What I am Thinking Right Now

Last five songs on my iTunes:

Seven Bridges Road
The Eagles
Hotel California
The Eagles
Get Over It
The Eagles
Son of a Preacher Man
Dusty Springfield
It don't Mean a Thing [If it ain't got that swing]
Duke Ellington

One day some boy is going to catch my daughter's eye. Said boy is going to have less than honorable intentions towards her. As the older brother of three sisters I learned how to encourage boys to treat them with respect. I need to teach my older son all of those tricks and more.

Note to self: enroll son in ninja camp as soon as possible. Hormones make boys/men do stupid things. I need help.

I finally gave in and watched 24. Loved it. Knew that I would. Now I am stuck with another television show. One day I am going to get rid of my television and computer. No really, one day I will. Impulsive man that I am, it will happen. Of course I may be dead before I give up the computer.

Note to self: check on computer addiction treatment. Bytes, blogs and beeps make boys/men do stupid things. I need help.

Tomorrow is MLK day. He was murdered a little less than a year before I was born. Strange to think that my formative years were so close to the beginning of the civil rights movement. What year was the act passed, '64? History is relative. More on this later.

I never doubted Marty Schottenheimer. That is I never doubted that he is a lousy playoff coach. Still like Peyton.

Next five songs on iTunes:

The End
The Doors
Last Dance
Donna Summer
The Boys Of Summer
Don Henley
Brothers In Arms
Dire Straits
The Man's Too Strong
Dire Straits

The End- this is one of those college songs. By that I mean that for a while there was a mandate that at the end of the evening it would have to be played. There'd be somewhere around seven to ten people left in various states of sobriety and someone would put it on.

Inevitably someone else would make some kind of Vietnam reference, usually to a movie we had seen like Apocalypse Now or Platoon. Of course Vietnam was the war of our older brothers/parents. What the hell did we know about it.

Last Dance- Reminds me of that movie Thank God Its Friday. Wasn't that what it was called. It was in the midst of the whole disco era.

Boys of Summer- That is a song that reminds me of an ex-girlfriend or two. What can I say, summer lovin happened so fast.

Dire Straits- Israel 1985. Richie's Pizza, Phil Collins No Jacket Required, A future that was so incredibly bright. I couldn't have imagined what things are like now.

Next Five Songs

Isadora
David Broza
Young Americans
David Bowie
Southern Cross
Crosby, Stills & Nash
Lux Aeterna
Clint Mansell
This Is Radio Clash
The Clash

Sometimes I like to listen to sad music. Sometimes I just need to put myself in that place. Sometimes I doubt myself. Sometimes I feel like the choices I have made have been the wrong choices. Sometimes I feel like I am always fighting. Sometimes I feel like screaming. Sometimes I pound on the heavy bag in my garage.

I like the feeling. I like the sound of the gloves on the bag. I like watching it sway too and fro. I pretend that I am back in the ring. I am stalking my opponent. I am patient. He'll let down his guard. He'll mistake my willingness to take a blow for weakness and then I'll just unload.

And then I'll come out of there. I'll be covered in sweat. My arms will ache and my breath will be short, but I'll feel better. I'll feel better because of the adrenalin rush. I'll feel like I have beaten my demons back. I'll feel like I can do it.

And then I'll remember that I can and that I do. I'll remember that there is no guidebook. I'll remember that it is easy to look back and shake your head at the mistakes you have made, but it is also easy to see the victories.

Last Five of the evening:

Theme from Harry's Game
Clannad
The Devil Went Down To Georgia
The Charlie Daniels Band
Time Has Come Today
Chambers Bros.
Minnie the Moocher
Cab Calloway
Gonna Make You Sweat
C+C Music Factory