"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
— Groucho Marx
Does Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder
Good morning dear reader, the question of the day is, Does Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder?
Sometimes. I don't think it always works one way or the other - depends on circumstances, etc.
There's a saying in Hebrew (it might be borrowed from another language, but I don't know) - "far from the eye, far from the heart" - implying the opposite...
I had a two-plus year courtship with my husband that was almost almost all long distance.
Later I had a commuter marriage for two years, so I could finish college.
That was all in the days before cell phones, e-mail, texting, etc. made it possible to stay in touch easily.
We've known each other 30 years now, and his work takes him away about 25 percent of the time.
Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Sometimes. Sometimes it brings objectivity the relationship. Sometimes it makes it easy to romanticize the other person.
What I've found after years of frequently being entirely on my own is that I create a life where his role is diminished because it makes it easier to deal with all the separations. That life and mindset is the key to making the marriage work, but it is also something that makes it hard for us to really connect when we are together.
It depends on the kind of relationship you have. Some of the people in my life, I can take up where I left off no matter how much time has elapsed...but with others it's "Out of sight, out of mind".
Almost three years ago to the day, you posted some very kind words about me, and now that I'm back, I'm sure, lulei demistafina, you'd like to be even more effusive and flattering.
10 comments:
Sometimes. I don't think it always works one way or the other - depends on circumstances, etc.
There's a saying in Hebrew (it might be borrowed from another language, but I don't know) - "far from the eye, far from the heart" - implying the opposite...
Hi LB,
I tend to go with the latter. The longer you go without communicating with someone the easier it becomes to continue.
That doesn't mean that the relationship is dead either. What I find telling is the ease with which you can pick things back up.
Some people just click with each other and though time and space may slow things, they never really end.
That is a good thing.
I had a two-plus year courtship with my husband that was almost almost all long distance.
Later I had a commuter marriage for two years, so I could finish college.
That was all in the days before cell phones, e-mail, texting, etc. made it possible to stay in touch easily.
We've known each other 30 years now, and his work takes him away about 25 percent of the time.
Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Sometimes. Sometimes it brings objectivity the relationship. Sometimes it makes it easy to romanticize the other person.
What I've found after years of frequently being entirely on my own is that I create a life where his role is diminished because it makes it easier to deal with all the separations. That life and mindset is the key to making the marriage work, but it is also something that makes it hard for us to really connect when we are together.
Absence
It depends on the kind of relationship you have. Some of the people in my life, I can take up where I left off no matter how much time has elapsed...but with others it's "Out of sight, out of mind".
but it is also something that makes it hard for us to really connect when we are together.
I can see that. Certainly you have to find ways to adapt to a loved one's absence or it would be exceptionally difficult.
Nilu,
I have always treasured the relationships where we can just pick things up as if nothing had passed.
Yeah, for awhile, sadder, too, until you start to forget and it's all good.
I definitely think so.
Almost three years ago to the day, you posted some very kind words about me, and now that I'm back, I'm sure, lulei demistafina, you'd like to be even more effusive and flattering.
until you start to forget and it's all good
I am not sure that we ever completely "forget" some relationships. Sometimes it just lies dormant.
now that I'm back, I'm sure, lulei demistafina, you'd like to be even more effusive and flattering.
Sure, you are a scholar, a mensch and have a tremendous singing voice. Not to mention that you have the good sense to comment here. ;)
What would you know, lulei demistafina, about my singing voice???
I know that it is tremendous.
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