This morning was rougher than I could have anticipated. One of the things about being a parent is that even when you are doing your job well you still have moments where you just feel lost and or upset.
Some of my children's relatives have decided that the best gift is green in nature. I suppose that one of the benefits of being part of a large and generous family is that in a short time the children have accumulated a nice amount of cash. This provided an opportunity for a good life lesson in which they have begun to learn about the benefits of saving money so that they can buy something nice that they might not otherwise be able to get.
This past weekend my son and I were running errands when he spotted a toy that he really wanted. Initially he asked me if I would buy it for him. I declined to do so and explained that we just didn't have the extra cash to buy a toy, and besides he has some really nice stuff at home.
He responded by explaining that he thought that he had outgrown some of his toys and that we could give them to charity and that he had his own money. I told him that I thought that this was a very mature way to approach things and that I was agreeable to him getting the toy in this manner.
On a side note, I happened to think that the toy was quite cool. I had something very similar when I was younger and was quite excited at the thought of using it with him.
Anyhoo, we used his funds to buy it and brought it home. From the moment he took it out of the box it became one of his favorite toys and as expected we had a great time playing with it.
Until this morning. That is when the damn thing decided to break. I wasn't in the room when it happened, but it didn't take long for me to hear about it. The big boy used the intercom system to call me over to take a look.
It didn't take more than a moment for me to realize that I probably will not be able to fix this. I won't be able to forget the look on his face when I told him that it was probably not something I could fix.
It was a combination of shock and disappointment. He was truly surprised that there is something that I can't do. And I realized that I have really enjoyed being his hero. And while there are any number of good lessons involved in this I have to say that I was surprised at how it affected me.
The time is rapidly approaching when he is going to see that I really am just a person and not the incredible man he thinks I am. Forgive my ego for being a little bruised, I just thought that this would go on a little bit longer.
8 comments:
I am not sure who I should most sympathetic toward mortal dad, or son who lost his toy. I think Son because his toy is broken. Dad will always be a hero in son's eyes whether you can fix something or not. Based on your previous posts over the years, your father and grandfather were never diminished in your eyes. My dad is very human and nothing will ever change my outstanding view of him. Parents always hold a lofty perch unless they lose it through selfishness.
I strongly suspect an unwritten sequel to this post, where the dad in question slinks to a toy shop and...
I agree with misanthrope. I see my mother warts and all (no, she doesn't really have warts) and she is the strongest, kindest, understanding and most supportive person I know. Even after seeing her daughter and grandson undergo things that I wouldn't even wish on the person perpetrating them she still holds it together so that I can let it out, and I only have my son to worry about and not a grandchild too.
Your son will view you as human but also as his hero because you were honest with him about not being able to fix his toy and even heroes aren't perfect.
I have missed reading your blog in particular these past few months that I have not been online much. Your honesty and graceful--though sometimes reluctant--acceptance of your complete humanity is what makes your blog so much worth reading, to me. Thank you.
Misanthrope,
You are right. Unless I do something really stupid I'll retain some stature, blame my ego for my feeling badly. Ok, that is not entirely fair, I do feel badly because he got so much enjoyment out of the toy.
Snoopy,
No slinking involved for this.
CR,
You are right, honest heroes are best, but still...
Rivka,
You are being too kind. These posts seem to be harder to come by. I make a point of checking in on your blog to see how you are doing.
I have seen that you've been in from time to time, and I really appreciate that. In some ways it's good to know that readers aren't viewing my blog as a train wreck, interested in visiting only when there's crisis but uninterested when life is better.
On the specific topic of your post, I fear I have become more attached to some of my children's toys than they have. Sometimes they can give up a toy far easier than I can.
"I wasn't in the room when it happened..."
And we're supposed to believe that?
On the specific topic of your post, I fear I have become more attached to some of my children's toys than they have. Sometimes they can give up a toy far easier than I can.
I can relate to that.
JF,
Yes. That is how it happened.
Post a Comment