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You Just Aren't that Funny

That was the subject line of an email to me. It said, "You Just Aren't that Funny." This was followed by a longwinded explanation of what comedy should be and why I didn't fit the mold.

I agree with the person that emailed me. I am just not that funny, the problem is that we never identify what it means to be "that funny." If I knew what it was then maybe I could grow up to be "that funny."

I included that in my response to them and in return they told me that people who are "that funny" don't have to ask. So I told them that I wasn't asking, I was demanding that I learn how to be "that funny." I mean, why not teach me how to be "that funny." I expressed how happy I was to have received their correspondence because if I was "that funny" I would never have met them and my life would be ever so dull.

Apparently this response did not please them and they asked me not to be upset that I wasn't "that funny" and that if I just accepted it they would enjoy my blog much more. So I agreed, I won't be upset that I am not "that funny." But I insisted that as part of the cost of this agreement that they become my fourth wife.

This didn't go over that well and they expressed that they had no desire to be number four. I told her that it was good to be ambitious but she really wasn't "that smart" or "that cute" so she should take the offer.

Apparently this upset her and she told me in more colorful terms that I am still not "that funny" and that I am probably not going to be able to stay married for very long. I told her that was why I was asking her to be my fourth wife at which point she recanted and said that I really am "that funny."

Ain't life grand.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I think there is a test for that. I am pretty sure it involves peeing in a cup though.
MC Aryeh said…
I think if you had offered her third wife, you would have gotten her to admit you were "that funny" much sooner...I think she was holding out for that...
AS said…
Now I too can aspire to be "that funny" but since it's "your funny" now I don't know if I can take it away. Perhaps I can take "those funnies"?
AbbaGav said…
Being funny actually isn't too difficult. Dilbert's creator, Scott Adams, recently offered a simple, easy-to-follow, step-by-step guide to the art of writing funny things.

By the way, if you're not funny, you're at least mildly amusing, and that's got to count for something.
Bkbuds said…
That's funny.
anybody said…
Jack,
She must be jealous of the fact that you are interesting, which in the grand scheme of things is far more important that just being funny. (btw--You are funny when you want to be!)
Unknown said…
I think your sidebar addition is VERY funny. :)
Soccer Dad said…
One erev Yom Kippur I asked my children how they'd like me to change. One brave child said, "Abba stop making so many jokes." By now a favorite line of my children is "Abba, you're not funny." Even from the 4 year old.
PsychoToddler said…
Maybe she's just not that into you.
Michael Suddard said…
another question:

How does one define the difference between "funny" and "hillarious"? Is there a difference?
Anonymous said…
Hi Jack!

I just have to say ...

I love you! (Can I be wife #5?)

As always, I find much delight in your clever wit. Thanks so much for the chuckles and grins.

I read this post to my husband, (Bob), and he apparently found you "that funny" and then some.

Oh! Which is to say, I suppose I shan't be marrying you, since I'm already hitched.

Ah well ... a girl can dream.

~ Stacy ~
Irina Tsukerman said…
Just out of curiosity, is it the fake lawyer from the previous episodes? LOL! What is it about "those people" that makes them sound the same after a while?!
Jack Steiner said…
Diffanon,

I think that you are correct.

MCA,

That would have offended the old Shmata queen and we cannot have that.

JB,

There is room for more.

Gavriel,

I prefer mildly amusing to being funny, it has character.

IE,

I try.

Donna,

Thank you.

Ezzie,

Actually I did too, thanks.

David,

Kids are a blast.

Mike/Mordy/Steve,

Probably not.

Michael,

Funny is how you describe falling down the stairs. Hilarious is how you describe your mother in law falling down the stairs.

Stacy,

I appreciate the offer, but there is a waiting list and an application.

Irina,

Kooks like me, what can I say.
Stacey said…
I don't wanna be your wife. Been there, done that. ;)
Jack Steiner said…
That is why I set you free. ;)
Stacey said…
That's not exactly how it went, Jcko.
benning said…
You are kinda funny, Jack, but then looks aren't everything.
Jack Steiner said…
Benning,

Sooner or later someone had to come up with that tired old line. Guess that it is appropriate it would be from the tired old guy. ;)