The Slumber Party

It is heading towards 12:45, that is A.M. as in well after midnight. I have a houseful of eight year-old boys. They came over for dinner and spent the night, the first slumber party. I think that I am suffering from shell shock or some sort of P.T.S.D. because there is a ringing in my ears and I swear that I can hear thems shrieking.

Yes I said shrieking. At one point I was heard to say to the wife, "I can't wait until their testicles drop into place,or puberty or whatever it takes to remove this shrieking. Please, give them deeper voices."

And then I fell down upon the couch laughing hysterically. Don't ask me why I was laughing or what was so funny, I don't know. All I can tell you is that for about 30 seconds I considered moving to cleveland. And then I decided that if I was willing to subject myself to that kind of pain I might as well be institutionalized.

We went to a local pizza place and bought dough. The boys rolled the dough and then covered it in sauce and cheese. They loved it. We played a few board games and spent time screwing around with the Wii too. They loved that as well.

Somehow we made it through the night with only one set of tears and a minimal amount of chaos. Ok, minimal is a complete fabrication on my part. There was a lot. Because I am a sick man we helped the kids make ice cream sundaes. Sugar was exactly what they needed.

Eventually they got into their sleeping bags and then the real fun began. All sorts of noises began to emanate from the room, accompanied by much laughter. Eight-year-old boys love this kind of stuff. I waltzed in to try to suggest that we turn the volume down a bit and nearly gagged. My word, one of the lads was trying to expel the foul demon that had crawled up inside him.

I seriously questioned their sanity. When attacked with biological or chemical weapons of this nature you get the flock out. Don't wait, just get out. And they didn't. Instead they laughed and giggled for what felt like hours.

And now while I should be sucking up as much sleep as possible I find it impossible. My ears are still ringing. Chaos is still roaming through the compound. So I am hopeful that the few minutes it takes to prepare this post will allow me to gain some much needed perspective so that I can fall asleep.

Either that or I am throwing some clothes into a bag and hitting the door. I can be in Vegas in less than five hours. Come to think of it, Vegas sounds good about now. Got to run before they wake. See you all later.


Mrs. S. said...

Hosting a slumber party for eight-year-old boys?!! There should be some sort of medal of bravery for that sort of thing...

Was it a birthday party? If so, happy birthday to your son.

SuperRaizy said...

Now you know what it feels like to be an elementary school teacher.

Esser Agaroth said...


You actually slept?

Cleveland? It's cold in Cleveland....VERY COLD.

Yep, Vegas sounds good right now.

Damn, what a bad time for me to have given up drinking, gambling, and whore mongering.

At least it's warm there.

Michael said...

I'm glad I have daughters, Jack.

Leora said...

Cleveland? Yes, Vegas sounds better. Less snow, and I doubt you would get along well with the many Telshe types in Cleveland.

The one and only time my 12-year-old had a sleepover I had to send about 3 of them home. One got sick, one couldn't sleep because of the others, two were fighting so much that I had to separate one. I think that was when my son turned 9, so most of the boys were 8. Now he's just allowed one boy at a time, and we send them both to the basement.

Jack Steiner said...

Mrs. S,

Yes, it was a bday party. Thank you.


Actually I used to be a teacher. Long time ago.


I am not moving to the mistake by the lake. Just a flip comment.


I have one. You catch it on all sides. ;)


Basements are rare in California. But Vegas does sound nice.

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