Mixed things up slightly here just to see if I could make a few bucks off of the ads.
Don't know if it will work but figured it was worth a try for no reason other than just because...
If it doesn't work there is nothing lost and if it does well that is pretty damn cool...I think.
Might make enough to take the Shmata Queen out to dinner for her birthday. Hell, I'll do it regardless, but why not try,
Scary Times
Put out some heartfelt stuff for a woman and got no response. Some would say silence is a big no, some would say it is neither a yes or a no and others will say something different.
As for me, well I am not going to analyze it because I have seen it be a no, seen it be a yes and seen it be something in between because it is easier not to commit to one or the other when you don't know what to say.
I get it.
Hard to ask someone to take a chance when it is so complicated and it feels easier to stick with what you know.
Hard not to take a chance when you don't think what you have is good and you are convinced you can do better.
Of course timing is everything and this timing is killing me because work is ridiculous now. It is kicking my ass but not because I am bad at what I do but because the tools and resources are lacking.
And the numbers that are tied into said tools and resources aren't really appropriate for me but I am not sure how to make that clear in a way that doesn't make me sound like I am whining.
Thing is there is only one other person in the company that does what I do. He moved from a competitor where he had 8 years of experience.
I moved states and started from scratch. No experience, no accounts and virtually no support.
Thing is I have made things happen and had a decent amount of success in spite of it all. So it frustrates me to be told I am failing when I am most certainly not.
But fuck, that seems to be life sometimes. I move heaven and earth and battle demons--but it is still short of where it needs to be.
Bleah.
As for me, well I am not going to analyze it because I have seen it be a no, seen it be a yes and seen it be something in between because it is easier not to commit to one or the other when you don't know what to say.
I get it.
Hard to ask someone to take a chance when it is so complicated and it feels easier to stick with what you know.
Hard not to take a chance when you don't think what you have is good and you are convinced you can do better.
Of course timing is everything and this timing is killing me because work is ridiculous now. It is kicking my ass but not because I am bad at what I do but because the tools and resources are lacking.
And the numbers that are tied into said tools and resources aren't really appropriate for me but I am not sure how to make that clear in a way that doesn't make me sound like I am whining.
Thing is there is only one other person in the company that does what I do. He moved from a competitor where he had 8 years of experience.
I moved states and started from scratch. No experience, no accounts and virtually no support.
Thing is I have made things happen and had a decent amount of success in spite of it all. So it frustrates me to be told I am failing when I am most certainly not.
But fuck, that seems to be life sometimes. I move heaven and earth and battle demons--but it is still short of where it needs to be.
Bleah.
The Big Ask
Looked up at a full moon not long ago and whispered the Shmata Queen's name and said I know it is a big ask and it might not be granted, answered or accepted.
Closed my eyes and went looking for her, found her staring back at me.
She smiled but I knew not whether it was an echo of the girl who used to hold my hand. Told her I might see her in the echoes of the future or maybe not.
Walked away, turned around and saw her still smiling.
Closed my eyes and went looking for her, found her staring back at me.
She smiled but I knew not whether it was an echo of the girl who used to hold my hand. Told her I might see her in the echoes of the future or maybe not.
Walked away, turned around and saw her still smiling.
Whose Hand Will You Hold?
Thinking about writing a story called whose hand will you hold?
Got a bunch of ideas about who, what and where it would be focused upon. We'll see if I do more than think about it and put it down.
Got a bunch of ideas about who, what and where it would be focused upon. We'll see if I do more than think about it and put it down.
Door Number One
Someone asked me to explain why some men play video games and I thought about showing them this video but it occurred to me they might not get it.
Maybe if I told them about the storytelling aspect of it and explained how stories are a part of who I am and what I aspire to become.
Sometimes I think about how it would be nice to have real time with a girl who might appreciate such things and go over it.
Reminds me of Let's Make a Deal and getting the opportunity to pick what lies behind door number one or to take the money instead.
You never do know what you are really going to get until you get it now do you.
Born To Run Keeps Playing
Some of you will call me crazy, pushy or something else and some of you will nod your head because you get it.
I keep hearing Born To Run, don't have time to do this properly so I am going to drop this in, might do something more later.
Wendy let me in I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims
And strap your hands 'cross my engines
Together we could break this trap
We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back
H-Oh, Will you walk with me out on the wire
'Cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta know how it feels
I want to know if love is wild
Babe I want to know if love is real
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims
And strap your hands 'cross my engines
Together we could break this trap
We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back
H-Oh, Will you walk with me out on the wire
'Cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta know how it feels
I want to know if love is wild
Babe I want to know if love is real
More Posts
Been posting here and elsewhere a little more frequently for a whole host of reasons.
Might be because things feel more challenging than expected and that is wearing me out a little bit.
Been tempted to ask for help from a person or two but am not good at asking, especially when I am not sure what the reaction will be.
Feels silly and juvenile to say that, but so it goes.
Might be because things feel more challenging than expected and that is wearing me out a little bit.
Been tempted to ask for help from a person or two but am not good at asking, especially when I am not sure what the reaction will be.
Feels silly and juvenile to say that, but so it goes.
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