Suha Arafat Wants To Share Her Wealth With Me

Folks I received another one of those friendly notes in which the author explains that in exchange for my help I can receive a sizable sum of money. If you have been following the blog at all you know that upon occasion I have engaged these scam artists in conversation.

The latest is so ridiculous I can't begin to explain it. Anyway, I received the note below yesterday. I haven't edited it in any way. What you see is exactly what I saw.
This item from National Association of the Deaf has been forwarded to you by Mrs Suha Arafat Yasser.

Dear Friend, I am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader who died in Paris. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism,confusion,humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine Government. In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make m e poor for life. As you know, the Moslem community has no regards for woman, hence my desire for a foreign assistance.You can visit the BBC news broadcast below for better unde rstanding of what I am talking about. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3479937.stm http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3995769.stm I have deposited the sum of 18 million dollars with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and any Investment opportunity.This arrangement is known to you and my personal Attorney.He might be dealing with you directly for security reasons as the case may be.My Attorney lives in London (UK) because i want him to be far away from my country Palestinian for the fear of my Governemnt. In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $18 mi llion that will be kept in your position for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending when my Daughter, Zahwa, will come off age and take full responsibility of her Family Estate/inheritance.If you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children. In ca se you don't accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.You are to contact me on this email address( mrssuha@pc.nu ) and send me your full names andyour contact telephone numbers,cell number for my attorney to contact you for us to proceed immediately.Please expedite action is needed. Yours sincerely Mrs Suha Arafat

Source:

http://www.nad.org/site/pp.aspx?c=foINKQMBF&b=1359203
Here was my response:
Dear Madam Suha,

I was so very pleased to receive your letter from the National Association of the Deaf. I am fluent in multiple signs including flipping the bird so this note spoke loudly to me.

My heart breaks when I think of your situation. It is with great joy that I undertake this event. I might even have to set sail on my ship the Altalena to help you. I have my own crew, the Stern Gang so it would be easy enough to engage their support.

I wonder if I might set my attorney in motion. The honorable Sharon Bibi of the Bank of Levi Eshkol has represented me for years. It seems to me that it might make sense to contact him. He is wise, discrete and an able man who can take care of facilitating a proper place for the funds.

Since I am a man of means and wit I would ask that you give me 27.3%. In addition as I am a spiritual man I will require that you also donate funds to several charities, such as the JNF.

What can we do to push this along?

Kind Regards,

Jack Yerushalmi
In response I received two more notes.

Dear Jack Yerushalmi,

Thanks for your response. I have given your email address to my lawyer Mr Christopher Hall who is base in the UK London to contact you for the full detail.
Thanks

Mrs Arafat
Here is the subject line from the next note:

Information from Mr Christopher Hall the lawyer to Mrs Suha Arafat From Palestinian
Attention Jack Yerushalmi,
You sound real and ready to listen to the cry for help
of Mrs Arafat and i must say i am very impress and i
will always prefer to work with you. The private
organisation in costodian of this fund is in Holland
Nertherland,it will be of a great favour towards the
completion of this transaction if you will be dealing
with them as the beneficiary bearing in mind the
sharing ratio of 30 percent of the total fund of 18
million United states dollars.
You will be dealing with the diplomats of this
organisation who are special attachees to the
organization.
I will suggest that you speak with me on this no and
let us get knowing and trusting each other, telephone
no as follows+447024066333.
Thanks
Mr Christopher Hall
Here is my response to "Christopher Hall."
Dear Mr. Hall,

The Netherlands are among my favorite. You are a dear klotzok. If you would be so kind to place your finger in a dike I am sure that we can make this work.

As I mentioned in my initial note in order to work together I need Arafat to agree to a few things.

1) A donation to the Hadassah Hospital and a note apologizing for all terror activities.

2) Agreement that should either party default they will be forced to spend time in cleveland.

3) And last two more charities must be included. A small donation to the Church of the Tree Frog and the Church of Charles Cheese.

Can you agree to these terms?

Regards,

Jack
Let the games begin.

15 comments:

Deadman said...

Narishkeit is right!

LMAO!

Stacey said...

I can't stop giggling over this.

PS: Cleveland rocks!

Anonymous said...

Hysterical. Unfortunately your e-mail address has now been passed on to a thousand other scam-spam-writers and you will receive about a hundred an hour.

benning said...

"2) Agreement that should either party default they will be forced to spend time in cleveland."

Now, that's just mean! Mean!

Otherwise, well, I always laugh when I see this stuff.

Thanks!

The Babka Nosher said...

cIf you really wanted to punish them, you should make the default location Houston :)

have popcorn will lurk said...

That's a riot, but really, you've crossed the line in dissing Cleveland - how about Detroit?

Irina Tsukerman said...

Hilarious! I can't wait to see what happens next!

Anonymous said...

Whee!! Fun fun!!

Jack Steiner said...

Mark,

It is the story of my life.

Stacey,

Giggle away.

Robert,

I say 'Have at it and let them fly' I shall not despair.

Benning,

I suppose that I have a bit of a mean streak. Not one of my finer traits, but picking on cleveland is far too easy.

Babka,

Ok, they can go live in Bel Air and get speeding tickets.

Chana,

I'd make fun of detroit but they might riot and burn down the city.

Irina,

I'll keep you posted.

TNS,

Yep.

Scraps said...

OMG! That's so funny, I had to hold my breath to keep from laughin out loud at work. It reminds me of a conversation with a telemarketer that I once saw. :)

(oh yeah, and if you think Cleveland is bad, you should try Montana!)

Mottel said...

Klotzok . . . Spreekt U Nederlands?
Keep us up on what happens (if anything)

Jack Steiner said...

Scraps,

Glad to be of service.

Mottel,

Nope, just English.

Deadman said...

I think you missed the part where you have to marry Suha and make an American citizen out of her...

Jack Steiner said...

Mark,

I just got a bad case of the willies.

Anonymous said...

bait safe, friend.

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Dear SQ

 Figure this as a placeholder for a letter to SQ.