July 06, 2010

I am Not Going to BlogHer and I Don't Care

I am not going to BlogHer and I don't care. If I were a mommy blogger that might set off a tizzy of ridiculous comments. Sorry ladies, but you gals love drama. Don't tell me that you don't because it is a staple of your posts. This blogger is pisssed off at that blogger because they got more free Pampers or because they didn't get any.

Mama Maniac thinks that Mother Love is far too nasty and shallow, but since she is nice she won't write a blog post about how she is shallow and nasty. Sally the sexy blogger is upset because she hasn't lost the last 23 pounds of baby weight and can't imagine not being able to wear that sexy red dress to the cocktail parties that she is sure she is going to be invited to.

Some of y'all are angry because you hate the sponsors that are helping to provide the conference with the financial stability to make it happen. I can't help but smile as I read posts in which you stress how bad the sponsor is yet find a way to try and justify your attendance there.

Life is filled with lots of black and white and a dozen shades of gray. Why not just admit that you don't like the sponsor but are going to attend because you think that it will be fun and or educational. Is anyone really going to think less of you and do you really care if they do.

I am told that somewhere between ten and fifteen percent of the attendees are going to be men. That is cool and sort of interesting but I won't be one of them. I don't need mommy blogger approval to feel good about my blogging nor do I have a wife attending so there is no pull there. Ok, that is a bit unfair taking a swipe at the men like that, but boys I have to tell you that I laugh every time someone says that they wish that we were taken as seriously as the mommy bloggers.

I don't want to be a mommy blogger. I like being a daddy blogger, not because I am proud of the penis or because I don't like angry mommy bloggers. Really, I have already written the Rules for Blogging so I don't need more instruction.

Nor do I want to end up in 16 BlogHer recap posts as the drunk guy who jumped naked into the pool or won the best door prize. No sir, I just want to sit here in my quiet and spacious corner of cyberspace and write whatever the hell comes to mind without regard for anything else.

I am a blogger who dreams of being the outlaw, the maverick and the rogue. I am a blogger who writes because I like it not because I dream of turning this joint into a cash cow. As a point of reference men try not to use the word cow around women unless it is very clear that you are not referring to anyone in the room. Those stiletto heels leave one hell of a mark, or so I have heard.

Ok, done rambling now. Onto the next post.

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