It Is Not One of My Finer Traits

One of the things that I enjoy about blogging is the ability to air out my thoughts. I am not one of those people who kept a journal. If I had to write this down on paper I'd never do it. I don't like writing that way. In part it is because I my penmanship is lousy and in part because I type a thousand times faster than I write.

And yes math girls, I measured it and remarkably enough it is 1000 times faster.

Among the things that I discuss here at the Shack are my thoughts and feelings about life including those about myself. I am exceptionally honest here. I don't use any false pretense, no bravado. I am open and exposed in a way that you might not ever find in person of otherwise.

I think that it is a healthy way to vent and a good exercise in personal growth. So now I am ready to share a couple of things about myself. I have a bad temper. It usually takes a while to get it to rear its ugly head, but if you poke, prod and push you will see the horns of my Taurus nature.

It is not of my finer traits but once I am really angry I haven't any problem telling you in very explicit terms where I want you to go and what I hope you do once you get there. The advantage of age and maturity is that it takes far longer for me to get to this point than when I was young.

In fact it is relatively rare for me to be angry like this and usually only happens because someone/something refused to leave me alone even when I made it clear that pressing me would be a mistake. Press me long enough and be prepared because I will not hesitate to let you see my unhappiness.

Working in conjunction with this is a long memory of slights and things that bother me. Yes, I am one of those people who has a hard time letting go. It is not one of my finer traits but if you have done something to upset me I have been known to hold a grudge for extended periods of time.

It is not a constant and not something that happens often but it does. I am working on it. I am doing what I can to just let things go and again I have found the advantage of age and maturity in assisting me to just let go of the small stuff.

But every now and then something happens that reminds me that there are still things that I don't just let go of. Irritants that get stuck in my craw and demand my attention. The bitter taste is not to be enjoyed and it colors my mood.

Time will take these and make them into smaller, meaningless issues, but for now they remain.


Ze'ev said...

Do you find that blogging about these sorts of challenges helps you to overcome them?

Anonymous said...

You're doing better than many people in that situation. So many people with tempers either pretend it is not a problem, or worse yet: Justify it as a part of "who they are" and smugly refuse to to try and control it. I'm just being me, Keeping it real, etc. Man those people drive me crazy.

Jack Steiner said...


Blogging helps me to understand myself better and try to make educated decisions about areas I want to change. So yes, I think that there is value there.


The world is made up of all kinds of people.

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