May 26, 2006

How To Build More Traffic to Your Blog

I wrote this list about 18 months ago. Time to dust it off and see if any of it was worth a damn.
  1. Run around cyberspace and insult everyone you come in contact with on their blogs.
  2. Come back to your blog and insult them some more in the hope that they will come and visit.
  3. Post banner ads promoting your site as a resource for free sex, viagra and penis enlargement.
  4. Hire an African Elephant to march through Manhattan with a sign promoting your blog.
  5. Tell people that if they sign a petition on your Blog Bush will be recalled.
  6. Tell people that if they sign a petition on your Blog gay marriage will be abolished.
  7. Send press releases to major media groups announcing your new reality TV show about a person and their blog.
  8. Create a virus that forces computers to make your blog their homepage. Not legal, but it could be very effective.
  9. Hire DovBear to create a P.R. campaign for your blog.
  10. Ignore dumb and idiotic lists like this one.

10 comments:

Genevieve said...

And you can tweak the Blogger bar so that "Next Blog" opens in a new window -- that keeps'em on your blog once you get'em there.

I saw this on a blog tonight.

I think it's just a slow time in the blogs. No one I know is posting anything; no one is visiting.

kasamba said...

AHA!!!
So that's how you did it!!!!

cruisin-mom said...

I really need to start insulting more people

jim said...

The List, you should have kept the dust and thrown the list out.

number 5, I'll have two of those.

number 3, bet not many need that.

the insulting part happens for me almost automatically on certain blogs, i have no control over it, others get the opposite. trying either doesn't seem to work.

i've seen your comments around and admired your work, i'd say the tv producers will be after you pretty soon.

have you met the jewishsexpert yet? maybe you should.

well, let me see what else you got i can pretend to know something about.

Jack's Shack said...

Genevieve,

That is a pretty decent suggestion.

Kasamba,

Every time I read your name I think of juicy melons. It is summertime which means that it is the perfect time for canteloupe, watermelon and kasamba.

Randi,

Go for it. ;)

Jim,

I am just an ordinary joe.

Ezzie said...

Well, I kinda hit #9, and definitely did #10, and it worked! So... yay Jack!?

tafka PP said...

Or you could write a secret undercover blog purporting to be about sex in the holy city.

BaconEating AtheistJew said...

This is how to do it.

Your list is crap. My list is great.
Note:I'm trying to see if your insult idea has any merit.

judi said...

You could also give away free beer.

Jack's Shack said...

Ezzie,

So I hear.

PP,

Now there is an idea.

Bacon,

My son has better insults. Better try again. ;)

Judi,

Nope, the beer is mine.