How To Tie A Tie

In the grand tradition of The Shack I bring you more useful information. Some of the men out there are obligated to wear an old fashioned neck tie to work or other events. I imagine that many of you were taught how to tie-a-tie by your father or some older male relative.

In my case I learned from a family friend. My father tried to teach me on a number of occasions, but invariably we banged heads about how to do it. It wasn't like it was really that difficult, but the younger version of me was far more ornery than the kind and gentle unit you experience today. As a result the guy who really taught me how to do it was not my father.

It was probably better that way, but that is a different story altogether. As far as this post goes I am about to provide you with a link that provides instructions on four different ways to tie-a-tie:
Windsor Knot

Half Windsor Knot

Four in Hand Knot

Pratt Knot
If you are curious Old Jack prefers to use a Windsor Knot. Incidentally this link takes you to site that lays claim to 85 different ways to Tie-A-Tie. If you ask me that is a little excessive, pull too hard on an average tie and you still choke yourself.

One more tidbit of information about me. I don't like wearing ties all that much, but in a strange contradiction I probably own close to a 100. I figure if you have to wear it you might as well own ones that you like. I tend to be fond of Jerry Garcia's line, but there are many others that I like.

Last comment about ties. I hold onto mine forever. I even have the one I wore at my Bar-Mitzvah. It might look a bit dated now, but one day it is going to be back in style.

Last Minute Thoughts

The Shmata Queen interrupted my breakfast to ask if it was really necessary to tell people that we were nominated for an award.

SQ: Do you blog for others or for yourself?
Me: Something tells me that you think I have some 'splaining to do.

SQ: That is not an answer.
Me: Nope and it is not a question either.

SQ: Is it really necessary?
Me: What? That look you're giving me.

SQ: We're on the phone. You can't see my face.
Me: I don't have to. The tone of your voice gives it away.

SQ: It doesn't matter what I say does it.
Me: Sure it does. Ask me a question.

SQ: Please tell me that I don't hear you typing.
Me: Ok, you can't hear me typing. (I love this Jedi mind trick thing.)

SQ: I really don't want this to be on the blog.
Me: Dear, you know that I would never put this on the blog.

Something tells me that in a relatively short time I am going to hear about this. Hee hee. Say did I tell you that this blog is a finalist for the Weblog awards. Reach out and click someone, preferably the one that says Random Thoughts.

Ok, back to the serious business of last minute procrastinations prior to starting my weekend. The Sandmonkey has a link to the trailer for the new Rambo movie. You might wonder why I mention that, well here is why. If Stallone can still headline an action movie at 61 it means that I have another 30 years or so before I am actually middle aged.

Can't wait to show those cocky 20 somethings at the gym. Speaking of those cocky 20 somethings I am scheduled to go play in an hour which means that I need to start stretching now. I can't just run on the court and start playing anymore. Actually, that is not completely true. I can, but until I break that first sweat I don't move so well.

It is kind of embarrassing to be slower than a Sleestak. Truth is that it doesn't last long, once the blood starts pumping the legs start moving. It kind of feels like my internal transmission is slipping and then pow! The turbo kicks in. Ok, maybe it only works for short bursts but isn't that really what you want to have happen. It is part of why I play half court.

This weekend is chock full of more activities than I like. There is a soccer game. 17 birthday parties, a Bar Mitzvah, visits to grandparents, assorted relatives and the dreaded trip to the mall.

The mall, Jack and the holiday season. It is a recipe for chaos and confusion not to mention a terrible headache. Maybe I'll get in the car and start driving. If I leave now I just might have enough time to make a clean getaway.

Have a good weekend. I'll see you all later.

It's Official: Torre Signs With The Dodgers

It is official, Joe Torre is now the manager of my beloved Dodgers. There are mixed opinions about whether this is good or bad. J.A. Adande the former L.A. Times columnist isn't real optimistic about it.
"Torre's time in Dodger Blue will never come close to matching his accomplishments in pinstripes.

And the city's long relationship with the Dodgers, celebrating its 50th anniversary next year, no longer generates the same passion as its newer love, the Lakers. Sometimes it seems the Dodgers season is just something that happens in between Kobe Bryant trade updates.

The Dodgers aren't hurting for attention. Their attendance of 3.8 million this year trailed only the Yankees. They just don't dominate the discussion any more, don't get the city's heart racing or keep Dodger flags fluttering from cars on the Santa Monica Freeway.

It's not just about the flash, the star power and the almost daily dosage of drama the Lakers provide. Nothing short of a championship will satisfy this city's sports fans. And while the Lakers and the USC football team revived their glory days earlier this decade, we're almost to the point where a whole generation has grown up, left for college and come back while the Dodgers maintained the exact same status: without a playoff series victory since 1988.

And no manager, Joe Torre included, is good enough to transform the Dodgers into a championship team."

I think that the issue is not just about championships, it is a problem with baseball in general. Baseball has done a piss poor job of marketing itself to the younger generation. When I was a kid there wasn't a question about being a baseball fan. It was a given.

Now things have changed and while people still call it The National Pastime it is probably safe to say that Football and Basketball have eclipsed it. It is kind of sad as baseball has many attributes that the other games do not. To begin with it is the one sport that doesn't require you be a giant to play.

And from the perspective of being a fan there is something far more interesting and intriguing about baseball records than the other sports. There is a reason why the home run chase still catches our eye or why baseball fans debate when and if another player will hit .400 or higher again.

But back to The Dodgers. Ever since The O'Malley's sold the team I have been disappointed with the management. The Mike Piazza trade was terrible and though it was under different management, let's not forget the shoddy treatment of Ross Porter.

I am a supporter of bringing Joe Torre on board. It is a good move. Little was done. He got as much out of the team as he was going to. But before I end this I need to share one more comment from Adande.
"The actions of McCourt just reaffirm a little secret about Los Angeles: all of the behavior that gives this city a bad name comes from people who move here, not the folks who are from here. As soon as the plane lands the new residents throw on the sunglasses, find a hairstylist and start trying to fit in. McCourt, a Bostonian, just bought the flashiest car on the lot and is ready to show off. He might even accessorize with A-Rod."

We're A Finalist In the 2007 Weblog Awards

Ok folks it is time for some shameless self promotion. This blog is a finalist in the 2007 Weblog Awards in the category of Best of the Top 2501 - 3500 Blogs.

The voting is now open. Click here to reach the polls. Feel free to vote for The Shmata Queen's favorite blog, listed on your poll as Random Thoughts.

As an FYI some of my regular reads are also finalists:

Under the category of Best Middle Eastern Blog you'll find :

A Mother in Israel
The Dry Bones Blog
Treppenwitz

Israel Matzav is a finalist in the Best of the Top 251-500 Blogs

The Holiday Season Collection

RWAC reminded me that I have been meaning to put together a post that covers my holiday season collection. That is, a post that contains a summary of the holiday season post.

So here is an attempt to do that. I apologize if this doesn't make sense, I seem to have OD'd on candy.
I Hate The Holiday Season
The Salvation Army Bell Ringer Doesn't Like Me
I Wished Death Upon Santa

I Killed The Easter Bunny

Happy Holidays is An Appropriate Greeting

This Made Me Chuckle

Hat Tip to Dirty Harry.

How To Handle Cell Phones in Restaurants

Not Dead Yet

Been a whole slew of crazy things that have happened since I last updated this joint.  It is not an exaggeration to say I am not dead yet, c...