- Veterans Day - November 11
- Amazon- A Terrible Lapse In Judgment
- My First Dream Car
- Things That Irritate Me
- The Road Warrior Returns
- Two kids and a dog- A Father Speaks
The Best Clothing You'll Ever Own
How To Get More Readers For Your Blog
Children, Amazon. Cars and Veteran's Day
The Best Clothing You'll Ever Own
How To Get More Readers For Your Blog
Veterans Day - November 11
via www1.va.gov
Today is Veteran's Day. It is easy for those of us fortunate to be living now to forget that freedom isn't free. That is not a campaign slogan or something that should be ignored. There are men and women who died for us. Thousands who made enormous sacrifices so that we could live in a country that is free.
It is to honor veterans of all wars, those that are ongoing today and those of the past. They deserve our gratitude as do their families for they bear the brunt of the weight.
Amazon- A Terrible Lapse In Judgment
Dear Amazon,
It is your old friend Jack. You know me as the guy that uses you to purchase books, coffee, toys, music, movies and more. You want a million customers like me. We may not spend much but we're reliable. We make our purchases on a regular basis and we aren't limited to one product line.
I don't complain or make any sort of trouble for you. I spend the few bucks that I have budgeted for you and go about my business. But don't let that fool you into thinking that I am not aware of the unsavory side of your business. I know stories and have heard more than one person complain about your inventory and how particular items might be questionable.
Most of the time I shrug my shoulders because you aren't going to please everyone all of the time but in this case I cannot. You know the one, the time you thought that it was ok to sell a guide to pedophilia. It makes my skin crawl to type that. It hurts my head to think that someone might end up here because of a keyword search for those few words that I refuse to type again.
I am a father. A parent who is responsible for the safety and well being of children. Some of have accused me of exaggerating when I say that the boys who try to date my daughter will view me as death incarnate. They say that it is silly to exaggerate like that or accuse me of melodrama but they won't in this case.
No one will tell me that I am wrong to call you out and say that it is mind boggling to suggest that this disgusting and heinous guide shouldn't have been pulled down immediately. Some people have suggested that you didn't do so because there is no such thing as bad P.R. Some said that perhaps someone should kick Jeff Bezos in the balls...repeatedly to see if that gets his attention.
Look I don't have any misconceptions here. I worry about pedophiles but I don't see them as being the biggest threat to my children. Nor do I believe that this book will convince people that it is ok for a man to have sex with children. Not going to happen.
But that doesn't negate your shameful behavior. It doesn't remove the stain on your reputation or the hurt. It is not something that words are going to cure. Nor will a significant financial contribution to a reputable charity fix this. It just won't but again that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it because you should.
What you need to do is work on regaining and rebuilding trust. Tell us how you are going to fix this problem so that it doesn't happen again. Tell us how you are going to establish processes that are going to ensure that this sort of thing cannot happen again.
Because we aren't going to forget. We are parents who care and who watch. We are active and vigilant and it doesn't require motivation to stand guard over our children.
Amazon, you really disappointed us and words just don't suffice.
It is your old friend Jack. You know me as the guy that uses you to purchase books, coffee, toys, music, movies and more. You want a million customers like me. We may not spend much but we're reliable. We make our purchases on a regular basis and we aren't limited to one product line.
I don't complain or make any sort of trouble for you. I spend the few bucks that I have budgeted for you and go about my business. But don't let that fool you into thinking that I am not aware of the unsavory side of your business. I know stories and have heard more than one person complain about your inventory and how particular items might be questionable.
Most of the time I shrug my shoulders because you aren't going to please everyone all of the time but in this case I cannot. You know the one, the time you thought that it was ok to sell a guide to pedophilia. It makes my skin crawl to type that. It hurts my head to think that someone might end up here because of a keyword search for those few words that I refuse to type again.
I am a father. A parent who is responsible for the safety and well being of children. Some of have accused me of exaggerating when I say that the boys who try to date my daughter will view me as death incarnate. They say that it is silly to exaggerate like that or accuse me of melodrama but they won't in this case.
No one will tell me that I am wrong to call you out and say that it is mind boggling to suggest that this disgusting and heinous guide shouldn't have been pulled down immediately. Some people have suggested that you didn't do so because there is no such thing as bad P.R. Some said that perhaps someone should kick Jeff Bezos in the balls...repeatedly to see if that gets his attention.
Look I don't have any misconceptions here. I worry about pedophiles but I don't see them as being the biggest threat to my children. Nor do I believe that this book will convince people that it is ok for a man to have sex with children. Not going to happen.
But that doesn't negate your shameful behavior. It doesn't remove the stain on your reputation or the hurt. It is not something that words are going to cure. Nor will a significant financial contribution to a reputable charity fix this. It just won't but again that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it because you should.
What you need to do is work on regaining and rebuilding trust. Tell us how you are going to fix this problem so that it doesn't happen again. Tell us how you are going to establish processes that are going to ensure that this sort of thing cannot happen again.
Because we aren't going to forget. We are parents who care and who watch. We are active and vigilant and it doesn't require motivation to stand guard over our children.
Amazon, you really disappointed us and words just don't suffice.
My First Dream Car
Why can't I drive the Mach V
? I mean look at that car. It is awesome. Take a glance at the abridged version of the specs:
? I mean look at that car. It is awesome. Take a glance at the abridged version of the specs: The hub of the Mach 5’s steering
wheel features seven lettered buttons, each of which activates a customized accessory designed by Pops Racer.
Control A: “Releases powerful jacks to boost the car so that Sparky, our mechanic, can quickly make any necessary repairs or adjustments.” Although designed for this practical function, the auto jacks have also been used to “leap” the car short distances at high speeds, as a wedge to prevent the car from toppling over a waterfall, as an alternative braking systems, and as a tool to crush cars in a car-wrestling match.
Control B: Sprouts special grip tires for traction over any kind of terrain. At the same time, 5,000 horsepower is distributed equally to each wheel by auxiliary engines.” Definition of “any kind of terrain”: firm, icy, or unsteady ground; ocean floor; vertical mountainsides.
Control C: “For use traveling over heavily wooded terrain. Powerful rotary saws protrude from the front of the Mach 5 to slash and cut any and all obstacles.” The rotary saws have also been used as a means of self-defense.
Control D: “Releases a powerful deflector which seals the cockpit into an air-conditioned, bullet- and crash-proof, and water-tight chamber. Inside it, I am completely isolated and shielded.” The deflector also protects against sleeping gas.
Control E: “The control for special illumination which can be traversed singly or in tandem, and which enables me to see much farther and more clearly than with ordinary headlights. It’s invaluable in some weird and dangerous places that I race the Mach 5.” When used with the “night shades” attached to Speed’s helmet, his vision is enhanced with infrared light.
Control F: “Used when the Mach 5 is under water. First, the cockpit is supplied with oxygen. Then, a periscope is raised to scan the surface of the water. Everything that is seen is relayed down to me by television.” The 100-pound auxiliary supply of oxygen is enough to last for thirty minutes.
Control G: “Releases a homing robot from the front of the car. The homing robot can carry pictures or tape recorded messages to whomever or whenever I want to send them.” The robot also can carry handwritten messages, X-ray film, rope, and small Egyptian statues, and it has been used as a means of defense. The bird-like device is operated by a built-in remote control within the cockpit. A separate button sends the robot “home.”
Things That Irritate Me
Apparently I am doing an excellent job of becoming a ripe old bastard, a curmudgeon of the finest order. I know this because of the growing list of things that irritate the hell out of me. You may consider this a work in progress.
- I hate The Sound of Music. It grinds on my nerves.
- Names that rhyme with Artie. Sorry if that includes you, but you can blame your parents.
- People that know that I am Jewish and ask me if I miss Christmas. Never had it, don't need it, want it or miss it. I don't ask them if they miss fasting on Yom Kippur.
- Jughandles- The state of New Jersey needs to dedicate some serious time and money on correcting that problem.
- The D.H.
- Drivers who don't signal before they turn.
- Drivers who never turn their turn signals off.
- Drivers who force the rest of to listen to their music. I hate that thumping bass, one day I am going to invent a car stereo jammer and that will fix it.
- People who flush the toilet/urinal with their feet. Listen jackass, I know that you are concerned about germs, but you're not helping the problem.
- Brussel Sprouts- It is a foul vegetable.
- Cats- Damn animals are obnoxious. World would be better if they were all throw rugs.
- The French tourist who complained that he couldn't understand me. Listen Frenchy, you are in Los Angeles. I am not supposed to be able to speak perfect French. If I come to Paris you can be certain I won't complain that you don't speak English.
- The Celtics and The Pistons. (Cavs aren't included because they haven't done anything ever. Sorry Ezzie.)
- The Patriots and Boston Fans who think that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback ever. He is not and it is unlikely that he ever will be.
- Bloggers that think that is cool to wRiTe LiKe ThIs.
- People who send emails in ALL CAPS. Work with me people, it is 2009. Email is not new anymore.
- You can add grown ups who send emails that read something like What R U Doing? Spell it out. It doesn't take any longer and you won't look like a complete idiot.
- People who think that the world starts and finishes in Manhattan.
- Vista is bad, but so is listening to the cult of Apple Fanatics. WTF do they put in those units to make you act this way. I sometimes wonder if they secretly inject you with heroin or some sort of stupid pill.
- People who blame one political party for the ills of the world. That covers both sides. Not interested in listening to how the Democrats/Republicans are why things are bad.
- People who try to say that the point is mute. There is no sound involved in this, it is moot dammit.
- Airline passengers who think it is ok to smash everything in the overhead compartment so that they can force their bag inside.
- Airlines that charge you for a pillow and a blanket.
- People who tell me that spelling doesn't matter because I know what they meant. Sorry, you have a spell checker and I'm not willing to be haunted by old English teachers.
- Bullies in real life and online.
- Justin Bieber- sorry dude, you just do.
- People who pepper their conversations with whatever they think is cool to say. If you don't use it in regular conversation I don't want to hear it. "Are you feeling me dawg."
- "Older people" who try to sound young by using "young lingo." I'm not thrilled with all that comes with aging, but it is not all bad and better than dying. Just don't do it.
- Gimmick bloggers who use M&Ms as currency. That is just silly man, but if it works....
- Colds. This coughing and sneezing thing sucks.
- MySpace- enough said.
- Boys that try to date my daughter. Granted it hasn't happened yet but it will and I won't like you. Deal with it.
- Holiday music. It is overbearing, oppressive and bad.
The Road Warrior Returns
I hate flying. Ok, hate is a strong word but I really dislike it. And since writing is one of the best tools I have for venting and blowing off steam this blog sort of resembles a chocolate chip cookie in which the blog is the cookie and the posts about flying represent the chips. If the Shmata Queen wasn't on hiatus I'd write about how I am a better baker than she is but what's the point- she knows that anyway. Got a ketchup sandwich for you dear.
This most recent trip was a turnaround and I am feeling a little beat. Left LAX at 10:30 on Monday night and arrived in Dulles yesterday morning at 6:30. Hopped a shuttle to the hotel and then made like Clark Kent changing into Superman in the bathroom. Moments later I did my share to keep Starbucks in business and I was ready to roll.
By 8:30 I was sitting in the conference room bright eyed and bushy tailed for a 9 A.M. meeting. Ok, that is not entirely true- I was there but I felt like hell. Felt like hell because the travel gods punished me by providing me with the gift of sniffles and a snore throat. It started the night before and progressively got worse.
I rarely get sick and was none too happy to realize three hours before my flight that the body was fighting some bug. This meeting was too important to cancel so I got some OTC cold drugs, Vitamin C, Zinc and a healthy dose of meditation to get me through.
You won't be surprised to learn that on the flight out there I was thrilled to have an entire row to myself. I turned on the iPod, closed my eyes and did my best to sleep.
Home-Michael Bublé
Gentle Annie- Tommy Makem & Liam Clancy
Honor (Main Title Theme from "The Pacific")- Hans Zimmer
Always On My Mind-Johnny Cash & Willie Nelson
Calling You- Blue October
America-Simon & Garfunkel
A Pirate Looks At Forty-Jimmy Buffett
Praan-Garry Schyman
Superman- R.E.M.
I Was Wrong- Social Distortion
99 To Life- Social Distortion
Can't tell you how long I slept for only that I did and that it was a good thing that I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror as my hair was pretty funky. I remember brushing my hair and thinking about how in some way my professional life has been far more similar to both of my grandfathers than my own father. But, they traveled by car and not by plane. Not sure if they could have ever imagined flying across the country for a meeting.
Granted, it is not that unusual. I have many friends who have done this but still if you go to the trouble of flying three thousand miles it makes more sense to stay for a few days and build several meetings around your trip. My children certainly don't appreciate how amazing it is to do the things that we do. They have had video chats with relatives around the world and thought nothing of it.
My friends and I used to wish that we had our own 'Q' to supply us with the amazing toys that James Bond got to play with never dreaming that one day we would have them for ourselves.
Truth is that even though I have flown a million times I am still sort of amazed by all this and that makes me happy. Makes me happy because it reminds me that the little boy that I once was still lives inside me and that sometimes he gets to come out and play.
And I would be remiss not to mention how much fun it is to see the unadulterated excitement in the eyes of the children when they saw I was home. That sort of welcome never grows old.
Other Posts about Flying
I don't Like Flying Anymore
Cruising At 34,000 Feet
Deciphering Frequent Flier Programs
All My Bags Are Packed
Airplane Trouble? Kill a Goat
Flying The Unfriendly Skies
Crying Child Forces Family From Plane
The Land of Lost Luggage
Airlines Continue To Rob The Public
The Joys of Flying Commercial Airlines
What If The Plane Crashes
Traveling Jack's Plane Made It
I Hate Flying
The Traveling Jack Show- I Hate Flying
Flying The Unfriendly Skies- What Type of Explosive Device & Why
Flying The Friendlier Skies
This most recent trip was a turnaround and I am feeling a little beat. Left LAX at 10:30 on Monday night and arrived in Dulles yesterday morning at 6:30. Hopped a shuttle to the hotel and then made like Clark Kent changing into Superman in the bathroom. Moments later I did my share to keep Starbucks in business and I was ready to roll.
By 8:30 I was sitting in the conference room bright eyed and bushy tailed for a 9 A.M. meeting. Ok, that is not entirely true- I was there but I felt like hell. Felt like hell because the travel gods punished me by providing me with the gift of sniffles and a snore throat. It started the night before and progressively got worse.
I rarely get sick and was none too happy to realize three hours before my flight that the body was fighting some bug. This meeting was too important to cancel so I got some OTC cold drugs, Vitamin C, Zinc and a healthy dose of meditation to get me through.
You won't be surprised to learn that on the flight out there I was thrilled to have an entire row to myself. I turned on the iPod, closed my eyes and did my best to sleep.
Home-Michael Bublé
Gentle Annie- Tommy Makem & Liam Clancy
Honor (Main Title Theme from "The Pacific")- Hans Zimmer
Always On My Mind-Johnny Cash & Willie Nelson
Calling You- Blue October
America-Simon & Garfunkel
A Pirate Looks At Forty-Jimmy Buffett
Praan-Garry Schyman
Superman- R.E.M.
I Was Wrong- Social Distortion
99 To Life- Social Distortion
Can't tell you how long I slept for only that I did and that it was a good thing that I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror as my hair was pretty funky. I remember brushing my hair and thinking about how in some way my professional life has been far more similar to both of my grandfathers than my own father. But, they traveled by car and not by plane. Not sure if they could have ever imagined flying across the country for a meeting.
Granted, it is not that unusual. I have many friends who have done this but still if you go to the trouble of flying three thousand miles it makes more sense to stay for a few days and build several meetings around your trip. My children certainly don't appreciate how amazing it is to do the things that we do. They have had video chats with relatives around the world and thought nothing of it.
My friends and I used to wish that we had our own 'Q' to supply us with the amazing toys that James Bond got to play with never dreaming that one day we would have them for ourselves.
Truth is that even though I have flown a million times I am still sort of amazed by all this and that makes me happy. Makes me happy because it reminds me that the little boy that I once was still lives inside me and that sometimes he gets to come out and play.
And I would be remiss not to mention how much fun it is to see the unadulterated excitement in the eyes of the children when they saw I was home. That sort of welcome never grows old.
Other Posts about Flying
I don't Like Flying Anymore
Cruising At 34,000 Feet
Deciphering Frequent Flier Programs
All My Bags Are Packed
Airplane Trouble? Kill a Goat
Flying The Unfriendly Skies
Crying Child Forces Family From Plane
The Land of Lost Luggage
Airlines Continue To Rob The Public
The Joys of Flying Commercial Airlines
What If The Plane Crashes
Traveling Jack's Plane Made It
I Hate Flying
The Traveling Jack Show- I Hate Flying
Flying The Unfriendly Skies- What Type of Explosive Device & Why
Flying The Friendlier Skies
Two kids and a dog- A Father Speaks
(In case you missed my guest post from Blogger Talk here it is.)
Two kids and and a dog call me dad. Sometimes they vary it and call me daddy, abba or abs (pronounced Awbs). I suppose that I should clarify that the dog doesn’t use a name, at least not in English. Mostly he barks at me or gently tugs on my hand to take me wherever it is he wants me to go.
In the blogosphere they have a bunch of different names for me. Some people call me Jack or use more colorful terms to get my attention. My shop is just around the corner from here just a point and a couple of clicks away. That’s part of the beauty of cyberspace nothing is particularly far away. Here distances aren’t fixed and measured in the same way as they are in the so called real world.
Some people call me a daddy blogger. It is a term that has gotten a lot more play recently than it used to. I suppose that you can blame/attribute this to the ruckus created by the mommy bloggers. That is assuming that you are aware of the ruckus because you may not be. This is another time where the vastness of the blogosphere comes into play, if you don’t visit blogs who fall into a particular category you might not know that they exist.
Apparently quite a few people are new to those of us who fall into the purview of dad blogging. I am not really sure why that is or how it can be so surprising for so many but that is neither here nor there. So just for kicks let’s define a dad blog as one that is written by a father(s) and that it is about a dad’s life.
It is pretty simple stuff if you ask me and since you are reading this we’ll assume that you do. Consider me your expert tour guide so remember to stay close to the group so that you don’t get lost. Don’t be afraid to ask questions because there might be a test at the end.
The beauty of blogging is that it provides you with a simple and effective way to learn and interact with the world around you. And for men that is a pretty useful tool for a host of reasons. We’re a different sort of animal than women and not just because of the differences in plumbing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some of the stereotypes about us are true. We are less likely to ask for help, directions or to build relationships than women are. Blogs help solve some of those issues for us because we can hang out and pretend like we know what is going on when in reality we are taking copious notes about how to do XYZ.
Back in the Jurassic age of blogging when I first started in between hunting dinosaurs we wrote about our lives and told funny stories about things that happened to us or conversations with we had with our children .
In some ways it was a simpler time because we didn’t get caught up in discussions about best practices for blogging, we just did.
It is not that there is anything wrong with that because I certainly teach my children to work hard at whatever they do, that practice is important and that there is merit in being good at things. It is not an uncommon practice or discussion among parents to encourage their children to do their best at whatever it is they do.
And so we have seen the evolution of dad blogs that are focused on teaching men how to be fathers and or men. Some of them are more polished than others and are run by professionals and others are written by men who do it as a hobby.
My favorite dad blogs tend not to be those that fit into the professional category, the ones that are a sort of hybrid between blog and magazine. I appreciate them and the work that they do but they don’t cut it for me.
They don’t because my favorite dad blogs are raw and authentic. They tell uncensored stories about their lives. They open up a window into the good times and the bad times. They show you who they really are or at least they make you feel like they do.
And that is what I want. I want to see a person. I want to read about how something made someone laugh or cry. I want to hear that sometimes they lost it over something stupid and trivial. I want to see their humanity because I can relate to that.
There are times when I like reading the more polished pieces about how to deal with a tantrum. They have their place and their moment- but I usually prefer to hear about how dad lost his mind because he stubbed his toe for the 23rd time on a toy that wasn’t put away. I like to read about how he screamed at his kids and stopped because he suddenly realized that he had turned into his father.
That is real. That is authentic.
And sometimes I read about how dad reacted to his wife losing the baby. I nod my head as I read their story about dad’s pain and sorrow. That is not to take anything away from the mothers, but sometimes people forget that we are a part of it too. The wives don’t get pregnant magically, we were there. Those stories impact me too.
They’re raw and they’re real.
The dad blogs make me smile and they make me laugh. Sometimes they make me angry and sometimes they make me sad. But I like them because they help remind me that though it sometimes feels otherwise, I am not the only dad out there.
Two kids and and a dog call me dad. Sometimes they vary it and call me daddy, abba or abs (pronounced Awbs). I suppose that I should clarify that the dog doesn’t use a name, at least not in English. Mostly he barks at me or gently tugs on my hand to take me wherever it is he wants me to go.
In the blogosphere they have a bunch of different names for me. Some people call me Jack or use more colorful terms to get my attention. My shop is just around the corner from here just a point and a couple of clicks away. That’s part of the beauty of cyberspace nothing is particularly far away. Here distances aren’t fixed and measured in the same way as they are in the so called real world.
Some people call me a daddy blogger. It is a term that has gotten a lot more play recently than it used to. I suppose that you can blame/attribute this to the ruckus created by the mommy bloggers. That is assuming that you are aware of the ruckus because you may not be. This is another time where the vastness of the blogosphere comes into play, if you don’t visit blogs who fall into a particular category you might not know that they exist.
Apparently quite a few people are new to those of us who fall into the purview of dad blogging. I am not really sure why that is or how it can be so surprising for so many but that is neither here nor there. So just for kicks let’s define a dad blog as one that is written by a father(s) and that it is about a dad’s life.
It is pretty simple stuff if you ask me and since you are reading this we’ll assume that you do. Consider me your expert tour guide so remember to stay close to the group so that you don’t get lost. Don’t be afraid to ask questions because there might be a test at the end.
The beauty of blogging is that it provides you with a simple and effective way to learn and interact with the world around you. And for men that is a pretty useful tool for a host of reasons. We’re a different sort of animal than women and not just because of the differences in plumbing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some of the stereotypes about us are true. We are less likely to ask for help, directions or to build relationships than women are. Blogs help solve some of those issues for us because we can hang out and pretend like we know what is going on when in reality we are taking copious notes about how to do XYZ.
Back in the Jurassic age of blogging when I first started in between hunting dinosaurs we wrote about our lives and told funny stories about things that happened to us or conversations with we had with our children .
In some ways it was a simpler time because we didn’t get caught up in discussions about best practices for blogging, we just did.
It is not that there is anything wrong with that because I certainly teach my children to work hard at whatever they do, that practice is important and that there is merit in being good at things. It is not an uncommon practice or discussion among parents to encourage their children to do their best at whatever it is they do.
And so we have seen the evolution of dad blogs that are focused on teaching men how to be fathers and or men. Some of them are more polished than others and are run by professionals and others are written by men who do it as a hobby.
My favorite dad blogs tend not to be those that fit into the professional category, the ones that are a sort of hybrid between blog and magazine. I appreciate them and the work that they do but they don’t cut it for me.
They don’t because my favorite dad blogs are raw and authentic. They tell uncensored stories about their lives. They open up a window into the good times and the bad times. They show you who they really are or at least they make you feel like they do.
And that is what I want. I want to see a person. I want to read about how something made someone laugh or cry. I want to hear that sometimes they lost it over something stupid and trivial. I want to see their humanity because I can relate to that.
There are times when I like reading the more polished pieces about how to deal with a tantrum. They have their place and their moment- but I usually prefer to hear about how dad lost his mind because he stubbed his toe for the 23rd time on a toy that wasn’t put away. I like to read about how he screamed at his kids and stopped because he suddenly realized that he had turned into his father.
That is real. That is authentic.
And sometimes I read about how dad reacted to his wife losing the baby. I nod my head as I read their story about dad’s pain and sorrow. That is not to take anything away from the mothers, but sometimes people forget that we are a part of it too. The wives don’t get pregnant magically, we were there. Those stories impact me too.
They’re raw and they’re real.
The dad blogs make me smile and they make me laugh. Sometimes they make me angry and sometimes they make me sad. But I like them because they help remind me that though it sometimes feels otherwise, I am not the only dad out there.
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