I suspect that during the course of all of our lives we encounter/interact/acquire friends whose definition of friendship is a bit one sided.
These are the people who make less effort to keep the friendship alive. They tend not to write or call because they rely upon your effort to maintain the relationship. They also have a proclivity for being quick to ask for your help and relatively to slow to offer their own.
The interesting thing about friendships is that they evolve and sometimes they go from being your closer pal to the one sided end of the fence and sometimes they go the other direction.
At the current moment in time I am evaluating my options on what to do about a very dear friend. I say very dear because for a long time I considered him to be among my closest friends, a member of the inner circle.
I am not sure if he realizes or feels that our friendship has gone south, but it is something that I noticed a while ago and it bothers me. It bothers me because I feel like I am the one carrying the load and that without my effort it would fall apart completely.
There is no doubt in my mind that if I called him today and told him that I really needed his help that he would do so to the best of his ability. He is reliable in that manner, but I wonder about the rest.
He is single, never been married and does not have any children. I know that he leads a busy and active life, but frankly he cannot be busier than me and certainly doesn't have half of the responsibilities that I do. So I cannot help but wonder where his head is at.
Mind you that I have come to this place after a number of years. It is not as if I just arbitrarily decided that there was a problem. All this begs the question of whether I should say something to him about this and try and learn if he is just oblivious to this or if he just doesn't care all that much.
Want to know the sad part. The sad confession is that I don't want to have the conversation about it because that is just another example of my keeping things going on my own. In the end I suspect that I'll send him an email outlining my thoughts and see how he responds. I think that the real fear for me here is that the friendship has lost its spark and I find that to be sad and disturbing. You can never have too many good friends, especially those who have been lost in Jerusalem with you and wandered for hours and miles on a quiet Shabbos evening.
What If I Had Died- Reflections On The Accident
Since becoming a parent I have tried hard to become a more thoughtful person but not in the sense of becoming more courteous. Courtesy is important and it should hold a significant place in a person's life, but that is not the kind of thoughtful I am talking about.
Rather I am trying hard to understand why I feel the way I do. What drives me to do the things I do, to believe what I believe. Why am I the man I am and is this who I should be or want to be.
Dorothy Rothchild had an interesting meme in which she asked her readers to describe her in one word and in return she would return the favor. She used the word searching for me and I think that in many ways it is appropriate.
As a point of reference, for those few of you who are trying to get deeper inside my head may I suggest that in addition to this post you also read the following posts, there will be a quiz later.
A better writer than I would describe this as being able to hear the angels speaking but not quite understanding what they are saying. If I tried to write something like that I would add that I think that as soon as they realize that I am listening they move a little farther out of my reach.
It is a matter of feeling like I am smart enough to understand that there is something going on but not smart enough to understand what that is.
Back to the accident. Sometimes it takes people a little time to understand just how close they came to being part of a tragic event. For me it really was brought home tonight. My son kept questioning me about what happened and why. He wanted to know why I didn't just fix the car myself. As he told me, "dad, you know how to do lots of things and you are so big you could carry the car."
Listening to this was like getting hit in the gut. He won't understand the power of his words until he becomes a parent, but they floored me. If the chain of events had been slightly different it could have been a very bad day for my children and my family.
Very few of you know me. Those who do know that I am built like a tank. I am not in the shape I want to be in, but in general if there is some kind of collision between people I win. I wasn't made for grace, Baryshnikov and Nureyev will never be followed by Jack. But if you need a piano moved or a tree stumped removed or anything involving feats of strength (can you say Festivus) I just might be your guy.
Just a few days after Yom Kippur. Some people might not see any relationship there, but to me it was significant, especially given a post that Elie wrote that has stuck with me. In it he said:
If you had been sitting next to me you would have heard me begin cursing as soon as I knew that there was no way to prevent the collision. When the airbag hit me in the face I was irritated and for a moment afterwards I was angry. That is why I spent a moment sitting in the car. It was time to compose myself and maintain some perspective.
One of the primary purposes of this blog is to serve as a place that my children and grandchildren can learn a little bit more about who I am and maybe learn something that will help make life easier for them. Whenever it is that you see this I want you to remember a few things.
First, a father's love is fierce and unending. To paraphrase Pete Rose I would walk through hell covered in gasoline to get to you. Second, never forget to take a moment and consider the things that you have been through and always try to learn from your experiences.
Abba loves you now and forever.
Rather I am trying hard to understand why I feel the way I do. What drives me to do the things I do, to believe what I believe. Why am I the man I am and is this who I should be or want to be.
Dorothy Rothchild had an interesting meme in which she asked her readers to describe her in one word and in return she would return the favor. She used the word searching for me and I think that in many ways it is appropriate.
As a point of reference, for those few of you who are trying to get deeper inside my head may I suggest that in addition to this post you also read the following posts, there will be a quiz later.
Prayer- A Conversation With G-dThere is a general theme here. I am searching, for many things. This may sound hokey, but I often feel as if I can almost hear the world speaking to me. If I slow down, if I stop and listen I can almost catch it, but not quite. There is a language that sounds familiar, it speaks to me, but I never really hear what is being said.
What Does G-d Look Like
Moments When I feel Closest To G-d
I Yelled At G-d
A better writer than I would describe this as being able to hear the angels speaking but not quite understanding what they are saying. If I tried to write something like that I would add that I think that as soon as they realize that I am listening they move a little farther out of my reach.
It is a matter of feeling like I am smart enough to understand that there is something going on but not smart enough to understand what that is.
Back to the accident. Sometimes it takes people a little time to understand just how close they came to being part of a tragic event. For me it really was brought home tonight. My son kept questioning me about what happened and why. He wanted to know why I didn't just fix the car myself. As he told me, "dad, you know how to do lots of things and you are so big you could carry the car."
Listening to this was like getting hit in the gut. He won't understand the power of his words until he becomes a parent, but they floored me. If the chain of events had been slightly different it could have been a very bad day for my children and my family.
Very few of you know me. Those who do know that I am built like a tank. I am not in the shape I want to be in, but in general if there is some kind of collision between people I win. I wasn't made for grace, Baryshnikov and Nureyev will never be followed by Jack. But if you need a piano moved or a tree stumped removed or anything involving feats of strength (can you say Festivus) I just might be your guy.
Just a few days after Yom Kippur. Some people might not see any relationship there, but to me it was significant, especially given a post that Elie wrote that has stuck with me. In it he said:
"But Unesana Tokef cut right through all these emotional shields. As I listened to the chazzan, one question, one "why", would not be silenced in my heart: Why wasn't my son written in the "book of life" last Rosh Hashana? Why???"Elie, your words pierced me and as I said I only wish that I could give you the answer you seek. Maybe that post was still in the back of my mind, but as I wrote earlier I could swear that during the crash I could hear Unetaneh Tokef being chanted.
If you had been sitting next to me you would have heard me begin cursing as soon as I knew that there was no way to prevent the collision. When the airbag hit me in the face I was irritated and for a moment afterwards I was angry. That is why I spent a moment sitting in the car. It was time to compose myself and maintain some perspective.
One of the primary purposes of this blog is to serve as a place that my children and grandchildren can learn a little bit more about who I am and maybe learn something that will help make life easier for them. Whenever it is that you see this I want you to remember a few things.
First, a father's love is fierce and unending. To paraphrase Pete Rose I would walk through hell covered in gasoline to get to you. Second, never forget to take a moment and consider the things that you have been through and always try to learn from your experiences.
Abba loves you now and forever.
The Odyssey To Purchasing a Honda Odyssey
This past July I wrote about my encounter with The Car Salesman. It was followed up by another post about the process and then silence because in the end the decision was made to put off purchasing a new car until some time in 2006.
However G-d laughs when we plan. I was given a brief reminder about this during this past weekend. And because someone, something or the aliens in the sky think that I am funny they made my life more interesting today.
During my lunch hour the family drove me over to the car rental joint so that while I am without my own vehicle I could obtain transportation. In a crazy comedy of errors the rental dealer managed to take the car I was going to rent and backed it right into my wife's car.
WTF. It was a very small bump and wouldn't have been a big deal except that the guy driving the car pretended that the collision didn't happen and started to walk away. Add a couple more ingredients to this mix, being rain and a screaming child whose voice could shatter windows and you can imagine how much fun you missed.
In any case I am now driving a fancy-shmancy (that's clevelandish for those who appreciate linguistics) Chevy Malibu until the two insurance companies can get their acts together and finalize the disposition of the old Honda Accord that used to serve as my chariot.
I am working with them to see that this is handled quickly and efficiently. Watch out car dealer dude, I am a coming for you.
However G-d laughs when we plan. I was given a brief reminder about this during this past weekend. And because someone, something or the aliens in the sky think that I am funny they made my life more interesting today.
During my lunch hour the family drove me over to the car rental joint so that while I am without my own vehicle I could obtain transportation. In a crazy comedy of errors the rental dealer managed to take the car I was going to rent and backed it right into my wife's car.
WTF. It was a very small bump and wouldn't have been a big deal except that the guy driving the car pretended that the collision didn't happen and started to walk away. Add a couple more ingredients to this mix, being rain and a screaming child whose voice could shatter windows and you can imagine how much fun you missed.
In any case I am now driving a fancy-shmancy (that's clevelandish for those who appreciate linguistics) Chevy Malibu until the two insurance companies can get their acts together and finalize the disposition of the old Honda Accord that used to serve as my chariot.
I am working with them to see that this is handled quickly and efficiently. Watch out car dealer dude, I am a coming for you.
Stallone Agrees To Star in Rocky 49
At the ripe old age of 127 Sylvester Stallone has agreed to star in Rocky 49 in which he will battle the King of Grilling, George Foreman, and a rematch against a slightly younger Clubber Lang/Mr. T.
Ok, in reality Stallone has agreed to do Rocky VI.
Ok, in reality Stallone has agreed to do Rocky VI.
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) -Sylvester Stallone is signing on to reprise his role as boxer Rocky Balboa in the sixth installment of the long-running film series, which he wrote and will direct.Tags: MoviesThe film, titled "Rocky Balboa," will be co-produced and co-financed by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Columbia Pictures and Revolution Studios and will be distributed by Columbia Pictures.
Stallone has been trying to make a sixth movie for years and has been reworking a script. The latest version, which sources said is similar to the tone and grit of the first two movies, persuaded the studios to negotiate a deal.
"In many ways, the screenplay really took me back to the original 'Rocky,"' Revolution Studios founder Joe Roth said in a statement. "As a past champion, Rocky Balboa is once again a regular guy who has to find himself and deal with real life. This film brings Rocky's story full circle."
In the new installment, Rocky, lonely and retired in Philadelphia, comes out of retirement, intending to fight a few low-profile local fights. He's approached to fight a match with reigning heavyweight champ Mason "The Line" Dixon, and soon his comeback ignites a media firestorm.
"'Rocky Balboa' is about everybody who feels they want to participate in the race of life, rather than be a bystander," Stallone said in a statement. "You're never too old to climb a mountain, if that's your desire."
The Hanging Toe Nail
Hi Folks,
The Shmata Queen has a little problem that she needs your help with.
The Shmata Queen has a little problem that she needs your help with.
"And in other news, I did something to my big toe. When I was walking in my house, one of the girls' toys slid under my toe nail and when I took a step forward it pushed my toe nail up and bent it back so far that my nail is now hanging off. Gross. Yuck. And more than that: OUCH. It hurts! Really badly!!!"She doesn't know what to about this, so if you are a medical professional or have any expertise in this area please feel free to share it. Thank you, that is all.
Another Meme- 7 Things
I have been tagged by several people, including The Shmata Queen and will meet the challenge, or try to.
7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Go skydiving
2. Live in Israel
3. Visit India
4. Own a house that has a real library in it.
5. Paint an entire town red. I'll make that Christo guy look like a piker.
6. Visit outer space.
7. Buy a jetpack and fly myself around town.
7 things I can do:
1. make fun of cleveland and detroit
2. I can write.
3. I can give speeches on numerous topics.
4. I snore loudly, so loudly that the dead are awoken.
5. Bark like a dog.
6. Make up entertaining stories.
7. Fairly accurately intuit what someone is going to say or do
7 things I cannot do:
1. Play a musical instrument
2. Sing well
3. Eat Brussel Sprouts
4. Eat whatever I want
5. You know I kind of hate saying that I can't do something. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
6. Limit myself. I always figure out a way to do whatever it is.
7. Dance all night long wrapped in nothing but a feather boa.
Things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Sense of humor
2. Intelligence
3. Creativity
4. Intelligence
5. Strength
6. Eyes
7 things that I say most often:
1. The truth of the matter is
2. I sound ridiculous
3. All sorts of things
4. If that makes you feel better
5. I will not tell you why I am laughing
6. I am debating
7. Move!
7 people I want to do this:
If you want to do this, be my guest.
7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Go skydiving
2. Live in Israel
3. Visit India
4. Own a house that has a real library in it.
5. Paint an entire town red. I'll make that Christo guy look like a piker.
6. Visit outer space.
7. Buy a jetpack and fly myself around town.
7 things I can do:
1. make fun of cleveland and detroit
2. I can write.
3. I can give speeches on numerous topics.
4. I snore loudly, so loudly that the dead are awoken.
5. Bark like a dog.
6. Make up entertaining stories.
7. Fairly accurately intuit what someone is going to say or do
7 things I cannot do:
1. Play a musical instrument
2. Sing well
3. Eat Brussel Sprouts
4. Eat whatever I want
5. You know I kind of hate saying that I can't do something. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
6. Limit myself. I always figure out a way to do whatever it is.
7. Dance all night long wrapped in nothing but a feather boa.
Things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Sense of humor
2. Intelligence
3. Creativity
4. Intelligence
5. Strength
6. Eyes
7 things that I say most often:
1. The truth of the matter is
2. I sound ridiculous
3. All sorts of things
4. If that makes you feel better
5. I will not tell you why I am laughing
6. I am debating
7. Move!
7 people I want to do this:
If you want to do this, be my guest.
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