It is quiet. Here in the dark I gain perspective on the events of the day. Sometimes my perspective is colored by the time. Sometimes the things that bother me feel worse, but that is not a frequent occurrence.
Even now years removed from college my inclination is to be up until 2 or 3. It is not so easily done. There are so many responsibilities. It is not just the kids or work, but the combination of the two. This leads me to my next complaint.
My fragile male ego is having trouble dealing with aging. I truly don't get too riled up at my hair loss. It is thinning, but I am no where close to bald. What bothers me is the gym. In particular running at the gym on the basketball court. I seem to be losing a step.
Some of it can be attributed to carrying extra weight, but not all of it. I am noticeably slower. Guys who shouldn't be able to blow by me are pulling away from me and those that used to be slower seem to be keeping up. I am working on a solution for this, but I am not real sure that I can take a 38 year old body that has been used and abused and turn it into a 25 year old. Not when it comes to speed. I can do it in a number of areas, but speed is doubtful.
Life at home has its moments. There is nothing like the terrible twos. Today we got to play all sorts of fun games. There was let's pee on dad's side of the bed and then there was let's poop in the tub.
On a side note I have an issue with the various words we use for our bathroom business. Maybe I'll stop and blog about it. Nah, I'll just include it here.
sca·tol·o·gy (sk
-t
l
-j
)n.
1. The study and analysis of feces for physiological and diagnostic purposes. Also called coprology.
2. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions.
3. The psychiatric study of such an obsession.
The words we use for this particular function are missing something. The expressions just don't ring true. Here is a short list of things you hear people say. If this is TMI kindly skip to the next post. It goes something like this:
I am going to take a ______________________.
Words that could be inserted in the blank include: Dump, bowel movement, shit, poop, crap, dukie, and or dootie.
Sorry, none of them work for me. Doesn't mean that I don't use some or all of them, but there is something not quite right there.
Moving on to the next post now.
The words we use for this particular function are missing something. The expressions just don't ring true. Here is a short list of things you hear people say. If this is TMI kindly skip to the next post. It goes something like this:
I am going to take a ______________________.
Words that could be inserted in the blank include: Dump, bowel movement, shit, poop, crap, dukie, and or dootie.
Sorry, none of them work for me. Doesn't mean that I don't use some or all of them, but there is something not quite right there.
Moving on to the next post now.
7 comments:
Lol. Very funny.
But i'm interested.
Can you 'take' a bowel movement? i thought this happened naturally; the descending colon contracts and creates the urge to defecate. Ofcourse when constipated this process doesn't progress that effectively and then there is the possibility to 'strain' in a (usually failing) attempt to invoke a bowel movement.
-Zeruel
Oh I hear you on the night owl stuff Jack. I still love to stay up until all hours of the night but the responsiblities of being a parent sure have put a damper on that.
You are too funny with the "potty" expressions. I'll never forget the first time my little one pooped in the tub. I thought she was playing with Lincoln logs and then I realized she didn't have any Lincoln logs.
I am a nightowl in my soul as well. And yet I don't think I could survive working the night shift. I think, for me, it's the darkness, the quiet and the feeling of absolute solitude. As one movie character described it, it's like being alive while everyone else is dead.
Don't get me started on growing older. Try menopause. ;)
My father always called it "pishin" and "cockie." I assumed it was Yiddish?
My natural inclination is to be up until 2 or 3am. Like last night. But with kids up at 7am, it's wearing, as you said. I don't know what to say on the age thing, 'cept I'm noticing gravity getting stronger and everyone around me getting faster and stronger and I think my chair is shrinking a bit.
My fun with bathroom euphamisms is to see just how vague I can be when indicating a need to go, yet still have it be understood. You know, at what point will people cease to understand what you mean and just give you a confused look.
You're probabl better off leaving one.
Zeruel,
You could take one, but unless you are heading to the doc I am not sure that you would want to.
Orieyenta,
Lincoln Logs- That is funny.
Finn,
I liked this description: it's the darkness, the quiet and the feeling of absolute solitude.
Stacey,
I would think so.
You know, at what point will people cease to understand what you mean and just give you a confused look.
I spend half my life getting that look from people.
Sholom,
I can agree with that.
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