November 30, 2009

The Morning After

Needless to say that last post was both painful and cathartic. It took a lot out of me, much of it being frustration and anger. That is not to suggest or say that writing removed the elements that are creating issues, it just helped me regain perspective.

That is something that I try to pass along to my children, perspective. Perspective is a very useful tool. It helps us place the challenges we face in a context that we can understand and deal with. Imagine jumping into ice cold water. The shock of the cold temperature can leave you breathless and focused solely upon trying to find a way to warm up.

But if you can stay calm and take a moment to become acclimated to the new situation things will look different.

It is easy to say, but not always easy to do. I struggle with it. It is a constant battle not to just react, but to think and consider carefully what choices to make. Obviously we are talking about the bigger events and occasions here. The question of how to appropriately respond to health and or financial issues is far different than determining what to eat for dinner.

Perspective makes it all easier to do, sometimes. You can tell me about starving children, homeless people and or the terminally ill and how they have a harder life than I do. I'll agree that they do because that is truth. However it doesn't completely remove the sting and or pain of my own struggles.

I feel badly for those people. I can empathize and sympathize about their situation, but it doesn't pay the mortgage or put food on my table. It doesn't remove the bureaucratic red tape that I am currently dealing with in other situations. Do you really think that because some one died I am going to say that I don't mind that a 30 day process has taken almost six months.

Not going to happen. So perspective is useful, but it is not a panacea for all of the challenges we face in life. At least this how I feel today. I expect that 20 years ago I might have felt differently just as 20 years from now I may also have a different opinion.

If I am still blogging then maybe I'll remember to come back and re-read this and see if I still hold the same opinion.


Kelly @ The Miller Mix said...

I know it's not exactly the same thing, but I always feel like I can better process my thoughts and feelings after I write through them.

I'm wishing you more calm as you navigate your course.

Jack said...

Hi Kelly,

It works. Typing things out helps to clarify my thoughts. I don't always feel better, but I understand how I got to this position better.

shavuatov said...

I wonder if it is something to do with age? I'll be 40 next year and I get increasingly frustrated with bureaucracy, idiocy, incompetence and the like. I also feel an urge to be more proactive, take a risk, do something that could be make or break, rather than just going along with the flow. I don't have children, but I bring in the bread, keep the financial wheels oiled and that is a big risk. But at the same time, I don't want to be on my death-bed thinking 'If Only....'

And in the past week, I have written a 7 page letter to somebody, getting out all the things that have been upsetting me for years, onto the paper. I then shredded it. I feel better. My back problems have lessened considerably (tension, gone). For me, this works. It hasn't resolved the issues, but got them out of my head. I can poke at them and they don't make me go 'ouch' any more.

Jack said...

Age seems to have some sort of impact upon this, or so it seems to me. I just feel time like I never used to.