The Burning Love

If you don't know what a burning love is then I must admit that I think that you have missed out on one of the great pleasures of life. When I wrote The Story of Two Souls I drew upon my own history.

I dusted off the shelves and looked inside my head. I stared in the mirror of my mind's eye and played the films of the great loves of my life. I watched as I laughed and cried. I stared intently at the boy whose heart was filled until it would burst and a part of me wept as I watched that same heart tear itself part. It made me sad to see a part of him die and to remember that empty feeling, that hole that felt like it would never heal.

And then I watched in amazement as he found his way through the desert and rebuilt what was broken. Even though I knew the story I couldn't help but smile as I watched him rediscover what it meant to not just love, but be in love.

I rejoiced with him as he remembered just how love could be the finest addiction around and that he knew that it didn't have to die. There are some loves that surpass time and can survive death. It sounds hokey, it sounds like a cliche, but I know it to be true.

There are people who are so very right for each other that you cannot imagine them ever being with someone else.

A single friend of me asked once how to make that determination. How do you find that person, how do you figure it out. I don't have a great answer. It is such an individual thing. You have to be willing to take a risk and you have to be willing to open your eyes. I don't know if any of this makes sense or sounds remotely relevant to anyone but then again I said that this is deeply personal.

But I want to continue exploring and sharing these thoughts a little bit further. In my experience it is possible to have a relationship in which the physical and the emotional connection surpass your imagination. Part of that is understanding the person that you are with on a deeper level.

Again we are hitting an area that sounds like a bunch of self-help, Dr. Phil type nonsense, but it has consistently proven itself to be true, at least to me.

As a man I have found that the great loves were with women who let me into their head and their heart. I found my way into discussions about their hopes and fears, they shared things with me that they hadn't with other men. The sharing came because it was safe and because it was safe I felt safe to share my thoughts with them.

Now this may sound self-indulgent, but I have written a couple of posts that would be perfect for single men to share with women that they are interested in. But the reason that I say that is because there are real feelings there, I can share my vulnerabilities. The soft underside of the cranky curmudgeon comes out.

But that hasn't always been easy either. Believe it or not, I don't much like sharing my feelings. It feels a little strange an unnatural, but that burning love just shears away the walls that I hide behind. And once the walls come down I stand there exposed, but still a little defiant. I am who I am.

I believe in the potential of The Story of Two Souls because it makes sense to me and that it in itself is funny because love is often illogical and senseless. The heart wants what the heart wants and sometimes it finds its match and sometimes it doesn't. Someone once told me that you are incapable of really understanding that burning love until you have had your heart fed to you. Of course he has been married three times and is probably due for another three which is why I call him Liz Taylor. Sorry Liz.

Or maybe I should call him Larry King instead. Speaking of Larry King there is one thing that bothers me about him. It is not right and not fair, but I swear that his head looks strange on those shoulders. Larry if you ever read this you are welcome to share your criticism of me as well.

Back to the Burning Love stuff again. In the days in which I was a crazed and broken hearted fool the two actors that helped get me through were Humphrey Bogart and John Cusack in Casablanca and Say Anything.

Of course I was never as cool as Bogart and six times as goofy as Cusack, but I never did give up.


Josia said...

In kabbalah love is simply equality of form - two objects with the exact same attributes (mainly a will to bestow) - that is true love.


Soccer Dad said...

How could you not mention John Cusack's two "Savage" Steve Holland classics, "Better off Dead" and "Once Crazy Summer."
And in reference to your busy actors (next post) I've always thought that Gene Hackman and Michael Caine were in just about everything. But did they ever co-star?
Finally, I see, from Instapundit that Christopher Walken is about to become very busy.

Jack Steiner said...


That is interesting. I may have to do a little more reading.


Better Off Dead is classic. I don't ski, but I always imagined that I'd do better on one ski. ;) Two dollars, give me my two dollars.

As for the other flick, well I enjoyed it, but it was missing something. Demi Moore didn't do all that much for the movie.

But your point is well taken.

Soccer Dad said...

Personally I really preferred Better off Dead too. Despite the absurdities (wanting to snort the snow; the sludge for dinner; the kid brother getting all those how to kits) it had real people. There was a year when I was single and my roommates and I had Cinemax and it was on nearly every night!
The thing was Elie kept on talking about this movie where this guy keeps on calling up a radio station and when, at the end movie he finally wins; he pulls the phone out of the socket. Finally at some point I/he/we realized that these two movies were directed by the same guy. I wonder whatever happened to him. Not great movies by any stretch but real riots.
Today, listening to music for the first time guess what I heard? "In your eyes!" 2 last notes; sorry for going on and on:
1) Ione Skye is the daughter of what 1960's singer?
2) I don't recall, but at some point I realized that her father was played by John Mahoney who is much better known as Frazier and Niles father.

Jack Steiner said...

Hi David,

I could IMDB this, but I won't. I just don't remember about Ione Skye, but I did remember John Mahoney.

BTW, I can relate to the whole movie thing you describe, been there and done that. It was fun.

Soccer Dad said...

Donovan (Leitch) is the father of Ione Skye.
Thanks for indulging me!

Jack Steiner said...

Hi David,

It is my pleasure.

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