Rules For Dating My Daughter

This past weekend the mother of one of the boys in my daughter's class told me that she loves the dark haired beauty and would be happy to have her as a daughter-in-law. Lest anyone understand, she wasn't serious. It was a compliment for my girl.

Anyway, I looked her in the eye and explained that there are rules for dating my daughter. She laughed and asked me to tell her what they are.

I told her that any boy that wishes to date my daughter must face me in single combat. If they can defeat me than they are allowed to ask her out. I figure that for a while there won't be any man alive who will be able to serve as a better protector than I will.

Of course she is one of the primary reasons why I work out each day. When the day arrives that the boys come looking for her hand I want to be viewed as a dangerous and imposing force. Let them wonder what lies behind the steely glare.

At least I hope that they will. If they are as dumb as I was hormones will push them into taking a chance to dance in the flames. Oy, I am so not ready for this. ;)


Holy Hyrax said...

With proper train, i can get you ready for the inevitable. It will require, blood and sweat. You'll have to chase chickens, run miles, piledrive live cows, eat raw bees. After that you will be ready.

But to begin, I will need money for supplies. Just send me a check as soon as you can. Don't worry about the cost. Just send me a blank check with a signature on it and I will take care of the rest.


therapydoc said...

You're wonderful, Jack.

Jack Steiner said...


I have four sisters and close to 40 years of experience. You wouldn't believe the tricks I have up my sleeve. But I do appreciate the offer.

OTOH, could be fun to give you a check. Can't wait to see you try to cash it. ;)


Thank you. We'll see what the daughter has to say about it. Something tells me that there are more than a few battles coming down the pipeline.

Anonymous said...

in effect you could scare away your daughters potential partners...fighting is just one aspect of being a man..."the more you learn how to fight the more you have to learn not too" im sure i will not let my future daughter go with a "weakling" but if you truly have been training for 40 years then whats the kid gonna do, train for 40 years to get up to your level then beat you and ask out your now 40 years older daughter...really? maybe put it to him tht u would like him to come to a training with you and watch to see if he can handle himself ina ring or when facing tuff isnt in the body it is a mind set,and mind sets change constantly, check tht he knows what "tuff" is and tht he know's when and how to use it...tht might be a bett idea

p.s i write poetry and i'm small and white but when my brother went to jail my mind set changed and i used to go into town and smash any bastard i could get my hands on...the bigger the better...i'm also part maori thow, and well maori's are maori's regardless of skin, we muck shit up when we need too,hahahah PEACE OUT MAN!

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