November 02, 2009

Priorities: What I Need Versus What I Want

There are more than a couple of candy wrappers sitting on the desk in front of me. I'd like to lie and say that they were for carrots and celery, but you wouldn't believe that now would you. The iPod Touch is set to shuffle and Jimmy Buffet is singing Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw.

It is close to midnight or perhaps a few minutes thereafter. Some call it the witching hour, I call it quiet time. My favorite time to think deep thoughts. Quiet moments in which I let my mind wander wherever it will.

Three hours ago I sat by myself in a small cafe drinking Turkish coffee and watching traffic. One of the local papers lay open in front of me. A television behind me played bits from the news. The dread Gosselin divorce debacle and the crazy McCourts were mentioned and it got me thinking about life and what I wanted.

So I started to draw up a mental list of what I want. I intentionally didn't set any limits upon it. All things were possible, super strength, intelligence, the ability to fly, no problem. Add some cool Italian sports car, a house on the beach, private jets and unlimited wealth and you'd see a big smile on my face.

After a moment or two I let go of the fantasy and started to circle back to what was possible. I could show you my inner geek by talking about jetpacks and exoskeletons and how they could offer flight and super strength, but that is not really where I am going with this.

I want cash. As the boys used to say, cash money. It is not because I am materialistic, but because deep pockets offer some opportunities that I'd like to pursue. It would be great to have time to pursue some hobbies with more vigor. It would be amazing to be able to go back to college to get a degree in something just for the hell of it.

Dr. Jack would have degrees in Medicine, Archeology, History and more. It would be great. It would be incredible.

It was fun to think about. For a moment I closed my eyes, enjoyed the scent of the coffee and pictured myself wearing a Fedora a bullwhip. Or was it garbed in scrubs.

My day dream was interrupted by the sound of a horn honking and people shouting. As long as I had to come back to reality I figured I might as well focus on composing a list of what I need. It is an interesting question and one that can potentially change your life.

Is it a coincidence that Jimmy is singing A Pirate Looks at 40.

Anyway, it is life changing in the respect that it might give you some direction that you didn't have. Or maybe not. It is a subjective thing, this search for what you need. And it is something that is dynamic, it changes.What I wanted and what I needed in my twenties is not exactly what I am looking for.

If I wanted to get caught up in confusion I could find myself spinning in circles. You know, one could go crazy with fear that it is pointless to make choices now because you may change. I have more than a few friends who have remained single for this very reason.

They feared that taking a wife or life partner would leave them without options. That doing so would place them in a relationship in which they would inevitably grow apart.

I understand their fear. I know how that can happen, but it is not a reason to stay single. At least not from where I sit.

If you are with the right person it is whole different story. With the right person sometimes what you need is nothing more than a modest home to share with them. Quiet moments to share and moonlit nights to wander beneath. With the right person there are adventures big and small to be discovered.

But I digress. I am building my lists of what I want and what I need. And once I complete them I will begin working upon the plan. Goals and objectives will be set, and maybe I'll imitate that wacky Shmata Queen and get all giddy when I get to cross things off the list.

Although I doubt it. I kind of prefer leaving some mystery in it, but we'll leave that discussion for a different time.


Dr. Lisa said...

My motto courtesy of Sheryl Crow is: "Its not having what you want, but wanting what you've got!"

When you keep focused on that want v. need takes on a different argument

Jack said...

reminds me of the boys, "Love The One You're With."

Being happy with what you have is very important.I haven't any disagreement with that.

But since I plan on living for another 90 years I need to set some goals for myself, so...