Awards Talk

Dear Jack,

I read with great pleasure about your nomination for those awards and wanted to know your thoughts about them. I see that you are competing against Miriam and Paul, DovBear, Chayyei Sarah, Yourish and some others. How do you think they'll do against your blog and how do you intend to compete?

Sincerely,

Moishe P.

Dear Moishe,

You placed me in an awkward situation as you only listed some of my competition. In the interest of fairness I could and should list all of the others, but I am far too lazy to do so. So here are my thoughts regarding them.

DovBear: Feed him a couple of Scooby Snacks and he'll disappear for a while. Better yet, let him know about some angry Jewish Red staters who are holding a protest against something. He'll be tied up with that for a while.

Bloghead: Give Paul and Miriam a tip on some esoteric piece of Judaic news and they'll disappear for a while as well only to reappear with a very interesting, well written piece that is both intriguing and surprising.

ChayyeiSarah- Take her azimonim, telephone cards and cut off the electricity to her apartment. Then slip an invitation under her door for a special Israeli blogger dinner in a little cafe in Afula. Be sure to do the same for Captain Bogner and Allison. Might as well try and lock up all the competition.

Yourish: What do Jews from New Jersey know from blogging.

Ok, none of this makes sense, is remotely interesting or funny, but one of these other blogs just might be. Go check out the awards and read some of the other blogs. Most of them are populated by people much nicer than I am.

Dear Jack,

I am not Jewish and I have never been to Israel. Would you like me to vote for you?

Thanks,

Tom

Dear Tom,

If you are looking for ways to help me you could come and do the dishes. I hate doing dishes. If I had my way I'd eat off of edible plates every day. Or if you don't like doing the dishes you can paint my house, it needs some work.

Alternatively, you can simply keep reading the blog to see what else might come out of my mouth. I never know until it is written down before me.

-Jack