December 31, 2008

Gaza Update 5

Happy New Year. Goodbye 2008, hello 2009.

This marks fifth installment of round ups about the conflict in Gaza.

Here are links to the previous editions:

Gaza Round Up Part One

Gaza Round Up Part Two

Gaza Round Up Part Three

Gaza Round Up 3.5

Gaza Round Up Part 4

Gaza Update 4.5
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CNN is late in the game with Israel uses YouTube, Twitter to share its point of view. Maybe they should be reading this blog.

Haaretz has two stories that are worth looking at, Israelis who blame Israel are not helping the Palestinians and IDF recommends major, but brief Gaza ground offensive.

From The Razor Walking In Israel’s Shoes. Rhymes with Right Israel NOT Targeting Civilians.

Baron Boddisey offers Israel’s Struggle. Jewish World Review has a column called Israel's Response Is Disproportionate.

Pajamas Media The Gaza War: Is It Really So Hard to Understand? and Israel’s Morality Versus Hamas’s Morality: Who Are The “Peace Activists” Anyway?

Powerline shared Hoping for Change in Our Middle East Policy and they include a post about a DOS attack on their site at Hamas H.Q. Bombed; Power Line, too.

Harry's Place reports UK telecom firm cuts ties with Israeli company and Iranian newspaper publishes criticism of Hamas; gets shut down.

The Volokh Conspiracy discusses how Hamas is using human shields.

Israel Politik shares Aid to Gaza Continues: 31 December.

Ki Yachol Nuchal! provided a Short Mantra for Parents of Soldiers, and Others Who Love Them.

Day Five of the War in Beer Sheva at Shiloh Musings.

What War Zone has New Year's greetings, Happy New Year from Hamas!

Yid With Lid asks Do Hamas Mothers Love Their Children? and The Truth About The BOGUS Gaza "Medical Crisis"

Honest Reporting has a primer on the war here.
Gateway Pundit ran Pro-Hamas Nutjobs Glue Themselves to BBC-- Sing Moonbat Songs (Video).

That is it for now. More to come as needed.

Gaza Update 4.5

I finally jumped onboard and am part of Twitter. I am not sure yet how often I am going to use it, but who knows, maybe it will become a regular feature. You can find me at http://twitter.com/TheJackB.

This marks round up 4.5

Here are links to the previous editions:

Gaza Round Up Part One

Gaza Round Up Part Two

Gaza Round Up Part Three

Gaza Round Up 3.5

Gaza Round Up Part 4

Before we get to the round up here is an old joke:

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Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and an Israeli sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, 'I'm a Texan, so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili.' The leader nodded to an underling who returned with chili. Rather ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'

Katie Couric said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take my tape recorder, then describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someone will hear it and know I was on the job till the end.'

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Couric dictated some comments, then said, 'Now I can die happy.'

The leader turned and said, 'And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?'

'Kick me in the ass,' said the soldier.'

'What?' asked the leader? 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'

'No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Israeli.

So the leader shoved him into the clearing and kicked him in the ass. The soldier was sent sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flack jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the rest of the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the soldier was untying Rather and Couric, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?'

'What?' replied the Israeli, 'And have you two assholes report that I was the aggressor?!'
*************************************

In the news we have the following stories:

David Grossman is in the New York Times with Fight Fire With a Cease-Fire. Dershowitz is in the Christian Science Monitor with Israel, Hamas, and moral idiocy.

YNET reports that the rocket that hit BeerSheva was made in China and Hamas PM: Crazy war must end unconditionally.

Jameel and Aussie Dave are still live blogging the war.

Seraphic Secret has a great post up in which he exposes YouTube's questionable behavior and reveals that the terrorists are hiding in hospitals. Go read And the Oscar Goes To...

Meryl has The result of the “lull” and discusses Hamas war crimes.

The Rebbitzin's Husband explains Why didn't Disengagement from Gaza work?

On The Fringe Writes what will it take to stop the terrorist attacks?

Yid With Lid featured the Return of the Bad Old Middle East and explains why Israel did not agree to a ceasefire.

From Joshuapundit Gaza:A Tale Of Selective Morality and Tribal Warfare.

At My Right Word Yisrael discusses a guest columnist in the WAPO
Amateur? Israel - Or Daoud Kuttab and The Washington Post? and responds to David Morrison's anti-Israel article in the Irish Times.

Martin Kramer has Hamas and the Bushes.

At Writes Like She Talks you should read Gaza-Israel rocket range map in English & Hebrew. She also has her own round up to read.

PT Watch continues to keep count.

In The Atlantic you can read The problem with Israel-Palestine blogging. Israel Matzav responds to that here.

Mere Rhetoric shares:
Breaking: Arab Youths Spray Gunfire At Israeli Mall Workers In Denmark,
Oh-So-Brave Hamas Soldiers Fleeing Into Mosques And Hospitals
and Iranian Students Storm Multiple Embassies In Totally Uncoordinated, Completely Spontaneous Anti-Israel Protests.

Right Wing News has Gaza should thank Israel.

Jules Crittenden covered French Humanitarianism.

Check out Gaza: The Hedgehog, The Fox...And The Jackal.

American Power blogged World's False Moral Equivalence Emboldens Terrorists. Rav Aviner has provided Hilchot Tzava - Halachot of the Army.

Confederate Yankee suggests that we Empty Gaza.

Not Quite a Recap- Let's Talk about Body Parts

In an attempt to escape being seen as the All Gaza, All The Time blog I am going to regal you with tales on my adventures on the high seas. You ever notice that the term is always "high seas" and never lower. Maybe the Shmata Queen is correct about short people and things getting no respect.

Before the hostilities began I had intended to work on a general recap of the blog and my life in 2008. But as the saying goes, "People plan and G-d laughs." So here I am with a watered down version that is going to cover a bunch of different things.

Let's begin by relating a recent conversation with my son. Earlier this week the big guy followed me into the bathroom and decided that it would be cool if we both urinated at the same time. Yes ladies, sometimes even the boys hit the bathroom in pairs.

As we stood there I made sure to remind him to pay attention and suggested that we follow the Ghostbuster's rule and not cross streams. In the midst of this the big guy looks at me and says:

Son: So that is what my penis is going to look like when I am a grown up.
Dad: I suppose. You'll definitely be bigger than you are now.

Son: How big will I be?
Dad: I don't know.

Son: How big are you?
Dad: I don't know.

Son: Can't you tell me?
Dad: Tell you what?

Son: How big your penis is. How many inches is it?
Dad: I have never measured it.

(It is a perfectly innocent conversation, but the juvenile side of me is fighting to whip out some crazy remarks. Something along the lines of it is 3 feet long and when I don't use it I keep it rolled up like a danish or use it as a belt. But I don't say that and he is smarter enough to know better.)

Son: Why not? Why haven't you measured it?
Dad: I never cared. Didn't have a reason to. It works just fine.

Son: Do they ever get to be too big?
Dad: Too big for what? (uh oh, where is this conversation going?)

Son: When you make a baby you have to stick it in a girl's vagina. Do they get too big or too small.
Dad: Nope. Everything works.

(Since he is only 8 I decided to try and make it simple, but at this point I just know that simple isn't going to completely satisfy him.

Son: How big are vaginas?
Dad: Big enough to take care of things.

(At this point I am tempted to tell him that it is similar to spelunking. The doctor puts on gloves, a miner's helmet and ties a rope around his waist before he dives in to grab the baby. But since I know that he is probably going to tell his mother and others I restrain myself.)

Son: I see your smile. Tell me for real.
Dad: Everything fits the way that G-d intended it to. Do you have any plans to try this any time soon.

Son: Gross. I don't even want to get married.
Dad: No problem. Enjoy being eight.

That last exchange marked another moment in which I had to restrain myself from making some obnoxious remark about things. I'll leave that particular one to your imagination.

I'll readily admit that I was happy to end the conversation. It is not that I mind talking to him or answering questions, but sometimes they go off on these wacky tangents and I never know when they might come back. But I was happy to note that he remembered enough from the how to make a baby conversation to ask relatively appropriate questions.

So back to our recap. In some ways 2008 has been an exceptionally difficult year. There is an awful lot that has happened that has been both challenging and unpleasant. But there have been some really good things too. What it really shows me is that my life really isn't that different than so many other people.

This past year I pounded out just under a thousand posts. Here is a quick and incomplete look back at some of what appeared here:

I am In Love
What Benefits Do You Receive From Being President
Holding a Grudge
Is It Blogworthy
Some of My Favorite Posts
Thanksgiving in Mumbai
Music and Fragments of Fiction
I Am A Lonely Man
Must Blogging Have a Purpose
Dear Tooth Fairy
The Disappearing Accent
I Talk In My Sleep
Food For Thought
He Put a Gun To My Head
Do You Live Your Dreams
What Is Your Number One Tip For Building Traffic to The Blog
Anonymous Blogging
She Broke My Penis
What Makes You Happy
We Still Carry The Pain of Our Past Part II

Daddy You Died
The Best Break Up Songs
What Should Children Learn in School?
My Fourth Blogiversary- What Do I have To Say
Whether The Storm or Weather The Storm

How Long Do You Wait While on Hold
Cover Songs- Part 1
For A Good Time Call...
Death Comes For Us All- When Do you Start Saying Goodbye

Dancing WIth My Daughter
Second Annual Link To Jack Day
A Life Without Regrets
Coping With Sick Parents
My Dad Has A Problem
Penis Talk Revisited
Streets of Philadelphia

The Worst Album Covers- Ethel Merman Disco Mix
Paying For Private School- Part II
Playing With Your Webcam
Cheeseburger Leads to 911 Call

Gaza Update 4

I finally jumped onboard and am part of Twitter. I am not sure yet how often I am going to use it, but who knows, maybe it will become a regular feature. You can find me at http://twitter.com/TheJackB.

This marks the fourth round up. Here are links to the previous editions:

Gaza Round Up Part One
Gaza Round Up Part Two
Gaza Round Up Part Three
Gaza Round Up 3.5

(I know, Ben-Yehuda this is technically number 5.)

CNN reports that Israel has rejected a truce. Of course reports like this make it seem as if Israel is the bad guy and do a poor job of reflecting the real reasons for the hostility. It is shameful the manner in which some people try to minimize the threat of the rockets as if people shouldn't care.

The BBC reports Israelis ponder ceasefire calls. Also from The UK We must adjust our distorted image of Hamas.

Don Surber reflects upon that last story here.

As is tradition allow me to remind you that liveblogging continues at IsraellyCool and The Muqata.

Jewish Current Issues says that A Proportionate Response Would Be to Eliminate Hamas.
Michael Totten writes What Would a Proportionate Response Look Like?.

Bookworm has a post called Hamas’ “Heroes” — and the need for total victory over evil.

Commentary discusses Sderot with Sderot Under Siege.

The Elder reports that Women and children deaths pretty low and includes If the IDF made Hamas-style videos....

Atlas Shrugs gives us ROUND-UP: UGLY PRO-HAMAS, ANTI-JEWISH RALLIES ACROSS AMERICA.

From Boker Tov Boulder Anti-Israel Pandemonium in Gaza City Fort Lauderdale FL USA

and

CNN "explains" the "evolution" of Hamas without ever using the word MURDER -- Plus, What "Truce"?

Lady Light shares her thoughts here.

A new update will be published shortly.

December 30, 2008

Gaza Round Up 3.5


This is part 3.5 in a continuing series of round ups about the current situation in Gaza. It is a collection of posts and articles from around the world and blogosphere. If you have posts that you think should be included email them to talktojack-now-at-sbcglobal-dot-net or let me know in the comments.

Gaza Round Up Part One

Gaza Round Up Part Two

Gaza Round Up Part Three

First from the MSM:

At Ha'aretz Cabinet debating 48-hour Gaza truce as international pressure grows and Amos Oz: Hamas responsible for outbreak of Gaza violence.

The New York Times Amid a Buildup of Its Forces, Israel Ponders a Cease-Fire. Benny Morris on Why Israel Feels Threatened. And Egypt Offers Humanitarian Aid but Is Criticized for Refusing to Open Gaza Border.

YNET reports that rockets have reached Beer Sheva. JPost has Battlefront Twitter and an essay from Daniel Pipes called Insight into Bush's 'promising' Middle East.

Der Spiegel has 'Hamas Stupidity No Excuse for Israeli Overreaction' and Egypt in Quandary as Gaza Raids Divide the Muslim World.

Jameel and Aussie Dave are still live blogging the war.

I suggest you read A Fatah Friend Writes: I'm Supporting the Israeli Air Force and Iran creates “war crimes” court for world to ignore.

At Mere Rhetoric you should review One-Third Of Hamas Launchers Too Deep In Residential Areas To Hit By Jet (Plus: Temporary Truce Rumors Debunked?)

Seraphic Secret has a post called Honest if Unlettered Arab Rhetoric.

Yid with Lid continues to cover the conflict Dershowitz on the Idiocy of Moral Equivalence, Cynthia McKinney Father Expect That She Will Try To Enter Gaza Again and Gaza War Videos You Won't See on Mainstream Media.

Soccer Dad has a good post called Reporter, heal thyself and another that explores whether Israel's actions are strengthening Hamas.

What War Zone has the Daily Gaza Update: Whatever

Boing Boing discussed technology and the war with Gaza Attacks: Two Related Reactions, in Second Life and Twitter. For a response to that post look here.

APRPEH offered Israel attacks Hamas: Euphoria Matured - Reality Settling In and Gaza War Message Confusion (what is the goal?)

Daniel Pipes has a dozen thoughts about Israel's War on Hamas.

Daled Amos took Notes On Today's Conference Call On Gaza. Mere Rhetoric took part too, America's Voices Conference Call - Operation Cast Lead.

Completing the Mere Rhetoric trifecta is this post about public relations: Israel Launches High-Tech Public Diplomacy Outreach To Explain Operation Cast Lead.

At Hot Air you'll find Assad calls for end to “massacre” in Gaza at meeting with … Arlen Specter.

Here is another note from Netivot.

Gaza Round Up Part Three

***Second Update 9:30 A.M. P.S.T.***
This is part three in a continuing series of round ups about the current situation in Gaza. It is a collection of posts and articles from around the world and blogosphere. If you have posts that you think should be included email them to talktojack-now-at-sbcglobal-dot-net or let me know in the comments.

Gaza Round Up Part One

Gaza Round Up Part Two

And now onto part three:

The IDF has some very interesting videos on YouTube. Check out IDFADESK.

Jameel and Aussie Dave are still live blogging the war. They both provide news and information that you might not see anywhere else.

The Sandmonkey is at it again with news about the Egyptian Embassy in Yemen and an Egyptian Officer that was shot by Hamas.

The WSJ has Israel's Gaza Defense. ADD Rabbi provides a valuable service with BBC Translators.

The Rebbitzin's Husband has the story Behind the United Nations' War on Israel.
At LGF you can read Washington Post: 'Amateur' Rockets 'Nagging' Israel.

Daled Amos says: Four Days After Hamas In Gaza: Now What? Here is a link on Twitter that discusses Qassams in Sderot.

Carl has a video that shows how people live in Sderot.

Soccer Dad blogged about The Media Assault on Israel and on a post that is also crossposted on Yourish he asks the question Did a Hamas lie find its way into a Washington Post headline?

Baka Diary asks Where's The Outrage in a post that puts names and faces to those killed in rocket attacks.

Yid With Lid has The GAZA Story That The Media DOESN'T Cover and a story about a Hamas terrorist who was killed.

Jules Crittenden asks So, What Next? Hyscience is Reassessing Sharon's 2005 Gaza Pullout and they also shared Palestinian girl: 'Hamas is the cause in the first place of all wars'.

The Right Truth blogged Another day and Israel is standing her ground. Incidentally I meant to blog about Caroline Glick's column in which she mentions that Hamas has legalized crucifixion. Talk about medieval justice.

Glenn Greenwald is not taking advantage of a free vacation to Sderot. Meryl has had her hands full with some of the usual knuckleheads. It is worth taking a look at Hatemail of the day.

American Power blogged about how the World Rallies to Palestinian Cause

Commentary offers Sderot Under Siege. Israel Politik says Missiles Land in Ashkelon and
Citizens’ “Press” Conference on Twitter.

It is worth reading The Gaza War in The Atlantic. From Mother in Israel we have War in Gaza: Report from the Home Front.

Tzipiyah offers In Israel, Hospitality Replaces The Need For Refugee Camps. My Right Word reports that the Israeli Navy stopped a boat from reaching Gaza and links to a clip about The Dignity.

If you want to get a sense of what it is like to fall out of frying pan and into the fire click here. You can also read about the war situation in Netzer Hazani in Ein Tzurim here.

Lest we take ourselves too seriously Benji is Liveblogging reading blogs.

Want to help? Check out Raizy's post here and Treppenwitz here.

Solomonia is getting the news out Boston: Support Israel Rally TOMORROW (Tuesday) at 5PM
Gateway Pundit is spreading the word, Support Israel Rally Tuesday Night In New York City. Back of the Hill is doing the same about a Counter Protest in Support of Israel in the Bay Area.

December 29, 2008

My Own Theme Song

A couple of years ago I put up a post about my own theme song. As I mentioned in the previous post it is time to revisit it. Since I am feeling a bit lazy I'll post it again below:

Someone once suggested that life would be far more fun if we could walk around with a theme song. I kind of like the idea. If I could do it than I would want to have a rotation of songs to use.For example, here are the top five I would want right now:

O Fortuna- Orff
Hurt- Johnny Cash version
Raiders Of The Lost Ark: The Raiders' March- John Williams
Jaws Theme- John Williams
The Empire Strikes Back: The Imperial March- John Williams
I still like most if not all of those songs, but just for kicks let's add a few more to the list:

A New Game- NFL
Requiem for a Tower Movement 4- Cornerstone Cues
Get Down Tonight-KC and The Sunshine Band (Got to give S.Q. something)
Chariots of Fire- Vangelis
You're All I need To Get By-Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell

What music would you pick?

Odds and Ends

After spending most of the past two days focused upon politics I need to spend a bit of time decompressing. So this post is going to be nothing more than odds and ends about this and that.

The 17 long time readers know that I find the holiday season to be tedious. But I have to admit that this time of year I do appreciate the fine food that I seem to stumble and trip over everywhere I go. The only problem is that my metabolism seems to have gone on vacation. The pants are a hair too tight and my shirts, well they could fit better too.

So from a man who hates making resolutions here is one that I will live up to. I am going to move into the gym. Actually I made a decision a while back to get more serious about lifting again and I followed through on that. I have a standing date with my weightset and have been good about living up to my obligations there.

In addition I have been good about using my perfect pushups and have been reaping the rewards. However, I have noticed that age is impacting my workout in ways that it never used to. I seem to have lost a bit of my elasticity in my shoulders and joints. I notice creaking and aches that never used to show up come by and visit me far too often.

We picked up a Wii as a Chanukah gift for the children. I picked up Guitar Hero for me. It has been surprisingly fun and a good distraction at time. I am not very good at it yet, but I am making progress on the easy level.

A while back I blogged about having my own theme song. I still like the idea. I think that I might revisit the topic. See you in the next post.

Gaza Round Up Part Two

************Updated 5:36 P.M. P.S.T.********************

The first round up I produced about the current situation in Gaza can be located here. Part two can be found beneath this. As always I will do my best to try and update this as possible throughout the day. If you have posts that you think should be included email them to talktojack-now-at-sbcglobal-dot-net or let me know in the comments.

FYI- I gather these links from a variety of places. In some cases I am tipped off via email and sometimes through the blogs I am visiting. I do my best to try and provide credit where it is due. My apologies for any credit that I miss giving out.

We'll start out with some links to stories in the MSM:

CNN reports that Israel is in an all out war with Hamas. There are a number of blogs linking to this story moaning over support for Israel's actions. As always I'd like to see what they would say if their next door neighbors spent all day throwing bricks at their homes.

The Washington Post reports that Israel is pounding targets in Gaza. Nice to see that some people keep repeating the "we may not like it, but Hamas is the legally elected government so we have to deal with them line." They are being dealt with in the appropriate manner. You don't hold hands with people who are trying to kill you.

The Grey Lady wrote about Arab Anger. Great, show your anger with Hamas and then let's see what happens.

Surprise, surprise, the protests have started.

Spiegel Online reports that German Chancellor Angela Merkel blames Hamas for the current violence.

In the blogosphere we have a collection of posts that are worth reading. Take a look at:

Palestinians Need Israel To Win.

The Gaza war on Twitter and Hamas shot Egyptian guard, Egypt blams Hamas for israeli attack

From Ricki's Mom we have Israeli News.

The Rebbetzin's Husband asks What is a Refugee Camp? At the Augean Stables The Double Disgrace of Hamas: Victimizing their own People.

At Writes Like She Talks there is another short roundup of posts about this topic. Solomonia has a number of good links as well.

Double Tapper shows a better way to use Rockets. From What Warzone we have By Far, the Most Signficant Development in the Gaza Conflict That No One is Talking About.

Treppenwitz calls it Revenge of The Nerds. A Soldier's Mother who writes What I Want...and What I'll Do.

Daled Amos provided Israel At War: A Primer, International Law and The Fighting in Gaza and Did Someone Mention Hizbollah?

Daled Amos also found Israel's War On Hamas Now Includes YouTube. In case you are wondering, it is a war.

Joshuapundit blogged that IDF Troops Have entered Gaza. At Shiloh Musings there is A Prayer for Our Soldiers and Campaign War.

Dave shared Gaza: The real reasons Israel - finally - retaliated (Update 4)

Arpeh has Gaza War In The Eyes of The BBC and Me.

Jameel is still liveblogging here. Aussie Dave is doing the same here.

Westbankmama is offering Some Perspective. The Other MCCAIN blogged Appeal Against The Thunderstorm.

Avodah Ivrit shared Insanity.

Carl has Sky News: Will Israel undertake a ground operation? and Israel's sorry history in Gaza.

Atlas Shrugs shared Hear O Israel and JEWISH GENOCIDE WATCH: IRANIAN PROXY HEZBALLAH PROMISES ATTACK ON THE JEWS.

Over at Hot Air we have Video: Israel attacking Hamas’ infrastructure of power. Michael Oren writes in The New Republic about a Crisis and an Opportunity and Yossi Klein Halevi has Why Gaza Matters.

BTW, Memeorandum has some other worthwhile links. Soccer Dad has Hamas And Its Boosters.

Gateway Pundit provided Surprise!... George Galloway Joins Violent Pro-Hamas Rally at Israeli Embassy in London (Video) and Pro-Israel Protesters Mobbed By Hamas Supporters in Toronto.

GP also linked to a post by Winston about the protest. Yid With Lid says that Israel Must Regain its Deterrence and discussed Disproportionate Response.

The Sand Monkey said My Head Hurts and Ghaza Again.

Dov Bear shared a post here and joining the war here. Tikkun Olam has Last Night of Chanukah,or: Oferet Yetzukah.

Seraphic Secret reveals Why We Fight.

December 28, 2008

He is Eight-Years-Old

In a few moments or so the day will officially become December 29 and I will be the father of an eight-year-old boy. Some of you will read this and smile as you recollect when your child was this age and some of you will have no frame of reference at all. But let me tell you that I am continually surprised to realize that not only am I a father, but I have a child who is not a baby any more.

Actually he hasn't been a baby for a very long time now, but not unlike many other parents I wonder where the time went. I look at him and I see hints of the baby he used to be but more than anything else I see small hints of the teenager to come. And I suspect that I might even see a few inklings of the man that he will one day be.

I told him earlier today to take his time growing up, there is no rush. It is something that my parents often told me and a lesson that I am trying to pass along. I suppose that I am trying to absorb it myself as well. Or maybe it is just my personal struggle with aging that I am confronting.

When I think back to the time before he was born I realize that I look at it as having been a different life. I remember what life was like, but in some ways I don't really remember anymore. What I know is that every decision that I have made for the past eight years has been tied into him, whether I was conscious of it or not.

Since he has been on Winter Break I have made an extra effort to take advantage of the time. I have tried to make sure to do more fun things with him and to let him help me with more chores around the house. It is not that I didn't let him before, but his school work takes priority and sometimes it was necessary to do the work without him.

He has helped to repair a drawer and a gate. He has talked to me about all sorts of school stuff, including his education about Rosa Parks, Ruby Bridges and Jackie Robinson. He has spent time teaching me how to do second grade math and then asked me how it was that I already knew how to do it.

I got a kick out of the look on his face when I told him that I have already been through school. "You mean that even though you didn't have computers you learned this stuff."

We have spent time playing on the kids new Wii, Lego Star Wars is a particular favorite. I am amazed sometimes that a movie I loved as a kid has turned into a bonding exercise.

In between we chased each other around the house, threw a football around and terrorized the girls because according to him that is what we are supposed to do. Who am I to argue with such logic.

Just before he went to sleep we spent more time telling each other secrets and I did my best to answer some of his questions. A short while ago his mother and I let him know that there is a chance that he may go to a new school next year. Thus far he has spent his entire school career in private school and is nervous about public school.

I told him not to worry about it and that everything would work out, but I have to admit that I am nervous about it too. I don't want to have to take him out of his school, I love it. But we'll have to see what happens.

Anyway, that is enough about the big guy now. Maybe I'll write more about it all later.

Gaza Round Up Part One

**Updated**
Here is a quick roundup of posts about the current activities in Gaza. I am jammed for time but I'll do my best to try and update this as things progress. My apologies for the lack of organization.

At the Augean Stables you can read Astonishing Statistic: How does this operation rank in the history?

Jules Crittenden shared Gotcha. Nasrallah is threatening to open a second front. For more on this check out Israel Matzav.

EOZ has a post about how the terrorists use their own people to try and gain the upper hand in Hamas leveraging Gazan lives for political gain. Confederate Yankee Writes about it as well in Because Monsters Are Always Monsters.

From Seraphic Secret: IDF Targets Hamas Military Targets and Egypt: "Hamas is to Blame."
Esser Agaroth provided What Took 'Em So Long?

The Rebbitzin's Husband Kassams, Air Strikes, Gaza Invasion, UN Resolutions, Withdrawal, Kassams... and then what?

Solomonia Israel: Abandoning failed policies? and Nature Takes Its Course in Gaza (Updates).

Bookworm wrote about The Pieta. And Mere Rhetoric shared Palestinian Authority, Arab Countries: Of Course This Is Hamas's Fault.

Yourish delivered Hamas is fighting the last war, redux and War snark. At Shiloh Musings they discussed the Seventh Day of Chanukah.

Jameel is live blogging. Hot Air says Hamas gets its war. What War Zone offered the obvious title, Here We Go Again.

Yid With Lid covered GAZA ATTACK!!!! Is Israel's Policy of Restraint FINALLY Over ? and Obama's Silence on Gaza Speaks Volumes. Not to mention US Terrorist Group CAIR Rips Israeli Action in Gaza.

Judeopundit on Soccer Dad's blog has Guardian: "Analysis: The latest attacks in Gaza rank with Deir Yassin and the Sabra and Shatila massacres" it is also crossposted here.

From Daled Amos IDF Strikes Back At Hamas in Gaza Israellycool is live-blogging the Israeli retaliation against Hamas as well.

Westbankmama shared Tzav 8 - Reserve Soldiers Are Being Called Up. Tzipiyah posted We Will Not Put Our Heads Down In Shame!

A Soldier's Mother has a post called Dawn. Baka Diary heard the Jets all day long.

Tel-Chai Nation is talking about the activities as well. Treppenwitz asks 300 Dead What.

My Right Word shared the following: Marty Peretz goes gung-ho, Today's Quiz and Just Sitting Around.

Here is a link to CNN's report about the situation. Jewlicious has Hamas’s Winning Strategy. Backspin said: Hamas Blocks Gaza's Wounded From Treatment.

Gateway Pundit says: Hamas: Israel Bombed Islamic University in Gaza ...Update: Egyptians Fire on Palestinians!

More to come my friends. If you have a post or hear of something worth including let me know in the comments or send an email to talktojacknow-at-sbcglobal-dot-net.

Things That Aggravate Me

I woke up this morning in a foul mood and had planned on going off on a rant about all sorts of things. But due to time restrictions I am going to save that rant for later and share a couple of quick comments about things that aggravate me.

Parking lots are a central source of aggravation. It is a virtual guarantee that I am going to get aggravated by something in a parking lot, especially if it is a Trader Joe's or Costco parking lot. The problem is that a parking lot is a place that is designed to make people focus on themselves and that is what happens, drivers pay little to no attention to what is happening around them.

I always get stuck behind the jackass who decides that they are going to drive less than a mile per hour down the lane in the hope that they do not miss a space. Driving speed in a parking lot is a touchy thing, because I get irritated with the fool who thinks that it is ok to pretend to be Jeff Gordon in the lot as well.

I get especially irritated with the person who thinks that parking headfirst in the space applies to other people. Perhaps they have neck trouble and think that backing into the space will make it easier to pull out when they leave. In that case I wish that they'd never get behind the wheel because if you can't turn your head what the hell are you doing driving.

You people irritate me almost as much as your counterparts inside the freaking grocery store. There is enough material here for a separate post. I could write about those people who are next in line at the checker but decide to run off for one more item or their friends who carry 11 items into the ten or less line.

Yes, I am the guy who counts how many items you have and yes I will move your cart out of the way if you are not back in time. Your time is no more valuable than mine. Make a list before you go to the store and check it off as you go. As for the too many items guy well I know that if I let you sneak by with eleven you're going to decide to try and slip by the next time with 25. Feh on you.

Two more quick comments about things that aggravate me.

Unsatisfying meals- I love to eat. It doesn't have to be gourmet and it doesn't have to home cooked every time. There is something thoroughly disappointing and disturbing about a unsatisfying meal, especially when there is nothing at the meal that is enjoyable. More on this at a later date.

A poor night's sleep drives me crazy. Now I am sure that I am one of many who find this to be irritating, but I don't care about you, I am writing about what aggravates me. And at the moment the terrible night I had has left me foaming at the mouth.

Most of the time I sleep well. It doesn't matter if I am stressed out, hungry or whatever, I fall asleep. But every now and then I find it difficult to fall asleep and sometimes suffer from bad dreams. Well, last night was one of those nights.

I couldn't fall asleep and when I did I had a million different nightmares. So I woke up this morning spitting blood, breathing fire and shooting laser beams from my eyes. That is pretty good if you work as a spawn of hell or are employed as a superhero. But it is not as enjoyable for a guy like me.

So if you'll excuse me I am off to go storm around the house and wreak havoc somewhere. If I have to be this cranky I might as well share the moment with someone else.

HH is Live

You can find it here.

Milk

I saw Milk. It was excellent. Actually managed to catch a number of other flicks including Defiance, Rachel Getting Married and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

I enjoyed them all, but liked Defiance best. Got a few others to hit including Gran Torino and Revolutionary Road.

Eastwood has long been one of my favorite actors. I don't agree with much of Sean Penn's politics, but he is a fine actor. Who would have thought that the man who played Jeff Spicoli would come so far.

I think that I'll probably add to this post later on. At the moment it is a bit too late and I am a bit too tired and pissed off to write any more.

Who says I love You First

This has got to be one of the dumbest articles I have ever read. I have to wonder if the author truly believes what she has written or if this was a feeble attempt to meet a deadline. If you read the article you'll see that this woman says that men should always be first to say "I love you."

"So what happens if you get there first and you say it and he's not there yet? What happens when your "I love you" is met with a "thank you," or worse, a deer-in-headlights look? Well, it stings, sure, but more than that, it can stop a perfectly happy and healthy relationship in its tracks before it's even too far from the station.

If a woman asks a man out and he says 'no,' at least she knows where she stands with him and she doesn't waste any time pining over someone who isn't interested. Same thing goes if she makes a move on him and she's rejected.

If she's in a serious relationship -- one where the expression of love has been made clearly by both partners -- and she's eager to make a deeper commitment, there's nothing wrong with proposing. At the very least, it'll start a conversation of where the relationship is headed so the woman can decide for herself if and how long she's willing to wait if the man isn't interested in getting married yet.

But an "I love you" uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn't feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn't get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely."

I suppose that part of what annoys me about this nonsense is that there is a lack of logic here or at least a lack of acknowledgement that men run the same risk. If a man tells a woman that he is in love with her he risks her bolting from the relationship just as she does in the reverse.

December 25, 2008

I Hate Christmas

So the Chanukah holiday madness continues to plague my life. Ok, that is a really unfair characterization of one of my favorite holidays, but I kind of like the way that it sounds. So because I like to use this blog as both a place to vent and a chronicle of my life allow me to share more notes about the current Chanukah season.


Chanukah season comes from the mouth of the almost eight-year-old boy that lives with me. The guy I call "Little Jack" told me he hates Christmas and that Christians don't know how to share. I look down at the big guy and say that there is no reason to hate Christmas. He replied with a large dose of almost eight-year-old boy logic and reason.

"Christians need to share the holidays with us. All we ever see are Christmas decorations and Christmas songs. Why aren't there more Jewish things. That would be more fair."

Being the good father I smiled in a fatherly way and said "there are a lot more Christians here and because of that there tends to be more Christmas stuff. There is really no reason to hate it."

He grimaced at me and said that there was no reason why they couldn't share better and that for every Christmas show there should be at least one Chanukah. I told him that I understood, but sometimes life isn't fair and that it is still not a reason to hate the holiday.

"But dad, they are celebrating a lie. Santa Claus is a fat faker!"

I asked him why he said that and where he had heard such things. He told me that I had taught him that Santa was fake and that we didn't believe in Christmas or Christian things.

I replied and told him that was correct and then asked him if I had ever told him that he should hate Christmas or that it was a lie. And that was where he really hit me with another solid dose of almost eight-year-old boy logic and reason.

"No, you never said any of those things. But if it is not real then it must be a lie and I hate being lied to. And I really hate being lied to when people can't share. Why can't they share better!"

Now I have to admit that I can see exactly how he came to his conclusions and part of me was proud of his deductive reasoning skills. However, I don't want him running around saying these things to other people.  It is not right and I made sure that I explained it to him.

I told him that it is ok for people to have other beliefs and that we didn't care. As long as they are not forcing those beliefs upon others we don't care. I explained that if someone told him that his beliefs were predicated upon a lie he would be angry. He asked me to repeat that line, "predicated upon a lie" and then asked me to explain what it meant. Note to self, don't be surprised when he uses that line upon me. 

We went back and forth for a few more minutes about being tolerant and why I would be intolerant of him telling other kids that Santa isn't real and that Christmas is a lie.  Eventually he told me that he understood, but he did tell me that he wants to talk to Santa. I asked why and he told me that he wants to tell him that he shouldn't try and fool kids into believing that he is real.

So the gift I got out of this conversation is the knowledge that the big guy can be just as stubborn and singleminded of purpose as his dad. 

Two days after this conversation he told me that he wants to go visit one of our elderly neighbors to help decorate her tree. I hesitated for a moment and then asked him why he'd want to help if he hated the holiday. He looked at me as if I was stupid and said, "I don't hate it that way dad." And then he proceeded to make me feel very proud as he told me that he thought that since our neighbor was old it would be really nice to help her decorate her tree and make her smile.

A few other notes to share. Every Chanukah we tell the children that we need to go through their old toys and find some to give away to children who don't have any. The dark haired beauty was irritated with her older sibling and tried to show it by piling up some of his new gifts and suggesting that they would be good gifts for other kids.

As you might imagine this was not well received by the big guy. His father however has to admit to trying hard not to smile. It is hard not to when a pretty little girl in a princess dress smiles at you. Oh did I mention that she used her magic wand to give to me everything I want including "super magic."

Not quite sure what "super magic" is, but I think that it must be pretty good. Maybe I'll do some research upon this and report back later. That is it for now.

I Loved This George Will Essay

This is fine essay recounting some of the events of 2008. It is worth looking at. Here are a few excerpts:

"If 2008 were not divisible by four, this would have been The Year of Gen. David Petraeus. During the presidential contest between an African-American from Chicago and a plumber from Toledo, eros reared its beguiling head, so: Coming soon to a Cineplex near you, "Republicans in Love," a romantic comedy about conservatives who advocate extravagant presidential powers and who this autumn favored putting the governor of a national park (the federal government owns 63 percent of Alaska) in close proximity to those powers."
and
"Peanut allergy had its 15 minutes as a cause of public health hysteria, long enough for the vigilant schools of Union County, N.C., to ban PB&J sandwiches. In New Haven, Conn., an eighth grader was suspended, removed as class vice president and banned from a school honors dinner because he bought a banned substance from a classmate. The substance was Skittles, the fruit-flavored candy. A food fascist explained that candy sales violate the school system's wellness policy. In Prince William County, Va., police were called when Randy Castro, 7, a first grader, became the subject of an incident report titled "Sexual Touching Against Student, Offensive." While still 6 he had smacked a classmate's bottom. Residents of New York City are becoming obese almost three times faster than other Americans, which is probably partly explained by nanny-mayor Michael Bloomberg's jihad against smoking. Compulsory calisthenics—"Central Park at 6:30 a.m. Be there or be fined!"—cannot be far off."

December 24, 2008

Madoff Madness- Elie Wiesel

I haven't commented on this story here. Made remarks on other blogs, but haven't said anything here yet. But I expect that I will. I am very angry. I know people that were affected. Some of them are going to be ok and some are not. But it is not about whether people will survive or not.

It is about a fundamental flaw in this man's character that allowed him to ignore the devastation that he was unleashing upon so many. There are a lot of different charities that I could write about, but I am taking the "easy road" because this story is out there already.

Survived the Holocaust to see his work so severely damaged by the greed of another. Terrible.

WASHINGTON (AFP) – The Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity lost more than 15 million dollars -- nearly all of its assets -- in the alleged fraud scheme run by Wall Street baron Bernard Madoff, the fund said Wednesday.

"We are writing to inform you that the Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity had 15.2 million dollars under management with Bernard Madoff Investment Securities," said the foundation, which aims to combat anti-Semitism, on its website.

"This represented substantially all of the Foundation's assets," it said.
"We are deeply saddened and distressed that we, along with many others, have been the victims of what may be one of the largest investment frauds in history."

The statement added that the foundation "remains committed to carrying on the lifelong work of our founder, Elie Wiesel. We shall not be deterred from our mission to combat indifference, intolerance, and injustice around the world."

Wiesel, 80, a Nobel laureate and prolific author who survived the Holocaust, created the foundation some 20 years ago to foster international dialogue and youth programs to teach tolerance.

December 23, 2008

Chanukah 2008 Continued

You know that line about those who forget history are doomed to repeat it? Well tonight kind of made me think of that. Let me set the scene as best I can.

The year is somewhere around 1976 or '77. Your hero (that is me) is a young schoolboy. Happy, well adjusted and glad to recite all of the Welcome Back Kotter lines with his friends, "up your nose with a rubber hose" was a personal favorite.

My family is at home. My sisters and I are involved in different activities around the house. At some point in time my middle sister and I have a disagreement about something. I can't remember what I did, but like a good big brother I really aggravated her. She hauls off and belts me in the mouth. It doesn't hurt, but it does knock out a loose tooth.

I am infuriated by this. Looking back I think that I was more upset by the idea that my little sister got one over on me than anything else.

Flash forward to the present. The family is at my folk's house. It is filled with aunts, uncles and cousins. I hear my son scream and he comes marching up stairs holding his mouth. I see blood and ask what happened. He hands me a tooth and tells me that his younger cousin kicked him in the mouth and knocked out his tooth.

That younger cousin just happens to be the youngest child of the sister that knocked out my tooth. He is truly sorry and tells me repeatedly that it was an accident and it probably was.

A little bit later all if forgiven and forgotten and we go to light candles. I bask in the glow of the lights and the smiles on the faces of the kids. We finish the blessings and the kids run and sit in the living room. I look at my father and say that he should get ready to play grandpa.

We walk over and my son tells me that they are all ready to get their gifts. I look at him and say that we're not doing gifts tonight. My niece looks at me and says, "don't tease us Uncle Jack." I smile and tell her that I am not.

Jaws drop and confused looks from the children are pointed towards us. My son takes the lead again and says that it is not funny, the joke is over. I assure him that tonight there are no gifts and then the heavens unleash a torrent of young voices upon us.

I quiet them down and remind them that the holiday is not only about gifts. I give them two minutes of patented parent P.R. and add a dose of guilt. And then I remind them that another reason we are not exchanging gifts is because not all of their cousins are there. Not to mention that the good news is that they will get gifts the next night.

Kids shrug their shoulders at me and grumble for a moment. I offer a free kick in the pants or punch in the nose. No one takes me up on it. They run off to play and I look at my father.

"What are you looking at," he asks. I tell him that I want his opinion on how I did. He smiles, pats me on the shoulder and says "you're learning." I smile back and tell him that it is still ok for him to give me a gift that night.

He smiles and sticks out his hand. I place my hand in his, knowing what is coming.

"Congratulations."

And the lesson here is that old family tricks never die, even those that still aren't funny. Ok, I laughed, but that is a long story in itself. We'll save it for a different day.

At Least We're Not Homeless

Every day I wake up and find myself repeating the same stupid phrase to myself, "At least we're not homeless." It is a mantra that I use to pretend that I feel ok about our situation. It is one those stupid mind tricks that people use to try and convince themselves that the situation really isn't that bad. It is no different from saying "things could always be worse."

Well, I hate that fucking line. Stop telling me that things could always be worse. Sure they could. I could have a terminal disease. I could be injured in some sort of industrial accident and be paid the grand sum of $10,000 for the loss of an eye. Or I could be eaten by a wild animal.

Sure, things could be worse, but that doesn't make me feel better. It doesn't remove the sting of the current pain. It doesn't make me feel any less worse. It doesn't help to tell me that my situation isn't my fault. I know that it is not really my fault. I know that I am not really responsible for my predicament.

But the thing is that no one is going to rescue me. The government isn't going to bail me out. I don't have any reason to expect that I am going to win the lottery, find the golden goose or magic beans. Sometimes shit happens and you laugh about it and sometimes you find that shit gets poured down your back. I don't know about you, but I don't find that be particularly funny.

What I do know is that even though I may not be responsible for my situation I am the only one who can get me out of it. And at the moment I haven't got a clue as to how long it is going to take and truthfully little hope that things will not get worse.

So I stand here before you doing what I have been taught to do, be responsible, be accountable and take it like a man. And I keep repeating my little line, "at least we're not homeless" but what no one hears me say are the two words I never mention out loud, "not yet."

He Ate Seven Pounds of Latkes

I love latkes, but this makes my arteries ache. I have to add that knowing that there is an Association of Independent Competitive Eaters makes me feel good. It is proof that there is a hobby/profession for everyone.

A 23-year-old mechanical engineering student downed 46 of the potato pancakes in eight minutes to win a contest at a Long Island deli.

Pete Czerwinski says he'd never eaten a latke before consuming about seven pounds of them Sunday at Zan's in Lake Grove. The Toronto bodybuilder says he's just "a power eater" whose brain never signals that he's full, according to the Long Island daily Newsday.

Association of Independent Competitive Eaters Chairman Arnie Chapman says Czerwinski demolished the contest's previous record of 31 latkes, set in 2006.


Happy Festivus



One more post about the greatest holiday: The Angry Morning- Festivus

December 22, 2008

What is Chanukah

I intend to write a post about the holiday, but again find myself very tired. So for those who want a serious explanation about the day I offer you this link.

Haveil Havalim #197

Haveil Havalim #197, the weekly carnival of The Jewish/Israeli Blogosphere is now live here.

The Secret of Gift Giving

There is a secret for giving gifts, but not everyone knows what it is. The bad news is that I am not going to offer it up in this post. However I will share a few thoughts/comments about giving gifts.

In many families there is one relative who is known for giving terrible gifts. That is the sort of thing that you never want to be accused of saying about another and it is definitely something that you don't want to be said about you. But the reality is that most of us have received a gift that we found less than inspiring.

And though we tried to pretend to be grateful it was hard to smile and offer thanks for having received something that we just couldn't believe we had gotten. One of these days I need to dedicate an entire post to this topic, but not now.

The thing about the secret to gift giving is that there really are multiple secrets to be aware. There is the secret to giving a gift to a spouse or significant other, there is the secret to trying to be the cool aunt/uncle/friend/parent and the secret to trying to make sure that other parents do not hate you.

Since I am a father I am going to share some tips for how to make sure that parents do not hate you. Believe it or not there are some relatively simple rules that you can follow.

  1. Don't give gifts that make obnoxious noises. Sirens, beeps, whistles and screeches are bad. As a rule of thumb I reciprocate by providing the child of the gift giver with a drum set. Or if they are single I hire a marching band to visit them during the early morning hours on the weekend.
  2. Don't give gifts that require 36 hours to assemble. It is not cool. The kid doesn't like it and the parents definitely do not.

Those are the two primary ones. Obviously there are others. And just as obvious is the rule that if you dislike the parent and child you should give them a gift that is obnoxiously loud and requires a degree in engineering to assemble.

And there you have it my friends, a practical toolkit that you can use to your benefit.

December 21, 2008

Chanukah Begins Woohoo- Night One

I think that I am in a bit of a blogging rut again. I am just not happy with the quality of my posts so I keep nuking them and starting over. Every time I say something like that the Shmata Queen accuses me of trying to generate more comments to feed my ego.

I usually respond to those accusations by making fun of the burning river and reminding her that she has lived more than half of her middle aged life outside of that place. 1...2...3...DUCK!

In case you are wondering that was strictly for myself. The queen has this big black purse that your grandmother would be jealous of. I can't believe how much junk she has in there. I think that she thinks it is sort of like Felix the Cat's Bag of tricks.

Let me tell you, the last time she managed to hit me in the head I saw stars, they were in her eyes. Those bright eyes positively glowed. All hail the lovely queen. Ok, enough of the fake fawning and homage and back to the point of the post, it is Chanukah.

It is one of my favorite holidays. I can give you a million reasons why. I can talk about how even though it is a minor holiday in importance, it is quite significant. But it is really late and I am not in the mood to be very serious. So instead I'll opt to say that the serious post comes later.

Right now let's say that I like the holiday because of the memories of the past and those that we are creating now. The look on my kid's faces is classic. Let me tell you if you really want to have fun tell your children that you are getting them socks and underwear for gifts and then really give it to them. Watch as they try to maintain their composure and be grateful.

It is a great tool to use to teach, the holiday that is. We always spend time talking about why we celebrate it and why we should be thankful for what we have. And they also get my lecture about why I hate the holiday season and the message that there is one time of year to be good.

We usually give the kids something every night, but not every one of those gifts is a major one. The formula is to try and give them each one big gift and a bunch of little ones.

More on this later.

Haveil Havalim is Coming

No, really it is. We haven't forgotten about you. Hang in there, it is like one of those really cool Chanukah gifts that you can't wait to receive.

December 20, 2008

Portable Sewing Machine Increases Sweatshop Workers Productivity


New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go

December 19, 2008

The Duggar's one More Time

I must admit that I have been surprised to see just how much traffic the Duggar stories generate. This post from last May is constantly being pinged by people:

The Duggar Family Revisited

Anyway, they apparently just had baby number 18:

Michelle Duggar has given birth to her 18th child.

The Arkansas supermom delivered the baby girl by Caesarean section Thursday at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers. The baby, named Jordyn-Grace Makiya Duggar, weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long.

Recent Posts

In case you haven't been around here is a quick roundup of recent posts:


December 18, 2008

Thursday Night

I seem to be doing a lot of the the music posts lately. But it is my blog and I enjoy doing these. So here is a short look at some of what I listened to today.


Breakfast at Tiffanys- Deep Blue Something
Dela Dela - Sacred Spirit
Amazing Grace- R.Carlos Nakai
Insomnia- Forever Faithless
Atomic Dog- George Clinton
Closer to Fine- Indigo Girls
I'm a Man- Spencer Davis Group
Gimme Shelter- The Rolling Stones
No More Tears- Ozzie Osborne

My 20 Favorite Actresses

My friend Robert tagged me with the 20 favorite actresses meme. I had to think about this one for a while. 


Initially I wasn't sure that I had 20 favorites, but I think that I came up with a decent list. It is not what I'd call risky, but then again there aren't really any right/wrong answers here.  But I can guarantee that I am going to want to to change it.

Some people will agree and some will disagree. The way I see it if it moves you then you can consider yourself tagged. One more thing, the list is not in order of importance.
  1. Meryl Streep
  2. Ingrid Bergman
  3. Raquel Welch
  4. Glen Close
  5. Cate Blanchett
  6. Ann Margaret
  7. Lauren Bacall
  8. Katherine Hepburn
  9. Kathy Bates
  10. Anne Bancroft
  11. Diane Keaton
  12. Julia Roberts
  13. Sandra Bullock
  14. Emma Thompson
  15. Diane Lane
  16. Gilda Radner
  17. Kate Winslett
  18. Susan Sarandon
  19. Judi Dench
  20. Fay Dunaway

The Search For Happiness

You can call this post The Search For Happiness. It is one of those posts in which I find myself thoroughly unsatisfied with the end result. I had 800 words or so written down but I decided that I just didn't like it so I nuked it and started over. This is the result.

As a child I had a lot of different dreams about what I would be when I grew up. Many of them were the typical things that you might here. Professional athlete, Fireman, President, Lawyer, Doctor, Sports writer.

As time passed so did my interest in some of those dreams. I suppose that you could say that my interest in being a pro athlete never did pass, but my ability didn't allow for that particular dream to continue. I'll write more about this in a different post.

My interest in some of those other professions waxed and waned over the years for a variety of reasons. Some of it was due to practical reasons and some of it due to what you could call extenuating circumstances. It is fair to say that part of the personal challenge for myself and a number of my friends is the lack of burning desire to become a (fill in the blank). I'll readily admit to feeling mild jealously to those few people I know who are doing exactly what they love.

I don't want to live to work. I work to live. See I can rattle off all the little cliches. I don't want a job, I want a career. But there is so much truth in those thoughts. Life is very short and I want to enjoy it with passion and with gusto. I want to wake up feeling like I am ready to attack the day. It still happens from time to time, but not with the frequency I want.

If you ask why I can give you a list of reasons and I can give you a rudimentary framework for how I am trying to change the areas that are deficient. But I would be remiss if I didn't try and explore how I got to this place and why.

The simplest answer is that people change. I am just not who I was. Many of the things that used to be important to me are just not all that exciting or interesting to me. Many of the things that I thought that I wanted fall into the category of not necessary.

When the boys and I sit down and discuss this we all agree that life experiences are responsible for creating this change in us. It is a bit unsettling. I have always found big changes to be a bit tough. But I also know that I can't continue along the path I am walking on without making some adjustments.

One of the guys told me that he fears that he won't find a place where he feels truly happy and that right now all he wants is to focus upon being happy in the moment. I understand that. I have always been a bit restless and felt this sort of wanderlust. I have wondered if that is always going to prevent me from really enjoying life. But when I think about it I realize that I have a lot of really good memories and some of them are in the very recent past.

The very recent past. That gives me hope and strength. It is a reminder that I am not looking backwards and saying that the best is behind me. It means that there is no reason why the best is not yet to come.

This search for happiness is a very personal and intimate thing. For me at times it has been a struggle and I suspect that there are going to be some very tough moments ahead. But I have to do as I teach my children.

That means I need to identify the problem and try and determine what the solution is. And as I tell the children it means that before I ask for help I need to determine if I can solve it myself. Too bad it is not as simple as the challenges that they come to me with.

In the not so distant future the kids and I are going to have more discussions about how to deal with a challenge head on. I see too many of the parents of their friends creating future issues by always fixing things for their kids, but that is a separate issue altogether.

What I do know for certain is that if I want my children to succeed on their own quest for happiness I have to give them the tools to do so. One way to do so is to let them learn from their father's experience.

And that is all I have to say about this for now.

A 5 Minute Internet Talk Show

From a Garage in Van Nuys:

Anytime With Bob Kushell Episode one with John Stamos

December 17, 2008

Taking a Risk

So my pal the Rebbetzin's Husband is concerned about being young and dynamic. I get it. That is sort of a theme lately, the idea of being young and dynamic. Or maybe I should clarify and say that the boys and I are really wrestling with this aging thing. We're out there kvetching to each other about all sorts of crap about life.


In our band of merry men that I refer to as the boys we have a motley crew of fellows I have had the pleasure of being friends with for what feels like a thousand years. We have been through marriages, childbirth, divorce and death. I know that I have said a million times, but I still think that it is bizarre to be able say that we sound like the model for a bad sitcom. We're not supposed to be the stereotype.

I mentioned that to another father and he looked at me and said, "what makes you so special that you wouldn't fit into the stereotype. They are built on reality and then exaggerated."

I suppose that the answer is that my mental image of myself is different. In my mind I am not pushing 40. I am somewhere between 19 and 25. It may sound ridiculous, but sometimes when I look in the mirror  I am shocked to see the guy looking back at me. The face has more wrinkles than it should and the hair isn't quite what it used to be. The belly is a bit soft. If I flex I can still see the cuts, but takes a bit of doing. 

If I really was still that kid I wouldn't have to flex. So what are we really saying here. Are we really bemoaning the changes brought upon us by age? Yes, to a certain extent. I miss being able to eat whatever I wanted without worrying about what it would do to my ability to wear jeans. I miss being able to wake up ache free. 

And it would be a lie to say that I never miss the freedom. Sometimes I do miss that sense of anything is possible. I had no worries other than myself. At any given moment I could decide to do anything. Pick up and move to a new country? No problem. Quit my job? No problem. Chase the girl around the world if I felt like it? No problem.

Now things are different. Now I have to measure the impact of my actions upon the family. But the passage of time hasn't been all bad. I have an awful lot of good things that I can list upon my chalkboard of accomplishments.

The advantage of age is that now I understand some things about myself and life far better than I did when I was younger. Now the goal is diferent. Now the goal is to position myself so that I am living a life that is thoroughly satisfying. Now the goal is to focus upon my mental/emotional satisfaction.That is not to say that I didn't do those things before, I did. But when you are 25 it feels like you have a thousand years ahead of you.

I don't feel like that anymore. I don't feel like I am going to die anytime soon either. But I have learned that life is too short to be locked into doing things that aren't fulfilling. So I refuse to be guy that lives in drudgery.

Life is full of challenges and sometimes it is worth taking a risk to get the brass ring. Hell, why settle for brass when you can grab the platinum one.

Time is too short. I don't know about you, but I am not going to live a life based upon someday. I am going to live one that is based upon making the changes that I need to make to really live. Stick around and I just might blog about a few of them.

Leave A Tip For The Waiter

I Love L.A.

It is a goofy video, but sometimes you have to show a little love for the hometown.

December 16, 2008

Living Inside My Skull

"I fell in to a burning ring of fire
I went down,down,down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire."
Ring of Fire- Johnny Cash
There is a fire that burns inside me. It has always been there. I cannot remember a time where I couldn't feel it. Good, bad or indifferent I live a lot of my life inside my head. That means that I think in very graphic terms. It is a blessing and a curse.

It is relatively easy for me to remember the highlights of my life. I close my eyes and I can take myself to the finest moments, but the knife cuts both ways. I remember the bad things far too easily. The nicks, bumps, scrapes and bruises are there with the sunshine and roses. The failures stand next to the successes and they all buck for attention.

Someone told me that this is part of being a storyteller. They said that a true artist must suffer from the trials of passion or they cannot produce their art. I don't know if I buy into that. It sounds good. I like to think that I am a good writer with potential to be great, but I don't know if I can accept what they said.

What I do know is that every day I work at trying to be relaxed and easygoing, but it is not alway easy.
"Well, life is (too short), so love the one you got
'Cause you might get runover or you might get shot
Never start no static I just get it off my chest
Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest
Take a small example, take a tip from me
Take all of your money, give it all to charity
Love is what I got
It's within my reach"
What I Got- Sublime
I try hard to live like that. I work at just letting go and reminding myself that my life is relatively easy, but that fire keeps burning. As I age I find that it is easier to let go but every now and then something happens and I feel the flames shoot up inside of me.

It is no secret that I pay a ton of attention to my children. My son is very much his own person. He is a beautiful boy with so many positive attributes it just makes me choke up with pride. If you are expecting the proverbial but to appear now you are going to have to keep waiting there really is no but.

What I can say is that I have noticed that he shares many of my traits. (Cue Cat's In The Cradle) One of them is that he internalizes things the way that I do. So I suppose that part of my search for answers is so that I can be of more help to him in teaching him to get over things. Too much narishkeit.

Here are the next 10 songs on my iTunes

Broken Hearts- Living Colour
Higher And Higher- Jackie Wilson
Because- The Beatles
I Want A Little Girl- Ray Charles
A Kind Of Magic- Queen
Institutionalized- Suicidal Tendencies
White Lines (Long Version)- Grandmaster Flash, Melle Mel & The Furious Five
God Bless The Child- Billie Holiday
We Are Family- Sister Sledge
Young Americans- David Bowie
The Planets, Op. 32: Mars, The Bringer Of War- Holst
How Soon Is Now- Morrissey
The Hustle- Van McCoy And The Soul City Symphony

Ok, that was more than ten, but it was far too much fun. That is about all I have to say on this topic, for now.

(originally posted here.) This is a green blog. We recycle all sorts of things including posts.

December 15, 2008

Monday Midafternoon Music

Ok, time for a quick summary of some of what I have been listening to today.

Superman- REM
Sweet Child of Mine- Guns N' Roses
Sweet Lullaby- Deep Forest
Tadarida- Batman Begins Soundtrack
Tom's Diner- Suzanne Vega
Mary, Mary- Run DMC
Turn Up The Radio- Autograph
Vincent- Don McLean
Viva Las Vegas- Elvis Presley
You Get What You Give- New Radicals
Cleveland Rocks- The Shmata Queen Sings
You Can Leave Your Hat On- Joe Cocker
Coming to America- Neil Diamond
Since I've Been Loving You- Led Zeppelin

Superman- Music

Was on a different blog earlier today and stumbled onto REM's song Superman. FWIW, I don't think that the sound quality of that video is all that good, but it is another one of those songs that I have always kind of enjoyed.

It is from their album Lifes Rich Pageant. If you click on that last link you'll see that it came out in '86 during my high school days. 1986, hmm...I guess that for some of you that makes me sound really young and to some really old, but I digress.

If you read further down the link you'll see that they mention the song Cuyahoga which will make the Shmata Queen happy even though she left the land of the burning river behind decades ago.

As a high school kid the lyrics kind of caught my attention. They were simple, yet effective. I suspect that at least one person reading this will appreciate them the way that I do.

"(Godzilla doll opens in Japanese with 'This is a special news report.
Godzilla has been sighted in Tokyo Bay. The attack on it by the Self-Defense
Force has been useless. He is heading towards the city. AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!')

I am I am I am Superman and I know what's happening
I am I am I am Superman and I can do anything

You don't really love that guy you make it with now do you
I know you don't love that guy cause I can see right through you

If you go a million miles away I'll track you down girl
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your heart"

If we continue with the topic we have to hit John William's score for the Superman movies and a confession. Sometimes when I am working out and find myself growing tired I put this song on. Most of the time it works.

Second confession. In college I once decided to try to jump onto my bed from about ten feet away. I figured that if I was going to try to fly I might as well have the appropriate music playing. So I took a moment to clear some space, my own personal runway and then turned on the music.

Good old Jack started moving. My feet were pounding the floor and in no time at all I reached maximum velocity and launched myself into the air. If we only had the video footage you'd see two hundred pounds of twenty year old easily clear the bed and slam into the wall. There was nothing graceful about it.

Fortunately I wasn't hurt and I didn't go through the wall, although my shoulder felt like it did.

Third confession. You'd think that having crashed into the wall once would have been enough to convince me not to do this again. Nope, I had to try several more times from different distances because one must always know just what they are capable of.

At a later date I might have to share the stories of when I flew through the closet doors or headbutted a hole in the wall. And people wonder why I hope that my kids have more sense than I did. ;)

What if You Get What You Wish For

The boys and I have been making a real effort to do a better job of staying in touch. It seems that a group of us are all struggling to make sense of where life has taken us. Some might call it a midlife crisis, but I wouldn't. I am 39 and on my way to living to be a 130 or so. For you math majors that means that I am well short of midlife.

But it also means that I have been out of college for more than a couple of years now. I am no longer the fresh faced kid in the office looking at the start of a long and successful career. Now I am a father with two kids in private school, a mortgage and a funny look on my face. Ask my father and he'll tell you that I was born with that look. Do me a favor and laugh at his joke, it will make him feel good. Not to mention all that Kabed et Evecha v'et eemecha stuff.

So a few of us gather around a table to eat lunch and commiserate. We look at each other and ask when we became a caricature of a bad sitcom. There is the soon to be divorced guy who is sleeping on an air mattress at the home of the single guy who has sworn never to get married. Then there is the guy who is so happy and secure in his marriage and life that the rest of us want to puke. I love the guy to death, but when he mentions that life couldn't be better I ask him how he is going to explain the large dent I am going to put in the side of his head.

He looks at us and asks if our lives are really that bad. We smile and give him a variety of answers. Life could be far worse, we're healthy. We have a roof over our heads blah, blah, blah. But something is missing. The answer as to what is missing varies from person to person, but there is a general dissatisfaction.

I throw out the question of what happens if you get what you wish for. What if your dream comes true. What will you do then. One of the guys looks at me and says that it would be perfect, it would be amazing. I smile and ask him if anything is ever perfect. He gives me an answer about perfect moments. I smile back and tell him that I can relate to that. I have a list of perfect moments.

But what happens in between the perfect moments. What do you do to fill up the time. And really, life is never an exact replica of our dreams. Even if you live the dream you get to live some hard times with it. And so I wonder how many times we miss realizing that we are living the dream.

Or what happens if the opportunity comes and you miss it. What happens if that special thing you are looking for shows up on your doorstep. Are you ready to make the move and take the leap of faith. And that my friends is the difference between now and twenty years ago. Now we are encumbered with responsibility and the freedom that we had is gone. Now there are consequences to all of our actions.

One of the fellows looked at me and sarcastically thanked me for inspiring him. I smiled and told him that I believed that we could make changes. I said that it is not impossible and that we shouldn't view things in that light. Every action has its own set of consequences and they aren't always negative.

But I understood his concern and his position. Now it is harder to try and predict the future. Now it is harder to try and foresee what will happen if you take that fork in the road. Maybe it is the gambler in me. Maybe if it just because I have had this restless nature and a bad case of wanderlust, but there is something interesting to me about that fork.

So here I am staring off into the distance. I have dreams of the future. I have some fantasies that I hope work out. Can't say for sure that they will, but then again, I can't say that they won't. What I can say is that I am trying to prepare myself so that if I get what I wish for I will be ready for it.

December 14, 2008

Haveil Havalim #196- My Kids Wish It Was Chanukah Already

Welcome to Haveil Havalim #196, The My Kids wish it were Chanukah edition. If you are unfamiliar this the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere's weekly blog carnival. It is a roundup of posts from around the Jblogosphere. It doesn't matter if you are new or old to the Jblogosphere, this is one of the best ways to find out what is going on.

If you are on Facebook don't forget to join our group. It is the place where you can go and share thoughts and ideas about posts, carnivals and other important information. In just a moment we're going to send you to the carnival, but before we do I have a video to help get you pumped up.






Israel

Ben-Yehudah presents Some Likud Afterthoughts. Westbankmama presents The "Rebels" Have Returned and Win By A Technicality, Lose By One Too.

muse presents Trying To Make Sense Out Of Israeli Democracy,Dirty Tricks-- Likud Style and The "Real Likud".

Ben-Yehudah presents Translation: "Reprogramming". Over at the Muqata you can read Israel's Left/Right to Visit Each Other.

Yechezkel shared a right- wing perspective on the Israeli judicial system in general and the Valis trial in particular.

Over at Jerusalemite you can read A conversation with Gil Peled, eco-architect or you can find out if Jerusalem has a soup nazi hiding out in the old city. Speaking of soup, if you remember Chocolate Soup raise your hands.

And as long as we're playing let's remember I'll pull out Ritchies Pizza. Sometimes I miss that place, or maybe I just miss the Israel I remember from my youth.

More on this at a different time. Because as long as you have been hanging out at Jerusalemite you might as well read about cleaning for Bambi.

Mumbai is still on people's minds.

Dry Bones has a cartoon about Hindu Zionists. Israpundit blogged Muslims, though small in number begin to protest terrorism.

Rafi has the story and video about a rabbi who sings in gratitude for the survivors of Mumbai. You should take a look at A Tribute To Rav Gavriel Noach Holtzberg z"l.

Don't forget to see “Now We Are All Lubavitch.”

From Yid With Lid, William Pfaff -->Mumbai Was The Jews Fault ????

Read more at In Memorium. Gabi & Rivky Holtzberg H"YD and Religion and State in Israel - December 8, 2008 (Section 1).

Section two includes a number of articles: Jerusalem's new secular Mayor Barkat brings Haredim into coalition and much more. To see them Click here.

Mississippi Fred wonders if you can identify the man in this picture. Torat Yisrael has a post that says that Microsoft is supporting Hezbollah's webmail.

Eric presents Prime Ministers in History: Menachem Begin. Israel Chronicles shared Tis the Season- or NOT.

Batya shared one of her greatest mistakes.

Esser Agaroth shared Oh, NOW, They're Upset...

From EOZ we have "Slaughter the Jews", Abbas: "Free Gaza" a joke, PA pays 70,000 Gazans and Le Monde: Hamas isn't really that bad! .

Benji has been eavesdropping Overheard on Galgalatz! You have to love a country where the bus drivers are so friendly. But then again maybe life can be a bit explosive.

From Meryl, British anti-Israel profs lose the fight. Rutimizrachi presents "...where everybody knows your name..." #1.

Go visit Weekend Hospitality and read about Organ Donors in Israel.

Judaism

The Rebbetzin's Husband offers sound advice with What's the first thing to teach children about Judaism? Jewish Atheist blogged about wearing the Frum Costume.

Frum Cynic talked about hats in Black and White. Daled Amos discussed the Kosher Quandary.
The Real Shaliach is Connecting the Anniversary.

Schvach Yid presents Schvach - פני דל. Jacob has a question for the editors of Yeshiva World.

Lion of Zion has a post called Sforno's Jewish Work Ethic.

At Miriam's ideas she discusses threats to Judaism in a post called Bigot. Shira has a thought about Rivka Imenu.

From Judeopundit we have IRNA: "Jewish shrine in Iran registered as national work"

Avraham Rephael (aka Bar Kochba) presents "But some of my best friends are Jewish..."

At Jewlicious you can read about how Treif kills. Are you looking for Chanukah gifts? There are suggestions at EnLightening Gifts.

Esther is helping to pass the candle.

Mother in Israel discusses Breastfeeding and Judaism.


At Frum Satire you can read about the 20 types of guys that every yeshiva has. Hungry? Visit Raizy to learn about Cooking Kosher In A Small Kitchen.

Male and female relationships are covered in a post called Why, as a wife, I still want to see other men.

Politics/World

At Fiery Spirited Zionist you can read about England's Death Knell. The Ima wants to know if you can pray for the economy.

How about taking a gander at FDR versus Kashrut. Yid With Lid offered: Martin Indyk-->Time To SCREW ISRAEL.

Seraphic Secret introduces us to a new publication called Big Hollywood. Something tells me that Schvach isn't a fan of the Big Three.

Fausta's Blog discusses the row caused by Sarkozy's support of Israel. The inimitable Soccer Dad says Silly rabid antisemite hugs are for thugs.

Who knew that Iron Man is Jewish. Speaking of comic books and religion I have a link here that some people might enjoy.

The Velveteen Rabbi has a list of conference posts from The Rabbis For Human Rights conference.

Political party blames feminism for destruction of Israel says Writes Like She Talks. While you are there don't forget to take a look at the Jewish history of Obama home in Chicago.

Yid With Lid shared the story about a judge who says that Jews should be denied bail because they might be a flight risk.

Hubscubs discussed corruption. Solomonia shared Theodore Dalrymple: The Decay and Fall of the West.

Personal/Miscellaneous

Friar Yid presents a post about his grandfather called Reflections on a Yarzeit. Mommy Going Meshugganah had Thanksgiving with the Sailors.

LOZ related the story of Junior and the Cleaning lady.

Yehuda enjoyed a meal at a Waffle House the question is did the waiters enjoy him. ;) Sadly it wasn't at Jameel's Famous Waffle factory. Maybe next time.

Some of you might be interested in taking Anger Management tips from The Rebbetzin's Husband.

rutimizrachi presents Winter Colors, Created By Kids and Ki Yachol Nuchal!: The Nes of the Nachash.


On my blog I posted I am In Love and shared a conversation with my daughter called Dear Santa Take a Memo.

NY's Funniest Rabbi has a post that to me is sort of what blogging is all about go read Kriyat Shma Al HaLaptop.

Shtetl Fabulous presents They Feel the Heat, The Heat Between Me and You.

Carol has a very cool painting here.

Therapydoc asks What's In a Name.

Come here and join the discussion about Jewish athletes.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of haveil havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
Technorati tags: , .

December 13, 2008

Who Was The Better Joker? Jack or Heath

December 12, 2008

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

The Letter

A while back someone asked me to give them a bit of information about how I develop story ideas for Fragments of Fiction.

Not unlike a lot of people I tend to use my own experiences as material. It is much easier to write about what you know. And to a certain extent I pull from stories, songs and different things that I see around me. The combination is usually enough to give me an idea and then I take it and run with it.

When I was around fourteen or so I heard a song called The Letter. Here is a link to the Joe Cocker version. As a teenager I didn't realize how common or powerful the theme of love could be and thought that it would make a great movie. It took a few years and some exposure to films that weren't solely action based to realize that a lot of movies about the topic had been made.

"Give me a ticket for an airoplane
I ain't got time to take no fast train
Oh ,the lonely days are gone
I'll be right home
My baby she wrote me a letter

I don't care how much money I got to spend
I won't find my way home again
Oh the lonely days are gone
I'll be right home
My baby, she wrote me a letter

She wrote me a letter
Said she couldn't live with out me no more
Listen to me mister don't you ever xxxx
My baby once more
Anyway

Give me a ticket for an airoplane
I ain't got time to take no fast train
Oh ,the lonely days are gone
I'll be back home
My baby she wrote me a letter

Solo

She wrote me a letter
Said she couldn't live with out me no more
Listen to me mister don't you ever xxxx
My baby once more
Anyway

Give me a ticket for an airoplane
I ain't got time to take no fast train
Oh ,the lonely days are gone
I'll be back home
My baby she wrote me a letter

My baby wrote me a letter
My baby wrote me a letter
My baby wrote me a letter"


Anyway, I never did write, film or produce that movie. But I have written a few stories that sort of reflect its influences. One day I might take a shot at doing things on a larger scale, but for now I think that these stories will continue to float around inside my melon to be shared with you all upon occasion.

The Perfect Diet

Just paid my bills. Now I am sick and I can't eat.

December 11, 2008

Wanted- A 40 Year Old Shmata

Wonder what you could do with a 40 year old shmata? Hang around and I just might tell you.

Most Popular Posts This Week

I Hate The Holiday Season Continued
Dear Santa Take a Memo
I am In Love
Jericho
What Benefits Do You Receive From Being President
How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs
The Mangroomer

What a wacky world we live in.

Cheap Sunglasses

"Now go out and get yourself some big black frames With the glass so dark thay won't even know your name And the choice is up to you cause they come in two classes: Rhinestone shades or cheap sunglasses Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah"

Cheap Sunglasses- ZZ Top

Years ago I used to think that it would be great fun to get ZZ Top to play at the Chabad telethon. For that matter I still do. Some of you might be aware that the drummer's name is beard.

I have often wanted to grow a beard like them, something really long and "Grizzly Adams" like but up to now I have never had the patience to do so. Not to mention that that the various women in my life have always complained about my attempts to do so, especially one of my grandmothers.

Sunglasses, everyone needs them. They aren't a fashion requirement although some people see them as such. Back in the day it was a Vuarnets or a pair of Ray-Bans, the Wayfarers model in particular. In fact if you saw me during my senior year of high school I more than likely was wearing a pair just like the one in the picture. And I also admit to sometimes dressing like these guys, but more often then not I was mistaken for some Yeshiva bochur and not Jake or Elwood Blues. (I should add that
my first car was a 1969 Dodge Dart Swinger with a slant 6 engine. Not quite the Blues Mobile, but close enough for me to fantasize. But like I said it seemed that in my crowd dressing like The Blues Brothers was an invitation to ask when I had gone BT or Frum.)


For those who wonder I wanted a pair of Vuarnets, especially in junior high, but the cost was prohibitive. I never was a good enough salesman to convince my father to buy a pair for me.


Returning to the women of my life one of the things that I learned was that my girlfriends were very interested in having a say as to how I dressed and what sunglasses I wore. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a case of them saying that they wouldn't go out with me unless I dressed a certain way. I didn't date those girls and even had I wanted to I couldn't have afforded them.

No, it was a simple matter of women seem to enjoy dressing their men. They never really grow out of the playing with dolls stage, it just evolves into the "it is much more fun to play with money and real clothes than to pretend" stage.

And part of the real "fun" was the difference in taste that some of them had, but that is a different story altogether.

Skipping around because that is what I like to do when I tell these rambling, ambling what is the point tales I can tell you that I did eventually purchase a pair of Vuarnets. I think that I was 20. I loved them and so did the girl who came along with me to purchase them. But the the next three women I dated hated the way that they looked on me.

I told them each that I wouldn't part with them although I also made it clear that I would take their opinion into consideration. Maybe that was part of the consideration of why they chose to no longer date me or maybe it was my unwillingness to share my feelings other than in a dark room over a bottle of wine. I don't really know and at this point it doesn't really matter.

During the past decade I decided that it was pointless to spend a lot of money on sunglasses because inevitably someone would sit on them or they would be forgotten somewhere.

Through a series of tests I determined that there is a point at which cheap sunglasses are too "cheap" and just refuse to last. That point is somewhere less than $20. I am not really sure where because some manufacturers refuse to succumb to the siren song of cheap material and cheap labor and somehow manage to still produce quality goods that last.

Unfortunately I am not really sure who those guys are because the few moments of success have taken place when I purchased said glasses from the back of a van, on the boardwalk in Venice or on a streetcorner and the lack of "wrapping" has made it impossible to ID the glasses.

Throughout 2005 I relied upon a $20 pair of cheap sunglasses, only the problem is that I relied upon three pairs of them. They were all the same color/model but nonetheless I had to secure three pairs.

The first pair lasted for several months but were eaten by a ride/creature at the Magic Kingdom, I think. For all I know Goofy stole them and is busy enjoying a free pair of sunglasses.

The replacement pair survived the machinations of two young children but in a tragic even committed suicide by flinging themselves off of my head to a painful death beneath my shoe. Yes, I somehow managed to watch them fall off of my head and then stepped on them. I only wish that I had this on video because it would be worth money.

The third pair didn't commit suicide nor were they lost, they simply didn't have the will to survive and after a couple of months they were history.

And now I have a new pair of $20 sunglasses. With such an "auspicious" history of successful sunglass ventures I have had these blessed by a rabbi, priest, shaman and dumped into my son's "magic water." With any luck this pair will last more than two months.

I'll keep you posted.

(originally posted here)

To Beard or not To Beard

To Beard or not To Beard should have been the question. Whether tis more noble to adorn the male face with hair or to remain shorn. And thus we head into another recurrence of silly season on the blog. Not that it is really such a bad thing, the silly posts seem to be the ones that get the most traffic and that is ok with me.


The Shmata Queen is always hocking me about keeping my beard. She has this thing for facial hair on men. Actually she has a lot of things. You should see her closet, talk about full of junk. Not to mention her many misconceptions such as her idea that a lake can have a beach, but I digress.

In the almost forty years that I have known my father I can only remember two times that he had a beard. When I was about fourteen or so he grew one and kept it for about a year. That disappeared until my grandfather (OBM) died and then it reappeared for about a year. Only this time it was far more gray than before.

My own beard is black with some flecks of red and blond in it. Every time I grow it I get cracks from people about going gray.  I take some small pleasure in pointing out that not only is it not gray, I don't have any on my head either. For those who haven't seen my picture I have a relatively full head of hair. Sadly the front is not quite as full as it used to be, but it is close.

The dark haired beauty recently asked me why I don't have a beard in most of my pictures. I told her that it is because I don't keep it for very long. Her big brother asked the obvious question of why I never let it last. The answer is that I usually get bored with it. That is also the reason that I grow it. I can't do anything with the hair on my head so I might as well do something about my face. 

As a point of interest I wore a flat top for years. I miss it. I used to wake up, run my fingers through my hair and I was good to go.

Anyway, the big guy wasn't satisfied with being told that I get bored with having a beard or not having a beard. He looked at me and said "That is not a reason." It is always nice to have your children use your own line on you. He then hit me with a question that I hadn't expected from him. 

"Dad, did you know that your beard is the same color as the hair between your legs," and thus I provide you with proof that I am not gray anywhere. About this time more than half of you are asking why you needed to know the answer to that question. Truth is that you didn't but that is part of the fun of the blog, you just never know what sort of cool trivia you are going to learn.

If I had my way the beard would grow overnight. That way I could do all sorts of nifty things with it. One day I'd have a beard that would make the boys in ZZ Top jealous and then another I might wear a goatee. Or maybe I'd have mutton chops and a handlebar mustache. Who knows.

Speaking of the moustache that is one facial adornment that I tend to avoid. For some reason it makes me look ridiculous. One day I'll have to upload the shots of me playing motorcycle cop.

Ok, I'd write more but it is well past midnight and I think that I probably should see about getting some beauty rest. Night all, see you sometime in the future.

December 10, 2008

The Music of The Night

As is my wont here is a snapshot of what I have been listening to on the good old iTunes Shuffle:


Maybe I am Amazed- Paul McCartney
Child of The Moon- The Rolling Stones
Let's Get It On- Marvin Gaye
Car Wash- Rose Royce
Loaded- Primal Scream
Walk This Way- Run DMC with Aerosmith
Prodigal Blues- Billy Idol
Silent Lucidity- Queensryche
Cry- Ray Charles

If You Could See The Future Would You Want To

In the midst of all of the current chaos I have heard a number of people say that they wish that they could see the future. It is kind of a nice dream. It sounds like the sort of thing that would be useful. It is a practical skill. See the future and you can be sure that you'll always make the right decisions. At least that is the theory.

There was a time in my life that I used to be one of those people who wanted to know what was going to happen. I'd like to say that it was because I wanted to plan ahead. I'd like to say that it was because I wanted to stay a step ahead of the game. Those were certainly part of the reasons why I wanted that particular skill at that particular time.

But the rules of the blog dictate brutal honesty so I have to acknowledge that it was also because I was a 20 year-old kid who was heartbroken. A relationship had ended and I really wanted to know what was going to happen. Friends who tried to console me told me all sorts of good stories. I heard about their breakups and why they thought that splitting up had been a blessing in disguise.

The reasons varied. Sometimes it was because they led to new opportunities and sometimes it was because the couple had to have time apart so that they could grow and then come back together. But the common theme there was that splitting up was ultimately a good thing. There were one or two exceptions. I heard from a couple of people who said that breaking up had been the worst thing ever. I remember telling one of my friends that he should never consider being a therapist. I think that I said something to the effect of "you'd be the guy who handed the suicidal patient a gun."

Anyhoo, I was like so many other people. I just wanted to know what was going to happen. Would the struggle be worth it. Was it going to lead to some incredible experience or relationship. Was the end really the beginning of something new. I remember looking up at the sky and saying that I was ready for the door to open. It was in reference to that line about one door closes and another opens.

If you ask me today if I'd like to be able to see the future I am not so sure that I would want to. I don't really want to know when I am going to die. Sure you could make an argument that if we knew when we were going to die we'd live our lives differently. I already try to do that. I try not to make excuses to do certain things because you don't know when the end is coming. Still, I don't want to know the exact date. It is more interesting to me to wonder if I have another 200 years.

I am curious to see what sort of people my children are going to grow up to be. I wonder what sort of careers they'll have and what they'll be like. I wonder what my own life will look like in five years. What about ten or twenty or fifty years. What kinds of memories will I have. Will I have lived the life I wanted to live.

Foresight would be nice. It'd be useful to have some sense of things. I'd probably find it easier to relax. I wouldn't worry about going bankrupt or dying of some dread disease because I'd already know about it and be prepared.

I am no different than anyone else. If I could change the past there are some things that I would have done differently. There are jobs that I wouldn't have taken and relationships that never would have been. But I can't help but wonder what I might have missed out upon. There are so many interconnected threads. If I don't follow one path I'd never hit the fork in the road that led me to the other one that gave me that great whatever.

So I think that I am kind of glad that I can't see the future. While I appreciate the thought of not suffering through some of the struggles in the same way I come back to the appreciation of surprises. I can't and won't say that they are all good, but there is something nice about not knowing. The uncertainty has its own rewards.

I suppose that it all helps to explain why sometimes I like to gamble and take a risk here and there.

What do you think?

My Kids Have Never Seen The Brady Bunch

It is not a matter of any significance, but I have to admit that sometimes it is strange to realize just how many stupid pop culture references I am familiar with that my kids are clueless about. They have never seen The Brady Bunch, couldn't tell you who the Fonz was and they don't know what an E-Ticket ride is.

But they can quote Homer, compare and contrast Aristotle, Socrates and Plato and know that the point is moot and not mute.

Ok, it is clearly time for me to try to go to bed. Excuse me while I attempt to discover the secret to sleep. If for some reason I come back here you can blame the Shmata Queen. Illogical, unreasonable, fickle and a major pain in my ass. But for some reason I think that I'll keep her around for at least another week.

Hey, do you think that stupid holiday season spirit thing has gotten ahold of me. I sure hope not, I prefer playing Jack Mcscrooge. It is so much more fun.

Facebook and Photos

It is another late night and I am not even close to being tired. It could be blamed upon the pounding I took today from multiple quarters. It could be said that I feel like someone tried to give me a colonoscopy with an object that was never designed to go where few dare to tread. I could easily go off on a rant about such things, but what fun would that be.

So instead I am going to blame my late hours on sorting through old photos, a few of which even made it onto Facebook. Until recently I had little to do with Facebook. I have plenty of activities which serve the purpose as general timesuck and had been cautious not to get caught up in more. But the damn bug caught up with me.

Actually what happened is that a group of friends of mine all simultaneously realized that it is a really freaking easy way to stay in touch. So we have been making like Ma Bell and doing the reach out and touch someone routine.

In addition one of my 1,287 siblings and I have both been uploading some family photos to look at. Since we live far apart it is an easy way to try and get a look at the rugrats and see if they really are growing as fast as it seems.

But as much as I enjoy doing the trip down memory lane I do hesitate to put too many pictures on line. I figure that whatever goes up is a lifetime gift to cyberspace. Since I am not independently wealthy and haven't ruled out running for office I am careful about what goes up. Not to mention that I am especially careful when it comes to the children. Sometimes I get a bit antsy about putting their mugs up.

Mostly this was a good excuse to try and sift through some old photos and figure out which ones needed to be scanned in so that they could be shared online.

Anyhoo, that is about all I have to say about that.

December 09, 2008

What if The Beatles Were Irish

December 08, 2008

Dear Santa Take a Memo

So you might be wondering what the Jewish kid is doing writing Santa a letter. I know that I would be, but since I am the one writing the letter I know what is coming. Ok, scratch that, I write from the hip, or is that shoot from the hip. Whatever. All I know is that I am the guy who can say and do anything. But as a side note just because I can doesn't mean that I will.

Alright, now that we got that out of the way let's try to dig into the meat of the matter, or in this case the meet of the matter. Santa and I have a funny relationship. A couple of years ago I was described by another blogger as being a suicidal Santa Claus. And it is true that I did wish death upon Santa not to mention that I once beat him up.

There are any number of reasons why I just don't like the guy. Perhaps it is because I associate Santa with guys like this one, not to mention that I still hate the holiday season. So here I am Santa, forced to deal with you again. A couple of years ago I had a conversation with the big kid about you. I had thought that it was kind of a one time deal. I explain that you are fake and that would be the end of it.

Apparently I was wrong. You see I got to have this conversation again last night. It seems that the dark haired beauty and her big brother got into a long discussion about who you are. She may be four, but she really doesn't miss a beat. She told her brother that not all Santas are fat and that means that they play tricks on kids. Her brother told her that all you Santas are fake and she got angry.

The little one put her hands on her hips and started lecturing me about grownups being mean to kids. She thinks that you are rude and inappropriate...Santa. You might think that it is strange that a four year-old would use that sort of terminology, but apparently she can be a good mimic. If nothing else she has learned the art of the female look of death accompanied by eyerolling, sighs and all sorts of hand waving.

I was ordered to make you stop being mean to kids. You aren't allowed to fool them any longer. She wants you to go away so that kids know that their grownups are giving them gifts. I tried to explain to her that it is ok for other kids to believe in Santa and that she doesn't have to worry about it. But apparently she has decided that among my many roles I am also the official protector of children. I was instructed to punch you in the nose, kick you in the butt and then push you out the door.

Santa, you are getting off easy because if she was familiar with eye gouging, fish hooking and the fine art of getting kicked in the crotch she would have insisted upon those as well. So dear Santa, I tried to get you off. I did my best to convince her to just let it go, but you know how women can be, especially when they are tired and hungry.

So my advice to you is to start running because if she sees you I am going to be ordered to go Muhammad Ali on your noggin.

Have a nice holiday season.

Best Regards,

Jack

Goodbye Polaroid

I don't know about you, but I still think that Polaroid cameras are kind of cool. It is kind of sad to see them go by the wayside. My grandparents and my parents had them. Up until recently my kids school still used them.

I had a field day watching the picture develop. It always seemed so magical to me.

CNN has the story:

...Because the Polaroid Corp. announced it would stop making instant film. And without it her project, "Day by Day Polaroid," would never be complete.

Sixty years after Polaroid introduced its first instant camera, the company's iconic film is disappearing from stores.

Although Polaroid says the film should be available into 2009, this is the final month of its last production year.

Eclipsed by digital photography, Polaroid's white-bordered prints -- and the anticipation they created as their ghostly images gradually came into view -- will soon be things of the past.

From David Hockney's famous Polaroid art compositions, to the line, "Shake it like a Polaroid picture" from OutKast's hit "Hey Ya!", Polaroid instant film has embedded itself in popular culture.

The public's reaction to Polaroid's announcement reflects that. Blogs lament the loss. Polaroid-fan groups have formed on Facebook. On Amazon.com, a four-pack of 10 exposures is selling for $64 -- nearly $1.60 per photo.

I Want More Than Just a Job

Little Jack and I spend hours talking about life. He is interested in virtually everything that goes on and since I am still his hero he wants to know everything about me. I really enjoy these conversations and am taking advantage of the opportunity to have them. Time will come where he'll stop wanting to spend all day with me.

Lately he has been very curious about what life is like in the working world. He wants to know why I spend so much time working on the computer and if I like it. For that matter everyone seems to want to know how I can spend so many hours at the computer. When adults ask me I usually just say it is how I pay the bills. It is the truth so it rolls off the tongue quite naturally.

But like so many others I am not always overly infatuated with the things that I have to do to pay the bills. There are days where it is a bit harder to get out of bed because I know what is waiting for me. There are days when I shake my head and wonder if I haven't undergone my own Metamorphosis. I wouldn't claim to be Gregor Samsa, I haven't become a giant bug. But there are moments where I wonder if I am anything more than a hamster on a big wheel.

So I make sure to tell Little Jack that one of the hardest things to do is find a way to pay the bills that involves something you love. It may be among the hardest, but it is also among the most important. If you can find something that is more than just a job you have something special. Truth is that I don't have too many friends who can say that. There are a few. I know several people who roll out of bed ready to attack the day because they love their work.

It is a pleasure seeing that. If you love what you do you are more likely to do it well consistently. That is not to say that you cannot hate your work and be good at your profession, you certainly can. But the reality is that if you love it or at least really enjoy it there is a better chance of doing things really well.

Since most of us are going to spend countless hours working to make a buck you might as well like what you are doing. We work too hard not to get some pleasure out of the grind.

December 07, 2008

Sunday Night Music

Spent part of the evening loading more of my CDs into iTunes. Here is a small sample of what I put in:

Chain of Fools- Aretha Franklin
Baby I Love You-Aretha Franklin
The House That Jack Built-Aretha Franklin
Windy-The Association
Presence of the Lord- Blind Faith
Back In The High Life Again-Steve Winwood
Ode To Billy Joe-Bobbie Gentry
My Whole World Ended- David Ruffin
I WISH IT WOULD RAIN- The Temptations
I'm Losing You- The Temptations
You're All I Need To Get By- Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

And now an assortment of other songs I heard as well:

Throw it Away- Toby Rand
Tougher Than The Rest- Bruce Springsteen
Long Walk Home- Bruce Springsteen
O Mio Babbino Caro- Maria Callas
America- Simon and Garfunkel
Tin Man- America
If-Bread

Pearl Harbor Day



Text of speech

"Mr. Vice President, and Mr. Speaker, and Members of the Senate and House of Representatives:

Yesterday, December 7, 1941 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that Nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American Island of Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday the Japanese Government also launched an attack against Malaya.
Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.
Last night Japanese forces attacked Guam.
Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.
Last night the Japanese attacked Wake Island. And this morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our Nation.

As Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.

But always will our whole Nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.

No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. I believe that I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our armed forces- with the unbounding determination of our people- we will gain the inevitable triumph- so help us God.

I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.
"

If you are unfamiliar with the attack on Pearl Harbor you can click on this link. I am thankful to my grandparent's generation for the sacrifices that they made to protect our freedom today. It is wise to remember the past and to recognize the lessons learned from those days.

If there is one lesson we continue to learn it is that we always need to remain vigilant. Every generation has its challenges to face. Consider that for so many of us Pearl Harbor and the horrors of WWII are just history lessons learned in school and or from friends/family/neighbors. It is easy to forget the importance of these moments and to downgrade them as to being less significant.

Perhaps I'll write more about this later, but for now I'll reiterate my thanks again. And though it is not directly related to Pearl Harbor I'll link again to Churchill and one of my favorite speeches. Here is a post in which I referred to it. But because I like it here is an excerpt and a link to the audio. Or try this one.

"we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender,"Speech before Commons(June 4, 1940)

Related links:

Pearl Harbor - One Final Gathering

I am In Love

Not that there was ever any doubt, but I am in love. Crazy, head over heels in love. She has long dark hair and dark eyes that can light up the sky or shoot laser beams at the object of her irritation. Sometimes I look at her and wonder how it is that she came into my life. Ok, I know exactly how she got here, but times I still am shocked.

There are moments where she infuriates me. She has this ability to prick the soft underbelly. When she sees my displeasure she tries to disarm me with coy little looks and a giggle that is contagious. She has been working hard for a number of years to train me. And just when I think that I have finally made it clear who the boss is she does something that totally throws me.

That is ok. I am here for the long haul. I can be like the terminator. Determined, relentless and unyielding. And that is ok, because for her I have to be. It is a requirement that I am happy to fulfill.

There is just one thing that really kills me. One day I am going to have to share her and I don't really know if I am ever going to be ready for that. I tell myself that it is going to be ok, but still I find myself considering whether I prefer to purchase a shotgun or a .45. They'll make a nice addition to the acres I own in the Mojave desert.

If you haven't figured it out I am talking about my daughter. The four-year-old girl who has spent her life studying her old man. She recently told me that she is going to marry a boy in her class at school.

Let me share the tale with you. As you read it you can imagine the expression on my face.

Dad: How was school today?
Daughter: I kissed Mark.

Dad: Oh. Why'd you kiss Mark?
Daughter: I wanted to. I kissed him on his shoulder and he wiped it off.

Dad: That's ok. Boys are like that. I'd just forget about it. We don't need to kiss anyone right now.
Daughter: Dad, I didn't like that he wiped it off. So I fixed it.

Dad: Uh, you did. How did you do that?
Daughter: I kissed him on the mouth. He couldn't wipe that off.

Dad: Hey now. We go to school to learn and have fun. Not to kiss people. Remember we need to keep our hands to ourselves.
Daughter: It is ok. We're in love.

Dad: What?
Daughter: Yep. We're going to put a baby in my tummy. We're in love.

Dad: Oh you are. How do you get a baby in there?
Daughter: I don't know. Maybe G-d will put it there.

Dad: Yes, that is right. G-d will put it there, but not until you are married and about 80 years-old.
Daughter: Silly daddy. You don't have to be 80. You can be 12 or 28 0r even a million years old.

I spent the majority of this conversation with a poker face, but if you could read my mind the unedited version would have looked something like this:

Jack's Mind: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! He wiped it off and she fixed it. She doesn't miss a beat. I am going to have my hands full, not to mention the poor bastard that she decides she wants. Ok, it is fine. She is four. It is innocent. She doesn't have a clue as to how to get pregnant. She is still innocent. Is it wrong to hire a mean 6 year-old to go rough up the four year-old boy and tell him to stay away from my daughter. Why am I worrying about this now. Because she is your freaking daughter jackass! Say, this might make great blog fodder. Ok, this is proof that you have spent too many years blogging. How can I work the Shmata Queen into this post? Ok, I'll say something about how I am more relaxed because she is not growing up in some snow filled dying city. And that is good because I know that she'll have an excuse to be outdoors. She is four, why can't I just enjoy it. Ok, I am making the decision now to just relax because she is only four and there really isn't a reason to be upset.

The 11 lines above represent about five seconds worth of thought. I didn't freak out, but I admit that I was momentarily thrown. I also have to admit that for a moment I couldn't help but picture my girl in a wedding dress. It was weird, but kind of nice.

A short time later the dark haired beauty and I were sitting on the couch reading a story together and I had to just smile. I love all of my children equally, but daughters are different from sons...I suppose that if I could I'd write and sing my own version of Nancy With The Laughing Face, but that is not my forte.

So I turned to the computer and decided to write this little post. One day when she is older I'll give her a copy of these things and she'll be able to see that her old man spent more than a couple of hours thinking about her.

****Related Links*****

Since some of you have decided to "share" my pain with others I decided that I'd take advantage of the opportunity to share some other stories about the kids and I.

For those who are concerned these are all Rated G more or less.

Blessing My Children
Father’s Love Their Daddies Too
A Sentimental Old Fool
She Broke My Penis
Dad, I Need A Phone
The World's Strongest Penis
Penis Talk Revisited
My Penis Died
More Questions about Body Parts
Great Moments In Parenting- Parts of our Body That Grow
The Princess Speaks
Daddy You Died
My Daughter's Favorite Book
A Big Girl Bed
Death Comes For Us All- When Do you Start Saying Goodbye
She Needs To Know About Boys
His Penis Is In The Wrong Place
Dancing With My Daughter
Are You Smarter Than A Rabbi? Part I
Are You Smarter Than A Rabbi? Part II

December 06, 2008

Haveil Havalim #194 is Live

It is the 194th edition of Haveil Havalim, the Jewish/Israeli Blogosphere blog carnival. Go check it out over here.

December 05, 2008

Is That A Camera In Your Eye

Talk about playing Eye Spy. Wired has the story of a man who intends to place a miniature camera in his eyesocket. Don't worry, he isn't going to remove a live eye to do this. Apparently he had one removed a number of years ago. You can even see a short video of the surgery he had to extract it.

Click here for the full story or just settle for the excerpt I am going to post.

"When you completely lose an eye it is a difficult thing to let go of," he says. "The eye has an emotional attachment. It is a window to your soul."

Spence wore an eye patch for a while, which he says looked cool. But once he started thinking about having a camera in his eye, Spence got in touch with Steve Mann, a professor at the University of Toronto. Mann is one of the experts in the world of wearable computing and cyborgs -- organisms that blend natural and artificial systems.

"There are a lot of challenges in this," says Mann, "from actually building a camera system that works, to sending and receiving images, to getting the correct shape of the camera."
Even in the age of miniaturization, getting a wireless video camera into a prosthetic eye isn't easy. The shape of the prosthetic is the biggest limitation: In Spence's case, it's 9-mm thick, 30-mm long and 28-mm high.

While that might seem like plenty of room in an age when digital cameras are squeezed into unimaginably slim and compact phones, it actually isn't. The average area available inside a prosthetic eye for an imaging sensor is only about 8 square mm, explains Phil Bowen, an ocularist who is working with Spence. Also, a digital camera has many more components than the visible lens and the sensor behind it, including the power supply and image-processing circuitry. Getting a completely self-contained camera module to fit into the tiny hollow of a prosthetic eye is a significant engineering challenge.

That's where Professors Huang and Rogers' research could come in handy. Three months ago, the duo published a paper that showed how a new sensor built out of a flexible mesh of wire-connected pixels could replace the traditional flat imaging chip as the light sensor for a camera. The mesh is made from many of the same materials as a standard digital-camera sensor, but it has the ability to conform to convoluted, irregular surfaces -- like the back of a synthetic eyeball.
"Our cameras might more naturally integrate with a prosthetic eye, due to their hemispherical shapes," says Rogers. "One might also argue that they can provide a more human-like perception of the world."

Then there's the question of how the prosthetic eyeball (the outer shell for the camera) will be made. The eyeball chassis has to close shut and be watertight.

Traditional prosthetic eyes are single pieces made with polymethyl-methacrylate (PMMA), a flexible polymer that is also used in dentures. To fit a camera in, Bowen redesigned the prosthetic eye into two pieces that could snap shut.

But with a camera inside there's something new to worry about. The modified prosthetic eye will be heavier than traditional ones and that could affect the eye socket, says Bowen. "The weight might stretch out the lower lid," he says, potentially disfiguring the face.

Friday's Music Mix

Your Song- Elton John
Your Life is Now- John Mellencamp
Calling All Angels-Train
Lightning Crashes- Live
Plowed- Sponge
Ball and Chain- Social Distortion
Story of My Life-Social Distortion
What I got - Sublime
Always On My Mind- Willie Nelson
Belshazzar - Johnny Cash
When the Levee Breaks - London Philharmonic Orchestra
GoldenEye- James Bond Theme- Tina Turner
Funkytown- Lipps
Mess Around- Ray Charles
It's My Life- Bon Jovi
Numb- Linkin Park

He Felt Like a Failure

"The problem with being told that everyone suffers from their own moments of doubt and self-worth is that it has all of the warmth of hug from Dick Cheney". Thus begins the first line of an essay called "He Felt Like a Failure" that I was assigned to write.

It is the sort of line that my high school English teacher Mrs. Spaner would have yelled at me for. She would have told me that it wasn't descriptive enough and that no one really knows if Cheney has a heart or not, he might actually be warm and cuddly. And then she would have stood over me and waited for me to offer a better line.

Of course Mrs. Spaner was about four foot nothing in height so standing over me worked as long as I was seated with my head bent over the desk. If I stood up I'd find myself looking down at a mop of curly hair and dark eyes staring back at me. I remember one time watching her and another teacher Miriam Mansilve engaged in a discussion that could only have been about who was taller. Mansilve was another teacher who was vertically challenged.

You're probably wondering why I even remember this so I'll tell you. I was heading towards my locker and noticed them standing in front of the teacher's lounge. Mansilve had removed a pair of brown suede shoes that had small heels on them and was trying to subtly stand next to Spaner. I don't know why they didn't do it inside or if they really thought that by not standing back to back they thought they were fooling anyone.

All I know is that when I got within ten feet I shouted "Mrs. Spaner is taller" and in return received a sheepish grin from Spaner and a glare from Mansilve. I should add that Mansilve once tripped and fell in front of me so I think that she harbored some latent anger over embarrassing herself that way. I probably should add that I was guilty of laughing about it.

None of that really explains why I am writing this essay or for who. So let me introduce myself, My name is David Hill. I am 45 years-old and in the middle of a crisis. I am taking a creative writing class at the local community college. Our teacher or professor (I don't really know what to call him) is named Jason Diane.

Some guy named Harry tried to make a crack about him being some sort of crazy hippie liberal that had taken his wife's name as his own. No one laughed and Jason just gave sort of a pained look. Later on in the class I asked Harry what he did for a living and he told me that he ran a sporting goods store. I told him that he should stick to selling footballs and not try his hand at comedy. He didn't appreciate the comment. I got the feeling that if we were still in high school he would have come looking for me after class. Or maybe not, I wasn't some little scrawny kid.

There were about 17 or students in the class. A little to the left of me was some guy named Noah. He was one of those guys that had to comment about everything anyone said because he knew more or had done more than everyone. I didn't ingratiate myself to him when I told him that I was going to call him Forrest Gump. But I really didn't care.

Like I said, I am 45 years-old and I am unfulfilled, unhappy, unsatisfied and on the verge becoming a bitter old man. Unfortunately, I am not one of those guys who has a middle age crisis that involves a cool sportscar and a beautiful young girlfriend. You know the one I am talking about. The women all bitch about how he is sleeping with a girl that is much too young for him and the guys all want to know if she is incredible in bed as she looks.

Nah, I am the guy that drives a car that is ten years old but in good condition. It is not a junker, but it is not exactly exciting either. It is a reliable car to match my reliable job and reliable life. Those aren't the three "R's" people read about or even the ones that I wish for.

I am not dumb enough to say that I wish I was a spy or that I was some sort of sport's star. I am not looking to go back in time either. Sure, I can find any number of examples of moments in my life that were a lot of fun. I can pick out good times and bad times. Want to hear a random rememberance? Ok, here is one for you.

My college girlfriend took me to meet her parents. We stayed at her folk's house in two separate rooms. On the first night we were there I waited until a little after ten and snuck into her bedroom and climbed into bed with her. We giggled about it being like high school and then let nature take its course.

I was lying on my back. My eyes were closed and I was enjoying the moment when all of a sudden the bedroom door opened. I froze in place and stared out at the doorway. There stood her mother with an expression that I can't even describe.

"Oh, I see that you're busy," was all she said and then she walked away.

I'd like to think that she didn't see anything, but let's face it. I was naked and she was... Well it may be years later but I don't think that you need any more details. A man should try and be a gentleman, shouldn't he.

See, that is a funny story. That was a good time in my life. Didn't marry the girlfriend, which is probably a good thing. There are some things that you don't want your mother-in-law to know about and that was one of them.

Ok, maybe I lied. Maybe I would like to go back in time or maybe I just want to figure out why I don't have funny stories like that to tell anymore. Maybe I want to figure out why my stories today seem to be limited to talking about how I can hardly pay my bills or the job bores me to tears. Maybe I am tired about waking up and feeling like a rat chasing the cheese.

Or maybe the problem is that the difference between me and the rat is that I feel like I don't have a shot in hell at actually getting a hold of that cheese. And so we come back to the start of an essay I am writing about myself called "He Felt Like a Failure."

December 04, 2008

Moshe's Nanny Speaks

CNN is running an article in which Moshe Holtzberg's nanny shares some of her story. She deserves many thanks. It is hard to read it without getting angry. Here is an excerpt:

The nanny says she came face to face with a gunman late Wednesday, the first night of the siege.

"I saw one man was shooting at me -- he shot at me."

She slammed a door and hid in a first-floor storage room and attempted to reach the rabbi and the others on the second floor.

Overnight, Samuel frantically tried to call for help as gunfire and grenade blasts shook the Chabad House.

Samuel says she emerged early the next afternoon, when she heard Moshe calling for her. She found the child crying as he stood between his parents, who she says appeared unconscious but still alive.

Based on the marks on Moshe's back, she believes he was struck so hard by a gunman that he fell unconscious at some point as well.

"First thing is that a baby is very important for me and this baby is something very precious to me and that's what made me just not think anything -- just pick up the baby and run," Samuel said.

"When I hear gunshot, it's not one or 20. It's like a hundred gunshots," she added. "Even I'm a mother of two children so I just pick up the baby and run. Does anyone think of dying at the moment when there's a small, precious baby?"

Were They Tortured In Mumbai

Solomonia has a story from the JTA that suggests that the Chabad victims may not have been tortured. One of the commenters links to a New York Times story and a blog post that contradict the JTA.

One could argue that the experience of gunmen storming in your home could be qualified as torture. As a parent it seems easy to imagine that the fear of what could happen to your child and spouse would be torture. It is not just the physical pain, but the mental anguish that accompanies it.

A couple of excerpts from the Times and the blog post.

Gruesome new evidence also emerged Thursday suggesting that some of the six people killed at the Jewish center in Mumbai had been treated savagely. Some of the bodies appeared to have strangulation marks and wounds on their bodies did not come from gunshots or grenades, the police said.
and

However, a report carried by The Times of India the following day, quoting an Israeli official who flew out to Mumbai, was more equivocal:
The forensic team arrived in Mumbai late Sunday aboard a chartered flight and were using DNA testing and dental records to identify bodies so mutilated they could “not be identified from their faces”.


“Many of the killed have been badly mutilated before or during the operation (to end the hostage crisis). The condition was bad before but it is worse now.
“It might have been because of torture, I cannot say, but when there is shooting and grenades being exploded by terrorists, people do get mutilated,” he said.
Daled Amos links to David Aaronovitch of The Times who says that it is unlikely that the terrorists had ever met a Jew.

Poverty is bad. You can see the reasons for warfare in Kashmir, for riots in Hyderabad and for Maoist uprisings in the deep rural areas of India. But why kill the rabbi? Why invade the small headquarters of a small outreach sect of a small religion, which far from being even a big symbol of anything, you would almost certainly need a detailed map and inside knowledge even to find?From what has been learnt from the one surviving attacker, the baby-faced and variously pre-named Mr Kasab, his group came largely from the rural southern Punjab in Pakistan. It is therefore unlikely that any of them had even encountered a Jew, or knew anyone else who had.
In the end many will develop their opinion/theories about why this took place. As for myself I can sum it up this way. I don't think that any one race is superior to another. People are people and the death of the innocent is tragic no matter who they are.

But we can make a distinction based upon ideologies because some are morally inferior to others. In this case the reality is that only one group was specifically sought out, attacked and murdered in cold blood.

The question in my mind is what are we going to do about this. Today it might be Jews/Israelis who are the focal point of the hatred, but in the end the murderous spotlight is going to fall upon all who oppose the hatred espoused by the terrorists and their supporters.

That Barbarian is Still Yawping

He has a habit of finding some unusual stories.

What Is The Most Challenging Aspect of Blogging?

*Sticky Post* New Posts below

Hello dear reader,

The question of the day is what do you find the most challenging part of blogging to be. Is it coming up with new posts, answering comments, finding new readers?

What do you think?

Waiting For The Repairman

I am in dire straits. Working on far too little sleep and in dire need of coffee. None in the house and I can't leave because I am waiting for the appliance repairman to show up. Supposed to be here between 8 and 12.

Have little energy so cannot type full sentences. Grumpy and irritable. Cranky and annoyed. Must get caffeine soon. Wonder if neighbor would think it strange if I knocked on door and tried to bum a cup of coffee off of them.

Sitting here drooling at the thought of wonderful, warm mug of life sustaining sustenance. Good time to send me to Gitmo to handle interrogations. No mug of life sustaining sustenance to be found. No patience.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Gladiator- Music Video

This is a montage of some of my favorite scenes from Gladiator, one of my favorite movies.

December 03, 2008

Hump Day Music

Here is a sample of what showed up on the old iTunes shuffle:

Who can It Be Now- Men At Work
Maybe I'm Amazed- Paul McCartney
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid- Offspring
Bittersweet Symphony- The Verve
I Can See Clearly Now- Johnny Nash
I Want You- Marvin Gaye
Mercy, Mercy Me- Marvin Gaye
I Love The Way You Love Me- John Michael Montgomery
Summertime- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
Theme from Silk Road- Kitaro
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word- Elton John
Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover- Sophie B. Hawkins
I Can't Quit You Baby-Led Zeppelin
I'm On Fire-Bruce Springsteen
Secret Garden- Bruce Springsteen
Hero of The Day- Metallica

A Leaky Faucet- Just One More Household Project

Just a few short hours ago my son complained that I am spending too much time working on projects around the house and not enough time playing with him. For a moment I was aggravated with him. It is not like I want to spend all of my free time puttering around. I'd love to have time to lounge around and play. Don't get me wrong, I do some of that, but not as much as I'd like to.

As the big guy stared up at me I smiled and told him to go get a flashlight and flat head screwdriver. I remember having similar conversations with my own father. I used to ask him to put the tools down and come play catch or chess, or whatever. And he did, just not as much as I wanted him to.

A few minutes later I was greeted with my flashlight and screwdriver. Before he could run off I grabbed the big kid and sat him down. I asked him to help me fix a few things around the house. He smiled and told me that he would use the screwdriver and I'd hold the flashlight. I smiled back and let him take control. As I sat there I watched him fumble around with things and found myself channeling my father.

"Be careful or you'll strip that. Watch out, you're going to scratch the hell out of that." And just as I glared at my father those many years ago, he glared at me. I smiled again and told him that I wasn't angry, just trying to help him learn.

The beauty of owning a home is that you never run out of projects. The real challenge is trying to figure out which projects can easily be handled by yourself and which should be farmed out. I know how to do a lot of things and what I don't know I can usually figure out. But the reality is that sometimes it doesn't make sense to do some of these things myself.

My method for determining what to take on and what not to is relatively simple. I look at the project and try to estimate how long I think it will take to complete. If it is big, I come up with an estimate and than increase it by a third. Things always come up and since it is not my full time job I can't always avoid the hurdles.

Alongside the time estimate is the question of how much will it cost. Here is an example. Dear Shmata Queen, ignore the numbers, I am using them strictly for the purpose of this example.

I can paint my house for about $1,000. Or I can hire a crew for $3,000. In theory it is easy to say that I should do it myself and save the $2k. However it ignores the time factor.

The crew can do the job in five days. That gives one full day of prep work. They'll come in and hydrowash the house, sand, etc. Then they'll the spend a chunk of time doing the stucco, the trim, doors, windows etc. They'll spend the last day walking around the house doing touch up work.

If I do the work myself it will take a minimum of three full days to do the prep work. That is assuming that I am able to work a full day and am not interrupted. Then I'll need another four days to do the painting and whatever time it takes me to do the touch up.

In my example I have the crew finishing the job at least two days faster than I can. In reality I expect that the difference will probably be even greater. They're professionals and do this all the time. I am decent with my hands, but I'll be slower at some of it. And like I said it is not my job, I am not so foolish as to think that I'll work unencumbered.

So let's revise my estimate to something like this:

Professionals: $3,000 cost for a five day project.

Jack: $1,000 cost for a ten day project.

I don't know about you, but my time is worth a lot. I am willing to pay two thirds more to avoid tying up my free time for two weeks. Not to mention that doing so also helps to free up time to play with the children. The day is going to come in which they don't come looking for me. So I want to take advantage of the moment.

P.S. For those who are curious I do have a leaky faucet. It is in the kitchen. I had to order a new cartridge from the manufacturer. The good news is that I have a lifetime warranty so it doesn't cost anything. The bad news is that I have to wait for it to be shipped to me.

In the interim that drip, drip, drip is irritating me. But as I said there are a ton of projects to be done. Later this week I am going to replace the handles on the shower tub and maybe install a new sink in the bathroom. I am kind of going back and forth about that as that means removing an old ugly vanity. I pull that, put in a new sink and a new vanity and the old tile in there is really going to look bad. That is the sort of thing that leads to a push to remodel the whole freaking bathroom.

And now my head hurts.

Prop 8 The Musical

Outgunned Mumbai police hampered by WWI Weapons

If you think about it the fact that so few men were able to hold a city hostage for so long is ridiculous. This is just unacceptable:

Indian police who bore the brunt of last week’s attacks on Mumbai had defective bulletproof vests, First World War-era firearms and insufficient weapons training, police sources have told The Times.
Many wore plastic helmets and body protectors designed for sticks and stones, rather than bullets, as they fought highly trained militants armed with AK47 rifles, pistols, grenades and explosives.

The contrast between them was vividly illustrated yesterday by CCTV footage of two militants attacking Chhatrapati Shivaji terminus, Mumbai’s main railway station, last Wednesday.

It shows the gunmen spraying automatic fire while two constables cower behind pillars, one armed with a .303 rifle similar to the Lee-Enfield weapons used by British troops in the First World War.

Similar scenes were played out at other targets in the first seven hours of the attacks, in which 16 policemen died, including three of India’s top officers.

“That’s 16 too many,” Maxwell Pereira, a former joint commissioner of Delhi police, said. “These casualties could have been prevented if they’d been properly equipped.” The abysmal state of police equipment helps to explain how ten gunmen managed to paralyse a metropolis of 18 million people for more than 60 hours.

It also illustrates how ill-prepared India’s 2.2 million-strong police force is to tackle another such attack.

“We’d react exactly the same way tomorrow,” Ajay Sahni, of the Institute for Conflict Management, said.

He described India as one of the “least policed” places in the world, with 126 officers per 100,000 people, compared with 225-550 per 100,000 in most Western countries."

I suppose that it helps to explain somewhat why a photographer excoriated the police and said that he wished that he had a gun. Not that it excuses cowardly behavior. If you are going to work in law enforcement you have to be prepared to deal with dangerous situations.

"But what angered Mr D'Souza almost as much were the masses of armed police hiding in the area who simply refused to shoot back. "There were armed policemen hiding all around the station but none of them did anything," he said. "At one point, I ran up to them and told them to use their weapons. I said, 'Shoot them, they're sitting ducks!' but they just didn't shoot back."
Thankfully heroes appeared on the scene. The story that I know best is of the nanny who rescued Moshe Holtzberg. She is yet another example of how ordinary people can rise to the occasion.

As the siege at the Chabad House began, Samuel heard the commotion, locked the doors and hid in a room.

"She heard Mrs. Holtzberg -- Rivka -- screaming, 'Sandra, Sandra, help, Sandra,' " said Robert Katz, executive vice president of the Israeli organization Migdal Ohr.

The gunmen reportedly went door-to-door, searching for targets. Samuel unlocked her door and dared the gunmen to stop her, according to Katz.

She then ran upstairs to find the Holtzbergs shot dead, lying on the ground with their son crying over them.

"She literally picked him up and made a dash for the exits, almost daring the terrorists to shoot a woman carrying a baby," Katz said.
If you read the article you'll notice that recovering the bodies of Moshe's parents was hampered because the terrorists had booby-trapped them.

"The return of the bodies was delayed until authorities removed hand grenades from the bodies, left there by the attackers, Katz said."

There will be a response to their murder. I hope that it is swift and severe. Ironically it is reported that Rabbi Holtzberg was reading an anti-terrorist handbook.

Mumbai Terrorists Used Drugs

None of this surprises me. Neither do the asinine remarks that people have made that there has to be a reason that people would be so angry. I have a simple message to those who try and excuse this sort of behavior.

If you think that murder and wanton destruction is justified than you are a jackass. You deserve my size 12 boot in your ass. How can you begin to try and justify this behavior. Life may not always be black and white, but some things are. Simple concept, murder is wrong.

The captured terrorist in the Mumbai (formerly Bombay) attacks, Azam Amir Qasab, has told interrogators that his father forced him to join Lashkar-e-Taibat (LeT) so that the family could earn more money.

Qusab's father Amir, a carpenter in the Pakistani town of Faridkot, made initial contact with the leading LeT commander Zakiur Rehman who promised the family a £2,000 payment, according to the Daily News and Analysis newspaper.

Rehman was known to Qusab as Chacha, or uncle.

The 21 year old who was captured after a mob set on him after he took part in a killing spree at Mumbai's main train station on Wednesday had been involved in minor crimes before his recruitment.

After teaming up with Rehman, he was recruited for the Mumbai mission. Rehman was reported to have personally delivered the main orders for the 10-man group.

"Around 45 days before the terror strike Chacha called the ten and briefed them about the mission," an official told the newspaper.

Meanwhile, it has been revealed that the Mumbai terrorists who battled Indian commandos for 60-hours last week relied on cocaine and other stimulants to stay awake for the duration of the fight.

Officials said drug paraphernalia, including syringes, was recovered from the scene of the attacks, which killed almost 200 people.

The heavily built men, who had undergone training at a special marine camp established by the Lashkar-e-Taibat (LeT) terrorist group in Pakistan, had also used steroids to build a tougher physique."

December 02, 2008

Pictures from Mumbai- It Lingers-

Click here and here.

December 01, 2008

Movies- Previews and people

I think that I was around 11 years-old or so when my mother first allowed me to go to the movies without adult supervision. Or maybe I was older, can't really remember. I do remember that my mom wouldn't let me go see King Kong with a neighborhood friend because she thought that it would be too violent. That was in '76. I was still a few years off of turning 11.

Anyway, one of my favorite parts of the movies used to be the previews. The studios take advantage of the captive audience to try and sell you on shelling out a few more bucks to see another one of their movies. Oops, did I say a few bucks, I certainly didn't mean that. But that is not really the point of this post.

Somewhere along the way the theaters screwed the whole preview or movie trailer thing up. Because it used to be that you'd go see a movie and you knew that you'd get one or two trailers before your film. These days I have been to movies where they show at least three trailers, plus the THX ad, plus the turn off your cellphone ad and the reminder to throw your trash away ad.

Now that probably looks like a runon sentence and maybe it is, but it captures the mood for me. Because it used to be that if a movie was called for 12:30 you knew that it was going to start by 12:45. Now if you are lucky that 12:30 showing starts at 1:15. It has gotten to be a little bit much.

Speaking of the movies the crowds have become a problem for me. Maybe it is because I am a natural curmudgeon, but I get tired of dealing with foolishness. Went to see The Dark Knight last summer and got to watch it with a bunch of babies and toddlers. Sorry, if you can't find a babysitter you shouldn't be at the movies. And that doesn't cover the young children who conned their parents into taking them.

Leave those kids at home. If they must watch movies give them some Disney flick like Mulan to watch ten times in a row.

A while back I forgot to turn off my phone. Sure enough the damn thing rang. It was right in the middle of an action scene. I grabbed the phone and whispered "Give him another dose of Morphine and schedule a consultation with Dr. Kildare." And then I made sure to hang up.

Later on one of the patrons asked me what had happened. I told him that one of my patients was really sick and that his nurse had consulted with me. He told me that I must really be a good doctor and asked me where I practiced. I told him that he could find me at Rampart, part of the Squad 51 team.

Had he asked me my name I would have told him that I was Marcus Welby, or maybe just gone with Quincy. Who knows.

Monday Night Roundup

If you haven't been around here is what has been going on around here:

Let's Remake The Love Boat
Jericho
Guests and The Medicine Cabinet One Way People Are Passing The Time
Not How I like to Begin My Week
I Hate The Holiday Season Continued
Mumbai- Notes/Links About Terror
Thanksgiving In The Snow
#193 is Live
Because I Need To Smile About Something
Thanksgiving in Mumbai
Most Popular Posts of Q3
Jack & The "Mortgage Broker"
Some of My Favorite Posts

Let's Remake The Love Boat

In a time when Hollywood seems unable or unwilling to develop and execute new ideas for movies I'd like to take a crack at remaking The Love Boat.

I suppose that you can say that I got the idea from this story:

"(CNN) -- A 30,000-ton luxury cruise ship outran pirates off the coast of Yemen this weekend, the ship's owner said Monday.The Nautica was in an area patrolled by international anti-piracy task forces when two small skiffs appeared to try to intercept it, Oceania spokesman Tim Rubacky said.

The ship took evasive maneuvers and accelerated to its full speed of 23 knots or 27 mph. One of the smaller craft closed to within 300 yards and fired eight rifle shots at the cruise ship, he said, but the ship was able to pull away.


It was the first report of a pirate attack on a passenger ship of its size this year, said Cyrus Mody of the International Maritime Bureau, which runs a piracy reporting center.


"There have been a couple of passenger yachts hijacked, but they were much smaller," he said. It is "quite common" for pirates to target ships the size of the Nautica and even larger, he said, but they tend to be cargo ships, not passenger vessels."

In my Love Boat they'd have a series of adventures as they sailed through the horrible pirate blockade. There'd be lots of different characters:

A robot who'd say cool stuff like "Danger Shmata Queen"

A captain who'd be modeled sort of along the James T. Kirk character.

A goofy bartender who'd be a cross between Isaac and Moe.

And of course I'd make my own guest appearance as the quiet passenger who just happens to be an expert in whatever sort of expertise the plot of that episode required. Kind of a cross between Macguyver and the Professor.

It is rough, but there is potential. What do you think.

Jericho

I met Jericho in a time and place that no longer exist. The people we were are long since gone. Now they drift through time and space in a place that I call memory or perhaps it is just my imagination. If you ask Jericho she'd probably push for imagination. She'd want to say that what I remember has been obscured by my own desire for the future. She'd tell you that it was never as good as I remember it.

But if you took her aside and caught her in one of those moments she'd admit that it was exactly the way I remember. She'd admit that as the queen of low expectations it is easier to think of things that way. She'd tell you that to really remember is too painful, too tragic. So old Jericho set up those walls, long and tall, deep and wide.

She lies in wait behind those walls waiting for the future to come. She lies behind those walls and watches the days pass in front of her. There are some really happy times, some good moments that make her think that she can do this for a while. Good things come and she smiles and thinks that life might not be exactly what she wants it to be, but for now this will work.

And me, well I stand outside and stare at the wall. I stand and look and wonder how they grew to be so tall. Too stubborn or too dumb to give up I continue my assault upon them. Every day I look for a way to breach them. Every day I search for a nook or cranny that I can use to start weakening more sections.

Sometimes I see Jericho looking out at me. Sometimes I see her staring at me, a wistful smile on her face. Sometimes I catch her shaking her head. She wonders if I am going to continue to live in denial about the circumstances that placed us here. But I think that she knows that I am not the sort to give up. I...keep....moving...forward....

I have a mental diary of the tactics I have used to try and breach Jericho's walls. There was a frontal assault that was used to try and gauge the strength of the defenses. Some progress was made by eventually the defense asserted itself and we withdrew. There were flanking movements that had minor success, but still didn't amount to much. An attempt to climb over failed as did the tunnel beneath.

In between the attempts I have continued to pepper Jericho with reminders of what could be and paintings of the dream. It has been slow going, but I am ultimately a patient man. Those walls will come down, of that I am certain. What I had to remind myself was that Jericho erected those walls for a reason. I may disagree with the reason, but the smart move is to bide my time.

A well planned siege can work. There is no need to plan my own D-Day.

So I remind myself that the current situation is just a moment in time. A moment in time that can become nothing more than a memory or it can become reality. With this in mind I have made a point of mixing up my tactics. Sometimes I withdraw all of my forces and take some R&R. Inevitably Jericho's natural curiosity drives her out of the tower and she engages in her own reconnaisance. She always finds me.

Life may be a series of random acts but some things seem to be more than coincidence. It is a discussion that Jericho and I have had more than once. One day I suppose I'll have the chance to look back upon this life and determine whether I was right or wrong about that belief.

In the meantime you can find me at my post watching and waiting. One day, one way or another those walls are going to come tumbling down.

Guests and The Medicine Cabinet

At Thanksgiving I walked into the bathroom and discovered that the person before me had left the medicine cabinet partially open. It made me laugh. People always seem to want to know what lies behind the cabinet door.

I am always tempted to intentionally stock my own cabinet with all sorts of crazy items, you know like eye of newt, random pieces of unidentified flesh like items, scalpels. And of course a collection of prescriptions that suggest severe mental issues.

The idea is to see if I can cause the snoops to let out a big scream. That ought to teach them to go digging around. ;)

One Way People Are Passing The Time

Is anyone really surprised by this story from the BBC:

A YouGov survey of 2,000 adults found sex was the most popular free activity, ahead of window shopping and gossiping.

The Scots were most amorous with 43% choosing sex over other pastimes, compared with 35% in South England.

Aids charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, which published the survey, also welcomed recent figures showing an increase in condom sales.

Around one in 10 respondents to the survey, carried in November, said their favourite free activity was window shopping and 6% chose going to a museum as the cheapest way to pass the time.

But the sexes differed on their priorities, with women preferring to gossip with friends while men had sex firmly at the top of their list.

Not How I like to Begin My Week

The preferred method of waking up Monday morning is not to find out that grandma and one sister have been admitted (for different things) to the hospital.

Note to family and friends, I'd like to have a quiet week.

Hah! Like that is going to happen.

I Hate The Holiday Season Continued

I Hate The Holiday Season

The Salvation Army Bell Ringer Doesn't Like Me

I Wished Death Upon Santa

I Killed The Easter Bunny

Happy Holidays is An Appropriate Greeting