"We had the right love
At the wrong time
Guess I always knew inside
I wouldn't have you for a long time
Those dreams of yours
Are shining on distant shores
And if they're calling you away
I have no right to make you stay
Somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't really matter when
But somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours
will come to see
That you belong with me"
Somewhere Down The Road- Barry Manilow
"You taught me precious secrets of the truth, withholdin' nothin'
You came out in front and I was hiding
But now I'm so much better so if my words don't come together
Listen to the melody cause my love's in there hiding
I love you in a place where there's no space or time
I love you for my life, 'cause you're a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singin' my song for you"
A Song For You- Ray Charles
It is no secret that I have spent more than a few minutes thinking about you, wondering what you are doing and who you are doing it with. If I listened to the experts you'd never hear a word from me or about me. I'd be nothing more than a ghost in time, a memory of someone you once knew.
And if my past was any guide than that is how it would have gone down. We would have said whatever it is two people say to each other before they leave and then I would have walked out of your life and found whatever was waiting for me. That is how it had always gone before so it was more than a little shocking to me that it didn't happen now.
But who am I kidding, this thing we share has never been conventional, ordinary or normal. It has always been something....more. A moment in time that never yellows with age or withers with time. I don't have to close my eyes to see my girl or stare at your picture. I don't have to smell your perfume to remember because I always sense your presence. You are always with me, the song of my heart.
The song of my heart you touch those places inside that others are refused entry to. Your smile warms my soul and makes me believe that I can do things that I might not otherwise dare to consider. There is a beauty and grace that you carry with you.
So I suppose that some people would be surprised that we are not together. Shocked that so much love and potential would remain unfulfilled. Dumbfounded that circumstances conspired to prevent us from taking that next step into the world that we still dream of building. Heck, I can't quite figure out how it is that we haven't figured out how to bridge the gap.
Faith and hope are what carry me through the night. Little glimpses of things we hold dear to ourselves and to each other serve as reminders. Memories of kisses that made my skin tingle and the ache of the hole that exists when you are not by my side. These things are with me for good or for worse.
Goofy quotes like the one from A Wonderful Life make me smile.
George Bailey: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: I'll take it. Then what?
George Bailey: Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?
They make me smile because you make me want to try to give you the moon. They make me smile because I try to be cool and suave around you and end up babbling like a fool. Even now years later you sometimes make me stutter and stumble.
Little moments in time surround me. Memories of what was, faith and hope in what could be, they are there too. For now that is all there is and there are no guarantees that it will change. There is no Love Potion number 9 available for sale and even if there were I wouldn't purchase it. That is not how I want it to be.
For now I hope that you walk in the arms of the angel and carry my blessing and promise. If all goes as we wish then one day this will be nothing more than a small chapter in the story we continue to write. Stay safe, be strong and I will see you in the echoes of our future.
The Almost Warrior
Lightning Strikes Twice
These Pictures of You
The Lost Soul Mate
The Lonely Road
A Love Song That Needs To Be Written
Johnny Was A Hero
I Never Stop Thinking About You