More From the Mailbag

Wow, who would have thought I could get so much mileage from the mailbag. I may have to make this a permanent part of life in the shack.

Dear Jack,

Could you provide us with more background on your life?

Thank you,

Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,

Yes, I could.

Dear Jack,

If you were stranded on a desert island could only bring a few items what would they be?

Thank you,

A Curious Stranger

Dear Curious,

I like your handle because it reminds me of Curious George and he is one of my favorite monkeys. I have a question for you, in these scenarios why are the islands always described as being desert? I am guessing that people keep leaving off the "ed" because by definition an island is surrounded by water and has an unlimited supply of moisture at it's disposal.

So if I was going to be placed on a deserted island I would want to bring along my seven wives, the professor from Gilligans's island, the 1984 Edition of the World book encyclopedia and my entire CD and DVD collections.

But wait, you say, 'islands do not have electricity.' Silly monkey, that is why I am bringing the professor. If you ever watched Gilligan's Island you know that with a simple coconut and a bicycle the professor can provide enough power to light up the entire island.

Dear Jack,

Why are you so ornery?

Signed,

I hate you, you mean bastard.

Dear Mean Bastard,

I plan on becoming a full fledged curmudgeon by the time I am 40. So Scram!