July 26, 2005

Am I The Father I Ought To Be

This is a question I ask myself. Am I the father I ought to be. Do I give my children all that I can. Most of the time I feel pretty good about it, but there are moments where I feel like I am falling short of the mark.

Sometimes I look at myself and I wonder how my father did it. I only have two children and he had four. For years he took care of all of us and he did it with an exceptional work ethic. Do I work as hard for my family as he did for us/

Sometimes I wonder.

Am I giving myself enough credit. Am I giving him too much credit.

Sometimes I wonder.

My gut tells me that if you do not worry about this, if you do not spend a few minutes of your life worried about how you are doing then there is a big problem. It doesn't matter if you are a billionaire or poor, there are some things that money cannot buy.

And there are times when you try to do the right thing and somehow you end up feeling badly about it. Fortunately there haven't been too many of these, but the few moments I have had in which I walked away feeling badly were horrible.

In the end I follow my father and grandfather's advice to do the best that I can. I try to live in a way that lets me sleep at night, but sometimes my best just doesn't feel like it is enough. Oy.


A Simple Jew said...


I think the man who is a good father is the man who asks himself if he is a good father.

I enjoyed reading your thoughts in this posting.

Michael said...

I find that it is more than being a great father. I want to be their friend. I want to be their hero. I want my world to revolve around them like their world revolves around me.

Sometimes giving them what they need, being a father, means that you lose some of the rest of it.

Take Care

Edgy Mama said...

Oh God, I was up til 3:00 a.m. thinking the same thoughts. For what it's worth, thinking about who you are as a parent is probably a good exercise. Of course, after obsessing half the night about being a bad mum, I'm now ignoring my kids while I read blogs!

Jack's Shack said...

Hi SJ,

Thanks, I appreciate it.


It is hard to find that balance.

Jack's Shack said...

Edgy Mama,

I know far too well what those restless nights are like.

The Misanthrope said...

Just the fact that you are thinking about it proves you are a good dad.

Air Time said...

Sometimes I'm a good dad, other times a great dad, and occasionally, a really bad dad. The worst part is you can't tell from approval ratings, the smile on your kids face or the tears flowing down their cheeks.

When my son (age 9) needed his baseball glove relaced the other night, and I told him to try it, which he did for a second before giving up, what was the right response?

I fixed it, showed him what I was doing, and then pulled the lace out and told him to do it himself now. He started to cry, because why was I making him do something that was hard for him but easy for me. But I think I did the right Dad thing.

Eventually, he fixed the glove but was still pissed about it.

What about when they ask for the hundredth time to watch a video and cave in. They are happy, but did I just drop the Dad ball.

Jack's Shack said...




Sometimes you have to drop the ball to have the energy to carry it later on.