can't say that I really saw her all that much which is probably why it is easier to picture a little girl in pigtails.

The news about my cousin came on the same day that my friend filled me on what is going on with her. At the time I couldn't bring myself to write about my cousin. I couldn't do it because of the sick feeling that just hearing about it gave me.

I have been down this road before. Too many times, too many brain tumors, too much death. It just shook me up. I really was filled with dread. It is not easy to process so much bad news in such a short time.

When I thought about my cousin's mother I heard this clinical voice tell her that in all likelihood her daughter would succumb to this. I am ashamed to admit that.

But while there is life there is hope. Medical science is not precise. Sometimes 2+2 does not equal four. So while there is time to hope, I will hope. While there is time to pray I will pray. Better now than later. Better today than tomorrow.

Life is a bitch, but you don't have to let it break you. I don't know what else to say. I am not sure that it is accurate to say that I feel better, but I am somewhat relieved that I got some of this off of my chest.

Saturday Night iTunes Playlist

Here is your play list for the evening.

Streets of Philadelphia
Bruce Springsteen
Hungry Heart
Bruce Springsteen
My Love Will Not Let You Down
Bruce Springsteen
Kiss That Frog
Peter Gabriel
Let's Dance
David Bowie
I've Got So Much To Give
Barry White
Say Man
Bo Diddley
Baby, It's Cold Outside
Ray Charles
One More Saturday Night
The Grateful Dead
Paranoid
Black Sabbath
She Came In Through The Bathroom Window
Joe Cocker
Mr. Brightside
The Killers
Distant Green Valley
The Silk Road Ensemble & Yo-Yo Ma
I Just Want To Make Love To You
The Rolling Stones
Back In The High Life
Steve Winwood
Turn on Your Love Light
The Grateful Dead
Linger
The Cranberries
Mirror In The Bathroom
The English Beat
Who Needs Information
Roger Waters
I Want To Break Free
Queen
If You Could Read My Mind
Gordon Lightfoot
Tom Sawyer
Rush
All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight
Hank Williams Jr.
Times Of Trains
David Broza
Home Sweet Home
Motley Crue
If I Could Be Where You Are
Enya
Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting
Elton John
The Lonesome Kicker
Adam Sandler
We've Got Tonight
Bob Seger
Shigaon
Craig Taubman
One Tin Soldier (The Legend Of Billy Jack)
Coven
What'd I Say Parts 1 & 2 1959
Ray Charles
Fire
Jimmy Hendrix
Cry
Faith Hill

Young At Heart- Johnny Ramone is Spinning

Mobile Blogging

Jack and his mighty Treo are on the road again.

I don't know about you, but I miss paying less than a buck per gallon of gas.

Ten dollars just doesn't cover it anymore.

Sometimes I miss my 77 Camaro and sometimes I miss my old Dodge Dart.

How to go to M.I.T. for free

"By the end of this year, the contents of all 1,800 courses taught at one of the world's most prestigious universities will be available online to anyone in the world, anywhere in the world. Learners won't have to register for the classes, and everyone is accepted.

The cost? It's all free of charge.

The OpenCourseWare movement, begun at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) in 2002 and now spread to some 120 other universities worldwide, aims to disperse knowledge far beyond the ivy-clad walls of elite campuses to anyone who has an Internet connection and a desire to learn.

Intended as an act of "intellectual philanthropy," OpenCourseWare (OCW) provides free access to course materials such as syllabi, video or audio lectures, notes, homework assignments, illustrations, and so on. So far, by giving away their content, the universities aren't discouraging students from enrolling as students. Instead, the online materials appear to be only whetting appetites for more.

"We believe strongly that education can be best advanced when knowledge is shared openly and freely," says Anne Margulies, executive director of the OCW program at MIT. "MIT is using the power of the Internet to give away all of the educational materials created here."

For the full story click here.

A couple of remarks about this program some of which are contained within the story itself.
One of the highlights of college is the chance to interact with other students. It is good to be exposed to their questions and comments about the material. The obvious challenge here is that this interaction doesn't exist.

On the other hand the benefits that this offer outweigh the negative.

Alabama: 45th in helping kids, No. 1 in paying coach

Alabama has their priorities straight, don't they.

MONTGOMERY, Alabama (AP) -- The $4 million-a-year salary offered to the University of Alabama's new football coach has some questioning the priorities in a poor state that often ranks near the bottom nationally for education.

Many Crimson Tide fans, hopeful for another championship title, cheered the hiring of Nick Saban, who took a cut from his $4.5 million salary to leave the Miami Dolphins. His compensation at Alabama, though, makes him the highest paid college coach in the country, well ahead of Oklahoma's Bob Stoops, who makes about $3.4 million.

The reported salary is more than most CEOs make in a state that ranks 46th in the country in household income, with a median of $37,502. It also is nearly seven times what the university's president, Robert E. Witt, earns, according to an executive-compensation database compiled by the Chronicle of Higher Education.

The hiring announced Wednesday also came on the same day Education Week magazine released a study showing Alabama ranked 45th nationally in giving public schoolchildren a chance for success.

"You couldn't have a more stark picture of education priorities in the state of Alabama," said Jim Carnes, communications director for Alabama Arise, a coalition that represents the poor. "We put that kind of money into a college football coach and leave our younger children at the mercy of inadequate schools and underpaid teachers. We strongly need a priority adjustment."

Click here for the full story.

Hawaii Versus The Caribbean

This is not a post about which location is superior to the other. Nope, it is a comment about perception. I have friends and relatives who had the misfortune to be born and bred on the East Coast.

When they speak about visiting Hawaii it is in terms of this exotic locale that is located far away, or to quote my nephew really, really, really, really, really far away.

I on the other hand think of it as a short 5 hour plane ride which is kind of how they refer to places around the Caribbean.

Not that any of this matters.

Urinal Talk With Air Time

Good old AT thinks that we should spend more time discussing urinals in the blogosphere. Ask and you shall receive.

Here are links to posts that reference the urinal:

The Germophobe

Ladies Urinal

Talking Penis

Teach Your Boy To Pee Like a Man

Urine For a Story

He Stole My Lunch

Thus ends Thursday afternoon potty talk.

Fantastic Four 2- The Silver Surfer

A Few Links That Caught My Eye

How Women Pick Mates vs. Flings

Overwhelmingly, participants said those with more masculine features were likely to be risky and competitive and also more apt to fight, challenge bosses, cheat on spouses and put less effort into parenting. Those with more feminine faces were seen as good parents and husbands, hard workers and emotionally supportive mates

Celebrity Patents

Last month, Google introduced its new Patent Search feature (in beta), allowing users to dig through 7 million US patents from 1790 to mid-1996. On-line patent searching has already been possible through the US Patent and Trademark Office website, but Google makes it fast and easy using their already familiar interface.

So, inspired by Google’s new easy-to-use patent search, I decided to dig up some of the celebrity patents that have been issued over the years. The following 18 patents are all by celebrities not usually known for being inventors. You can follow the links to the actual patents to learn more about each one.

And here is a link to highlights from the 1988 Slam dunk contest. I loved it.

Books I Want To Read- A Follow Up

Last April I wrote about three books that I wanted to read. I finished two of them long ago.

Blink : The Power of Thinking Without Thinking

A Feast for Crows (A Song of Ice and Fire, Book 4)

I am thinking about reading Blink again. It was quite interesting. I stumbled onto the author's website today. Here is a blurb about Blink:

1. What is "Blink" about?

It's a book about rapid cognition, about the kind of thinking that happens in a blink of an eye. When you meet someone for the first time, or walk into a house you are thinking of buying, or read the first few sentences of a book, your mind takes about two seconds to jump to a series of conclusions. Well, "Blink" is a book about those two seconds, because I think those instant conclusions that we reach are really powerful and really important and, occasionally, really good.

You could also say that it's a book about intuition, except that I don't like that word. In fact it never appears in "Blink." Intuition strikes me as a concept we use to describe emotional reactions, gut feelings--thoughts and impressions that don't seem entirely rational. But I think that what goes on in that first two seconds is perfectly rational. It's thinking--its just thinking that moves a little faster and operates a little more mysteriously than the kind of deliberate, conscious decision-making that we usually associate with "thinking." In "Blink" I'm trying to understand those two seconds. What is going on inside our heads when we engage in rapid cognition? When are snap judgments good and when are they not? What kinds of things can we do to make our powers of rapid cognition better?

I am still very interested in reading his other book The Tipping Point.

1. What is The Tipping Point about?

It's a book about change. In particular, it's a book that presents a new way of understanding why change so often happens as quickly and as unexpectedly as it does. For example, why did crime drop so dramatically in New York City in the mid-1990's? How does a novel written by an unknown author end up as national bestseller? Why do teens smoke in greater and greater numbers, when every single person in the country knows that cigarettes kill? Why is word-of-mouth so powerful? What makes TV shows like Sesame Street so good at teaching kids how to read? I think the answer to all those questions is the same. It's that ideas and behavior and messages and products sometimes behave just like outbreaks of infectious disease. They are social epidemics. The Tipping Point is an examination of the social epidemics that surround us.

A Quick Round up

Here are my most recent posts:

How Personal Should A Blog Be?
Wednesday Night Tunes
Going Commando
Do You Have Satellite Radio?
I Am Puzzled By Some Things
I Call It My Hand In The Kitchen

BTW, here is useless blog trivia for you. My most popular recent posts include:

Taking Stock of Life- A General Accounting
"One Post to rule them all, One Post to find them,"
How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs
Saddam Hussein Execution Video

Most popular keywords

Hussein execution video
"Saddam Hussein Execution Video"
Vinko Bogataj video
frum sex (Chaim you were right)
how to make hard boiled eggs
I hate the holidays
Die Santa Die

How Personal Should A Blog Be?

I sit here at a desk that has a couple of piles of papers on it. The stack on my left are bills that need to be paid and the stack on the right are those that need to be filed. To my left is a blue couch that beckons to me. I can hear its siren song gently urging me to collapse upon it in blissful couch potato land.

I refuse to give in. My mind is still too active to try and shut down so I choose to stay here where I can try and sort through the chaotic cacophony that lives inside my noggin. During my brief time blogging I have enjoyed using this as a therapeutic tool.

It is the place where I air out my thoughts and consider what my true feelings are. The name was intentional. I didn't want to pigeonhole myself into being one kind of blog. In the beginning I really didn't have any idea what this blog would mean to me and I certainly never expected that anyone would take the time to read the things I write.

In fact the lack of interaction in the beginning probably made it easier for me to really vent. I opened up and typed out things that were/are incredibly personal. In general I don't expose myself like this. It is not my thing.

But, I did. Not just once or twice but on many occasions. I wrote about crying, the death of a grandparent, a friend and some other personal events.

It felt good to get it out. It felt cathartic and I was glad to have the opportunity. And then things changed a bit.

I was outed. My blog was discovered and people tried to use it against me. They tried to use the things that I shared to hurt me. They read my words and looked to attack me where they saw my vulnerabilities.

It was an unpleasant experience. I am not the first blogger to have this experience nor will I be the last, but that doesn't change the bitter taste it left in my mouth. I felt violated. It may sound silly to you. This is a public place, but I chose anonymity intentionally. I had always wanted the choice over disclosing who I am.

And in the interest of full disclosure let me say that I have been participating in various online forums for a good nine or ten years now. It was my experience there that led me to choose anonymity.

I am not trying to paint myself to be a victim. I have always given as good I have gotten and in some cases I may have given more than my fair share of internet chatter.

All I know is that a while back something broke inside me. Some of my love for the medium was taken away. Some of my desire was destroyed and I am not sure if it will ever come back. Now I find myself checking myself. Now I notice that I censor things in a way that I never used to.

I suppose what I am really saying is that I miss the freedom of expression I used to feel. I miss that naive feeling I had. It is like Adam and Eve suddenly noticing their nakedness. I never used to notice it.

Now when I look back at some of the old stuff I cringe. I haven't removed any of it. I don't have any immediate plans to do so, but you never know what the future holds.

That is it for now. See you around.

Wednesday Night Tunes

Want to know what shakes The Shack? Here is a partial list of what has played on my iTunes from this morning to this evening.

Without Me
Eminem
Atomic Dog
George Clinton
Paul Revere
Beastie Boys
Going Back to Cali
L.L. Cool J
Walk This Way
Run-D.M.C.
Rapper's Delight
The Sugarhill Gang
Danny Boy
The Celtic Tenors
What A Little Moonlight Can Do
Billie Holiday
Nice Work If You Can Get It
Ella Fitzgerald
It Was A Very Good Year
Frank Sinatra
My Way
Frank Sinatra
Iron Man
Black Sabbath
Knockin' On Heaven's Door
Guns N' Roses
Girls, Girls, Girls
Mötley Crüe
Home Sweet Home
Mötley Crüe
The Memory of Trees
Enya
May it Be
Enya
Deliver Me
Sarah Brightman
Who Wants to Live Forever
Sarah Brightman
Kiss
The Art Of Noise Featuring Tom Jones
Last Dance
Donna Summer
Woke Up This Morning
A3
Fanfare For The Common Man
Aaron Copland
Amazing Grace / Nearer My God to Thee
Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Babe I'm Gonna Leave You
Led Zeppelin
I Can't Quit You Baby
Led Zeppelin
Dazed And Confused
Led Zeppelin
Kashmir
Led Zeppelin
La Mamma Morta (From Andrea Chenier)
Maria Callas
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
Neil Diamond
Hurt
Nine Inch Nails
Hurt
Johnny Cash
Love Train
The O'Jays
Galbi
Ofra Haza
Wild Sex (In The Working Class)
Oingo Boingo
Just Another Day
Oingo Boingo
Hard to Handle
Otis Redding
Walkin' After Midnight (1961 Remake)
Patsy Cline
Secret World
Peter Gabriel
I'm Too Sexy
R*S*F (Right Said Fred)
Gonna Fly Now
The Rocky Orchestra
Young Turks
Rod Stewart
Crying
Roy Orbison

Going Commando

I loaned a pair of gym shorts to someone who had forgotten his.

Sounds innocuous enough, doesn't it. Well maybe for some people, but few things in my life are that easy.

Nope. The guy that loaned the shorts too happened to go back to the locker room at the same time as me.

Inside that secret stronghold of men I discovered that not only had he gone commando in my shorts, he expected that I would take them back right then and there.

I was taken aback. Most people would have offered to wash them. But what really got me was his having let his boys roam free in my pasture.

You just don't do that. It is a violation of the code of men. You just don't go there.

Do You Have Satellite Radio?

This year I have two basic purchases that I intend to make. I need to get a GPS for my car and I also want to pick up a satellite radio system.

So I am interested in finding out how many of you have a satellite radio system in your car and your opinions about it. Do you have a preference between XM and Sirius? What equipment do you recommend?

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you for your help.

I Am Puzzled By Some Things

Perfect Stranger

Brutal Murder

These terms trouble me. Is there an imperfect stranger and is there a murder that isn't brutal. I mean, doesn't murder imply brutality. It just sounds redundant to me.

Excuse while I go ponder upon this.

I Call It My Hand In The Kitchen

Posting From My PDA

Here at The Shack we are constantly in search of new and innovative ways to blog.

This post comes straight from my Treo.

I cannot say that this is my favorite way to blog. I have big hands so it is actually a bit cumbersome.

But in the name of science we sometimes must make sacrifices.

A Million Dollars- It is Not What It Used To Be

Forbes has an article that describes what $1 Million buys in homes around the world.

"There was a time when $1 million could buy an urban penthouse, a waterfront villa, even a mountain chalet.

But those days are a thing of the past, according to Liam Bailey, head of residential research for worldwide property adviser Knight Frank. "One million dollars doesn't buy very much in the most desirable global property locations," he says.

Translation: Good luck finding four bedrooms, never mind a waterfront locale, for $1 million--at least in today's highly desirable markets like Paris, London and New York.

In the latter, says Elizabeth Stribling, president of Manhattan-based real estate brokerage Stribling & Associates, "Generally speaking, you're spending $1 million for a prime, one-bedroom apartment."

And despite bloated inventory typical of a sluggish market, those set on living downtown, but looking for a $1 million two-bedroom will need to travel north to the far corners of the less-hip Upper East or West Sides, she says.

Little changes when you look at similarly established markets overseas, says Bailey. Among them: London, Tokyo and Paris, where, for the most part, $1 million buys only 328, 522 and 594 square feet respectively, according to the firm's calculations.

"Not only has time marched on in real estate markets, but the position of the U.S. dollar as the world currency has weakened significantly against the Sterling and Euro as well," says Ian Payne, senior vice president and managing director for Europe, Middle East, Africa and Asia Pacific for Realogy (nyse: H - news - people ) global relocation firm Cartus. To put that into perspective, the purchasing power of $1 million is nearly a quarter less in the U.K. today than it was five years ago, he says.

"So in London, depending on where you are, that might buy you a very nice three-bedroom apartment or it might buy you a one-bedroom apartment,” he says, “but it no longer gets you anything wildly impressive."

Newer to the list of increasingly expensive locales are emerging markets like New Delhi and Dubai, which have seen property values soar in recent years.

But fortunately for those without a multitude of zeros to spend on a home, the dollar--or one million--can go much further if you're willing to look further afield."

Click here for the whole story.

What I Am Listening To Right Now

Here is the mix on my iTunes at this very moment.

Love Without End, Amen
George Strait
Not Ready to Make Nice
Dixie Chicks
Hate Me
Blue October
The Mystic's Dream
Loreena McKennitt
The Mummers' Dance
Loreena McKennitt
Right Now
Van Halen
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Ennio Morricone
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: "The Ecstasy of Gold"
Ennio Morricone
How Soon Is Now
Morrissey
Colors
ICE-T
Fight The Power
Public Enemy
Turn This Mutha out
MC Hammer
Above
Blue Man Group
We Believe
Red Hot Chili Peppers

Comment: I love listening to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly: "The Ecstasy of Gold". It makes me feel like I am out on some dusty trail beneath a bright blue sky and blazing sunshine.

New Years Day Round Up

If you haven't been by the Shack in a while here is a short round up of my recent posts:

Taking Stock of Life- A General Accounting
Animal Sacrifice is Dangerous
Right Now
Health Is More Important Than Age
"One Post to rule them all, One Post to find them,"
Shouldn't That Be Merman
How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs

Taking Stock of Life- A General Accounting

Did you ever think that you would hear these three names together:

Gerald Ford, James Brown, Saddam Hussein.

I didn't think so. This part of the post is called Jack's avoiding the topic. Today I received news that really bothers me. A dear friend of mine has angiosarcoma of the lungs. I won't spend a lot of time trying to explain this to you all. Perhaps one of the docs wants to take that on. I am not trained for that.

What I can tell you is that this is a nasty cancer and that my friend's docs are not able to provide a real time line. I can tell you that this friend of mine is all of 37 and has purchased a plot. I can tell you that every thing that I read about this suggests that we are not going to have all that much time left together.

I have lost too many friends already and the thing that kills me about this is that I cannot say that it is just one. That would be one too many. No, it is more than that. Some of you died from cancer and some were lost in auto accidents and a couple of you committed suicide. I won't claim that we were all close, but I was exceptionally close to some of you.

When I close my eyes I can see us. It is summertime and we are in running around the beach. It is Tisha B'Av and we are on a hillside in Jerusalem reading Eicha. It is Winter and we are running around Buffalo telling stupid stories about what life is like for Jewish teens on our island home in Maui.

When I close my eyes I see you all. We are young and vibrant and so very alive. The future is bright. I can hear you speak. I haven't forgotten you. I haven't left you to rot in the dust, but I don't carry the pain of your loss in my pocket anymore.

But with this news it brings it all back. It reminds me of those I have had to leave behind. It reminds me of just how much good there is in my life. Because if I didn't remind myself it would be too easy to just wallow in this.

I learned from you all. I learned from the experiences both good and bad. They helped me to grow, sometimes faster than I wanted to.

*****************************************************************

I saw Rocky Balboa. I had to. I love stories like that. I love the watching the underdog fight his/her way to the top. During the movie Rocky gives this speech about life. He discusses how life can beat you down. In essence he says that it is not about hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.

It sounds like a cliche, doesn't it. I like it. It makes sense to me. To use another tired cliche life is what you make of it. I can't stop the cancer. I can't explain it. I can't save you and that is hard for me because you know that if I could I would.

You know that if it was that simple I'd pick you up and shield you. You know that if I had the power I would use it. You were there during that awful time in '98 when we watched 'D' fade away and die. You were there because you were part of the group, part of the team.

It was one of those tests of faith. You know that I would and you know that part of what makes this so hard is being placed again in a position in which I feel relatively powerless.

However, as I told you again today, I am not completely without power. I am here. I can and will help. I can take on some of the responsibilities and ease some of the burden. It is not much, but sometimes the hardest thing to do is to accept our limitations.

*****************************************************************

I need to clarify one thing. I believe that one of the most important tools we have is our mind. Ani maamin, I believe with all of my being that a strong will and a good attitude can help you weather some of the most terrible storms.

I'll spare you the tired claptrap I just typed and ask that you keep on fighting. Just keep on fighting and I'll be there to help you however I can.

Animal Sacrifice is Dangerous

Who knew that animal sacrifice was so dangerous.

"ANKARA, Turkey - Over a thousand Turks spent the first day of the Muslim feast of Eid al-Adha in emergency wards on Sunday after stabbing themselves or suffering other injuries while sacrificing startled animals.

At least 1,413 people — referred to as "amateur butchers" by the Turkish media — were treated at hospitals across the country, most suffering cuts to their hands and legs, the Anatolia news agency reported.

Four people were severely injured, crushed under the weight of large animals that fell on top of them, the agency reported. Another person was hurt when a crane used to lift an animal tumbled onto him, the agency said."

Right Now

Stumbled onto the video here and it just grabbed me:



The lyrics make sense, don't they:

"Don't wanna wait til tomorrow,
Why put it off another day?
One more walk through problems,
Built up, and stand in our way ,ah
One step ahead, one step behind me
Now you gotta run to get even
Make future plans, dont dream about yesterday, hey
Cmon turn, turn this thing around
Right now, hey
Its your tomorrow
Right now,
Cmon,its everything
Right now,
Catch a magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything
Miss the beat, you lose the rhythm,
And nothing falls into place, no
Only missed by a fraction,
Slipped a little off your pace, oh,
The more things you get, the more you want,
Just trade in one for the other,
Workin so hard, to make it easier, whoa,
Got to turn, cmon turn this thing around
Right now, hey
Its your tomorrow
Right now,
Cmon, its everything
Right now,
Catch that magic moment, do it
Right here and now
It means everything
Its enlightened me, right nowWhat are you waitin for
Oh, yeah, right now
(solo)
Right now, hey
Its your tomorrow
Right now,
Cmon, its everything
Right now,
Catch that magic moment, and do it right,
Right now
Right now, oh, right now
Its whats happening?
Right here and now
Right now
Its right now
Oh,
Tell me, what are you waiting for
Turn this thing around"
Van Halen- Right Now

Health Is More Important Than Age

From CNN's story about Dr. Roizen:

"Their latest best-seller: "You: on a Diet," subtitled "The Owner's Manual for Waist Management," was No. 1 on The New York Times best-seller list of advice books in mid-December and their book, "You: the Owner's Manual" was No. 7.

Picture of health

To look at Roizen, it's clear that his waist self-management is working flawlessly for him. His face is unlined, and at 5 feet, 4 inches tall, he wears his 135 pounds well.

Did he ever struggle with weight, the focus of his book and his medical inclinations? Roizen offers a brief frown, a glance at the ceiling of his book-lined office -- many of them his books, buttressed by awards, plaques and appreciative letters -- and acknowledges yes, years ago in between competitive squash seasons.

Roizen, whose offseason weight would balloon to perhaps to 150 pounds before the beast was subdued, says dieting and a healthy lifestyle have been too much trouble for most people.

"We have not made healthy as much fun as we've made video games or as much fun as we made reality shows, and it should be," he says. "The mistake we've made with healthy is not making it understandable enough for everyone to enjoy their own body and understand what's going on."

That's where the YOU brand enters the picture. Like the earlier Roizen-Oz books, "You: The Smart Patient" and "You: The Owner's Manual," "You: On a Diet" offers healthy advice in simple language meant for the masses.

Example: They describe fat as an energy bank account for making needed withdrawals and compare cholesterol in arteries to grout used to fix cracks in shower tiles."

I think that I am going to check the books out.

Haveil Havalim Is A Swinging Good Time

The much anticipated 100th edition of Haveil Havalim is live at Bagel Blogger.