( I wrote this last June, but felt like recycling it)
One of the things that I love about the blogosphere is that I am a part of community.
Community, not one, but many.
I rise up into the ether and find myself a part of a community of bloggers, of those who share my faith, interests, goals, objectives and so much more.
It is a place that I find fascinating. I frequently speak about how I love the interaction and sometimes the voeyeuristic component of this. I peak into lives and see people who I think are just like and I watch others who are so very different.
I learn about them and myself and I really believe that I am growing, at least that is the hope. I know for certain that this has been a positive experience for me if for no other reason than the outlet it provides as well as the chance to work on my writing. I need the practice.
And I know that the outlet provides me with a certain freedom to say things I might not say and to admit things that I might not otherwise. So here is my confession of the moment.
I check my stats way too frequently. I look at Technorati to see if people have decided that I am a necessary part of their daily diet, have they blogrolled me or have they unblogrolled me. I am interested, but in truth I am more touched when someone writes a post because of something they said, wrote, saw or experienced here.
I am sometimes frustrated when there are no comments, especially on posts where I really feel like I have hit a homerun.
So the reality and the truth is that there is some ego involved here, a bit of a come love me component, but I accept that. Is it wrong to admit this, should I be ashamed that I would like for people to look to my blog for this and that.
I don't think so. I feel a little foolish admitting it, but as I said, this is the place where I let those things out, where the dark corners get to see a little light.
I am still a dreamer, a person who lives in the stars. I am not just a father, not just a mealticket or provider.
I am still that boy who dreams of playing a professional sport, who wanted to be part of some amazing story like a Harry Potter or LOTR book.
Blogging really has done a lot for me, I am truly thankful. And if the time comes when I decide I need to hangup my spikes I likely will not announce it. I will probably avoid making a big deal of it because I don't want a bunch of people begging me to stay and if they do not I will be pissed off and mildly hurt.
Silly ego.
Better to walk away and leave a little mystery to where I have gone and if I will return.
11 comments:
I thought we were following each other when I saw you post a comment right before/after me on Jeru Guru and Jameel this morning, but then you go and blog exactly what I was thinking about in the shower. You got cameras on me?!
Blogging is a bit of an addiciton, I need to feed it, and I have no need to break the habit.
I also blogged about blogging and leaving blogging last night. Spooky.
I like the mystery idea of leaving, but also the closure of a final post. Not sure which way I would go on that...
My final post (if it ever happens) would probably be called "Outting Jameel - The Muqata Shutdown" with a real picture of me, my name and home address. And a big red target sign symbol on top of my picture.
"Are you happy now?"
fin.
I have never once used technorati, I don't care who has me linked and I thought those JIB awards were completely ridiculous.
I have thought about hanging it up a few times but have made some good friends from blogging and would miss them.
I blog for me most of the time now... there was a time when I took everything to heart, like not getting comments... I actually quit one time, but decided I couldn't live without being creative. So, being a part of the blogging community makes me feel connected to people all over the world- I love that!
IYW,
How'd you find out about the cameras.
GT,
Actually politics are covered here, just not as frequently as on other places.
DJ,
Don't worry about trying to keep up. :)
MCA,
Great minds. ;)
Jameel,
I like that.
Shmata Queen,
We know better.
RJC,
That is very cool.
The most dishonest blogger you're ever going to find is the one who claims he or she doesn't care in the least how many visitors he (or she) gets or how many people link to him or her. Because, come on, if a person *REALLY* didn't care about any of that stuff they would have never started a blog in the first place and would have instead just posted their stuff to Microsoft Word or a pen and paper journal.
Obviously, some people are more obsessive about this than others - I always crack up when I see a particular blogger showing up in 100 different comment sections a day in hope of reciprocal feedback or bloggers who post things as mundane as their grocery list just to make sure they have fresh material for their daily visitors.
But I do have to confess my ego took a bit of bruising when I came back from a 3-month blogging break at the beginning of the year only to find my daily hit count has gone down by about half.
Gooch - Not so. When I started blogging, I did it just as a creative outlet and a way to keep friends in far away places up to date on what is happening in my life. When I started getting comments from people I didn't know is when I started caring about increasing readership and comments. But at this point? Back to not caring about that. I am happy with the regular readers I have, and have zero interests in links or increasing hit counts. As soon as the blogging becomes something I no longer enjoy is when I will stop.
Been wondering for a while!
Somewhere in between. I don't care if anyone reads my stuff or not; but I'd love to hear their thoughts more often, especially on certain posts. I do like to know how many people are reading, and who's linking - I think it's a good measure of how much people are interested in what I have to say. There's a difference in being interested that people are reading and caring whether they are. What I like about Technorati is knowing who's linking to what I've said - and what they have to say about it. Often, that helps lead to a better discussion, which is one of the best parts of blogging to me.
Oh, Jack - since you won't tell us in advance, let me tell you now: You leave, and the Snowball squad is really going to hunt you down. Understand!? (Though we may need to switch weapons in LA.)
Ezzie,
The snowball squad will melt under the sweet blue skies of LA.
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