I used to do these long introspective posts much more frequently. Back in the good old days when the blog was safe. A refuge that felt like a secret hideaway. Br'er Rabbit's laughing place. In those days the blog was so very bright and shiny. It felt so much more comfortable to tear down the walls and just let the river flow.
That changed. It changed. It changed. It changed. I can't place my finger on one exact reason. There is nothing in here that I cannot discuss with anyone. But that doesn't mean that I want to.
Last week I had the privilege of attending the Ariel Avrech Memorial Lecture 2007. It gave me an opportunity to meet a number of bloggers. It was a new experience for me as I have intentionally maintained my distance but I am quite glad that I went. It was nice speaking with them and I was pleased to see that we had more to talk about than just blogging.
As Judith of Kesher Talk mentioned blogging can provide unexpected intimacy with others. If you consider your relationships usually you work up to feeling comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts with others. Bloggers just skip this and let loose.
I am not surprised by any of this. In spite of the picture I painted I wasn't unaware that others were reading my thoughts. But for whatever reason it just didn't bother me. Lately that is not the case. I find myself being far more reserved than I used to be.
Can't say if this will continue or go away. We'll just have to see what happens. For now I seem to have lost my voice.
7 comments:
I feel similarly since making myself less anonymous and since my parents found my blog. I keep pondering what to do with it - if I'm done (or at least on my way out) but I still don't know.
Dear Jack,
I am sorry I missed you. I was there too There's always next time.
Alan
I have found the same thing. I have been contemplating a second, much more anonymous blog.
Well you know my thoughts on this (which of course I cannot share in your comments!)
I do hope you haven't "lost your voice" permanently because it sure does make me laugh and smile :)
The need for anonymity does cramp my style. Thus far, I've posted only one picture of myself, and I was very careful to keep it invisible on my monitor at the office. I also deleted the "embedded" versions of the dances that I choreographed (back before my foot surgery) and replaced them with linked versions, instead. Now that I've "discovered" photography, I have a really nice photo that I'd love to upload to my blog, but I don't dare--it would probably blow my cover, at least in certain circles. Bummer. :(
I find it curious that many use anonymity to act in ways they never would if that luxury wasn't afforded them via the internet.
Given my druthers, I'd rather keep my somewhat non-anonymous status all over again in spite of threats and hatemail.
Shoshana,
It is a hard question to answer.
Alan,
I am sorry that I missed you too.
Ellie,
I have a few others, but there is only so much time in the day.
Orie,
Thanks.
Shira,
It is a tough call to make.
Mark,
I hear you.
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