(part one is here)
I learned a lot from number three. The most important lesson was to learn how to duck, tuck and roll. Her idea of marriage counseling was to fling the first object she could find at my head. The devil better pray that number three goes somewhere else. One wrong move and she'll use that pitchfork to explore areas of his anatomy it wasn't made for.
Don't get me wrong, number three had her good points. She lit my fire like no one else. When we were kids we used to fantasize about finding a woman like her. Sometimes the boys and I would sit around telling stories. You could always guarantee that one of us would speak about that girl. She was the one who did things that would get you arrested in 37 of the 50 states. Funny thing about these stories was that girl never seemed to live anywhere close to our neighborhood.
If you asked how they met it was almost always on vacation. I can remember thinking that if I couldn't marry that girl at least I could be her brother. The way I figured it she came from a rich family. Who else could afford to be on vacation that often.
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." — Groucho Marx
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