November 10, 2008

Gay Marriage- Proposition 8

This post will probably be relatively graphic in nature so if you're easily offended this is your chance to skip it. If you want to know what I think without the gratuitous commentary you can find it here and here.

I have been wracking my brain trying to find a way to understand the thought process of those who oppose gay or same sex marriage. I have tried to understand their logic. One supporter of Prop. 8 told me that for thousands of years marriage has been understood to be between a man and a woman.

Ok. We could make the same argument about how it was understood that the Earth was flat, the moon was made out of cheese or that the sun revolves around the Earth. All of these were proven to be false, but for a considerable period of time these positions were understood to be true.

A guy at the gym tried to tell me that he was against it because it was unnatural. He was granted the gift of being told that he is an idiot to his face. A short time before this talk he told me that he and his wife love anal sex. So I told him that a lot of people think that shoving his friend up his wife's ass is unnatural. Not to mention a number of the other things that the two of them enjoy doing together.

Someone else told me that they thought that gay marriage would promote promiscuity. Now it just so happens that I know that this guy shtupped his way through college. A graduate of YULA he was famous for his escapades with a number of different women. So I asked him how he could justify his position when we knew that he had been sticking John Thomas wherever and whenever he could.

He laughed and said that it was different. I asked him about a moment in his school days when the mother of a girlfriend walked in on them. He still remembers her saying "Oh, I see that you're busy." Managed to laugh at the memory and then tried to tell me again that it is different.

But the thing is that it is not different. Heterosexual and Homosexuals have sexual urges that we act or do not act upon. Heterosexuality is not a guarantee that a marriage will be successful. It is not a guarantee that they won't divorce, cheat, or have the same domestic issues that all couples do.

So I find myself asking what the big deal is. I find myself asking what people are so scared of. Oh I know, someone told me that this would open marriage up to crazy things. Someone might marry their dog, their sheep or their motorcycle. Well, I think that I am ok with saying that if you choose to marry an animal you have a problem. Animals are not people and while they deserve respect there are limitations.

But that is how some people try to get around on this issue. They come up with a totally ridiculous example and say that it is representative of everything that falls under that category.

I just don't get it. If two people love each other and want to make a loving commitment to each other why would we try to prevent it.


shavuatov said...

Jack - that was so well written, as were the other two posts on the same theme.

Thank you.


ilanadavita said...

Good post!
May I ask where the other two posts on the subject are?

tamaraeden said...

Wow. I haven't been by the shack in a long while.

I like your post. It's well written and calmly argued. I agree with you. I also don't understand it. I mean, I get it, but that doesn't mean it's right. I think another fair argument is that the homosexuals who are getting married are not the people who are gay bar hopping. They aren't the folks who go to Balboa Park in San Diego (I lived there for 10 years, not in the park of course) at dusk in order to find someone to have sex with in the bushes. These are not the people who go to rest stops along highways to hook up.

These are marriage minded people.

The other argument I don't get is the semantic one. Many people I know are fine with Civil Unions but not "Gay Marriage". They feel the term marriage is reserved for the "traditional" combo of male/female relations.

Anyway, thanks again. And we're still wondering when we're meeting up for breakfast at C. E.

Jack said...




There are links to them at the top of this post.


You're right, they aren't the same people. Unfortunately many of the opponents like to try to claim otherwise.

ilanadavita said...

Jack, thanks.