What Happens When You Die

The Shmata Queen and I have an ongoing discussion about what happens to people when they die. That wacky woman isn't convinced that anything comes after this. You could sum up her position as life followed by death, end of story.

No heaven, no hell. Just a dirt nap during which time your corpse is eaten away, dissolving into dust.

I understand how and why she came to this position. The afterlife is based solely on faith. You can't call your travel agent and book a flight. You can't take a boat or a bus to get there. There is no tangible proof that it exists. She wants hard evidence. She wants a scientific proof to hang onto and we can't give it to her.

This discussion about death is one that we have had a million times. I don't try to convince her to rely upon faith. I leave religion out of it. Faith isn't something that you can teach. You believe or you don't believe. To me it is a highly personal thing and I can respect that.

So the question is what do I have to offer that isn't based upon a belief that religious dictates are factual. To me it comes back to our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and those that follow them. Our descendants and the memories that they carry forward or fail to carry forward are the key.

When I look at my children I see reflections of the past and glimpses of the future. There are physical markers that we can use. For example if you look at my son there are shared features. His hands and feet are virtual duplicates of mine. And of course he has many of my mannerisms and that leads me to hypothesize that some of those are things that really come from several generations ago.

If you watch my father walk through a store you'll often see him with his hands behind his back. That comes from what he was taught when he was a little boy. Watch my son and I and you'll often see us do that. So you could argue that something that started in the early '40s still happens 60 some years later.

But there are other things. Things that my zaide taught my grandfather who passed it along to my dad, to me and then to my son. So we can argue that something that might have started in a shtetl in Lithuania in the 19th century is still with us in the 21st.

In addition there are the stories that we hear about relatives. My maternal grandfather has pictures of his grandmother and grandfather on the wall. They died somewhere in the early '30s. My mother and aunt haven't any personal memories of them, but we all know a few stories about them.

We all can tell you the story about the cab driver in Chicago who ran into my grandfather's grandfather and knocked him down. And we can all tell you about how he picked himself up, dusted himself off and then punched the cab driver in the nose.

Here we are in 2009 talking about a man who was born somewhere around the end of the Civil War.

There are other stories that we know. Tales of family who fled the Cossacks and hid in the fields. Tales of the great grandfather who fought the police and helped tailors form a union. Stories of a great grandmother who loved to go dancing.

The point is that for me that keeps them from being totally gone. Though they might not be alive in the truest sense of the word, they aren't completely gone.

It reminds me a bit of a conversation that we had when my friend 'D' died eleven years ago. Would he be forgotten and left behind, just one more soul who was taken far too young. I don't think so. While I won't ever have memories of him as an old man, I won't forget him either.

And for me that works, it is enough. As long as the stories remain we can stick around. And given the advantages of modern technology there are a lot of tools. There are endless videos that we are a part of and things like this blog.

What do you think?

Playing it Safe

You can blame a lot of things on a man turning 40. There are all of the traditional and stereotypical things going on here. The desire for a sports car, the need to feel young and vibrant etc.

I admit to feeling all of those things. But I also can say that I truly don't feel old. Ok, so that is a contradiction to some of what I have said. I do feel the pressure of time. I do feel like there are more responsibilities and fewer chances to take a risk. All that is true.

But it doesn't change the overall feeling inside that I really am not old. I may not look like I did at twenty. I may have some mystery aches and pains that didn't exist, but mentally I don't feel like an old guy.

Ask my children and they'll tell you that their dad is a big kid. I chase them around the house ans wrestle with them. Little Jack and play handball. I challenge and win races against he and his friends all the time.

Ok, not that impressive to beat a bunch kids. But give me a break. In ten years they'll be on the verge of entering their peak and I'll be fifty. Got to take advantage of the opportunity to win while I can. And believe me, I am not conceding anything when I am fifty.

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Spent several hours at a school event last night. It was a dinner for the kindergarten class of 2009-10. The dark haired beauty was in rare form. Not long before we left she told me that she is a big girl and it won't be long before she is married and has a baby in her tummy. She emphasized the tummy part by sticking her belly out at me.

I smiled and told her that she has plenty of time to learn and grow before she becomes a mommy. She told me that she is ready. So I leaned over and told her that I am ready to speak to any boy that wants to help her become a mommy. She looked at me and told me that I wasn't going to speak to them, I am going to punch them in the nose.

Good to see that she understands the score. Truth is that little girl is going to take some little boy and turn him inside out. But just in case, I will be there. Good to know that she knows that.

Anyway, at the dinner I made a point of playing with the kids and then moseyed off to hang out with some of the fathers. We made the usual small talk about life. Batted around the idea of retirement and how if we pulled our kids out of private school we could retire earlier.

I laughed. Some of those guys are making so much money it is hard to believe that retirement is an issue that they worry about. Some of them played it safe, doctors and attorneys who moved into the family practice. I don't fault them for it.

At times I have wondered if I didn't make a mistake by playing it safe. There are easier paths to walk than the one that I have chosen. There are fewer bumps and bruises to be had by hiking the trail that has already been blazed. But that is not me. I like trying to Shoot the Moon. I like the razor's edge.

The trick is be aware of where you are at. I don't want to become the next Icarus. If it works. If I find that way to make it all happen then all is good. And if it doesn't, well, I have a fall back plan. The hard part is that falling back could end up being a literal experience and that is where my age comes into play.

It is not that you can't get back up, but the bruises and aches have a way of hanging on a bit longer than they did in the past. I guess that we'll see what happens.

Clint Eastwood Clips

After yesterday I decided to share some of those clips here:

Unforgiven

The Good The Bad and the Ugly Finale

Gran Torino was a great movie too.

Happy Blogiversary Jack

Welcome friends to another self indulgent post, but that is what a blogiversary is all about. It is a chance to congratulate yourself for surviving another year of blogging as well as a chance to engage in a bit of introspection.

So here I am with the fifth edition of the obligatory blogiversary post. If you are interested in reading what I wrote in previous blogiversary posts take a look at the following links. While I guarantee that there is a certain amount of repetition I can promise you that there was little to no mention of Chumus or waffles.

A Blogiversary

Happy Blogivesary To Me
My Third Blogiversary- Not Quite a Farewell
My Fourth Blogiversary- What Do I have To Say

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In five years of blogging I have produced about ten thousand posts, but not all of them appeared here. Some of them were written on group blogs and some on one of the private blogs I operate.

If you haven't figured it out, not every post here is factual. Quite a number are stories that I made up. I enjoy writing and I take pleasure out of telling stories. Many of those stories may have an element or two that have been borrowed from "real life," but the majority do not.

Over the years I have received more than one email inquiring for the back story on some of these posts. Some have even thought they were the topic or inspiration for a post or two. For the sake of clarity, if you have to ask if I was writing about you then you can be sure that I wasn't.

I am not cryptic. If I want to send a message I come right out and say it in the post or via email. I enjoy fulminating as much if not more than the next guy.

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They tell me that when you celebrate your fifth wedding anniversary you are supposed to give some sort of gift that is related to wood. Not that I am asking for anything, besides I have all of the firewood that I need.

Anyhoo, let's move on shall we.

I haven't any regrets about becoming a blogger, whatever the hell that means. Writing is a joy and a passion. It is an outlet that I use to express my thoughts and feelings. This joint has served as the venue for a lot of learning. It has been the spot where I chronicle my life and those I care about.

It has served as an opportunity to make new friends and at times it has been a battle zone. For better or for worse old Jack has had his moments where he has tried to be the dragon slayer. Did I gain anything from it. Did it help or hinder me? Well I am still answering some of those questions.

The challenge of maintaining a personal blog in a public space is that your words/thoughts are there to be interpreted or misinterpreted by any who come by. Sometimes it is good and sometimes it is bad. If you choose to follow this path you have to be prepared to accept what comes with it.

Overall it has been a great experience. And while there is no doubt that if I had to do it all over again there are things that I would do differently. That is part of the joy of life. We live and we learn. Most of the time when I read old posts over I cringe. I see a dozen different things that I wish I would have done differently. I read it and think that it could have been so much better.

But the thing about this blog is that it is not a professional effort. It is just a few thoughts from some guy at his computer so I am comfortable with it. I don't make myself crazy trying to be perfect every time. Maybe if someone starts paying me to do this I will.

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If you are still reading then you are about to enter the place where I speak about the future. Blogging isn't the same bright, shiny penny it used to be. While I still like it, I can't say that it brings me the same constant joy it once did. That is a way of saying that I still haven't a clue as to how much longer I'll do this.

Sometimes I think that I'll try to go for another five years. That would be kind of cool, a full decade of blogging. But if there is one thing that I have learned it is that you can't predict that far into the future with much accuracy. There are just too many variables.

So I'll make the promise that I don't know how much longer I'll be here. Could be a long time, could be short. If I do decide to give it up I'd like to be the guy who just rides off into the sunset. Maybe I'll be Shane, who knows.

And while we are talking about Westerns, let me say that I am a Clint Eastwood fan. There are a ton of movies that I could link to, but I'll go with a couple of my favorites Unforgiven and The Good, The Bad And The Ugly.

Will Munny: All right, I'm coming out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends, and burn his damn house down.

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Will Munny: Any man don't wanna get killed better clear on out the back.

And

"You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig." -- Blondie (Clint Eastwood) to Tuco (Eli Wallach) in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

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It has been fun. Thanks for being a part of it.

Monday Night Music Madness

Here is a snapshot of what I have been listening to this evening.

Mansions of The Lord
Crying- Roy Orbison
I Drove All Night- Roy Orbison
The Thrill is Gone- B.B. King
While My Guitar Gently Weeps- The Beatles
5th Symphony-Shostakovich
Adagio for Strings, op.11- Samuel Barber (This is the 9-11 tribute, very powerful.)
Ten Years Kashmir II-Corner Stone Cues
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring Soundtrack Part 8- Howard Shore

Judaism-Interdenominational Melee Thoughts

I am working on or at least thinking about two posts. The first is my "Why are you Jewish" and the second is the self indulgent happy blogiversary post that I want/need to write. In between I decided to touch upon both of these with a comment or two about some things that are going on.

Or should I say that I am sort of revisiting topics that never really go away. There is an ongoing struggle within Judaism for control of the future of the religion. It is a battle that is not limited to Judaism, it is something that you see in all religions.

I'll apologize in advance for not providing a glossary or explanation of all the ideas and thoughts here, I am pressed for time.

From a Judaic standpoint you can boil it down to whether Torah is Min ha-shamayim or not. Did Hashem give Moshe the Torah or was it divinely inspired. There are significant differences in interpretation and that makes all the difference.

Some of you may remember a show from the late 70's/'80s or so called The Greatest American Hero. I like using it to try and explain some of my thoughts on this. Here is the YouTube description of the show:

A teacher is asked to be a superhero using a special alien suit with powers he can barely understand or control, after losing the instruction manual. He is aided by a Government Agent. Along with his lawyer girlfriend, together they figure out not only how to control the suit, but to right wrongs.

The hero, Ralph has this incredible suit, but only the foggiest idea how to use it. So he has to learn by undergoing a trial and error learning process. At times it is painful, flying is hard and his landings are painful. Gradually he figures it out and in time comes to be fairly proficient at using it.

That is similar to one explanation I heard many years ago about Torah. Granted it doesn't touch upon the Oral Law, which I think is a mistake.

A better explanation would be to tie it into the concept of Originalism as it applies to the U.S. Constitution. Given the current nominee for the court you might enjoy reading through it.

Anyhoo, the idea if you are not familiar with it is that the founding fathers wrote the document and we should follow the intent without any sort of deviation. That is opposed by the idea of a living Constitution. That allows for a more flexible interpretation of the law.

To me the latter makes far more sense. Life is not what it was two hundred years ago, let alone 2,500 years. We moved from believing that slavery was ok, that some people were worth less because of their skin color. We understand now that the sun doesn't revolve around the earth and that the earth is not flat.

So it makes sense that we explore and consider what we are doing and why. If you cannot engage in self examination there is a problem. If you dare not challenge your beliefs then maybe you haven't got enough of a foundation to support it.

All that being said faith is a central component of it all. I challenge much, but at the same time there are things that I just accept based upon faith alone. It is not always logical or rational, but in general it works for me.

Here is an old joke that I have shared on the blog before:

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets the rabbi who is supposed to perform the ceremony. The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."

The rabbi answers, "No way! "Men and women always dance separately!"

The man then asks, "So after the ceremony you mean I can't even dance with my own wife?"

The rabbi replies, "It's forbidden!"

The man asks, "Can we finally have sex?"

The rabbi replies, "Of course! Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have many children!"

"What about different positions?" asked the man?

"No problem," says the rabbi, "It's a mitzvah!"

"Well then, how about a woman on top?" the man asks.

Rabbi replies, "It's mitzvah!"

"How about Doggy Style?"

"Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno film?"

"It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"NO, NO, NO!" cries the rabbi.

"Well, why not?" asks the man.


Rabbi answers, "Could lead to dancing!"

And here are some posts that are somewhat related to this topic. I need to pick it up again at a later date and get an earlier start on it.

As an FYI, some of these posts were written quite some time ago. I need to review them and determine if I still agree with everything I wrote. In any case, I'll put them here so that I can find them.

Who is A Jew
Robbing The Bride and Groom
Jews- The Interdenominational Melee
Prayer In School
Second Guessing Ourselves- Elul Times Two
The Future of Judaism
Orthodox Versus Jewry- Or My Blood is More Jewish
My Brother- A Lesson in Simple Physics

Chumus Wars

If you Google the word Chumus, you'll see that my friend Benji has the market locked up on the top results. Today I decided that I just can't accept that so we're taking steps to correct it.

I am going to build a script that inserts Chumus into all 7,000 of the posts here and within no time at all I'll be the top dog.

It is a prelude to the coming marketing storm when our chain of restaurants Chumus King opens up worldwide. Soon the mighty CK will enter the arena sweeping the competition aside and giving hope to inferior and weak falafel balls everywhere.

That whisper you hear will grow from a barely audible Chumus to a mighty roar of CHUMUS!