April 18, 2015


There is no better word than Metamorphosis to describe this moment in time. A period of excitement and some fear but an undying belief that I will figure it out.

In a perfect world the transition from one stage into another would be seamless and easy but that is not what is happening here and overall I am ok with it,

Maybe it is because I realized long ago that I was in the midst of making some significant changes in my life and I understood it would take a while to process and proceed.

Fear prevented me from doing some of it before but I let go of that anchor weight and accepted I couldn't control what happened, I could only manage it.

You might argue that managing it has slowed it down and that it would be easier to just rip off the bandage. I wouldn't fight you about whether it would help because in many ways it would but I am not convinced it would be good for the kids to hit them with too much at once.

So I choose to slow the train and ease on down the road.

The face I see in the mirror doesn't belong to who I was anymore. The guy I see there is someone I like most of the time, but there are moments where I tell him his idiocy is what led to all this.

Yet I agree that it also is the reason for the good stuff too. That is just how life goes.

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