December 21, 2010

Why Mothers Are Overrated

It is long past time to write about why mothers are overrated. The post where we point out that you are all crazy women who send your children to school with mismatched clothes, hair that hasn't been brushed, runny noses and lunches that aren't the epitome of health.

Yep, ladies I have your number. You who scream at your children to move because you are going to be late to school, who swore that you would never turn into your mother but are now her clone, I see you. I see your minivans come flying down the street and remember the girl who wouldn't leave her house without looking just so.

You swore that you would be different and that you wouldn't be that mom. You vowed to be better because you would plan better, care more and be smarter about it all. I am sure that you didn't mean to be smug about it because you are caring women.

Women who knew that you could do it all because you always had. Certain that you would find a way to lose the baby weight quickly and that you would never lose that spark with your husband. Sure, you knew that there would be some changes and that it might affect you but thanks to your girlfriends and mothers you were one step ahead of the game.

And yet it didn't quite work out that way. Things just didn't fall into place and now the secret is out. You aren't the mother you want to be and everyone knows it. It is obvious. Just look around and you see the other ladies who are better at it.

Their hair is still the same color as it was when they were in college and they can wear whatever clothes they want. Their cars aren't filled with empty food wrappers, toys, sticky spots and all sorts of assorted junk. Face it, this is just more proof.

You don't hear fathers complaining about these things. You don't see us worrying about skinny jeans, lunches or home cooked meals. We don't look at the other dads and complain how unfair it is that they still have a perfect ass or bitch about why they don't deserve whatever it is they have.

I suppose that we could do all those things but that is not our gig, We are men and most of us never notice if we show up wearing the same suit as the other guys.

Ok ladies, I suppose that it is about time to say that I am screwing with you. Moms aren't overrated at all, the fact is that most of the child rearing stuff is handled by you. You still tend to do more cooking than we do too. But the real point isn't to start a discussion about who does more or who is more valuable.

Because our roles are different and they are both valuable. Not to mention that there are growing numbers of stay at home dads too, but that still is a different story.

Nope, the real point here is that I can't go a week without stumbling across 1,298 posts by moms who cry about being inferior or insecure about your mothering skills. I am willing to bet that most of you are better at it than you realize. I don't say that to blow sunshine up your behind or to curry favor either.

It is just an observation that the population isn't shrinking. Every generation worries that it is weaker than the one before. The one thing that fathers seem to be better at is second guessing ourselves. We don't do it with the frequency that moms do or so it seems to me.

But again, that is neither here nor there. There is no single way to parent. No roadmap or guidebook that can be applied across the board. I think that many of us would be much happier if we could let go of some of these insecurities and just accept that.

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