August 17, 2008

Physically and Emotionally Exhausted- The Blogger Blogs

"She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

1st Chorus

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby"

Whiskey Lullaby-Brad Paisley/Allison Krauss


Just finished listening to some of the songs from Name A Song That Makes You Cry. Whiskey Lullaby has been a favorite of mine for a long time, it just resonates with me. Can't say that I was ever suicidal, but I know what it is to have your heart ripped out.

Been a long and hectic day, not exactly the way that I like to finish my weekend. It was productive, got a lot done, but it wasn't all that pleasant.

I am wound up pretty tight, had to make some very tough decisions today. Reminds me of a recent conversation with my son in which I told him that even when you make a good decision it can be painful. It is one of those funny little things about life, doing the right thing can hurt. Not to mention that sometimes it is really hard to figure out what the right thing is. Life is often not black and white.

So we move on. Heard the theme for Rocky during one the commercials that is running during the Olympics and decided that it was time to go out to the garage and pound on the heavy bag. It felt good to take out my aggressions on it. I started out slowly and developed a rhythm and knocked the crap out of the bag.

Slowly but surely I got lost in the music and the rush of endorphins. I have eclectic taste in music, but usually I try to pick some specific tunes to encourage me, but this time the shuffle threw out an odd combination.

Here is a partial list:

Baby, Now That I've Found You (Live)- Alison Krauss & Union Station
Time to Say Goodbye-Andrea Bocelli & Sarah Brightman
Same Old Lang Syne- Dan Fogelberg
Insomnia (Monster Mix)-Faithless
Breathe- Prodigy
Walk This Way- Aerosmith
Can't Get It Out of My Head-Electric Light Orchestra
What is Love- Haddaway
Mr. Brightside- The Killers
Californication- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Institutionalized- Suicidal Tendencies
Bulls on Parade-Rage Against the Machine
When I am working out on the heavy bag I tend to prefer harder stuff, so some of this was a bit light. Although I should say that sometimes when the mood strikes I'll play the Rocky soundtrack.

As a sort of sidenote, I am a fan of Rocky.

Sometimes I think that one of the real purposes of this blog is to give my children a chance to get to know their father in a different way. I don't really intend for them to read this until they are much older, but there will come a day when they'll get the keys to the castle.

The goal is to try and provide them with some insight into me that they might not get in any other fashion. I suppose that sounds self indulgent, but to me it seems to be of interest. I feel like I know an awful lot about my father. I can tell you all sorts of things, but still there are things about him that remain a mystery.

My hope is that this will help them in some way. Maybe it will help them see that in spite of the difference in age and time, there are similar challenges. Maybe it will be that one thing that helps them avoid some of the mistakes I have made. Who knows.

Stumbled onto an old post and cracked myself up. This may not be funny to anyone else, but it kills me.

WHEN A BULL whale comes at you with an erect penis, it’s nine feet long,” said Gregory Colbert, aiming a fork at his Caesar salad. “It’s like a torpedo. And you’d better get out of the way, fast.”

I nodded appreciatively, as though there were a realistic chance that, at some point in the near future, I might indeed find myself in the company of a bedroom-minded bull whale — and that Colbert’s advice on the measurement and potential destructiveness of the creature’s whalehood might save my life.

“But an adolescent male sperm whale is the worst,” Colbert continued. “He weighs between 15 and 18 tons. You’re basically the size of a piece of sushi to him. The worst thing you can do is panic. He’ll see your chest moving up and down and think to himself, ‘Hey, this guy’s afraid of me; that means he must be lunch’.”
Good thing that I don't suffer from penis envy. Aside from that, there is something funny to me about Colbert's comment about the sperm whale. Assuming that the whale is capable of reason and logic, do you really think that something that much bigger than us gives any thought to whether we are afraid.

We move on.

My old computer died. It was an unexpected death and the timing was quite bad. I have spent hours and hours trying to recover files and move them to the new computer. I have decided that I definitely am not a fan of Vista. I don't hate it, but it is not what it could be.

Than again the exhaustion I feel may have a little to do with the feelings of frustration.

I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up the Jblogger conference. If you haven't registered there is still time to do so. You can do so by using the link at the First International Jewish Bloggers Conference.

I'd write more but it seems that suddenly I am being paged. So I'll leave you with some links to old posts that I had intended to work into this.

Too Many Sequels
My Son's First Day of School
How I Write

See you later.

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