(Grabbed another old post from the archives.)
One of the things that I love about the blogosphere is that I am a part of community.
Community, not one, but many.
I rise up into the ether and find myself a part of a community of bloggers, of those who share my faith, interests, goals, objectives and so much more.
It is a place that I find fascinating. I frequently speak about how I love the interaction and sometimes the voeyeuristic component of this. I peak into lives and see people who I think are just like and I watch others who are so very different.
I learn about them and myself and I really believe that I am growing, at least that is the hope. I know for certain that this has been a positive experience for me if for no other reason than the outlet it provides as well as the chance to work on my writing. I need the practice.
And I know that the outlet provides me with a certain freedom to say things I might not say and to admit things that I might not otherwise. So here is my confession of the moment.
I check my stats way too frequently. I look at Technorati to see if people have decided that I am a necessary part of their daily diet, have they blogrolled me or have they unblogrolled me. I am interested, but in truth I am more touched when someone writes a post because of something they said, wrote, saw or experienced here.
I am sometimes frustrated when there are no comments, especially on posts where I really feel like I have hit a homerun.
So the reality and the truth is that there is some ego involved here, a bit of a come love me component, but I accept that. Is it wrong to admit this, should I be ashamed that I would like for people to look to my blog for this and that.
I don't think so. I feel a little foolish admitting it, but as I said, this is the place where I let those things out, where the dark corners get to see a little light.
I am still a dreamer, a person who lives in the stars. I am not just a father, not just a mealticket or provider.
I am still that boy who dreams of playing a professional sport, who wanted to be part of some amazing story like a Harry Potter or LOTR book.
Blogging really has done a lot for me, I am truly thankful. And if the time comes when I decide I need to hangup my spikes I likely will not announce it. I will probably avoid making a big deal of it because I don't want a bunch of people begging me to stay and if they do not I will be pissed off and mildly hurt.
Silly ego.
Better to walk away and leave a little mystery to where I have gone and if I will return.
6 comments:
This was SO eloquently written and perfectly describes how I feel about blogging.
That peaking into each other lives and how we're all kind of looking for an approval of sorts for sharing parts of ourselves that might not otherwise come out.
Thanks - in my eyes, THIS was a home run for me. What I like to think of as a 'feel good read'.
I love that you are honest enough to admit the kind of experience blogging is for you.
And I, too, find that I am so much more honest on my blog than I ever would be in many other arenas of my life.
Heh. I blogged under a different name and deleted it (not before saving to my hard drive so I at least had all my writing on file) last year at this time. And spammers took over my site name and I became rated XXXXXXX if that is possible. I figure, if I take a break, all I have to do is pause and take a break. Same goes for you. A break can be good. Life ebb and flows.
Maybe I'm like a boxer who comes back but doesn't have the stuff, but I would prefer to think of myself more like Roger Clemens. Once a writer, always a writer. I doubt you'll hang it up, more like you'll find another outlet if you were to ever close the Shack.
Hi Val,
Thank you. I appreciate it. I am always working on it. One of these days I might even be popular like your brother. Then again, 40 comments a post might be tough. ;)
Jill,
I think that the reason blogging has been so rewarding is because I have been so honest. I have learned a lot about myself and the world around me.
Stepping,
A break might be nice. So far I haven't found a reason to disappear for any length of time.
Misanthrope,
Outlets are important.
Oooooh. Note to self: Never, ever give up my blog name!
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