I live in an ordinary home in a ordinary neighborhood in an ordinary suburb. Most of my neighbors are pleasant people. They take pride in their homes and do a nice job of working together to maintain the neighborhood. This is not to say that we do not have our share of kooky neighbors. To the best of my knowledge we do not have any inhabitants who resemble those of 1313 Mockingbird Lane.
I am pleased to say that during the six years that I have lived here there have been a handful of times in which I have been upset about the behavior of the neighbors. The most recent problem has been with some teenagers who like to park their car across the street from the house so that they can spend some quality time together.
You try explaining to a six year-old why the boy is jumping up and down on the girl or why the car keeps shaking. But I digress.
A new issue has developed and this does have my attention. Someone has decided to let their dog use my front lawn as their canine commode. Three days in a row I have found the evidence of their time here. This is not something that I will tolerate. If you have a dog it is your obligation to clean the crap.
So as of 7:30 AM P.S.T. the house is on red alert. The poop patrol has been notified. I will catch them and I will see that they understand that this beastly behavior ceases immediately. If not I will take the appropriate steps to see that the situation is rectified.
Just as a dog marks his territory you can mark my words. This is war.
I am pleased to say that during the six years that I have lived here there have been a handful of times in which I have been upset about the behavior of the neighbors. The most recent problem has been with some teenagers who like to park their car across the street from the house so that they can spend some quality time together.
You try explaining to a six year-old why the boy is jumping up and down on the girl or why the car keeps shaking. But I digress.
A new issue has developed and this does have my attention. Someone has decided to let their dog use my front lawn as their canine commode. Three days in a row I have found the evidence of their time here. This is not something that I will tolerate. If you have a dog it is your obligation to clean the crap.
So as of 7:30 AM P.S.T. the house is on red alert. The poop patrol has been notified. I will catch them and I will see that they understand that this beastly behavior ceases immediately. If not I will take the appropriate steps to see that the situation is rectified.
Just as a dog marks his territory you can mark my words. This is war.
Comments
toilet paper...
jumping on the girl??????? (scrathing head)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/07/06/AR2005070601953.html
(It would probably work for either one)
Nah, already covered that one.
JA,
Will do.
Anon,
Wish the other guy luck. They need it.
Amishav,
Victory shall be mine.
HH,
I'll send you a diagram.
Pam,
You said it.
Judi,
Thanks.
In the old neighborhood, everyday was a doggie surprise.
The hose works great on dogs too, and it disintegrates poop. That said, we never had to get to that level because the woman who was once doing that to us (and leaving her cigarette butts on our lawn and drive) took off running when she heard me galumph down the stairs a few times. Scared her right off without haing to say word one.
Will do.
Misanthrope,
I am fairly certain that the "owner" of the dog is a middle aged woman.
Honza,
A hose is a good tool. You just have to be prepared for the response.
That's one of my "pet" peeves as well, I HATE people who don't clean up after their dogs. Don't forget to let us know what happens!
Will do.