My Daughter & Dating

During a recent conversation with my daughter she asked me why people call me different names. She may be only four, but she is a keen observer of the world around her. Here is a short recap. It is not quite verbatim, but it is close enough.

Daughter: Daddy, why do people call you different names?
Dad: What do you mean?

Daughter: Why do some people call you Jack and others call you Mr. Jack?
Dad: That is because we have different relationships with people. Some people know me better than others do, so they feel more comfortable using a more familiar name.

Daughter: Ok.
Dad: We're teaching you how to do this too. You'll call some of the people you know by their name and others will be a more formal version, like Mrs. Loren or Mr. Saltzman.

Daughter: But how will I know who to do this with.
Dad: Mom and I will help you figure it out. Don't worry about it, we'll help you teach your friends what to call us too.

Daughter: What should my friends call you?
Dad: Well, if they're boys they can call me "Death."

Daughter: Death? Daddy, your name isn't death.
Dad: Just wait a few years and you'll understand.

Daughter: But why should the boys call you "Death."
Dad: Well, I suppose that I can come up with another name.

Daughter: Like what?
Dad: Hmm? How about "Their worst nightmare." Or maybe "Mr. Castration."

Daughter: (Giggling) You're so silly.
Dad: I am not silly, I just love you.

Daughter: I love you too daddy.
Dad: Good, now come give your dad a hug.


Gila said...

How about "the crazy guy with the AK-47"?

Nu, so how come you did not make the bloggy meet-up?

Anonymous said...

wow - as a mom of boys i am very scared right now of the fathers of their potential dates. and i am so glad not to have girls, because they would never, NEVER, be allowed to even look at boys. EVER. your daughter sounds as smart as a whip...

rabbi neil fleischmann said...

that's a pretty sweet exchange.

Unknown said...

As my prepubecent oldest daughter is metamorphosing into a *gasp* pubecent daughter, I've decided that there are 3 possibilities to handle potential boyfriends:
1. Accompany her everywhere with my trusty 9 mm Smith & Wesson.
2. Lock her in her room.
3. Lock me in my room.
I believe that number 3 is the most feasible.

Jack Steiner said...

How about "the crazy guy with the AK-47"?

I prefer to be the crazy guy with the sword or flamethrower. ;)

Technical details kept me at home.


No need to be scared. Not everyone is as nice as me. ;)




#3 might be most feasible, but certainly not most enjoyable. ;)

aliyah06 said...

Hee hee. My husband went to the gym one morning before reporting to work as a police officer. He usually benched around 380 lbs in those days. He came home in one of those ugly 'muscle T-shirts', still sweaty, muscles rippling,and decided to clean and oil his gun before jumping in the shower. At that precise moment, his high-school-aged daughter came home with a new male friend, and introduced us all. The husband, gun in one hand, reached out and jovially shook the boy's hand with his other hand.

Years later, that young man confessed that from that precise moment on, he decided he would NEVER touch our daughter. Fear works.

Jack Steiner said...

Years later, that young man confessed that from that precise moment on, he decided he would NEVER touch our daughter. Fear works.

Only if they are smart. I was dumb enough to be fearless, but one has to start somewhere.

the sabra said...

aliyah-my mum and i are laughing uproariously :D

jack-great post. (very very cliche comment but it's just how i felt. slicha!)

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