In an earlier post I discussed my thoughts about interfaith marriage and my problems with the specious arguments that some have established for why they mix religious practices.
My thoughts haven't changed and I have not and will not become an advocate for it, regardless of some of the notes that have been sent to me. Notes that substitute emotion for logic in a sad attempt to convince the writers that they are engaged in a noble practice. There was even on person who tried to use Shalom Bayit as an excuse for their practice. Although I must admit out of the emails I received that was the one that came the closest to making me consider their position more seriously.
In the end, the lack of substance and understanding is what killed these arguments. If you understand the story of Chanukah then you understand that it is not a holiday that supports the mixture of religons that are diametrically opposed. If anything it is a celebration of not giving into assimilation.
Not to mention again that the Hashomonaim are not the epitome of religious diversity and tolerance. When you get down to it they were very particular about how Judaism was to be practiced, to be a Hellenist was not something that they would have supported, ever.
Last night my son asked me if Santa Claus was going to come and visit our house. I told him that he would not and as I paused to take a breath he asked me if Santa was bad with directions. That made me smile.
I told him that Santa was not part of our religion and that other people believed in him and that it is ok to have your own beliefs. We talked about not having to be like everyone else or do the same things as everyone else. And we talked about even though we didn't believe in the same things as other people, it didn't make us better or worse.
He told me that he likes to look at the lights on the houses and I said that was ok, they are pretty and it is ok for other people to have them, but that it is not something that we would do.
This seems to be acceptable to him and I feel good about things. We have established a comfort in his own faith and begun to build a secure foundation so that he can look outside and appreciate the things around him without feeling a need to incorporate them into his own life.
I don't know if it will always be this easy, but for now things are pretty good.
P.S. I told him that Santa didn't have the same GPS as Eliyahu Ha-Navi, but he didn't quite catch the humor. And that is ok too, it made me laugh and sometimes that makes all the difference. :)
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." — Groucho Marx
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2 comments:
I love reading the open and thoughtful conversations you have with your son (and your blog readers). It's so important to make things clear to kids-to them, things are black or white. There is no hazy gray of dual lifestyles (unless they happen to be the product of intermarriage, and then it's soo confusing!) Well put. Thank you.
And I liked the point about Eliyahu's GPS being different than Santa's!
Santa hasn't been around my way for some time either... Always wondered how you explain to a child how Santa fits in with Christmas anyway. Good that you give your son some resilience to the all encompassing consumer society.
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