March 09, 2010
A Role Model for My Children
At the moment I feel very much like Luke, I am angry and frustrated. This eye infection makes reading exceptionally tough, one computer's hard drive is on the verge of failing, the land line (home phone) is dying, there are numerous repairs to be made around the house and a crap load of other stuff.
So I am inclined to give in to the dark side. It would be fun and a release to say that I don't give a fuck and lose the restraints. Take the damn shackles off of my arms and legs because I am tired of them. I am done with feeling like someone has placed a yoke around my neck and is asking me to plow their field. No exaggeration on any of that, it is how I feel.
But I have these little creatures that live with me. Gremlins who share the same last name and look a bit like I do. The male has replicas of my hands and feet and the female has the same color hair and attitude.
And since they are around I have this need to guide and protect them. Part of that means that I have to shield them from these moments where I feel like screaming like a wild banshee. It is part of the Pressures of Parenting. It is not always easy to teach them to be responsible. Sometimes it is really hard.
But I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. I knew that there weren't do overs or second chances of the sort that allow you to turn back the clock. And I am ok with it. Because even though I am frustrated and angry I can watch videos like the one below and gain strength. I am a dreamer who sometimes pictures himself taking on a ton of villains and defeating them in combat.
I can't and won't let go because part of being a father is being the role model who shows that even when times get tough there is no quit. And that my friends is going to be a new post. Later on I will write about how a bunch of my son's friends have quit activities because they were too hard. It makes me crazy, but that is a topic for a different day.