February 03, 2009

The Bill Collector

There are some days that I wonder why I bothered to get out of bed because I am certain that the world has decided that on that particular day the theme is "Kick Jack." Today is one of those days in which it seems that I am shooting dice, except that they are loaded. It would be easy to whine about all of the crap I am wading through and the truth is that I want to.

I am going to take a slightly different approach and share a telephone call with you. This morning I received a telephone call from a bill collector. He identified himself as being employed by the major corporation whose credit card I carry.

Let's go the recap:

Bill Collector: Sir, I want to let you know that you cannot use your card until you pay your bill.
Jack: Am I overdue? I believe that I paid the bill.

Bill Collector: You are correct. You paid the bill.
Jack: Am I overdrawn or overdue in some other way?

Bill Collector: No. But we'd like you to pay your balance of XYZ right now. I can take a phone payment.
Jack: I just looked at the statement and it is not due until the end of this week. Why are you calling and why are you saying that I can't use my card.

Bill Collector: Sir, there is no preset limit on this card, but we do set limits based upon your spending history and credit reports that we might have checked.
Jack: You just told me that there is no preset limit, but you told me that there is a limit.

Bill Collector: Yes, that is correct.
Jack: How long have I been a cardholder?

Bill Collector: Twenty years sir.
Jack: Twenty years. Is there a note in my file saying that I don't pay my bill?

Bill Collector: No, there is nothing of the sort. We just want you to be able to use the card.
Jack: Ok, you just told me that due date is at the end of the week, that I am not behind on payment and that there is no preset limit.

Bill Collector: Correct.
Jack: And you told me that even though I am not late and there is no preset limit, I can't use the card until I pay the bill.

Bill Collector: Correct.
Jack: I don't like being treated like Lou Costello.

Bill Collector: Who is Lou Costello?
Jack: Never mind that. What is going on here, why did you call me?

Bill Collector: To see that you pay your bill.
Jack: I see, should I call you Guido. This doesn't make any sense.

Bill Collector: Pay your bill with me now and you can use the card this afternoon.
Jack: You don't set policy, but I am more than a little irritated. I have a twenty year history that you just said has no blemishes upon it and you're trying to strong arm me into paying you today.

I think that you get the gist of the conversation. Makes me feel so good to know that they want to chase me for a couple hundred dollars while simultaneously asking the government to give them money.

If you'll forgive me for being quite crude I like to be kissed before I get fucked. But this is part of the joy of the current financial situation. There is something very wrong here and I am offended by it.

And now if you'll excuse me I need to attend to some other matters. The line to kick Jack forms in the rear.


Robyn said...

Are you sure it wasn't scammers?

Jack said...

I am positive that it wasn't a scam.

Michael said...

I hate bill collectors. My wife and I got a call from one in Texas (this was a few years ago), demanding payment for a paid-off and cancelled credit card.

I'll admit, we had let that card go into default, but we had then cleared the matter, and cancelled the card. A debt collector purchased an outdated collections list, and chased us down.

He stopped calling the fourth or fifth time I told him to @#$^ off and contact the credit card company.

Anyway, the moral is: don't pay 'em! they don't deserve it...

Jay said...

Doesn't quite make sense to me. I would've just ignored it and used other cards, and they'd be simply driving away business. It just doesn't make sense.

The conversation is certainly short on fourplay btw.

was from said...

Sounds like harassment to me,especially if your account is not in arrears, (that is no payment for 3 months) but I'm from Canada, so I'm not familiar with the practices in the US.

Anonymous said...

I decided to do the responsible thing and pay down a large amount I owed on one of my cards, with a perfect payment history. Next thing I know they cut my limit down to $500. This was the card I was pretty much using exclusively. When I called them they told me that it was after a review of the account. After pressing the person on the other end they could actually not provide me a good reason. Sign of the times.

Anonymous said...

i am a bill collector i admitt we call people even after being one day late especially you all who have bad credit but we dont call if you were over your limit. The company theoretically wants you to be over the limit more money for them. so this was no doubt a scam.