"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."
— Groucho Marx
Google has started rolling out a fresh new redesign of its Google+ social network ,with enhancements like better navigation and larger photos, the company announced in a blog post today. “We’ve just begun the worldwide rollout of a more functional and flexible version of Google+,” wrote Google Senior VP Vic Gundotra on his Google+ page. “We think you’ll find it easier to use and nicer to look at, but most importantly, it accelerates our efforts to create a simpler, more beautiful Google.” Google has bet the entire company on social, for better or worse — with Google+ tying in to other services like YouTube and Docs. In a recent company update, CEO Larry Page said Google+ had more than 100 million active users, a sign the strategy is working. Of course, one caveat is how the company defines “active.” If a person accidentally finds themselves on Google+ once a month (which is easy to do), is he or she an active user?
Now if I can only find more time in the day I might be able to make better use of this new design and all the bells/whistles that come with it.
It is noon on Tuesday afternoon. The sun is shining and my kids are on break.
Me? Well I have spent a chunk of time today trying to collect on money that people owe me. These dollars that I am chasing aren't in the pockets of friends or family nor are they loans to other people.
No, it is money I am due for work that I provided for others. Companies hired me to do freelance work months ago and didn't pay on a timely basis for no other reason than because they can.
They know that I am one person and that it is unlikely that I will bombard them with daily calls and or hire attorneys/collection agencies.
It is irritating, infuriating and unprofessional.
I won't work for them again, but that doesn't take care of the interest that I am not earning or the bills that I haven't tended to yet because they haven't paid me.
My work was turned in on time and published. It was used immediately. It was of good quality but even had it not been they still owe me. We had a signed agreement and they will honor it.
There is no doubt in my mind, but it irritates me that I have to chase after it. It irritates me that I am going to have to drive down to an office and demand to see whomever I need to see to get a check cut sooner than later.
Because when I say show me the money what I really mean is pay me. And this game that some of these people play is why I sometimes want to strangle the amateurs who foul up the system and make it harder for the rest of us.
And now that I have vented I want to invite you to come read:
Sometimes I am amazed by how relationships evolve and change through time. There are people we promise the world too because in our eyes they deserve it.
They deserve all that we can give and then a little bit more for no other reason than because we care for them. When it works the way it is supposed to you feel a little bit like God is smiling down upon you and you can't help but believe that the sunshine and blue skies are there just for you.
It is natural and normal for things to turn and evolve. It is not unexpected to see relationships move like the tide. There are moments where it is like high tide and then low tide comes.
Nothing wrong with low tide other than when you find yourself waiting for high tide and discover that it doesn't seem to be coming back.
If you are smart you don't panic because there are a million different reasons why that tide isn't coming back the way you want it to. So you head out into the sea and search for the thing that is blocking it. You look for answers to what is preventing those waves from rushing back to you.
But what do you do when you can't quite figure out what is obstructing the tide. What happens when you can't see the blockage or figure out how to remove it. Do you shrug your shoulders and move on because you can't tear down the dam that is preventing the water from returning.
Or do you set up camp on the beach so that you can watch and wait because it is not inconceivable that this blockage will be resolved by other forces.
It is a subjective question and you'll likely find that the answers vary tremendously among people. Ultimately you have to figure out which choice helps you sleep at night.
I am listening to Pavarotti sing and working on a variety of projects both personal and professional when suddenly I am hit by this thought:
One day you'll wake up and someone important will be gone from your life forever.
Telephone calls, texting, email, Facebook, blogging and every other form of communication not called memory will be useless.
What will you do when that happens.
It is not the first time that I have thought about this but today it hits me harder than normal. That is probably because it is the first Passover without some of the more important people in my life. It is not unexpected or surprising and I have always known that this would be coming.
But it is another reminder to me that time is short and that we have a limited window of opportunity to do certain things with friends and family.
Since this is a time of year in which we do a bit of spring cleaning it is also a time when I sit down and look at the physical and mental things in my life. I look at what I own in both places and try to figure out how to reduce the clutter.
I look for the things that just take up space and try to eliminate them. The physical stuff is really easy. It doesn't take more than a moment to decide whether something deserves to be carried around for another year.
But the mental side, well that isn't always as clear cut. That is where I look at the promises I have made and who I have made them to so that I can try to decide if things have changed.
I probably should clarify and say that I don't focus on everything, just the stuff that jumps out at me. These are things that for a variety of reasons demand my attention.
Relatively few things capture my attention in this way. Over time I have become quite adept at limiting that which requires my eye but those who do, well they do it.
So What
So what is the question that I pose after I acknowledge their presence. It is what I say when I think about whether they deserve my attention and the energy I have devoted to them. Not everything does and sometimes it is easy to just let go.
But those others, well I don't always let go when I see a reason not to. Sometimes that is because I see opportunity and value that isn't worth throwing away. Sometimes I see reasons why it makes sense to hang on a bit longer.
But there comes a time to say goodbye to everything and the question that you have to ask is what happens then. What happens when you aren't given the opportunity to reconsider decisions. What happens when you realize that you made a mistake and you want to try to fix it but can't because they are gone.
Sometimes life is more complex than we might like it to be.
P.S. some of my best stuff can be found over here.
Sometimes people say things they don't mean. Sometimes the things they say are really sweet or really mean. It is our choice to decide how we wish to respond to these words and how much weight we should assign to them.
It is something that I have been thinking about because recently some of those words have gotten stuck inside my head and I have felt them bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball. That damn thing ricochets off of this and that and I feel myself growing ever more irritated.
That fire that burns inside never goes out and when shit like that starts I feel the temperature go up a few notches. The words inside my mind aren't unleashed. I don't say everything that I am thinking. I don't unload the way that I can because it doesn't make sense.
I have learned to take a breath when heart battles head. If I set those words free I can guarantee that they will find their way under the skin. They cut to the quick and they are painful.
Lashing out might make me feel better for a moment but it doesn't necessarily serve my cause nor is it necessarily warranted.
So I step back and look at it all like I am playing chess. I measure, analyze and consider intent. Were they meant to be accepted at face value or were they just thrown out without any regard for consequences. Maybe it is somewhere in between.
I am the most impatient and patient man I know. I look out the window and ask if actions accompanied those words and think that maybe there is a contradiction between what is said and what is done.
When I find that inconsistency I call bullshit and say that I don't buy what is being sold so I shrug my shoulders and head a different direction.
There are holes in this story. Giant, gaping holes that will be filled one day, maybe.
