March 12, 2010

The Daddy Blogger Community

It is a few minutes after two on a Friday afternoon and the work week is slowly...drawing...to...a...close. I'd like to say that I have rounded third and am flying towards home with a full head of steam but that is not quite true, not this week.

So as I fling myself headfirst towards home plate I can only hope that momentum will take me home. Alternatively I can make like Dave Parker barreling into Steve Yeager. Or better yet Bo Jackson taking Brian Bosworth for a ride.

Enough with the sports analogies and on to the topic of the daddy blogger community. It is a funny thing, to me, this daddy blogger community. I have been blogging for six years. And for six years I have filled these pages with daddy blogger content, but it is only within the last year or so that I have begun to be interested in the daddy blogger community.

Can't tell you why because I am not exactly sure. But I suspect that much of it has to do with certain life experiences. Passing 40 was harder than I expected it to be. It was just a bad year, much of it had nothing to do with age, but circumstances. Yep, I was a victim of circumstances.

Anyway, the reasons why don't really matter much. What I know is that I stumbled into a community at the same time as a bunch of other guys and I am really glad that I did. Don't get me wrong, I don't lack friends in the so called real world but it is tough to find time to get together with the boys. We are like everyone else, running from place to place. Work, family and all of the normal responsibilities make it a bitch to find a few minutes of free time.

But the blogosphere isn't impacted by time in the same way. Blogs and Twitter aren't subject to time constraints. They are always open and they provide opportunities to forge relationships that are different than those we have IRL.

See, here in cyberspace relationships proceed at a slightly different pace. Some of us share stories about our lives that wouldn't otherwise be told. Sometimes we talk about fears and insecurities that we might not share in person.

And here in cyberspace there is a community of men who support each other. Dads who blog, daddy bloggers who you can ask for help in a quieter fashion than might be available elsewhere. And that truly is valuable because we don't like to ask for help.

As a man it is hard to show weakness and fear. We are socialized not to and taught that doing so makes us a target. But that is a topic for a different day.

Anyway, it is time to get back to work so that when that whistle blows I can try and relax and play with the kids. Back later to grab that virtual beer with the boys.

12 comments:

Clark Kent's Lunchbox said...

There is an ease in sharing stories via the cyberworld as opposed to face to face. I used to be in these small groups at church just for guys. It was meant to be a time when men could share their thoughts and feelings--almost never happened. 15 minutes in, the conversation always turned to football or politics etc. Here, I've shared all kinds of junk that I would've been pretty tight lipped about in those small groups. It's been nice meeting people who are going through the same junk. What's funny is when I meet other bloggers face-to-face because I've been reading their stuff for so long it feels like we've already met before.

Geez, Dave Parker, there's a name I haven't heard since my days at Three Rivers Stadium.

Keith Wilcox said...

I'm terrible at making online relationships much the same way I'm pretty bad at it in the real world. But, I like the pace of things in the blogging community. Like you say, things progress at a different pace. It's a pace that I can handle (because I'm a bit introverted in person) and it puts me more at ease. Even if that means I don't make friends for a long time, I'm comfortable with the slow pace (slow because I have control over the speed)

Jack said...

What's funny is when I meet other bloggers face-to-face because I've been reading their stuff for so long it feels like we've already met before.

That has been my experience as well. Even though I expect it I am often surprised by how comfortable we are and how much that we know about about each other.


Keith,

There are a lot of benefits with having that kind of trouble. It really makes it easier to ease into things. You can develop a relationship or let it be without some of the challenges that face-to-face interaction provides.

Wendy said...

Can a girl enter the clubhouse without breaking the laws sealed together with kryptonite and Dremel? Because I so get this. As a single, working mom of a kid in school, who has five extra seconds for real-worldness? I cherish those relationships but at 9:30 on a Tues night, sometimes you just want someone to make you laugh and share a moment with. Great post, Jack.

john cave osborne said...

couldn't agree more w/ many of the points in your post.

i, too, have no shortage of friends IRL, but many of them don't give the same thought to thinking that our wonderful online community does.

for example, three of your comments came from daddy bloggers. (CK, AD, and you) and i can honestly say that i've learned something from each of you, whether it's from something you've posted, an email exchange, or both.

it's a great community and i'm proud to be a part of it.

and wendy, you're welcome in our clubhouse anytime.

jack, you always bring it. good stuff, my man.

Captain Dumbass said...

Absolutely true. I know I throw a lot more out there behind the security of my blog than I would do in real life. Excellent post.

New York Dad said...

I love this post. It's in a nutshell why, after the quirky events that brought me to start a blog (which I will share in due time), I have stuck with it despite, as you say, everyone's busy schedule and lack of time in the "real world" to meet with friends. A practical example of why I love this community: usually if I am sitting on a bus and something happens I instinctively turn to share an expression/comment with my friend or wife sitting next to me, but when they are not there I sort of smile to myself and think "They would have found that really funny!". Now with the immediacy of the internet and with you guys a Mobile Tweetdeck click away I can share that thought and get a reaction (something TheJackB knows well since he was at the other end of one of my "on the bus" moments just the other day). This discovery has been a pleasant surprise for me and something I really did not expect a few months ago when I started writing. You summed it up perfectly!

Jack said...

Can a girl enter the clubhouse without breaking the laws sealed together with kryptonite and Dremel?

Well, I'll have to check the by-laws and put it up for a vote. ;) It is crazy how busy we all are. Call me naive, but I never expected to be quite so crazed.

i can honestly say that i've learned something from each of you, whether it's from something you've posted, an email exchange, or both.

It goes both directions. I certainly have loved from all of you as well. It has been real pleasure being part of this group.

Hi CD,

The security of the blog is reassuring. It just feels good to know that we have this.

TheJackB knows well since he was at the other end of one of my "on the bus" moments just the other day).

I do remember that and I completely agree. The immediacy of the interchange is really nice.

Paul said...

I've actually had a hard time breaking through and doing anything meaningful sharing on the internet. I have a theory that it might be that I am part of a fun and active dad's group where I live. I get my fill of life's struggles and goofiness there, so I don't feel compelled to share myself online. I don't really know many blogging dads because I am not out there very much. I am wondering how to change that.

Jack said...

I don't really know many blogging dads because I am not out there very much. I am wondering how to change that.

It is really up to you. If you want you can visit the blogs and drop a comment here and there. Over time you'll find that relationships start to develop with the other guys.

Mr Lady said...

There's a coupla moms that dig you, too. Even if they do get all distracted by life and never get around to interviewing you.

*wink*

Jack said...

There's a coupla moms that dig you

Distracted by life- what, moving is hard. It is easy to move a family, or so I have heard. ;)

Thanks for the kind words, I do appreciate it. Always glad to see you around these parts.