Last night I related a short story about a man who wants to make me rich. The saga continues. Allow me to bring you along for a short ride. This morning I received the following:
Dear Jack ShackMy response to Shola is here
Thank you for your mail and willingness to work with
me.I am glad to have you as my partner and I believe
that if you will give me your unalloyed cooperation,
we will achieve our objective in this project.
As soon as the fund is transfered, I will come over to
your country for sharing and disbursement after which
my family will come along with me hence I will
invest part of my share in your country.
Below is draft of text of application which you should
fill and fax to the bank or Miss Rose Obi the personal
assistance to Director Finacial Bank Lome
(FB),Alh.Sani A.Umar though Email or fax
number.(E-mail:email@example.com.Please Send it
today so that the bank will acknowledge the receipt
and start working on the verification and release.
It is adviceable you send the application letter via
the direct email of the directors of operations as
stated in the application letter to avert
telecommunication network problem rampant here.
The transaction will last about 10 working days from
the date of application submitted with the bank so
prepare yourself very well to receive the funds in
Avoid discussing this transaction so that it does not
get to the ears of the wrong people. Being my only
partner, you need my advise to enable us achieve our
heart desire in this project, therefore,stick to my
You can call me if there is anything you don't
understand,Also be informed that this transaction is
legal . I gave you my direct telephone
My Best Regard
ATTN:ALHAJI SANI A.UMAR.
THE DIRECTOR FINANCIAL BANK.
LOME.REPUBLIC OF TOGO.
There is a long "application" that was included but in the interest of space I have deleted it.
Dear Mr. Rhodes,I received one more reply from Shola
I received your latest note with a song in
my heart and a bounce in my step. Surely and truly Spring is arriving.
In order to process your request in the most expeditious and notorious
fashion possible I am required to ask that you submit some information
to me. These are things that I ask of all people I do business with and
are considered common place so I am sure that it will be easy for you.
First, my participation involves requires that you send me a picture of
yourself holding a copy of the local newspaper. Please be certain to
make sure that I can see the date so that I know that it is a recent
It is considered customary to give thanks to our
religious authority. I am a follower and true believer of the Church of
The TreeFrog and hold the position of Bishop of BullFrog. Will you be
able to provide a small token of gratitude to be given to the Mighty
This would greatly ease my mind and provide much satisfaction and smiling
to be shared in our circular venture.
Also, it is routine to answer some basic information and riddles. This
is done to build the bond of business and friendship. Here is what I
need answers to:
How much wood, could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck, could chuck wood?
If you had a hammer would you hammer in the morning? Would you hammer out
danger? Would you hammer out warning?
What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
How many children do you have?
How many kilos of food do you consume each day?
If a store is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week why are there
locks on the door?
Could a swallow carry a cocoanut?
Who is greater, Magic Johnson or Larry Bird?
I look forward to receiving your reply and will soon begin work
on the documents you have requested.
Mr. Jack Shack
Dear Jack,Funny, do you really think that the FBI would start asking questions. Here is my last response to him. Wonder if he will reply.
Thanks for your response I called but someone pick up the phone and start asking questions, Also drop the phnoe no me and I called back again but he never pick up the phone, Please fill the Application and forward it the bank as I stated ,You has my number with you can call me as well.
I wait your response
I am working on this as speak. I will have a new telephone number to use. If you could please answer the questions I asked in my last note it would be much appreciated and help make this go faster.
You are HILARIOUS. That is seriously the funiest thing I have read in a long time - did you really do this?
That was so good you even had me going there for a while! BTW- definitely Larry Bird...
Yep, this is true.
As I said to EK, this is all real. I am waiting to see if Shola responds. If he does I'll be certain to cover it here.
Jack: He seems slightly above average. He must have attended the The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference
I know I keep using seinfeld remarks, but your story reminds me of the time Jerry answered a call from a telemarketer and said
"This isn't a good time.
Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir?
Jerry: I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
Telemarketer: Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
Telemarketer: Umm, no.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.
[hangs up phone]
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