Random Thoughts- Do They Have Meaning?: April 2009

April 30, 2009

Potential Health Benefits of Blueberries

I thought that this article on WebMD was interesting.

In the study, presented at Experimental Biology 2009, researchers fed rats bred to become obese either a high-fat or low-fat diet enriched with whole blueberry powder or carbohydrates as 2% of their total diet.

After 90 days, the rats fed blueberries had less abdominal fat, lower cholesterol, and improved glucose control and insulin sensitivity. The latter two factors are markers of how well the body processes sugar for energy and are related to diabetes risk.

These health benefits of blueberries were evident in rats fed both high- and low-fat diets enriched with the blueberry powder. But the benefits were greatest among those who ate a low-fat diet.

In addition to the other heart health benefits of blueberries, those fed the low-fat blueberry diet also lost body weight and fat mass compared to those on the high-fat diet.

Although more research is needed to confirm these results in humans, a related study presented at the same conference showed that men with risk factors for heart disease who drank wild blueberry juice for three weeks seemed to experience slight improvements in glucose and insulin control.

April 29, 2009

Driving

Here is a new segment to be inserted into Fragments of Fiction.

A month or so ago my editor sent me an email asking for me to send over a rough draft my new novel. He said that he didn't expect fireworks to shoot from it, but that he'd be pleased if it honked a time or two.

I must have read that line two or three times before I realized that he had really said that. What the hell does he mean about it honking a time or two. Instead of asking I sent him a note saying that I understood why I was the writer and he the editor. I then explained to him that honking made me think of tooting and that tooting was a euphemism for a stinky bodily function and that his line stunk.

If I hadn't already published a half dozen books I probably would have been shown the door or at least read the riot act. Thanks to the almighty dollar I was spared that indignity.

Anyway, I had to give him something so I quickly banged out the words below. I hoped that it would buy me some time, maybe another week or two.

I have images floating in my head that I thought that I'd share with you. One is of a man and a woman walking down two parallel paths. As they go down these roads they encounter all sorts of different creatures, a girl and her small dog, a scarecrow, a tin woodsman and even a witch or two.

But since the roads are parallel they have to overcome these challenges without help, or at least it appears that way. To those who don't know them it looks like they are fighting the flying monkeys all by themselves. But the reality is far different. Because even though they are physically separated there is more to them than meets the eye.
There is a connection that exists on a very deep level, deep enough that sometimes the two of them forget that it is there. But every so often it sends out a little ping and that reminds them of its existence and they remember that though they are not together now, they aren't really apart either.

So they continue to walk on down the yellowbrick road and through the fields and forests. Under blue skies and grey they march to beat of their respective drummers. And if you look at them closely you can see that every now and then they check the horizon, peering out to see if they can catch a glimpse of the other.

Neither knows for certain if these roads will ever cross. It is too hard to see that far ahead and at the moment the all powerful wizard's cellphone is broken. The trackball failed and in his frustration he flung it out a window, where it was taken by a large duck.

On and on they march towards the Emerald City because there is no turning back.

In some ways it is a screwy tale and if I was to give you the details I am sure that you would shake your head in disbelief. It is no secret that most writers write stories about what they know.

Or at least that is what they try to convince you in school. During my days as a creative writing teacher I used to say, "Writers write about what they know because they want to write what is right."

I liked it because it was meaningless drivel that I knew would be picked up by someone and paraded around as if it was passed down from Mount Sinai to the Children of Israel.

Optimus Prime is Jewish- Who Knew

How to maximize frequent flier miles

CNN has some useful advice for how to maximize frequent flier miles.

The key to redeeming miles lies in how the airlines value them. Since miles rewards programs were introduced, the industry rule of thumb has always been that a mile was worth about two cents. The underlying formula: 25,000 miles were required for one round-trip domestic coach ticket, which was estimated to have an average price of $500. (In other words, $500÷25,000=$0.02.)

But discount airlines and Internet fares have forced ticket prices down: the average domestic round-trip fare was $362 in the third quarter of 2008, according to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics. One mile has depreciated to around 1.5 cents today.

To decide how much an award ticket is worth, make some calculations. If you find a particularly good airfare deal, snap it up in cash and reserve your miles for times when fewer deals are available. Taking award seats makes the most sense when the cash value of a ticket is roughly in line with its cost in miles (say, when you find a last-minute flight to a popular European city that costs $600, and you can put down 60,000 miles -- or 1 cent per mile -- to buy it).

Is Florida Gov. Charlie Crist Really That Ignorant

It appears that Governor of Florida Charlie Crist is in need of some help. Someone came up with the cockamamie idea to offer religious themed license plates in Florida. The governor says that he doesn't see any issues with the separation of church and state. His argument is quite weak. I am not in favor of blurring the lines in this matter. The First Amendment is very clear.

It is to all of our benefit and advantage not to engage in this sort of political tomfoolery.

Hat Tip: DB

Should You Be Scared about The Swine Flu

Take a look at this CNN story:

(CNN) -- There had been no confirmed deaths in the United States related to swine flu as of Tuesday afternoon. But another virus had killed thousands of people since January and is expected to keep killing hundreds of people every week for the rest of the year.

That one? The regular flu.

An outbreak of swine flu that is suspected in more than 150 deaths in Mexico and has sickened dozens of people in the United States and elsewhere has grabbed the attention of a nervous public and of medical officials worried the strain will continue to mutate and spread.
Experts are nervous that, as a new strain, the swine flu will be harder to stop because there aren't any vaccines to fight it.

But even if there are swine-flu deaths outside Mexico -- and medical experts say there very well may be -- the virus would have a long way to go to match the roughly 36,000 deaths that seasonal influenza causes in the United States each year.

"That happens on an annual basis," Dr. Brian Currie said Tuesday. Currie is vice president and medical director at Montefiore Medical Center in Bronx, New York."

April 28, 2009

Do Men Have Feelings

Age is a funny thing. Until recently most of my experience with it had been waiting to get older. There were a million things that I wanted to do, but I wasn't old enough. Slowly but surely I hit those marks and gained the ability to do whatever it was that I wanted to at that point in time.

But until recently I never really felt old or felt the pressure that age can bring with it. Maybe it is all in my head, but with the end of my thirties rapidly approaching I no longer feel like I have eternity to fall back upon. Now I feel the weight of time and it makes me wonder.

You can blame some of this upon certain life experiences. Almost all of my friends are married, most for quite some time. Virtually all of us have children. And now we have reached that time when a number of the marriages are ending. As these relationships end or evolve I have noticed that some conversations that I had thought had been left in the past have resurfaced.

Four years I wrote a short post called Do Men Have Emotions? It wasn't anything special, but it is one that comes up in keyword searches on a regular basis. It is suddenly relevant to me again because lately the discussions about whether men have feelings have become more prevalent, and not just among the women, but the men.

I suppose that you can attribute the increased discussion to age and maturity. The boys don't really have that need to be tough, at least not among each other. Now there is far more support for sharing our tales with each other. It is far easier to talk about the girl that broke your heart in the past or the present as the case may be.

The other thing that I have found to be sort of funny is that I have heard a number of women complain about this show of emotion from the men. The cynic in me would accuse them of double standards. You want men to talk about their feelings, but when they do you complain that they are less manly. It is a catch-22 that not even Major Major could get out of.

I am not a social worker. I am not a therapist or some sort of shrink whose job it is to make sense of all this. That is not what I do. Men are men, women are women and we can only do what we can to try and figure it all out.

But I can guarantee that there will be a few women who end up on this post and ask for answers. All I can tell you is that we do have feelings. We fall in love and our happy. Relationships end and our hearts break. We are happy, we are sad and everything in between. We're humans just like you.

The biggest difference is that we're logical and you aren't. ;) And now if you'll excuse me I am going to employ the duck and cover technique while I sneak out of here.

How To Get More Readers For Your Blog

The two most common questions bloggers ask about blogging are how to get more readers and how encourage them to leave more comments. It is not surprising. It is always nice to see that people appreciate your work.

I have a simple formula that I try to follow that has proven to be successful.

Blog with passion and blog with joy. Blog with energy.

Many experts recommend that you pick a topic and focus upon that. That is solid advice. Writing about what you know is important, but so is writing about something you enjoy. It will pay dividends. You'll find it easier to pay attention to details and to craft something that is more interesting.

Write in your natural voice. Blogging is interactive, so be conversational when you can. But don't shy away from being descriptive. Your posts should tell a story, build a tapestry of images and ideas.

Pay attention to the titles of your posts. New readers aren't always aware that you are the next Hemingway so you need to do something to draw them in.

Read other blogs and comment on them. If your blog is focused on a particular topic go out and find like minded bloggers. Spend some time on their blogs and comment there.

A word of advice about this. Try to leave comments that make it clear that you read the post. If you are new to a blog and you leave comments like "good post" it may be flagged as comment spam.

Develop posts that are interactive in nature. Ask your readers questions that will encourage them to engage with you. For example write a post in which you ask your readers to name their three favorite blogs. Then go there and leave a comment saying that blogger XYZ sent you.

Relationships are important. Cultivate them. They are just as important in the blogosphere as they are outside of it. There may come a time when you have to take a break from blogging. If you don't want to lose momentum you can ask other bloggers to serve as a guest blogger on your blog.

Most of the time they'll let their readers know that they are pinch hitting elsewhere and you just might find yourself with some new readers.

And don't forget that it works the other way too. If you have the opportunity to be a guest blogger take it. It is an excellent way to expose yourself and your blog to a brand new audience.

But most of all, just have fun. I may be biased, but the best and most enjoyable blogs are those that Blog with passion and blog with joy. Blog with energy.

What do you think?

April 27, 2009

The Science Behind Beer Goggling

Time Magazine has an interesting story called Does Beer (Goggling) Affect Whom We Find Attractive?

The new study, set to be published in June in the 100th issue of the British Journal of Psychology, examined how alcohol plays into all these murky attractions to youth. The vast majority of men don't act on their potentially inappropriate, or criminal, impulses, but can those who do blame the booze?

The study's authors, Egan and Cordan, asked their 120 drinking and 120 sober participants to rate the attractiveness of 15-year-old girls versus 19-year-old girls shown in photographs. The study participants were evenly divided between men and women. For ethical and legal reasons, the photos were actually altered images of 17-year-old students from McMaster University in Ontario; they had given permission for their likenesses to be used. Researchers digitally manipulated the pictures to make the students' craniofacial features look like those of typical 15-year-olds or those of 19-year-olds. The doctored pictures were then shown in random order to participants recruited in bars, airport lounges, cafes and other natural settings.

On average, the participants found the "15-year-olds" slightly more attractive than the "19-year-olds," which reconfirms our inclination toward neoteny. Both men and women found the more youthful images of girls to be a bit more attractive than the older ones.

Surprisingly, drinking had little impact on the results.

365 Days of Face Painting

Wacky artist paints his face for a full year.

Do You Like Audio Posts?

A quick poll for those who care to answer. Do you like the audio posts?

April 26, 2009

Facebook and Bad Photos

Facebook has created some unforeseen issues for me that I refer to as Facebook and Bad Photos. These photos fall into two categories.

The first are pictures of myself that I do not like because I think that I look bad in them. By that I mean that I don't like the way I look because I am making a face or they make me look like I need to lose 763 pounds.

The second category are those pictures in which I am doing something that I do not think ought to be broadcast to the world. Hypothetically speaking someone could post a picture of me from 1992 in which it is clear that I and my companions are inebriated.

Now I am not saying that such a photo exists and if it did I would point out that when I am tired my eyes are red and I walk around with a goofy grin on my face. But if it did, I'd probably ask that it not be included.

As for the first category, well that is a different issue altogether. I am relatively photogenic. Most of the time I am happy with my pictures but lately there have been a few posted in which I cringe.

Perhaps you can blame it upon illusions of grandeur, in my head I always envision myself in my early twenties and I no longer look like that. I don't think that I look terrible, but I admit to being less than pleased with the current state of affairs.

What do you think? Have friends/relatives/acquaintances posted pictures of you online that you are unhappy with? Fill us in, inquiring minds want to know.

Comment Policy: Free Advertising

Consider this a clarification of the commenting policy here in two specific areas.

Most people understand that hate speech is simply inappropriate and they do not expect to be allowed to post wherever they go. This blog is no different. Post that here and it will be deleted, except when it meets specific needs.

For example, it may be used to help illustrate to the world just what sort of bigoted ass you are.

The second area to address is what we refer to as "free advertising." In general the proprietors of the Shack do not provide free advertising. If you have a particular product or service that you wish to promote you are welcome to contact me and I will be happy to discuss it with you.

It should be noted that if you operate a business blog and choose to comment here our preference is that you use a name and not your business name in the comments section. When I see comments from xyz.com or others that make me think that a spam blog has found me I tend to delete first and ask questions later.

Your cooperation is appreciated.

Israeli Security Repels Pirates

Ynet reports that an Italian cruise ship was attacked by pirates. However the assault was successfully repelled by their Israeli security team.

An Italian cruise ship with 1,500 people on board fended off a pirate attack far off the coast of Somalia when its Israeli private security forces exchanged fire with the bandits and drove them away, the commander said Sunday.

Cmdr. Ciro Pinto told Italian state radio that six men in a small white boat approached the Msc Melody and opened fire Saturday night, but retreated after the Israeli security officers aboard the cruise ship returned fire.

"It felt like we were in war," Pinto said. None of the roughly 1,000 passengers and 500 crew members were hurt, Melody owner Msc Cruises said in a statement issued by its German branch.

Domenico Pellegrino, head of the Italian cruise line, said Msc hired the Israelis because they were the best trained security agents, the ANSA news agency reported.

April 25, 2009

Haveil Havalim #214 - The Radiant Ziv edition

Every week the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere produces a weekly blog carnival of posts that cover politics, culture, religion, humor and more.

It is my great pleasure to let you know that the latest edition is now live. Go over to The Rebbetzin's Husband and read Haveil Havalim #214 - The Radiant Ziv edition.

Jack and Dr. Seuss

Sometimes when life is feeling particularly challenging I take a few minutes to read the work of one of my favorite philosophers, Dr. Seuss.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Congratulations!

Today is your day.You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes

You can steer yourself

any direction you choose.

You're on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets.

Look 'em over with care.

About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there.

"With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,

you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any

you'll want to go down.

In that case, of course,

you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there

in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen

and frequently do

to people as brainy

and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,

don't worry. Don't stew.

Just go right along.

You'll start happening too.

OH!

THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!

You'll be seeing great sights!

You'll join the high fliers

who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.

You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.

Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.

Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don' t

Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so

but, sadly, it's true

and Hang-ups

can happen to you.

You can get all hung up

in a prickle-ly perch.

And your gang will fly on.

You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch

with an unpleasant bump.

And the chances are,

then,that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,

you're not in for much fun.

Un-slumping yourself

is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked

.Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.

A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!

Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?

How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right

...or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?

Or go around back and sneak in from behind?

Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,

for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused

that you'll start in to race

down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace

and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,

headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.Waiting for a train to go

or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go

or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow

or waiting around for a Yes or a No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite

or waiting for wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO!

That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape

all that waiting and staying.

You'll find the bright places

where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,

once more you'll ride high!

Ready for anything under the sky.

Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!

There are points to be scored.there are games to be won.

And the magical things you can do with that ball

will make you the winning-est winner of all.

Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,

with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.

Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times

you'll play lonely games too.

Games you can't win'

cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!

Whether you like it or not,

Alone will be something

you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance

you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.

There are some, down the road between hither and yon,

that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go

though the weather be foul

On you will go

though your enemies prowl

On you will go

though the Hakken-Kraks howl

Onward up many

a frightening creek,

though your arms may get sore

and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike

and I know you'll hike far

and face up to your problems

whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,

as you already know.

You'll get mixed up

with many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.

Step with care and great tact

and remember that

Life's a Great Balancing Act.

Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.

And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3 /4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or

Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

you're off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So...get on your way!

Harry Chapin and Jack

In a different time and place I would have been one of those singer/songwriters, a bard, a traveling minstrel. I would have been some sort of court jester who traveled around the world. A collector of tales and epic adventures I'd pay my way by the use of my incredible talent to sing and tell stories.

But as I said, that dream takes place in a different time and space. I am not that Jack, but sometimes I wish that I were. I can't sing worth a damn, at least not with the sort of sound that people would pay to listen to. Perhas I could be paid not to sing, but that defeats part of the dream now doesn't it.

I like to think that I am a decent storyteller, not great, but decent. The good news is that it is a skill that can be practiced and improved upon. With some time and effort I am confident that I can improve. In a different post I might address the areas that I want to focus on, but not now.

Instead I want to share two more thoughts with you.

Earlier this week I found myself listening to one of my Harry Chapin CDs, The Gold Medal Collection. Two songs in particular really grabbed me, Cats In The Cradle and W*O*L*D*.

They caught me because there are so many elements in them that make me stop and say that could be my life. Now there is nothing profound in that, there is a reason why they were so popular. I am just one of many who feel this way about them, but they are part of the reason why I have this dream of being able to write songs like these.

For those of you are unfamiliar with the lyrics of these two songs let me share two excerpts that I appreciate:

"Sometimes I get this crazy dream
That I just drive off in my car
But you can travel on ten thousand miles and still say where you are
I've been thinking that I should quit disk jockeying
And start that record store
Maybe I could settle down
if you'ld take me back once more"
W*O*L*D

"Well I've long since retired my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind.
He said, I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you.
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me."
Cats In The Cradle

Indian Women Say No Toilet, No Wedding

This story is a good reminder to be thankful for what we have. More televisions, than toilets, that is bizarre.

In the northern Indian state of Haryana, courtship is generally intricate business, but the mothers of the brides-to-be have simplified matters by clearing stating to potential grooms: “If you don’t have a toilet, you cannot marry my daughter.”

In the northern Indian state of Haryana, courtship is generally intricate business, but the mothers of the brides-to-be have simplified matters by clearing stating to potential grooms: “If you don’t have a toilet, you cannot marry my daughter.”

The slogan, which is a bit longer in Hindi and specifically reads: “If you don’t have a proper lavatory in your house, don’t even think about marrying my daughter,” has been plastered all across villages as part of a campaign to increase the number of available facilities.

The chronic shortage of proper plumbing is ironic in a region of the country where more households have TV sets than toilets.

Believe it or not, it is estimated that in India more than 660 million people still defecate in the open, causing a myriad of medical conditions ranging from diarrhea to polio.

With 8% more men than women, the fairer sex in India have become more vocal about expressing their resentment at having to relieve themselves outside, giving brides more leverage in pre-marital bargaining.

“Women suffer the most from this situation. They must go outside and they have to do so before sunrise or after nightfall so they can’t be seen,” said Bindeshwar Pathak, founder of Sulabh, a company that has built toilets for ten million Indians, and the recipient of this year’s Stockholm Water Prize for developing eco-friendly lavatories to improve public health.

Hard Rock Bug Repellent

Who knew that listening to Stairway to Heaven or Paint it Black can help you rid yourself of vermin.

TUSCARORA, Nev. -- The residents of this tiny town, anticipating an imminent attack, will be ready with a perimeter defense. They'll position their best weapons at regular intervals, faced out toward the desert to repel the assault.

Then they'll turn up the volume.

Rock music blaring from boomboxes has proved one of the best defenses against an annual invasion of Mormon crickets. The huge flightless insects are a fearsome sight as they advance across the desert in armies of millions that march over, under or into anything in their way.

But the crickets don't much fancy Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones, the townspeople figured out three years ago. So next month, Tuscarorans are preparing once again to get out their extension cords, array their stereos in a quarter-circle and tune them to rock station KHIX, full blast, from dawn to dusk. "It is part of our arsenal," says Laura Moore, an unemployed college professor and one of the town's 13 residents.

April 24, 2009

Why NFL Draft Picks Fail

I really enjoy Live Science because they come up with a slew of interesting articles. This particular article discusses NFL draft picks and their success or lack thereof.

If you read through the article it discusses how the combine is not always a great indicator of success. Can't say that I was surprised by that. Ezzie will probably be particularly interested in the section on cleveland which delineates the three factors that cause those teams to lose.

Not to mention how it also translates to a huge disappointment for LeBron and company, but I digress.

I recommend reading the article. But I'll also add that I think that is more proof that few tests do a good job of really measuring how good people will be at anything. There are far too many variables that can influence performance.

And now an excerpt for your review:

"But in a new study, Frank Kuzmits and Arthur Adams, professors at the University of Louisville, evaluated more than 300 quarterbacks, running backs and wide receivers drafted over six seasons from 1999-2004.

They compared the players' combine performance on seven physical tests and the WPT with measures of success in the NFL. These three skill positions were chosen as they have distinct performance statistics that can be tracked (as opposed to linemen or defensive players.) Each position used the success metrics of draft order, salaries for years 1-3 and games played for years 1-3. In addition, QB rating, yards per carry and yards per reception were measured for quarterbacks, running backs and wide receivers, respectively.

No significant link was found between combine performance and NFL success, except between 40-yard dash times and running backs. Interestingly, even the Wonderlic aptitude test did not predict NFL achievement, even though a skill position like quarterback requires a decent amount of cognitive talent. That's not to say other psychological tests would be worthless. Kuzmits and Adams cite other studies that show a player's level of self-confidence and anxiety management to be strong clues to their future accomplishments.

Of course, not all draft picks are surrounded by great teammates and some don't even get out on the field during those first few seasons. But this research showed that good or bad performance in the combine is not related to good or bad performance on the field. So, the researchers question the value of these combine tests as a draft decision support tool.They do see a similarity between NFL teams choosing players and companies choosing employees."

Bridge over Troubled Water- Good Version

The Somalian Pirates Successful Business Model

In our continuing series of posts about the Somalian pirates we are pleased to present an interview with a former FBI agent (Jack Cloonan) who specializes in negotiating with pirates.

In it he discusses the hierarchy, intelligence of the pirates and how they communicate.

Here are a few excerpts for your review.

SPIEGEL: How does the money get delivered to the pirates? For example, are speedboats used?

Jack Cloonan: Delivering money is an extremely difficult part of the negotiation process because once you strike a deal, you do have to deliver the ransom. We used to rent tugboats in Mombasa. But the tugboat captains -- some of whom have delivered ransoms repeatedly -- have actually charged more for the delivery of the ransom than the actual ransom amount. What we do is, we cruise to a certain agreed-upon location with coordinates, you get within sight, the delivery is made from a bagman to the bad guys and then you hope that the pirates do the right thing. They generally do.

SPIEGEL: From your experience with the Somali pirates, are they intelligent people? Or are they simply thugs?

Cloonan: They're not stupid. They know that they've got a life -- they can leverage that. They know that it's a successful business model. They know that they can operate in this wide swath of area almost with impunity and they can pick and choose. And they're developing better strategies. They're going further out from the coast because they know the ships have been advised by the International Maritime Bureau to stay a minimum of 200 nautical miles offshore. If ships come in within say 50 or 100 miles, they're easily stopped.

And they are effective -- for example, when they call family members to induce stress. I think shooting off a gun during a telephone call and saying you just killed someone is pretty effective. I think moving ships and threatening to beach them is effective. The fact that they anchor the ships within sight of each other is very intelligent. Some are better than others.

SPIEGEL: In terms of the sociology of the pirates, do you have a sense of their hierarchy or of their structures?

Cloonan: Oftentimes when we've been engaged you'll see that there's a commander who's in charge once they get on board. And that situation can be very fluid. You might be dealing with Ahmed one day, maybe for two days, and then he gets frustrated and you get somebody else that comes on. As these things go on -- and they can typically last a month or more -- you'll have several representatives from the pirates but then at some point where you're really getting close and you're getting frustrated and they're getting frustrated, invariably the decision-maker comes forward. I equate it to buying a car in the United States. You're dealing with somebody and negotiating and then finally he just throws his hands up and says: "All right, I've got to go talk to my manager." And then they come back in and make a deal.

Our experience with the pirates suggests to us that there is an organizational structure. So if we're not making progress with somebody on board during the negotiations, then we ask for the right person, the decision-maker. He could be on land, he could be on board.

If you read the whole interview you'll see that Cloonan addresses the question of the best way to try and prevent these incidents. His suggestions include taking a different route and escorts for the ships.

I'll avoid snarky comments about that and suggest that non lethal measures may not be the most effective tool for dealing with these criminals. But then again, I am just a guy writing this from the comfort of my keyboard, so what do I know.

The Naked Wizard & The Police

The police have a very tough job. I am serious about that. Any time you deal with people you are bound to encounter situations that are going to be quite challenging. And we ask the police to deal with a million different kinds.

They not only have the so called normal citizens but all of the criminals and mentally ill to contend with as well. And now they get to do all of this in a time in which their interactions can be filmed and uploaded for millions of people to critique.

It is a tough job under any circumstances and that just makes it worse. Add to it the suspicion that many people have about cops and you have a recipe for all sorts of trouble.

Anyway, law enforcement is not for me. I have little to no interest in it and I certainly wouldn't want to have to deal with people like The Naked Wizard in the video below. I'll lay odds that these officers end up getting sued for tasering this man.

Now maybe he deserved it and maybe he didn't, hard to say without having see the whole event. What we know for certain is that in addition to this footage there has got to be all sorts of other short clips that were filmed by others. This should make for a fun investigation.

Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

April 23, 2009

I Was Interviewed- Shameless Self Promotion

Want to learn a little bit more about me? Go read my interview at DovBear.

Automobile Repairs- Your Mechanic & You

Many years ago I remember telling the Shmata Queen about the similarities between cars and women. It was one of those obnoxious comparisons in which you suggest that both are expensive hobbies, but at least the car doesn't talk back.

Some of you are probably waiting for the punch line where I tell you about how she literally punched me. Sorry to disappoint you, but The Shmata Queen was and is so madly in love with me that it was all she could do not to kiss me. Did I tell you that one of the many attributes she finds so very attractive is my enormous and incomparable humility..

Hee hee. I can't stop laughing. When she reads this I am going to need to be certain to be extra wary, that woman carries an enormous black purse and let me assure you, it hurts to be belted with it.

Anyhoo, the joyous man that you all know as moi, Jack has a wry grin upon his face. You see my car decided to start smoking yesterday and sadly it wasn't a good cigar. So off we went to see the wonderful wizard of auto repairs where we received a laundry list of items that needed to be attended to.

My dear beloved Honda is 9 years old and has 98,760 miles give or take a few on it. Up to now I haven't had to do much other than change a few tires and a little brake work. But something told me that our relationship was going to change a bit this time around.

The damn radiator gave up on me. It is cracked. And because it can't just be one thing to deal with there were a number of others that demand attention. So I reviewed the list and gave approval to hook up a direct line between my bank account and the mechanic.

And now I am sitting here watching the IV, kind of bittersweet to see all those dollars flowing through that clear plastic. I had such hopes and dreams for it all.

On a more serious note, I am very familiar with my mechanic. I have been taking my cars to him for years now and they have always treated me fairly which is why I still see them. That level of trust is very important. I know enough about cars to understand what is important and what isn't.

That is not to say that you can't B.S. me, but it is not going to be easy. And what I appreciate about these guys is that they haven't ever tried to do so. They always give me a list of what is necessary and what is recommended.

Still, it hurts to have to drain my bank account like this. I don't think that I have ever been able to buy a car on my terms. It always has come at a point in time when I couldn't stomach pouring more cash into whatever vehicle I was dealing with at that time.

One of these days I'd like to change that. I'll add that to my list. In the meantime I have to go find my helmet because I have this sneaking suspicion that I am in danger of getting bonked in the head. Hee hee, I can just hear her now. ;)

Yes, She is an Idiot

This is one of those stories that makes me shake my head. I am sorry that this woman was hurt, but she created the problem for herself.

A Cheatham County woman who said she was beaten after giving a homeless man a cheeseburger outside a Nashville McDonald's last year is suing the restaurant, a nearby liquor store and her alleged attacker.

Fran MacLaren and her husband, Thomas, filed suit in Davidson County Circuit Court on Monday. They are asking for $2 million in damages.

In the criminal assault case against David Craig last April, MacLaren testified that she went to a Nolensville Road McDonald's for lunch on April 21, 2008. The homeless man, Craig, was outside of the fast-food chain after being told to leave a nearby liquor store, named in the suit as Uncle Koto Liquor Store.

MacLaren gave Craig the cheeseburger as he was lying down in a parking spot outside the restaurant. Craig shouted he didn't want the burger, just money and threw the burger at MacLaren, she testified.

"I told him he was an ungrateful bastard,'' she testified.

Craig went after her, she said. He struck her repeatedly, broke her nose, fractured her wrist, cheekbone and cracked a rib, she said. She also injured her knee.

April 22, 2009

Tweeting About Twitter- One Blogger Speaks

I signed up for Twitter in December of 2008 and have been exploring/examining its utility for myself since then. Midway through my fourth month of using it I don't have a good feel for whether it is really helped me.

There are aspects of it that I really like. It is a useful tool as a source of information as well as for disseminating it. But I suspect that it is doing more to hinder blogging than to help it.

Based upon personal experience I find that things I would have blogged about are getting swept aside and turned into a simple tweet. It appears to me that some other bloggers are experiencing the same thing.

However since I haven't conducted any sort of poll this might not be entirely accurate. I don't know.

I have also been careful not to let myself get too wrapped up in it. There is only so much time in the day and far too many things that serve as distractions or unintentional time sucking devices.

In fairness I should add that I feel a bit like I am in the middle of the dog days of blogging. I still do it and I still enjoy it, but it has lost a bit of the shine for me. We'll have to see if that is temporary state or something else.

What do you think of Twitter?

Music From The Morning

A quick look at some of the music I listened to this morning.

Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hand- Primitive Radio Gods
You're Gonna Go Far, Kid-The Offspring
Gone Away- The Offspring
Jerusalem- Matisyahu
Just Another Day- Oingo Boingo
Insanity-Oingo Boingo
GoldenEye- Tina Turner
Tikva-Subliminal & The Shadow
Mr. Brightside- The Killers
Tuesday Afternoon- The Moody Blues
The Voice- The Moody Blues

April 21, 2009

Dad, What Is a Gas Chamber?

"Dad, What Is a Gas Chamber" is one of the most horrific questions that I have heard in my life. He is not quite 8.5 and he wants to know what a gas chamber is and why people would murder other people.

He says that he can't understand why people would be mean to someone else just because they look different or have different thoughts. I am more than troubled by this because I know that I have to answer his questions. I know that I have to despoil more of his innoncence and tell him that some people are just bad.

I have to tell him that in this house we teach everyone to judge a person based upon their actions and that even though it is the right way, not everyone follows it. I tell him that some people are bad and there is no good explanation for it.

Inquisitive eyes look up at me and he says that he doesn't understand and that he thinks he might be a little afraid. I tell him not to be afraid, that most people don't act like that. I tell him that part of why people have to have these conversations is so that we can help others prevent these things.

He smiles and tells me that he feels better because he knows that if anyone tried to hurt anyone in his family I would kill them. He knows that if anyone did anything I would get them first. He looks up at me and says that he is ok with me killing someone if they try to hurt one of us.

Now I turn away because there is a tear in my eye. I want to scream at the injustice of it all. I want to yell because it is unfair that yet one more piece of his innocence is being taken from him all too soon.

It hurts to see him learn these lessons, but he has to know. So we are very careful with these conversations to try and make them age appropriate. But kids are kids and they find out things. They listen to what is going on around them. They talk to their friends and they learn. So some things come out earlier than you'd think and you do the best you can.

I am grateful that he feels comfortable speaking to me and that I make him feel safe. I don't tell him that a parent's worst fear is that the monsters get to the kids first, that for whatever reason we aren't there to protect them.

Later on I watch him sleep. He is out, the picture of bliss and harmony. I used to sleep like that. I used to just close my eyes and that was it. But not anymore. Now there is always one ear open, listening, just in case.

I am exhausted now, but I won't be able to sleep for a while. That question haunts me, "Dad, What Is a Gas Chamber?"

April 20, 2009

Yom HaShoah- Holocaust Memorial Day

Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Memorial Day has begun and I find myself searching for the proper way to express my thoughts about the day.

It is of critical importance, this day. It is a time to reflect upon the horrors of the past so that we do not forget that they can happen again. One of the saddest truths about humanity is that we have ample examples from past and present times of the barbarism that man can exhibit towards other men.

There are a number of issues that surround this day that concern me. As more time passes and more survivors die it becomes easier for the world to forget and for the deniers to try to make their case.

I have often wondered how the deniers can claim that six million did not die and that it was a smaller number of only a few hundred thousand. Either number is incredibly hard to digest, to fathom, to understand. Is there any less horror in saying that only 100,000 lives were intentionally snuffed out.

The answer is no. But it would be wrong to allow the horror of those days to be diminished and wrong to those who perished and those who survived. So it is critical that we confront those who make these claims and show that they are false.

While I was trying to determine what I wanted to include in this post I reviewed what I had done in the past and noticed that I had mentioned Ahmadinejad several times. I don't mean that in the context of having mentioned him several times in a post, but that I did so in more than one year.

Ahmadinejad was/is a constant in these posts, a Holocaust denier and antisemite who has called for the destruction of Israel. History has taught us that when someone in a position of power makes these sorts of outlandish threats you need to pay attention.

You don't make label it as being flowery political rhetoric or make any sort of excuses for it. It would be dangerous and foolhardy to ignore these remarks or take them as anything less than a declaration of his intentions.

There are too many examples of what happens when people remain silent. Africa burns and the world ignores its screams. Darfur now, Rwanda earlier.

If we are to take the lesson of never again seriously we need to apply it today and tomorrow. The world has a very short memory of just how brutal we can be to each other. Watch and be dismayed. May we never see such things again.

Crossposted on Yourish.

Still Coping with Sick Parents

Fifteen years ago my uncle died. He was my father's younger and only brother. He was 49. At the time I knew that was young, but it didn't strike me as to how very young it was. It is really now that I am about to crest the hill and turn 40 that I see it as being half a life, but is related to this somewhat tangentially.

His death marked a turning point in my relationship and understanding of my father. I see it a bit as a benchmark for when I began to truly recognize that my father was just a man and subject to the same laws and science as all men are.

It was the first time that I really saw him in a light where he wasn't our shining knight, protector of the family. I stood back and watched as he and my grandfather hugged each other. I watched as a father and son coped with their loss and tried to make sense of it. That was really when I understood that though he was my father, there was much more to him.

And now I find myself in a different sort of position than I did back then. Now I am more than a son and a brother, but a father as well. Now I understand the responsibility of caring for a family and trying to be the rock, even when it feels like the world around you is collapsing.

A short while ago I received a telephone call from my mother and let her fill me in on my father's latest medical procedure. It was a good call. His health is ok, pooey, pooey, but it is not what you would call stellar. The man has a lot of medical challenges. There are some serious issues there and I find myself worrying about him.

Is it fair to call him a sick parent. I don't know that I can say that because his health is certainly better than others I know. But, it is a precarious thing as there are any number of things that could send it in the wrong direction.

Most of the time it is not a conscious worry. To the best of our knowledge there is no reason to think that we are going to suddenly lose him, but then again it is not impossible either. Given the things that have happened, that history makes it hard not to be concerned.

I haven't got any brothers, plenty of brother-in-laws, but no brothers. So if heaven forbid something happens to him I am the last male connection to certain things.

Don't misunderstand me, I am not trying to buy sorrow early. But it is a bit surreal. I didn't expect to really worry about my parents until they were somewhere in their eighties or nineties. Maybe that is ridiculous, maybe it is naive, but it was what I expected.

Instead I find myself sandwiched in this place where I worry about them and my family. So here I sit sharing these thoughts with whomever reads them. Here I sit thinking about how many of my friends have already lost a parent, many of them at a very young age. Here I sit with gratitude for everything, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling nervous from time to time.

It is a screwy world, but it is the only we have got so I suppose we'll just have to make do. In the meantime I'll share one more thought with you and that is this.

I wonder when my own children will go through this process. I wonder when I'll cease being superman and become Clark Kent, just another ordinary Joe. I don't really mind that all, I just hope that it doesn't happen until they become adults. It would be nice to keep this going for a bit longer.

Three Computers & A BlackBerry

More on Columbine

Today is the ten year anniversary of the Columbine tragedy. Since many of my readers were on vacation last week I thought that I'd follow up on that post with another.

As I said in my initial post I have always been bothered by the attempt to explain the actions of the perpetrators of this atrocity as somehow having been tied into bullying.

It is understandable that in the face of tragedy people try to understand why things happen. But I cannot accept an explanation that absolves these two monsters of responsibility for their actions.

More importantly if you read some of the stories that have come out about that day you will see that Klebold and Harris were not the victims of bullying. Still, even if they had been there is no excuse for their actions. The majority of the world does not resort to violence in the face of mistreatment.

"(CNN) -- What do you remember about April 20, 1999?

If you recall that two unpopular teenage boys from the Trench Coat Mafia sought revenge against the jocks by shooting up Columbine High School, you're wrong.

But you're not alone.

Ten years after the massacre in Littleton, Colorado, there's still a collective memory of two Goth-obsessed loners, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, who went on a shooting rampage and killed 12 of their classmates and a teacher, injured 23 others and then turned their guns on themselves.

Journalist and author Dave Cullen was one of the first to take on what he calls the myths of Columbine. He kept at it for a decade, challenging what the media and law enforcement officials reported.

"Kids had never been attacked in this kind of way until Columbine," he recently told CNN. "I just had to find out what happened to those kids."

Cullen's book,"Columbine," was released this month -- just in time for today's 10th anniversary of the shooting at the Colorado high school. While tackling popular misconceptions, Cullen also gives a riveting account of what happened that day and how the survivors view the event that marked their lives forever.

Cullen concluded that the killers weren't part of the Trench Coat Mafia, that they weren't bullied by other students and that they didn't target popular jocks, African-Americans or any other group. A school shooting wasn't their initial intent, he said. They wanted to bomb their school in an attack they hoped would make them more infamous than Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh."

If you think about it, that last sentence makes it all the more frightening.

April 19, 2009

A Warranty for The Warranty

In general I am not a huge fan of warranties for the things that I own. I suppose that you can attribute this to a my feeling that the warranties are a marketing trick that is used to try and suck a few more dollars out of me and the fact that most are just inadequate.

Now I am not going to try and make a case for whether either of these thoughts are factually accurate. I'll leave that job to Consumer Reports and other organizations that are dedicated to protecting consumer rights.

At the moment I am particularly irritated because during the past several months I have spent more time than I care to think about dealing with the customer service departments of various manufacturers.

All of these conversations start out the same way. I provide the details about why something I own is no longer working and my desire to see it fixed/repaired/replaced whatever. They in turn tell me what options exist for solving my problem and in many cases it has been a relatively painless process.

But not every time. On more than one occasion I have found myself wishing that I could figure out a way to crawl through the phone so that I might throttle the customer service representative on the other side.

Those moments find me staring at the phone trying to figure out what the source of the communication breakdown is. Maybe it is me. Maybe aliens have zapped me with some sort of invisible laser beam and I no longer speak English. Maybe what they are hearing is me speaking ancient Mayan and that is why they keep asking me to repeat myself.

On one occasion I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and say that I was being Punk'd. He is lucky that he didn't because I know that Demi prefers that he not be forced to use a straw to eat.

Let's talk about cars for a moment. A while back I purchased a car that I had been leasing. During negotiations the dealer tried to confound me with BS about this and that and threw in a warranty as a gesture of good faith. I didn't really care. We had already agreed upon the price that I wanted so it was nice, but nothing special.

Anyway, I had a small issue with the car recently. This all inclusive warranty was supposed to protect me from virtually anything, except the issue that I had was the one freaking thing not covered by the warranty.

Pretty nifty eh.

And the beat goes on. Last night I discovered that the glass on one of my exterior doors has cracked. It is less than three years old. Needless to say I wasn't pleased. So I dug into my file and found the paperwork for its purchase and called Home Depot.

Mr. Doorman told me that I shouldn't worry because it should have a five year warranty on it. Of course, they don't cover that, the manufacturer does. So he gave their telephone number and told me that I should call them tomorrow morning and he was sure that they'd take care of it.

I asked him what happens if they don't and he said, "don't worry about it, I am sure that they will." Easy for him to say and I hope that he is right. But even if he is, none of them are going to compensate me for the time that I have lost taking care of these things.

I suppose that I really shouldn't complain, but it is times like this that I miss being twenty something and not having to worry about warranties. Back then when it died, it was dead and that was that. There was somethig kind of nice about knowing a quick garage sale would take care of disposing of all my crap.

On the other hand, there is something nice about having real stuff now too. I just wish that it would last a bit longer, or that I had a concierge who could take care of it all for me.

The Speech Nixon Never Had to Give

This July marks the 40th anniversary of the moon landing. Had tragedy struck President Nixon would have had to address the nation. This article discusses the speech that he would have given. It was entitled In the event of Moon disaster.

If Armstrong and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin had been stranded on the Moon, unable to return to Michael Collins’s orbiting Apollo 11 command ship, Nixon would have called their widows then addressed a horror-struck nation.
“Fate has ordained that the men who went to the Moon to explore in peace will stay on the Moon to rest in peace,” he would have told the watching millions.
These brave men know there is no hope for their recovery but they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
“These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding.
“They will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
“In their exploration, they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.”
The President would have added: “In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood. Others will follow and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied but these men were the first and they will remain the foremost in our hearts.”
And in an allusion to Rupert Brooke’s First World War poem The Soldier, his concluding lines were to be: “For every human being who looks up at the Moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.”

Haveil Havalim #213

The 213th edition of Haveil Havalim, the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere's blog carnival is up at The Real Shaliach.

Do You Follow Your Own Advice

Sometimes I am plagued by doubt. Sometimes I look in the mirror and stare at the face and wonder how that guy is going to get through the day because I am not convinced that he is up for the job. I stare and wonder if everyone else can see that he is just really good at faking it.

And then sometimes I feel the exact opposite of that. There are moments that I can only describe as being triumphant. Moments in which I am completely confident that everything I desire will come to me because I can make it happen.

The real trick is to not live in either extreme but to try and stay centered. Most of the time I feel like I do a pretty good job of it. Most of the time I feel like I have a realistic view of what is going on and a solid idea about how to keep things afloat.

But the moments of doubt do come. There are those times when I feel like have the most tenuous grasp on it all, when I feel like everyone else gets what they want, but I don't.

When that happens I take a deep breath and take a general accounting of what I have. I look around and remind myself of all that I have achieved and accept that it is possible that I could lose it all. Everything could go away. All that I love and hold dear could be taken from me.

I know this. Been to enough funerals to see the truth and the possibility of it all.

But I also know that it is highly unlikely that it will happen. Life is always going to be a bit of a roller coaster. There are going to be the good moments and the bad. So all I need to do is try to steer that middle course and remind myself that nothing lasts forever. The good times may come and go, but so do the bad times.

The hardest part for me is taking my own advice. I'll be damned if sometimes the hard times don't seem to have taken up permanent residence. I suppose that part of why I like blogging is that it makes it easier for me to see the evidence of all sides.

Anyway, I am working hard on taking one piece of advice more seriously, and that is getting more rest. So if you'll excuse me I am off to catch some shut eye.

April 18, 2009

Getting Paid for Your Relationship

The New York Time has an article about a website that offers a different sort of matchmaking. SeekingArrangement.com provides a service that is available for use by men and women.

More to the point it helps arrange meetings between those who wish to play sugar daddy or sugar mama as the case may be and those who wish to be kept.

These sorts of relationships have long predated the Internet, but I can't help but be curious as to how many more have been created because of it. Not making a judgment call here, just commenting on yet another example of how the net has changed lives.

"... They’re not searching for longtime soul mates; they want no-strings-attached “arrangements” that trade in society’s most valued currencies: wealth, youth and beauty. In the cheesy lexicon of the site, they are “sugar daddies” and “sugar babies.”

There’s the 18-year-old from France asking for $5,000 to $10,000 a month from “a mentor who can provide me with the finer things in life and keep me happy!” And the 49-year-old investor from upstate New York willing to pay $5,000 a month for a “daytime playmate” for “intense connection without commitment.” Critics say the site is at best a convenience store for adulterers and at worst a virtual brothel, but Brandon Wade, Seeking Arrangement’s 38-year-old founder and chief executive, is unperturbed by the criticism. “We stress relationships that are mutually beneficial,” he says. “We ask people to really think about what they want in a relationship and what they have to offer. That kind of upfront honesty is a good basis for any relationship.”

The site now claims more than 300,000 registered members, far fewer than mainstream dating sites like Match.com, which has 1.5 million paying subscribers, but still a remarkable number. Sugar babies outnumber daddies 10 to 1, Wade says, providing what one sugar daddy called “the best fishing hole I ever fished in.”

This abundance of possibility is part of what the site is selling, along with fantasy. Some of these men — especially those shopping for women half their age — are digging deep into their pockets to pay for an illusion: that despite their receding hairlines and wattled skin, they’re still enchanting enough to charm pretty young women. One image on the site features a dazed, graying man doted on by two barely clad attendants — a caricature of an already caricatured relationship. But this marketing spin doesn’t capture the nuances of the relationships that often develop between the “daddies” and the “babies” who meet on the site — relationships that can turn out to be more complicated than even the members themselves expect."

Hannah Montana Movie

The dark haired beauty wants to see the Hannah Montana movie as soon as possible. As a little sister she knows that she is obligated to do her best to aggravate her older brother as frequently as possible. She accomplishes this by telling him that their father, me, has agreed to take them both to go see it.

What she does not tell him is that although I have agreed that she can see the movie, I haven't said one word about when we'll see it. Seconds after her announcement he comes flying into my room to express his disapproval, displeasure and disappointment with this.

"Dad, you know that I hate Hannah Montana. Why would you make me see it."

I look at him and ask him if he really thinks that I am going to take him to see the movie. Would I really waste money on a ticket for a movie I know that he won't like.

He nods his head at me and I can see that he is lost in thought. A moment later he looks at me and says, "Dad, I think that you aren't telling me something."

I look at him and ask him what he means.

"Dad, girls are really annoying. They must really be good at something for you to you have put up with them as long as you have."

I think that one day I am going to have to revisit this conversation with him, but for now we'll let it sit.

Cleveland Tourism Video

April 17, 2009

Some Links

The President Ties His Own Hands on Terror

She Didn't know she was Pregnant- How does that happen.

Scuba-diving 'Satanists' hack off arms of submerged Jesus statue

Be Careful- Your Balls Might Explode
Sex Spray To Stave Off Orgasm Might Not Be So Revolutionary After All
Tourists have to try to combat the 'ugly American'
Thief to victim: 'You can have your car back'- The Shmata Queen would do something like this.
Moms spill truth about motherhood- Someone tell them to quit complaining and get cooking.
Saudi official moves to regulate child marriages- Sure they are. And cleveland is a nice place to live, the sky is purple and Britanny Spears has real talent.

Thunder & Lightning

The distant boom of thunder and a flash of lightning made it clear that Springtime had arrived. Her desk was on the 22nd floor providing her with a clear view of the cloud filled sky. Though it was only midmorning the black clouds and falling rain made it appear to be far later than it was.

For a moment she stared out the window and lost herself in thought. Later that day she'd join a thousand other commuters on the road and engage in the joy of rush hour. She was hopeful that it would be an uneventful drive, but this time of year you never did know when a hailstorm might start.

A good hailstorm could wreak havoc upon your car. Out here the hail had a proclivity for being larger, golf ball and even softball size hail were not uncommon. It was fun to watch from within the comfort of your home, provided it wasn't wrecking your car or battering a hole in your roof.

Two more blasts of thunder made her windows shake. That didn't bode well for bedtime. The kids hated the noise and would seek comfort sleeping with mom. That was good for them, they'd get a full nights rest, but not so good for her. They had a tendency to roll around and kick their legs. More than likely she'd wake up bruised and exhausted.

As she sat there lost in thought she wondered if he ever thought about her or whether he had just moved on. She didn't really think that he had, but they had never gone this long without speaking. She wasn't used to the silence and hadn't really believed that he would maintain it for as long as he had.

It was confusing. The silence made her feel unimportant and irrelevant. She would have been thrilled to have received a call or an email, some sort of sign that he missed her. The door to her office suddenly burst open and she lost her train of thought.

There was only one person who did that, her boss. Apparently she thought that common courtesy applied to everyone but her. She was short and chunky with a hairstyle that forever looked like she had just woken up. Not only did she lack courtesy she also lacked fashion sense or maybe she just had bad eyes. It was hard to say.

Regardless of the reason she had a bad habit of wearing jeans that were three sizes too small and a tight top. It was a good look for a stuffed sausage, but not so good for her. In addition to her lack of fashion sense and courtesy she suffered from a lack of boundaries.

About once a week she'd waddle in the office and start telling stories about miserable she was and how many drugs she took to ease her mind and help her sleep. And of course these bonding moments only took place after the work day had ended.

Inevitably she'd find herself having to stay late so that she could pretend to be interested in listening to her tales of woe. It was beginning to wear upon her and she was afraid that sooner or later she'd get caught rolling her eyes or give some other sign that made it clear she thought that the boss was an idiot.

Still, she was thankful to have a job so she did her best to put up with it. Looking up from her computer she offered a big smile and waited for her instructions. Still she couldn't help but wonder if somewhere out there that boy she wasn't supposed to be thinking about was thinking about her too.

Sarkozy Calls Obama Weak

This isn't really the sort of response we want Obama to receive from other world leaders. OTOH, France hasn't really been a significant world power for far longer than they care to admit. Take the criticism for what it is worth.

The US President is weak, the Spanish leader is dim, the German Chancellor is clinging on to France’s coat-tails and the head of the European Commission is irrelevant.
That, at any rate, is the world according to President Sarkozy, who has spent the week airing his unvarnished opinions of Barack Obama and an array of international politicians — abruptly ending France’s honeymoon with the US and needling Washington on several strategic issues.
In the latest in a stream of accounts from the Élysée Palace, Mr Sarkozy was quoted yesterday as telling an all-party group of MPs that Mr Obama was inexperienced and indecisive. “Obama has a subtle mind, very clever and very charismatic,” the French President said. “But he was elected two months ago and had never run a ministry. There are a certain number of things on which he has no position. And he is not always up to standard on decision-making and efficiency.”
The US President had underperformed on climate change when they met, Mr Sarkozy said, according to an account of the MP’s session in the newspaper Libération. “I told him, ‘I don’t think that you have quite understood what we are doing on carbon dioxide’.”Mr Sarkozy was apparently irked by media reports that Mr Obama had saved the day in London by persuading President Hu of China to reach a compromise with France over tax havens. Mr Sarkozy’s version is that he shamed Mr Obama into action, telling him: “You were elected to build a new world. Tax havens are the embodiment of the old world.”

April 16, 2009

Does Whole Foods Support Terrorism

I know a few people are going to be interested in reading a bit more about this story about Whole Foods and terrorism. What do you think?

Snake Tries to Eat Man, Man Bites Back

Want to know what snake tastes like? Ask this fellow. Better yet ask the keystone cops how they let the snake escape.

A Kenyan man bit a python which wrapped him in its coils and dragged him up a tree during a fierce three-hour struggle, police have told the BBC.

The serpent seized farm worker Ben Nyaumbe in the Malindi area of Kenya's Indian Ocean coast at the weekend.

Mr Nyaumbe bit the snake on the tip of the tail during the exhausting battle in the village of Sabaki.
Police rescued Mr Nyaumbe and captured the 13ft (4m) reptile, before taking it to a sanctuary, but it later escaped.

The victim told police he managed to reach his mobile phone from his pocket to raise the alarm when the python momentarily eased its grip after hauling him up a tree on Saturday evening. Mr Nyaumbe used his shirt to smother the snake's head and prevent it from swallowing him.

His employer arrived with police and villagers, who tied the python with a rope and pulled them both down from the tree with a thud.

Peter Katam, superintendent of police in Malindi district, told the BBC News website: "Two officers on patrol were called and they found this man was struggling with a snake on a tree.

"The snake had coiled his hands and was trying to swallow him but he struggled very hard. The officers and villagers managed to rescue him and he was freed.

"He himself was injured on the lower lip of the mouth - it was bleeding a little bit - as the tip of the snake's tail was sharp when he said he bit it." Mr Nyaumbe told the Daily Nation newspaper how he resorted to desperate measures after the python, which had apparently been hunting livestock, encircled his upper body in its coils.

"I stepped on a spongy thing on the ground and suddenly my leg was entangled with the body of a huge python," he said.

"I had to bite it."

Probably Not a Smart Thing to Say

Hulk Hogan, what the hell were you thinking when you said all this crap.

(CNN) -- Pro wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, embroiled in a bitter divorce with his wife, Linda, told Rolling Stone magazine he can "totally understand" O.J. Simpson, the former football great found liable for the deaths of his wife and another man.

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody's throat," Hogan said in the interview for a feature that will run in Friday's edition of the magazine.

"You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife... .

"I totally understand O.J. I get it," Hogan said

A spokeswoman for Rolling Stone magazine confirmed the quote to CNN.

It has been widely reported that Linda Hogan, 49, is dating a younger man. She filed for divorce in 2007 after nearly 25 years of marriage.

Rules For Life

I remember a day from a time not so far past. I was walking down 42nd Street towards Times Square. It was the middle of July and the day was relatively warm. For a kid from L.A. the heat wouldn't have been noticeable but I was dressed in a suit and carrying a laptop. There was business to conduct.

The sky was blue and relatively free of clouds. The usual noises of the city surrounded me. Cars, taxis, buses and people all moving in every direction, semi organized chaos. I was lost in thought about someone who had offered to pepper my pike. I'll let you wonder what that means, it doesn't really matter.

As I walked someone stopped me on the street to ask directions. I laughed and told them that I was just another tourist wandering the streets. She looked at me and said that I looked so intent she assumed that I knew exactly where I was going and that I had to be a native. I smiled and told her that home was across the country and that I could answer any questions she might have about L.A.

Can't tell you what happened after that, I just don't remember. What I do remember was feeling like life was about to change, and I was right because my life did change.

Six years later I am standing outside of my house. Beneath blue skies peppered with clouds a boy with my hands is attempting to push me. For almost ten minutes he has tried every trick he can think of to cause me to give ground. I haven't told him, but these moments are getting harder for me.

He has grown bigger and stronger. More importantly he has grown more confident in himself and he knows that if he keeps trying he will eventually succeed. He knows this because I have drilled it into his head. Persevere, persist, keep trying, keep searching for the thing that works and you'll find a way. Practice, practice, practice and it gets easier.

I want him to win. I want him to beat me at this game and I hate the idea that one day he might. I don't let him beat me at everything. I don't let him win all the time. I want him to lose so that he learns how to deal with it. I want to force him to think about different ways of approaching the situation so that he might come up with a solution.

My feet are burning. The driveway is hot and I am beginning to notice the flames dancing from between my toes. Another moment and I am going to have to decide whether to let him win or if I should scoop him up like a sack of potatoes and go running.

Ego wins and he ends up thrown over my shoulder, but it takes a moment to get him up there. He has anticipated this move and attempted to counter it. For the moment size and strength are things that he can't compensate for and I win.

Laughing I launch us up the road at a sprint. A short time later I am hunched over, his old man is huffing and puffing a bit. Sprawled on the lawn we share a cold drink and talk. He wants to know what sort of rules for life there are. That is not exactly the question he asks, but it is close enough.

I tell him that the rules are simple. Try to be a good person and do what you can to be happy. He tells me that he wants more details and I smile and say that the rest is commentary. He doesn't catch the reference but he understands the part about happiness.

We talk more and share a few secrets. A moment later we are lying on our back staring at the sky and my mind wanders off. Within the last ten years or so I have stared at that same blue sky in Jerusalem, Toronto, London, New York, Chicago, Dallas and LA. And in each of those cities I have made a point of looking up at the night filled sky too.

Changes are coming. I feel it. Those moonlit nights and clear blue skies spoke to me. I think that I have known about these changes for a long time. Can't say exactly what is going to happen or how, I just know that change is coming and this time I think that I just might be ready for it.

Those rules for life I gave work when you let them, so that is what I am trying to do. Don't know if that makes much sense to anyone, but that's ok with me.

Time to try and get some shut eye, an old man like me needs more than three hours. See you in the AM. ;)

April 15, 2009

A Very Cool Birthday Party

I stumbled onto Movies by Kids and thought that it was pretty damn cool. Here is a clip from their website about what they do.

MOVIES BY KIDS is a creative program designed for teaching young students the exciting process of movie making and animation. This unique “Hand’s On” program offers children the opportunity to conceive, write, produce and direct their own, animated movies, live action shorts and special effects segments in one of our in school, after school, summer camp programs.

Too bad that they don't have something for the big kids like me. Wonder if they'd do something special for a 40th birthday party. Hmm....

Johnny and June Together Again

I kind of enjoyed watching the back and forth in this video, reminded me of some people I know.

Kid Friendly Burger King? Don't think so.

I have known for a long time that the Burger King has serious issues. The commercial below just reaffirms that.

Taxday Tea Party Protest

Is it just coincidence that as I began to write this post Fortunate Son started playing on iTunes. It fits my mood because I am angry at the finger pointers from both parties.

Some folks are born made to wave the flag,
Ooh, they're red, white and blue.
And when the band plays hail to the chief,
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, lord,

It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senators son, son.
It ain't me, it ain't me; I ain't no fortunate one, no,

Yeah!
Some folks are born silver spoon in hand,
Lord, dont they help themselves, oh.
But when the taxman comes to the door,
Lord, the house looks like a rummage sale, yes,

I have a long list of things that make me angry. I am angry about government waste. I am angry about the bailout, but let me be clear about my anger. I am angry at all parties. I am angry about the deregulation and lack of oversight that led to this place. I am angry about the cost of covering the huge mistakes and mismanagement of others.

I am angry about the idiotic remarks of those who take advantage of the rights/privileges they are afforded by living here and do not give back. I am angry because the finger pointers waste my time, my energy and my tax dollars by spewing out rhetoric about how bad the other side is.

Listen you ignorant monkeys, you are part of something bigger and greater than yourself. We pay taxes because it provides a government that helps to see that we have a functional infrastructure.

It pays for the roads that are used by truck drivers to deliver food to the groceries stores.
It pays for research for science that is used to find cures for cancer, for Parkinsons and other terminal illnesses.
It pays for a military that protects us from those who would harm us, be they pirates or others.
It pays so that our children can receive an education.

Damn, it wears me out reading so much garbage across the net. The blithering idiots who tell us that socialism is bad. Do you even understand what it is. Do you know what you are talking about or are you just repeating the crap that someone else spoon fed you.

The buffoons who are naive enough to believe that all people will be nice. George Will provides a good example in his latest column in Newsweek.

"The current president's U.N. ambassador, Susan Rice, was on Sunday television recently explaining why she thinks Iran, now several decades into its pursuit of nuclear weapons and close to consummation, might succumb to the siren song of sweet reason and retreat from success. Doing so, she said, would enable Iran "to be a responsible member of the international community"—perhaps not the highest priority for a regime that denies the Holocaust happened, and vows to complete it—and "enter the community of nations." Otherwise Iran will face "the full force of the international community."
Rice really thinks there is a community out there. To believe that is to believe, as liberals do, that harmony is humanity's natural condition, so discord is a remediable defect in arrangements."

I became an independent because I grew disenchanted with the labels and the "restrictions" that came with them. My issue is not with liberals or conservatives. My issue is with those that are so partisan they are unable to work with the other side. Their sole goal is to do whatever they can to thwart the other.

That is detrimental to all of us. So you'll understand if I am less than enamored by the tea party protests. All that noise, we'll see if they actually manage to do more than shout out cute slogans.

April 14, 2009

The Best Clothing You'll Ever Own

The hard working team here at The Shack is constantly in search of products that you can use to make your life easier. Every day without fail our crack team scours the world to locate that one item that will add value to your day and improve the quality of your life.

Many of you may remember the pure joy and pleasure that my favorite towel has brought me.

Have I ever told you how relaxing it is to wear it. My entire being is filled with a sense of peace and harmony.

And have I mentioned how durable it is.

Hundreds of washes later it is as soft as ever and that is saying something, it is not easy being green.

It is indeed a quality product.

I don't want to break my arm patting myself on the back, but I have a keen eye for fashion. And it is that keen eye that is responsible for locating the next item that I am about to show you.

In laymen's terms we call it a wearable sleeping bag, far superior to that Snuggie rag.

But in reality it is an exceptional outfit that you can wear for business or casual events. It is highly functional and provides extreme utility. If you are one of the poor shlubs who is forced to live in a colder climate this is the kind of clothing you need.

Known as the Lippi Selk Bag it is available in a variety of colors and will keep you warm in semi-frigid temperatures. Please note the helpful safety tip from the FAQs:

What About Going To The Toilet? Is There A Fly?No. When visiting the toliet the Selk'Bag should be unzipped and pulled down.

Since I know that not everyone reads everything twice let me reiterate the importance of unzipping your bag prior to relieving yourself. The last thing that you want to do is have to deal with the humiliation of explaining to your mom or dry cleaner that you forgot how to use a zipper.

For those who have missed out on past reviews of useful products here is a list of links that you might find to be useful.

The Jumpsnap

How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs

The Cubicle Celebrates 40 Years

How Velcro Was Invented

My New Desk- I Have To Get One

London Restaurant Tries To Solve Gas Crisis

Who Wants To Buy An Artificial Foreskin

Untapped Sources of Energy

The Mangroomer

Business Cards That Will Get You Business

Medical Technology- The future is now

Inventions You have Got T0 Have (Includes the ladies urinal, toilet forehead support system and much more.)

The Nose Pouch

How Much Would it Cost To Build The Death Star

Columbine: Ten Years Later

USA Today has an interesting retrospective about the terrible school shooting at Columbine High School.

In the aftermath I have heard any number of explanations for why these two monsters acted as they did. A number of them suggested that bullying might have been among the primary reasons for their actions.

That has always troubled me. I don't pretend to have a degree in psychology or to be any sort of expert in the field of mental health. I can understand to an extent how if someone was being bullied that they might want to strike back at the person(s) who were doing this. But this goes far beyond that.

Take a look at this excerpt from the article:

What's now beyond dispute — largely from the killers' journals, which have been released over the past few years, is this: Harris and Klebold killed 13 and wounded 24, but they had hoped to kill thousands.

The pair planned the attacks for more than a year, building 100 bombs and persuading friends to buy them guns. Just after 11 a.m. on April 20, they lugged a pair of duffel bags containing propane-tank bombs into Columbine's crowded cafeteria and another into the kitchen, then stepped outside and waited.

Had the bombs exploded, they'd have killed virtually everyone eating lunch and brought the school's second-story library down atop the cafeteria, police say. Armed with a pistol, a rifle and two sawed-off shotguns, the pair planned to pick off survivors fleeing the carnage.

As a last terrorist act, a pair of gasoline bombs planted in Harris' Honda and Klebold's BMW had been rigged apparently to kill police, rescue teams, journalists and parents who rushed to the school — long after the pair expected they would be dead.

The pair had parked the cars about 100 yards apart in the student lot. The bombs didn't go off.

Read a bit further on and you see that money limited their ability to murder. A lack of finances helped to save lives.

But if we go back to the subject of bullying what bothers me is that I have a hard time accepting that bullying pushed them so far over the edge that they would be willing to murder so many who had nothing to do with them.

They were sick individuals who took a cowards way out and by that I refer to all of their actions that day, from start to finish.

The mobile blogging experiment has begun. I registered my BB so that I can post via SMS. Not sure yet if this has any utility as I could do this via Twitter.

Crazy Texans

I know a thing or two about dealing with Crazy Texans. Sometimes you just have to nod your head and ignore the nonsense they are spewing. Give them a few minutes and they just might come back to their senses.

Tuesday Tunes

I Was Made To Love Her- Stevie Wonder
"Ain't no Mountain High Enough"-MARVIN GAYE & TAMMI TERRELL
You're All I Need To Get By-MARVIN GAYE & TAMMI TERRELL
Annie´s Song- John Denver
Always On My Mind- Willie Nelson
In The Ghetto- Elvis Presley
Ring of Fire- Johnny Cash
Secret Garden- Bruce Springsteen
I'm On Fire- Bruce Springsteen
Tougher Than The Rest- Bruce Springsteen

Pirates Hijack Two More Ships

CNN is reporting that Somali pirates have hijacked two more ships.

(CNN) -- Pirates off the coast of Somalia seized two freighters Tuesday, proving they remain a force to contend with just days after the U.S. Navy dramatically rescued an American captain held by other pirates.

First, pirates in the Gulf of Aden on Tuesday hijacked the MV Irene EM, a 35,000-ton Greek-owned bulk carrier, according to a NATO spokesman and the European Union's Maritime Security Center.
The crew of the Greek carrier was thought to be unhurt and ships have been warned to stay clear of the area for fear of further attack, the Security Center said.

Later Tuesday, pirates on four skiffs seized the 5,000-ton MV Sea Horse, a Lebanese-owned and Togo-flagged vessel, said Cmdr. Chris Davies of NATO's Maritime Component Command Headquarters in Northwood, England.

Details about the ship and its crew weren't immediately available.

NATO has an ongoing anti-piracy mission off Somalia called Operation Allied Protector. The mission involves four ships covering more than a million square miles, Davies said.

A U.S.-led international naval task force, Combined Task Force-151, is also patrolling in the region.

It is time to stop paying ransoms in a currency other than bullets and missiles. Otherwise you do nothing but encourage these men to continue to engage in piracy. A stern message needs to be sent sooner, rather than later.

Saudis Ban Lewd Number Plates

It is ok in Saudi Arabia for men to marry children but against the law to have a lewd license plate.

Saudi Arabia has banned vehicle number plates which are seen as "offensive" in English when Arabic letters are given in the Latin alphabet, reports say.

Saudi newspaper al-Watan said the banned words included "sex" and "ass", but the list was topped by "USA".

Next thing you know they'll try to claim that cleveland is a nice place to live and has great sports teams.

April 13, 2009

My Beard

The tool I use to trim my beard has died and my beard has gotten to be quite unruly. The thing is getting thicker and longer by the day and I find myself beginning to be irritated by it.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments when I really like it. There are times when it is kind of fun. As I have said many times dressed up in a suit and fedora I become Jack the rabbi. Or dressed up in torn jeans and a leather jacket I am more like Biker Jack.

But I find myself growing tired of it. The little things are beginning to irritate me. So I need to make a decision about whether I wish to just get it trimmed or if I should shave it all off.

All this reminds me that I had intended to write a post about Counting the Omer and the practices surrounding it, but I forgot.

Motown does Fiddler on The Roof

The Temptations

A Japanese version of Fiddler on the Roof. That link has been used here more than once, but it is worth posting again.

Chubby Checker does Hava Nagila.

Pirates Vow to Kill Sailors

The story about the American Sailor who was rescued from the Somalian pirates had a happy ending for the captain but generated a strong response from a couple of pirates.

"MANAMA, Bahrain (CNN) -- U.S. Navy snipers fatally shot three pirates holding an American cargo-ship captain hostage after seeing that one of the pirates "had an AK-47 leveled at the captain's back," a military official said Sunday.

The captain, who'd been held in a lifeboat in the Indian Ocean since Wednesday, was rescued uninjured, Navy Vice Adm. Bill Gortney told reporters.

Capt. Richard Phillips' ship, the Maersk Alabama, was stormed by pirates 350 miles off Somalia on Wednesday morning. He was "resting comfortably" on the USS Boxer after his rescue Sunday night, according to the Navy."

The deaths of these pirates followed the deaths of other pirates who were killed in a rescue operation mounted by the French. These actions angered two pirates who have vowed to kill American/French sailors. (Am I the only one rolling my eyes about two pirates.)

The military actions angered Ali Nur, a pirate who is based in Gara'ad, a coastal village in the semi-autonomous region of Puntland, in northern Somalia.

"From now on, after the killings by the U.S. and France, we will add some harsher steps in our dealings with hostages, particularly American and French hostages," Nur told a journalist.

Big talk from a pissant who is safely ensconced in a little hole. He and his fellows are working hard towards convincing the world to do something about piracy off the coast of Somalia. I don't necessarily expect that we'll see warships routinely providing an escort, but we will see ships that are better equipped for defense.

The end result will be more dead pirates and rightly so.

Joe The Plumber Meet Tom The Butcher

Been thinking that Joe The Plumber could use a good partner. That is why I am considering a new career as Tom The Butcher.

I actually wanted to be Sam, but figured that too many people would make cracks about Alice or the Brady clan so I scrapped that idea. Besides there is always another Paige that I can use to find a Juliet.

Anyway, I think that two men, one with a monkey wrench and the other with a meat cleaver can be pretty influential. Of course use those instruments in the wrong way and you could influence yourself right into jail, but that is not going to happen.

And now if you'll excuse me I am off to call Joe, there is a lot of work to do.

April 12, 2009

Life Changing Decisions

Do you remember the old coffee pots where you got to see the coffee percolate. You know, a percolator where when the coffee grew hot enough you'd get to see it spurt up into a clear top. I used to love watching that thing. There was something cool about seeing the coffee shoot up like that.

Sometimes that is how it feels when I am trying to write. These ideas percolate inside my melon and then bam! They just shoot up. Every now and then they turn into something really cool, but most of the time they end up as fragments of thought. I suppose that if I had the time I could really follow up on them.

In this particular post I was going to go with a bit about The Phantom Tollbooth and tie it in to the theme of the posts about life changing decisions. But then I remembered that they're making a movie out of one of my favorite books, Where The Wild Things Are.

Take a look at this clip and maybe it will help describe the thoughts in my head and why I feel like Max.

Incidentally the song in the trailer is Wake Up by Arcade Fire. Anyway, I watch that trailer and it is easy for me to relate. I feel a bit like a kid in a suit running through the woods, or sailing alone across the ocean. Don't ask me if I am running away or to something, I haven't quite figured that out yet.

Ok, that is not totally true, I have a pretty good idea of what is going on and where I am heading. I have a goal and I have a plan for acheiving that goal. The problem is that my plan feels a bit like the memory of a dream I had this morning. When I first woke up it was really clear, but the more time that passes the harder it is to remember the details.

Maybe it would be better to describe it as being a quest in which I load up my horse with the supplies that I think I will need and an idea of the general direction I need to go in. It is not quite the Wizard of Oz, at least as far as I know there is no Wizard or Emerald City to rely on. Even better as far as I know no wicked witch or flying monkeys to worry about either.

Thus far this has been pretty vague and that is intentional. No reason or need to get too specific about what kinds of decisions I am on the verge of making. To a certain extent they are universal. The choices that I make are going to have a very big impact on the future and that is something that I am far more conscious of now than I have ever been.

It is exciting and frightening. I am optimistic about it all. My gut tells me that it is all going to work out because I am going to make it work. I expect that along the way there are going to be the usual share of rough moments and a solid dose of the really cool ones too.

Whenever I get nervous about it I take a moment to think about all of the experiences I have had thus far. And when I consider them all I can't help but feel good. One of the benefits of turning 40 is having accumulated a certain amount of life experience. I think that it is an advantage. I have been incredibly successful and I have failed. I have loved and been loved. I have had my heart broken more than once.

And through it all I managed to come out the other side. Because I am superstitious I'll temper this. I'll say that I think there are some experiences that forever change you, some positively and some negatively. I'll say that life has proven more than once that it can smack the crap out of you in ways that you would never imagine.

But in the end, I still come back to believing that I am going to succeed. I am going to get what I set out for. One way or another.

If you Were Dying Would You Paint the Kitchen

That is a question I hope to never have to answer, but some people don't have those options. Be thankful for what you have.

Haveil Havalim #212

The latest edition of the weekly Jewish/Israeli blog carnival Haveil Havalim is now live. Go check out:

Haveil Havalim #212: How Many Days til We Can Eat Bread?

Crocodiles Eat People Too

I don't think that I have ever been so drunk that I thought that I was invincible. Being eaten alive is on my list of things that frighten me. In fact it is within the top three.

Those of you who know me are aware that while I may have my own streak of crazy, there are simple rules. For example while I would prefer not to fight a Great White Shark in the ocean, I'd give it a go on land.

And though I'd prefer not to fight a croc, if I had a choice I'd meet it on land as well. The point being that I do my best to stack the odds in my favor.

"Northern Territory police have found the remains of the man who was attacked and killed by a crocodile yesterday near the Daly River community, 150 kilometres south of Darwin.

Early yesterday morning the 20-year-old man and a friend had been drinking, when they tried to swim across the crocodile-infested waterway near the Daly River community.

A crocodile was seen near the pair when the man disappeared.

Police set up an exclusion zone on the river as part of their search to find him.

This morning that search came to an end when rangers found his remains 80 metres downstream.
A 4.3-metre crocodile is believed to have killed the man and has been destroyed.

Duty Superintendent Jamie Chalker says the missing man was one of two who swam across the river to go and get some alcohol."

April 11, 2009

Warning- The Polar Bear Will Eat You

I want to assume that this woman was mentally ill, but who knows.

BERLIN, Germany (CNN) -- A polar bear attacked a woman at Berlin Zoo Friday afternoon after she climbed a fence and jumped into its habitat during feeding time, police said Saturday.

One adult polar bit her several times after she plunged into the moat, police said.

Zoo workers tossed rescue rings toward the woman to hoist her out and distract polar bears swimming nearby, said Goerg Gebhard, a Berlin police officer.

"They saved her life," Gebhard told CNN.

Almost 40- A New Beginning

A while back I was driving along Mulholland when I saw a deer walking along the side of the road. It is not the first deer that I have seen there and I don't think it will be the last, but it made me pull over to the side of the road.

It wasn't too far away from a place that once upon a time served as a rendezvous for a high school girlfriend. It was a place where you could park your car and enjoy the view. It was daytime and the sky was bright blue and for just a moment it was just me and the deer.

On the side of the road I stopped and watched as that deer just ambled along, oblivious or at least unconcerned by my presence it paid no attention to me. Off to the right there was a great view of the Valley. Uncluttered by clouds I could see the mountains in the distance and so for a moment I stopped and stared.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about turning forty. It sounds awfully old to me. But when I think about myself I don't feel old enough to be forty. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I am surprised to see the face that is looking back at me.

At the moment I have a very thick and unruly beard. I haven't trimmed or shaped it in quite some time. The beard makes a good prop/disguise. If I wear a black suit and a Borsalino I look like a million other guys walking to shul. But in a pair of torn jeans, a dirty t-shirt and dirty hands I look like someone entirely different.

Sitting in the car I thought about those days in high school when we'd park the car. Sometimes I'd stare out the window and say nothing. She'd ask me what I was thinking about and I'd flash a smile and remain silent. Come to think of it, twenty years later that really hasn't changed. I usually share my thoughts on my terms and no one else. Makes for interesting times, not why I do it, just who I am.

The deer stops to sniff or nibble on a leaf and I think about that kid who would sit in the car. The future seemed endless to him. He couldn't envision a time where life would be as complicated as it is today. The beauty of innocence about some things has been lost, Pandora's box torn wide open.

Inside the car I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun shining through the windows. I thought about driving to the beach. The thought of warm sand beneath my feet and the sound of the surf pounding the shore was intriguing.

Been a long time since I have been sailing. Been a long time since I have been out on the ocean. Thought quite a bit about it. It was quite pleasant.

I looked up and the deer was moving and I started thinking about where it lived. Had to be somewhere in the hills. Somewhere in the middle of civilization the deer and all sorts of other wildlife were just living their lives. I thought that was kind of cool.

It has been clear to me for a while that I have been stuck in a bit of a rut. I know more or less what I want, but I have been chasing my tail and not my tale. About time that I mix things up a bit. I am really good at slamming into the wall time and time again, but it doesn't always bring about the result you seek.

So I decided that forty is a good time for a new beginning. Still young enough to write a million new chapters in my book. Still young enough to seek out new adventures and to overcome the challenges that I currently face.

I know, it sounds a bit ridiculous and over the top. But I think in graphic terms. So I am doing the best that I can to take control of those things that I can and to let go of that I which I cannot. Change really doesn't have to be bad, it can be great. Sometimes you say goodbye so that you can say hello again.

A series of honks made me realize that I had closed my eyes again. When I looked up the deer was gone. I couldn't begin to tell you quite where he/she had gotten to, just that the place that it had occupied was now empty.

So I started the car, signaled and pulled back onto the road. I felt a little tingle go down my body. Life was beginning again. For the first time in a while I felt that future that I used to remember. For the first time in a long time I could see opportunity.

Who knows if that was a fleeting moment or the real thing. I don't really care. I just appreciated the moment.

Stay Tuned- New Posts Coming Tonight

Working on a few things- should have some new posts up shortly.

April 10, 2009

John Wooden on Success

Not unlike so many others I am a fan of Coach Wooden.

Three Predictions about Iran & The Math To Support it

Questions and Answers

It is a bit after midnight on Thursday evening and I am trying hard to unwind. It has been quite a week. If you asked me to explain I'd say Consonance and Dissonance. I'd say that at moments I have felt as if everything is about to fall into place and there have been times when I have been certain that I am about to go over the precipice, hurtling ass over elbow into the abyss.

It is an interesting dichotomy, this feeling of complete control and a lack thereof. If I had to attribute anything to it I'd say that I have been forced to accept that I don't have control of some things. Now it is a matter of faith and that is something that is hard for me to do. To just let go and say that you'll see what happens isn't easy, but sometimes it is what you have to do.

When I was a child I thought that every adult was happy. From my perspective I saw people who didn't have to go to school, who had money to buy whatever they wanted and could stay up as late as they wanted to. And let's not forget that no one told them what to do, they were grownups and had a life a million times better than my own.

That is not to say that I had a bad childhood, I didn't. It was good. We were a happy middle class family. I have many good memories. But like I said as a child I had my ideas of what life would be like and how it all would be.

Now I look back at the past six years or so and I see an enormous amount of change in myself. In so many ways I am the Jack that I have always been and in others I am very different. Change has always been something that I have been slow to accept. It has always been easier for me to go at my pace and then just ease into things.

But if I stop and really think about it, if I elimate the cacophony of the chaos around me I realize that many of the changes have been good. So many of them have helped to make life better. In short it is a long winded way of saying that I am very clear on what it is that I want and what it is that I need.

The bigger issues are those that surround how to get to the place I have been searching for. It took a long time to identify those things and I am a bit uncertain about how to make them happen. This is one of those times where I shake my head and think about how sometimes life feels a bit backwards.

At twenty five I was completely unencumbered. The future was wide open and I could envision myself doing anything. Fifteen years later I can't look at it from a completely selfish perspective. Now I have to account for other people. Now I have to consider what sort of impact the decisions I make will have.

So this brings me to the point where I mention that my son and I had a discussion about life and change. I told him many things, but for now I'll only share two with you.

1) I told him that I wanted to really work hard in school and to work extra hard in math.
2) I told him that change wasn't something that we had to fear and that if we learn how to go along and get along we'll all be much happier.

He nodded his head and told me that he would try and that made me very happy because all we can do is try. As I said on Twitter I would rather try and fail than to never try at all. And then because it tied in with our discussion I brought up Moshe and how he too had tried and failed.

How is that for a segue into talking about the seder.

A family gathering is an experience that I can't adequately explain. There is noise, there is chaos, there is confusion and all sorts of other fun stuff. There are stories about the painter with the wooden leg, the handyman who lived in the shed and other shared memories about those who aren't around anymore.

As it worked out my grandmother was hospitalized Sunday night and unfortunately was unable to make it. She'll be 95 next week. More on her in a moment.

I did my best to try and include the children as I knew that their attention spans would only last so long.

The dark haired beauty decided that she only wanted to know if Haman was worse than Pharoah. Her older brother wanted to tell me everything he knew about Pesach, but only in a voice slightly louder than a whisper. My youngest nephew is a week short of three and has an ear infection.

Between his age and the infection he was more than a little squirrely, but what really got him angry was not being able to sing with my kids. It wasn't a matter of his not being allowed to, he just didn't know all of the songs.

My grandfather sat next to me and told me how proud he was of my taking over. In between he told me how much he missed my grandmother and that he couldn't remember her missing a seder. They met when they were 11 and were married at twenty, just a few months until they celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.

At the far end of the table I could see my parents staring at me. A couple of times I heard my mother whisper my name to my father. I saw her smile and I knew that she was proud of me. But this time I realized that I understood the pride in a different sort of way because I feel that same way about my children.

This afternoon I went to visit my grandmother. She is still pretty sharp, but her memory has softened quite a bit. We had a nice visit and talked about many things. I told her that we missed her at the seder and talked about how her great-grandchildren had asked if she could come just for that.

She smiled and took my hand in hers. A moment passed and she laughed and told me that I don't have a hand like a little boy anymore. I smiled back and said that I supposed that she was right.

April 09, 2009

Extreme Sheepherding

April 08, 2009

You Have Been Reported to The Parking Bureau

I have been driving for about 25 years now. During that time I have driven thousands of miles throughout the United States, Canada, Mexico and Israel. Countless hours of driving, not to mention those that I have logged as a passenger.

After all of that time behind the wheel I feel comfortable saying that I agree that society is changing and that courtesy is something that is apparently seen as being optional. Far too often the road is filled with people who do not signal, tailgate, make crazy lane changes and engage in all sorts of other driving buffoonery.

But what has really gotten my goat lately are those jackasses who think that the lines that denote parking spaces are optional, a suggestion of where they might park their car. I know, some of you mugs will claim that you were forced to park like that because of the way that other cars parked.

There is some truth to that. It only takes one car to set off a chain reaction of bad parking jobs. I'll grant that occasionally it is a complete accident.

But not always. Sometimes the person does so intentionally, like the moron with the Texas plates who tried to protect their Mercedes by taking up two spaces. When I see that it reminds me that when I am king I am going to create The Ministry of Parking.

The Ministry of Parking or the Parking Bureau will punish these miscreants. There will be fines and all sorts of other nifty consequences. But since it is unlikely that I am going to made king any time soon I have a Plan B.

Plan B is to purchase a tow truck so that when you make it impossible for us to park we can take action. Take up two spaces and you'll be towed. Park crookedly and you'll be towed. Cut me off and you'll be towed.

Kind of reminds me of a scene from Animal House. I'll include the main selection, but the part I am referring to is Bluto reading off the list of retribution. One of my favorite sections of the movie.

D-Day: War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.
Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough...
[thinks hard]
Bluto: the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go!
[runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: Let’s do it!

Sigh, I suppose that I'll have to leave this all as a dream for now.

iTunes Shuffle

Here is a snapshot of some of the songs that played on iTunes this afternoon.

What Have I Done To Deserve This- Dusty Springfield
You Can Leave Your Hat On- Joe Cocker
Life is beautiful- Nikki Sixx
Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond
Institutionalized-Suicidal Tendencies
Unchain My Heart- Joe Cocker singing- but I listened to the Ray Charles original.
We Can Work It Out- The Beatles
You Got to Hide Your Love Away- The Beatles

April 07, 2009

Lose Weight With The Greatest Exercise Ever

One of the greatest sources of joy we have is our ability to help people. Every day we look for opportunities to help others, which is part of why we created the Useful Information category. And now I am pleased to share with you our latest discovery.

If you spend any time reading the news you know that America and the world at large is suffering from an obesity epidemic. Far too many of us have succumbed to the scourge of a few extra pounds. It is no secret to most of you that carrying some extra weight can cause a number of health issues.

Fortunately we have a solution for you. We have located an amazing piece of exercise equipment that you can use to help you shed those unwanted pounds. My friends, I am pleased to introduce you to the last piece of exercise equipment you are ever going to need to buy, the JumpSnap.

Every time I look at The JumpSnap I shake my head in frustration. Why didn't I come up with the idea of developing a jump rope that comes without the rope. Finally there is a way to look like a jump rope pro without fear of tripping over the rope. No longer will you worry about being the only kid on town who can't do the Double Dutch or crossover like Sugar Ray.

It really is amazing. But the fine folks who developed this amazing device left out one solid piece of advice. An exercise program such as this requires a great diet, which is why I recommend that in conjunction with the JumpSnap you enjoy the Wish Sandwich diet.

For those who have missed out on past reviews of useful products here is a list of links that you might find to be useful.

How to Make Hard Boiled Eggs
What Not to Do-Snakebites
The Cubicle Celebrates 40 Years
How Velcro Was Invented
My New Desk- I Have To Get One
London Restaurant Tries To Solve Gas Crisis
Who Wants To Buy An Artificial Foreskin
Untapped Sources of Energy
The Mangroomer
Business Cards That Will Get You Business
Medical Technology- The future is now
Inventions You have Got T0 Have (Includes the ladies urinal, toilet forehead support system and much more.)
The Nose Pouch
How Much Would it Cost To Build The Death Star

Inappropriate 911 Calls

I don't want to call these people stupid and selfish because that is insulting to stupid and selfish.

Burger King

More Shrimp

The Burger King bit is a retread from here.

MLBF

And now a message from our sponsors.

For more than six years MLBF Enterprises has worked tirelessly to provide you with a daily smile and support. Even in your darkest hour you can count on MLBF to be there, no matter how Schlattered you may be.

In fact you may recall that over the Spaner of the six years there were times when MLBF Enterprises was there to help confront the challenges of the day, be it the Froah Ensemble, Ripper Report or the Ides of Iderland.

Remember, you can only fight destiny for so long and when you finally accept and submit you can be sure that MLBF Enterprises will be right there with you.

As they say, AAF.

Hot Monkey Love- Chimps Put Out for Meat

My apologies to those readers who are offended by the title of this post, but it is based upon science. The following clip helps to document how relations between chimps are conducted.

Come to think of it, maybe we aren't all that different from chimps. Quite a few of the boys took their wives out for a steak dinner on Valentine's day. Maybe we should take notes. ;)

The oldest profession isn't restricted to humans. A new study found that wild chimpanzees exchange meat for sex.

By stealthily following a group of about 20 adult chimpanzees in Côte d’Ivoire's Taï National Park, behavioral ecologists Cristina Gomes and Christophe Boesch of Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Germany carefully noted which male chimpanzees copulated with which females. The researchers found that she-chimps put out more often for males that shared food with them at least once, compared to stingy males who never offered meat.

Apparently, buying dinner is a good way to improve the chances of getting lucky on a date, even if you're a chimp.

The primates' food-for-sex barter occurs indirectly, over the course of weeks or months, with males seeming to accrue credit with the ladies by plying them with meat killed on a hunt.

April 06, 2009

Transitions- Passover Seder

Some of my favorite memories as a young boy are of shaving with my father. I was around five or so and had my own special razor. It was special because it didn't have a blade in it, but I didn't care. Dad would help me lather up and we'd share the mirror and shave together.

Eventually we'd finish and he'd help me clean off the remaining shaving cream and throw on some aftershave. Mom would always compliment me on how good I was at it, how smooth my face was.

I thought about that earlier today. We were at the hospital visiting my grandmother and mom made a comment about how thick my beard is and the lines in my forehead. She is having a harder time accepting my turning 40 than her turning 65. Or maybe it is that it is becoming harder to visualize me as the little boy I once was.

At the moment things with grandma aren't serious and it appears that she'll be out in time to join us for the seder. It is going to be at my house again. It is the second time that I get to run the show.

Last year it wasn't a planned event. The folks had been spent a couple of months in Israel. My dad got sick and was briefly hospitalized and as a result when they came back to the states he had to undergo some treatment on the East Coast.

As a result the seder was moved from my parent's home to mine. It was a big deal to me. While I had always expected that one day I would take over I hadn't ever imagined that it would happen as it did.

This year my mother called to ask if we could do it again and of course we said yes. It is kind of funny, but I am a bit nervous about it. Last year they weren't here to see me lead, but this year they will be. This year my father won't be at the head of the table, I will and it will be my job to run the show.

So it occurs to me that when I think about 40 years of Pesach memories that my children are finally old enough to really remember things. They have already begun talking about last year and are asking what they are going to get to do this year.

Part of me doesn't feel old enough to do this. Part of me says that I can't possibly be that old and part of me is excited to take this on. Inside my mind I am mapping out what I want to do and trying to decide how I want things to run.

At the same time I have so many images running through my skull. So many memories of past sedarim. A mental scrapbook of things that once were. Great-grandparents, my great-grandparents telling their own stories. My great-grandmother saying that she was shikkered (drunk) from the grape juice. My father talking about his grandfather's English and how he always read "herb" without the silent "H."

Earlier today my daughter asked me to tell her who was worse, Haman or Pharoah. And then she wanted to know if they got to eat Matzah Pizza in the desert.

So many thoughts and so many things to consider. What do I want to emphasize. What is most important for the children to get out of this. Some of the adults will be less than patient, so what do I do to keep them interested.

I am struggling to keep this moving forward, so I'll go for the default option and provide some links to past posts about the holiday.

Struggling With Pesach
Passing The Baton- Grandma is 94
Passover- The High Cholesterol Holiday
What is Your Favorite Pesach Memory?
Some Passover Musings
Passover

Around the Web

It is never too late to be circumcised.

Mosques face wrong direction...oops

Not the kind of sink you want for a family bathroom.

Don't show Octomom this picture.

cleveland schools

Canada's Planned Parenthood Ads Suck

April 05, 2009

Regrets- Too Late For Love?

Been a little while since I really did anything with Fragments of Fiction so I figured that it is about time for a new installment. This particular bit is about a writer who is working on a new story.

I do most of my writing alone in the dark. I like it better then because it is quiet and the dark holds endless possibilities. Besides there are fewer interruptions. No telephones ringing, no doorbells dinging and no dogs barking. Ok, maybe a few, but at least at night their owners have the good sense to shut them up.

As it happened Alone in the Dark was the title of my first novel. It wasn't the greatest title or the most original, but I didn't care all that much. I was too excited about actually getting paid to write. Who knew that five years of blogging would lead to getting discovered.

Since then there had been a few other books about this and that. Some writers spent a lot of time doing research for their novels. They'd go and engulf themselves in study about a particular topic. That wasn't for me. I wrote about what I knew.

My stories were almost always based upon my personal experiences, or a variation thereof. Perhaps it is sheer laziness, or maybe it is because the best and worst times of my life left such a deep imprint I had to share the story. Can't say that I have spent too much time thinking about it. Maybe one day someone will do a story about my life and I'll take the time to really consider it.

Anyway, I have been dealing with a little issue called "mama needs a new pair of shoes." It is what I like to call a pseduo-euphemism. A goofy way of saying that the old cash flow was getting a bit thin. So I called my agent and let him know that I was working on something new. Problem was that my something new wasn't really new.

If you want to know what my writing looked like twenty years ago read the lines below.

Twenty years ago I used to wonder about my life. Sometimes I'd stare at the reflection in the mirror and just think about all sorts of crazy stuff.

If the man I used to be were to meet the man I am today what would he say. And if the two of them were to travel together down a road and have the opportunity to meet the man that I will be, what would happen. Would they recognize each other. Would they like what they saw or would they feel contempt for what had been and what would be.

I know, it sounds ridiculous. It sounds like some idiotic, half baked science fiction story. Or maybe it sounds like reality. Maybe it sounds like the kind of story someone who has lost their way would write. At least that is sort of what I hope it sounds like.

If I could I would make it into some sort of movie, or maybe a music video. That might make it easier to understand. But it is not a music video or a movie. There is no Super 8 or video tape to use to record bad actors reciting bad lines from a poorly written screenplay.

Words are all I have to share. Words will have to do. And if it works the way that I want it to you'll see in your mind's eye the story I am telling.

It needs some polish, but I think that I can do something with it. Let me provide a short outline/summary of what I envision. Don't get too involved with the lack of details, because after all this is a brief summary.

It is a love story. A man and a woman meet but they are not looking for love. Over time they develop a very deep and meaningful relationship and they fall head over heels for each other.

Circumstances prevent them from acting upon their feelings and they find themselves in a bit of a bind. She is very much in love with him, but thinks that they might have missed their window so she tries to pull back.

He doesn't quite know what to do with himself. They have agreed that they can't imagine life without each other and that the other is the one that they need to be with, but life is never that simple. And so they find themselves in unfamiliar territory.

So they have a dilemma. If you find the great love of your life what are you willing to do to be with them. Is there really a point at which it is too late for love or can you find a way. Maybe love isn't enough or maybe it is.

And there you have a relatively brief summary of the story I am going to write. Truth is that when I first thought about it I really was hesitant to get into it. The world has one billion love stories, do I really want to be the guy that writes another one.

But two things drove me. One was money. It is low hanging fruit. Most of us have been in love. Most of us have been in a relationship that we desperately wanted to work. This is the type of story that people will get behind.

They'll love it or hate it, but regardless of how they feel, they'll buy it.

That was the first reason that I decided to write it. But it was the second reason that really pushed me into it.

Her. She was responsible. The woman who had broken my heart into so many little fragments. The girl who made me realize that love could be so much more than I had thought. The girl who taught me that kissing wasn't just a means to an end, but something far beyond that.

She was the reason I decided to write it. When she left it felt like someone had stolen the sun from the sky. And now the pathetic man who felt hollow inside was finally ready to confront his pain and make something of it.

But just what remained to be seen.

Running a Background Check on People

Earlier today I was reading through the latest edition of Haveil Havalim when a link on the side of the page caught my eye and I clicked over.

I found myself reading a review of a service that anyone can hire to conduct background checks on people. It never ceases to amaze me just how much information is readily available to people who wish to find it and I can't say that I am happy about it.

It is not that I am trying to hide deep secrets. If someone from my past wants to find me it is really not that hard to do. I am accessible. But there is something disconcerting about just anyone being able to acquire so much information about me.

Call me paranoid, but I am concerned about identity theft and it bothers me to see that it is so easy to acquire this data without having to provide any sort of cause/justification for it.

What do you think? Does it bother you to know that your personal information is accessible to anyone with DSL and a credit card?

A Grab Bag of Posts

Every now and then we like to feature recent and old posts for your review. Here is a collection of odds and ends from the archives.

UN Double Standards
Jack Versus The Hacker
A Little Digestive Distress- Chicken Vindaloo
My Brother- A Lesson in Simple Physics
Inside the Blogger's Studio- A Dream, Er Nightmare
The World's Strongest Penis
Do You Have An Accent
An Alternate Means of Payment
The Worst Album Covers- Ethel Merman Disco Mix

April 04, 2009

Newsweek Lists Top 50 Rabbis Again

We covered the last two times so we might as well hit this one too. Course some of my favorite rabbis aren't on that list.

Haveil Havalim #211 is live

I am pleased to let you know that Haveil Havalim #211: The Preparing for Pesach Edition is up at Ima on (and off) the bima.

Haveil Havalim is the weekly blog carnival of the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere. It serves as an excellent resource that you can use to find out what has been happening within the J-blogosphere during the past week.

A list of past and future hosts can be found here.

April 03, 2009

How Baseball Players Catch Fly Balls

I thought that this was pretty cool. Somewhere my high school algebra teacher is smiling, more proof of math in the real world.

"Years ago, physicist Seville Chapman proposed a model to explain how players manage the path of a fly ball so that they arrive to intercept it at just the right time. His theory, called Optical Acceleration Cancellation (OAC), used the acceleration of the ball through the vision field as a guide for player movement.

As a fielder watches the ball rise, he moves either forward or backwards so that the ball moves at a constant speed through his field of vision. If he moves too far forward, the ball will rise faster and may eventually fly over his head. If he takes too many steps back, the ball will appear to rise slower and will drop in front of him.

By managing the ball's position with his movement, a fielder will end up at the right spot at the right time. This explains why the stationary fielders could not predict where the ball would land, as they did not have the benefit of OAC.If we ask real fielders how they knew where to run to catch a ball, they may not respond with, "Well, I simply adjusted my relative field position to keep the tangent of the vertical optical angle to the ball increasing at a constant rate." So, to test the OAC geometric equations against real life, researchers led by Dinant Kistemaker of the University of Western Ontario, compared the predicted running paths from their mathematical simulation with the real running paths of fielders observed in a previous study.

"We have found that running paths are largely consistent with those observed experimentally," Kistemaker told LiveScience. "Largely, and not completely, because the start of fielders is somewhat strange: They tend to step forward first, irrespective of the fact that they have run either forward or backwards to catch that fly ball."

The research is detailed this month in the journal Human Movement Science."

UN Double Standards

Meryl's post UN on Israeli “war crimes” in Gaza: The fix is in brings to mind an old joke.

Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and an Israeli sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, 'I'm a Texan, so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili.' The leader nodded to an underling who returned with chili. Rather ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'

Katie Couric said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take my tape recorder, then describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someone will hear it and know I was on the job till the end.'

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Couric dictated some comments, then said, 'Now I can die happy.'

The leader turned and said, 'And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?'

'Kick me in the ass,' said the soldier.'

'What?' asked the leader? 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'

'No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Israeli.

So the leader shoved him into the clearing and kicked him in the ass. The soldier was sent sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flack jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the rest of the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the soldier was untying Rather and Couric, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?'

'What?' replied the Israeli, 'And have you two assholes report that I was the aggressor?!'

That's the sort of humor that creates a wry grin because there is a perverse truth to it. If you picked up the paper and read that a senior IDF official sneezed on a Palestinian and was being investigated for war crimes you'd shake your head, but some of you would believe it to be a true story.

Some of you would believe it to be true because you have been conditioned to believe that most Israeli actions are based upon malicious intent. But before some of you accuse this post of being the standard polemic I want to draw your attention elsewhere.

The Guardian has some terribly shocking video and an article that has received far too little media coverage.

Video of girl's flogging as Taliban hand out justice

A video showing a teenage girl being flogged by Taliban fighters has emerged from the Swat Valley in Pakistan, offering a shocking glimpse of militant brutality in the once-peaceful district, and a sign of Taliban influence spreading deeper into the country.

The two-minute video, shot using a mobile phone, shows a burka-clad woman face down on the ground. Two men hold her arms and feet while a third, a black-turbaned fighter with a flowing beard, whips her repeatedly.

"Please stop it," she begs, alternately whimpering or screaming in pain with each blow to the backside. "Either kill me or stop it now."

A crowd of men stands by, watching silently. Off camera a voice issues instructions. "Hold her legs tightly," he says as she squirms and yelps.

After 34 lashes the punishment stops and the wailing woman is led into a stone building, trailed by a Kalashnikov-carrying militant.

Where is the outrage. Where are the hundreds of newspaper stories decrying this action. Where are the editorials demanding justice. How can such a thing take place and receive so little news coverage.
The silence is deafening.

Crossposted on Yourish.

ER- The Series Finale

Fifteen years ago I was a single guy living in my own place. I had a television but no cable so reception was often spotty. I really didn't watch much television. If I did it was usually to watch the Lakers or Dodgers play, or to catch a movie on my VCR.

Occasionally my girlfriend and I would watch this new show called ER. It wasn't bad and over time I found myself drawn to it. I don't think that I have seen every episode. I know that there have been periods of time where I wasn't into it and I either missed the shows or barely paid attention to it.

So I find myself feeling a bit surprised to say that I am kind of sad to see it go. Not totally sure why. Perhaps because it seems a bit like a bridge between now and that time when I had no responsibilities.

When they got it right they really did it well. There were some stories that really captured my attention.

The series finale was good. It was strong. Didn't go out on some sort of wacky tangent. Didn't find myself shaking my head like I did for Life on Mars or Battlestar Galatica.

They didn't tie up every loose end and I appreciate that. Life doesn't always work out exactly as we plan. I really appreciated the ending of the finale because it felt honest.

Goodbye ER, I think that I just might miss you.

April 02, 2009

Flying the Friendly Skies

Once upon a time it really was a case of flying the friendly skies.

(CNN) -- There was a time when airline travel was a special treat, the kind of occasion that inspired passengers to dress up.
Now, the awe people once felt about flying through the clouds is tempered by additional fees, cramped seats and horrifying tales of fellow travelers.

Take, for instance, "Mr. Poopy Pants" -- a grown man who allegedly soiled himself 10 minutes into a flight from Florida to Minnesota. And then he just sat there.

"We've all had our flying hell experiences," said Gregg Rottler, creator of FlightsFromHell.com.
The site provides a venue for people to share their tales of woe, said Rottler. "It's therapeutic ... so it benefits them and provides entertainment value for others."

Rottler, a 54-year-old environmental health supervisor in Tampa, Florida, launched the site more than two years ago. Since then, FlightsFromHell.com has attracted submissions from passengers and flight attendants that have run the gamut, touching on categories that include "odors," "attendant issues," "weird people," and "luggage and delays."

Among the story headlines: "Titanic toddler creates tumult," "Wifey punched by elderly 'sleepwalker,' " and "Lip-locked tousle-haired 20-somethings."

"There's something about being scrunched up with strangers ... The seats aren't that big, and once someone starts going wacko, it just creates an extremely stressful environment that was already stressful enough," Rottler said.

A Small Problem with My Template

In the midst of all of the changes in our commenting system I seem to have screwed my template so that we cannot comment on new posts.

I am busy trying to figure out what I did so that I can restore the comment functionality here. Bear with me and we'll get it sorted out.

A Telephone Bill Scam- Cramming

Until recently cramming was a term that I associated with my time in school. Mention the word and memories of studying all night long for various tests come to mind. Actually there are some pretty good memories tied into cramming, at least there was until today.

That changed because today I found out that I was an unwilling participant in crammingas it relates to your telephone bill.

The FCC offers the following definition:

"Cramming" is the practice of placing unauthorized, misleading, or deceptive charges on your telephone bill. Crammers rely on confusing telephone bills in an attempt to trick consumers into paying for services they did not authorize or receive, or that cost more than the consumer was led to believe."

This morning I noticed a charge of $16.30 on my telephone bill for Enhanced Voicemail Services. It sounded relatively innocuous and I almost paid it, but something about it seemed strange. So I took a moment to review the last three months of telephone bills and discovered that until today it didn't exist.

So I called up Ma Bell and asked her to give me an explanation for why it had suddenly showed up and was told that it wasn't a service provided through them. I had been crammed by a company called Enhanced Services Billing Inc.

Ma Bell explained to me that even though the charge was processed via their bill they could not remove it and that due to some sort of legal chicanery Enhanced Services Billing Inc. was entitled to try and bill me for services I didn't need.

I immediately contacted Enhanced Services Billing Inc. so that I could have the charges removed and spent a solid 35 minutes on hold. Add that stellar customer service to their unauthorized charge and I was entertaining thoughts of waterboarding their entire staff, or at least giving them a good piece of my mind.

The rep who spoke with me must take hundreds of calls like my own. I'll give her credit for doing a good job of calming me down by apologizing while simultaneously taking care of removing the charge. At least, she seemed to be doing that.

I'll still follow up and confirm that the charge was removed and you can be sure that I'll continue to pay attention to all of the line items on future bills. I suggest that you do the same.

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